Five More Minutes

So sorry it's been so long. So much is going on here, and I keep meaning to get online and tell you about it. This blog will probably be a little 'dis-jointed' as I'll try and go back and hit a few highlights of the past few weeks that I've been meaning to blog about. I'll " *** " so you know when I'm changing subjects. :o)

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Fourth of July was pretty uneventful for us. It was the first 4th of July that we haven't done anything or gone anywhere in, gosh, I think our entire marriage. At first we kind of were hopeful to do a little something even if it were for the weekend (a Friday/Saturday/Sunday beach trip), but it just didn't pan out. After the tenting and the screens and everything else we've done in the house... we simply couldn't see spending the money on it. Plus, we had this beautiful back yard - bug free - new screens - the pool looks GREAT because we got a new pool pump - the house has new paint everywhere inside - heck... we might as well enjoy our 4th of July HERE, right?

Well, as it happened to turn out, planning our weekend at home turned out to be a good idea. A couple of days before that Chris got hurt really bad. He had gone to take Justin to football practice at 6:35 in the morning then came back to bed. At 7:30 an alarm went off and Chris turned over to kiss me good morning. With that, he had a tremendous muscle spasm in his neck. He was screaming, dropped to the floor, and groveling around trying to figure out what to do. There was no making this any better. odd that - with as much hard labor as he does in remodeling and tile work - he pulled his back out kissing me good morning. Ah.... God's sense of humor again. Love it.

I took off work that morning and took him to the doctor. They gave him some muscle relaxers, Ibuprofen and something for pain. It took over a week for him to truly get any better. But he is finally feeling better.

So, although I had hoped we could spend the day together as a family - here's what really happened on the 4th. The kids did their own thing.... Chris slept much of the day as he could barely move, and I floated in the pool. But everyone did come together to enjoy dinner, which was nice. We grilled out some steak and it was great!

Oh, and this is funny.... so I overhear one of the kids talking about the 4th of July and how it's to celebrate the military. I said... "what exactly do you think we are celebrating today??"

Let me tell you -- not ONE SINGLE KID in this house knew what the 4th of July was celebrating. I heard things like: "Independence from Guatemala" and "When the Pilgrims came", "when Christopher Columbus found America" and "Independence from China". Not one single person here... three kids on honor roll, two now in 10th grade and two in 11th.... not one of them knew what we were celebrating on the 4th of July.

Course, when Julie came over on Sunday, I asked her the same question and she didn't know either. Jeez Louise. Scary stuff. What the heck???????

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Kayla has been working a lot this summer. Her 'goal' was to try to work this summer to be able to get a car. Not just because she wants a 'car', but for the freedom that comes from having a car. You know how it is at her age. Although Chris and I didn't want any of the kids to get their licenses until after they turned 18... she will be 18 in January. The way we figured it, if she works hard this summer, she can save enough to buy a car outright. Continue working and she can save for things like insurance.... gas money... tags.... etc.

Well, she keeps 'telling' us that she has all this money in the bank. But in reality she's been really bad about saving, and we've tried different things to help her. Initially, when she got the account, she would overdraw. So... she cut up her card. Now, in order to get money - she had to go to the bank and actually cash or deposit her check. But what would happen is she would put money in... then a few days later go in and take money out. Working as much as she has this summer... all she has saved is $120 as of Friday. Sad.

So, on Friday while home for lunch, I had a talk with her. I told her that I was concerned. I knew that when she turned 18 she really wanted a car. But, with her lack of saving - it just wasn't going to happen. I told her that I would be more than happy to help her save. I could take her checks, put them in an account where she couldn't walk in and get what she wanted any time, and just give her whatever spending money she wants every week.

She flat-out said no. She was good. She'd be fine. No problem. Shut me down fast and hard.

Alrightie then.

Well, as it happened, it rained something horrible later that day. Lightening strikes everywhere, rained buckets for a long period of time, most people kept losing power off and on during the storm. Where was Kayla during this storm? Walking to work.

My phone rings about 3 or so and she is crying hysterically. She was walking and the storm started when she was half-way there. She had been outside trying to figure out what to do for the past hour. She was now late for work. She called everyone else she could think of for help first. Lightening was striking all around her, she was wet and afraid. Of course, I jumped in my car and ran to get her - taking her the rest of the way to her work.

I didn't give her a big 'ole "I told you so" about a car... but what I did do is tell her that -- maybe God was trying to show her something. Maybe this horrible storm this afternoon was God's way of asking her to re-think her ideas on saving. And I was just going to leave it at that. And I did.

That afternoon she put $250 in the bank. Course, I don't know if she'll keep it in there or not, but we'll see.

And for those of you out there thinking it.... Chris and I don't believe in FORCING a child to save. If we did 'force' her to save enough for a car -- lets say she did buy it at 18. Then she is still totally irresponsible with money because that's just how she is. Well, now she has this car in the driveway, and the insurance payment is due... but no money in the bank because she's 18 now and I can't FORCE her anymore to save her money. So - have I really helped her? No, I don't believe so. For now... I want to encourage her to SAVE her own money, and offer to help her in ANY way that I can. Hold it for her. Open another account for her. But we'll never stop trying to stop TEACHING her how to help herself. Not until she's out of our house anyways.

