It's a big day for us today. End of month means it's my payday (I only get paid once a month). If I may take the floor here for a moment and vent a bit. As you know, this is our first real 'home' purchase. We purchased the home in December of 2004 and we didn't file homestead. The tax office told me recently that we couldn't have filed homestead at that time anyways. In any case, we have been just barely able to afford the home we are living in. Then the mortgage company gets last year's tax bill in the mail and we were short. Now we have to make that up (which I totally understand) - but also - we have to pay more this entire year because they think next year's taxes are going to be that high again. (We did file homestead for 2006). I called my mortgage company and they tell me that the only thing they need from our tax office is a note stating what our 'estimated taxes' are going to be for 2006 with homestead filed. Sounded easy enough, so my next call was to our wonderful Tax office. They tell me that they send those 'estimated tax' letters in October or November only - that they are unable to estimate my taxes for 2006 before then. So... from now till November I have to overpay taxes for my mortgage. The good news, I suppose, is that next year's payments will be much less because I will have then overpaid. But it's the payment between now and November that's going to kill me! Why does it have to be that difficult? *heavy sigh*
So, I've sunk everything into February's mortgage payment (Due 2/1/06 but oh well). We are expecting a nice tax refund check and we were hoping to get caught up on our mortgage (again, in a hole because of the initial cost of taking on the extra kids).
Other that this, a pretty uneventful day at the Rho-des house. It's 11:10pm and I'm still trying to get the girls into bed (they just don't listen!). Tomorrow Karen (from Hills Kids - the one who never calls me) is going to pick up the kids from school to take them to get their base ID's. Julie had lost them, but we need them from anything to getting them on base for some reason to medical care.
OH - and the kids have a BIG surprise tomorrow - but I can't tell you about it yet. I'll post more tomorrow about it and let you know how it went.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Monday, February 27, 