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So, Julie started back to work on Friday. This is really good for her... and good for us. She's been doing really well - but at the same time I'm still waiting for the other shoe to fall. The other day she was slurring her words - she'd taken some meds. I hear she took a couple Flexaril (one Flexaril - a muscle relaxer - put Chris to sleep for hours), her Effexor and some Fioricet for a headache. Lots of stuff to make you loopy. But she's really doing so much better right now... I can't say too much about one day being loopy and slurring.

One of the things that I can say about when I get nervous about when the other "shoe is gonna fall' is that sometimes she can get a bit obsessive. I can tell you that on the 10th of this month she called the house 7 times in one day and called the kids at least once or twice on their cell phones. This is the same day, I believe, when she was taking the meds. This is when my gut starts telling me 'watch out'!

But she's been doing really well. Let's hope if things do start to turn for her that she gets help quickly and doesn't wait till it's too late.

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One of Kayla's friends just came to the house. I tell ya, what is the MATTER with parents today? This girl has been in a lot of trouble already. Failed a grade due to just not going to school. She's been in fights. She's just... gotten into quite a bit of trouble.

Tonight she is going to Club Sky in Ybor City. Club Sky? As in... the BAR?? I asked Kayla about it... she told me "she's going to a party with 20 or 30 of her friends". I said, "Kayla, she's going to a BAR, NOT to a PARTY. Let's call it what it is."

Oh.... I should mention that she is FIFTEEN.

Headed to the bar, with 20 friends or so.... and she is FIFTEEN. Where is her MOM? Why is this okay?? Why is Kayla letting her borrow clothes and not telling her that she should not be going to bars??? I'm going to tell Kayla that right now. She'll think I'm old... but I don't care. Let's see how this goes over.....

Like a ton of bricks. "Everyone does it Auntie Tina!" Oh well, still doesn't make it right. I call 'em like I see 'em. And right is still right. Legal is still legal. And moral is moral.

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Justin lost another one of his licenses and another wallet. This makes his 3rd wallet lost and the second time he's completely lost his drivers license. Unreal. If that boy's head wasn't attached, I swear he'd lose it. It's amazing. We even bought him a wallet with a chain so that he could chain it to his pants. Guess it didn't work so well. Sigh.....

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Julie is all moved into her new apartment. The apartment is much smaller than her home, of course. But - for Julie and what she needs, it's really perfect. It has a bedroom, just large enough to hold her bed, a dresser and TV. She has the bathroom, a little walk-in closet, then there is the living room and kitchen area.

It was -- odd -- moving Julie. On one hand I was SO PROUD of her because she had done a super great job of getting everything she needed gone sold and things that needed to be put in boxes were put in boxes. On the other hand, she had so little left. Much of what was Ron's was stolen or given away at some time or another. It's hard to explain... what was once a house - built by Julie and Ron personally, full of happy memories, so full of kids and family, was now... so empty.... dusty.... dirty............. It was really difficult at times.

I can only imagine that this has to have been really difficult for Julie as well. Exciting - and yet difficult as well.

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Saving Grace is starting again this week - I'm so excited. I just love this series, in an odd sort of way. I love it that TBS is bringing a show about God and an Angel helping a woman who is very edgy and does things that 'real people' actually do all the time. Curse, smoke, casual sex. I think it's an edgy show and I just love it.

My absolute favorite part of the show last year was when a guy converted to Islam. He's talking to Earl (God's angel) about his conversion and about how he's not going to worship God anymore, he's going to now start worshiping Allah. As the guy shuts his eyes and prays, he expected Earl to disappear -- but he didn't. Earl explained that God was the One. The Almighty. The Only. Call Him whatever you want... He is what He is - God. The guy could call him whatever he wanted, God would always be there to listen.

I liked that. A lot. :o)

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I really should run -- I wanted to leave you with this story tonight. It's about spending time with those you love.

Just Five More Minutes
Author Unknown

While at the park one day, a woman sat down next to a man on a bench near a playground.

"That's my son over there," she said, pointing to a little boy in a red sweater who was gliding down the slide.

"He's a fine looking boy" the man said. "That's my daughter on the bike in the white dress."

Then, looking at his watch, he called to his daughter. "What do you say we go, Melissa?"

Melissa pleaded, "Just five more minutes, Dad. Please? Just five more minutes."

The man nodded and Melissa continued to ride her bike to her heart's content. Minutes passed and the father stood and called again to his daughter. "Time to go now?"

Again Melissa pleaded, "Five more minutes, Dad. Just five more minutes."

The man smiled and said, "OK."

"My, you certainly are a patient father," the woman responded.

The man smiled and then said, "Her older brother Tommy was killed by a drunk driver last year while he was riding his bike near here. I never spent much time with Tommy and now I'd give anything for just five more minutes with him. I've vowed not to make the same mistake with Melissa.

She thinks she has five more minutes to ride her bike. The truth is, I get Five more minutes to watch her play."

Life is all about making priorities, what are your priorities?

Give someone you love 5 more minutes of your time today!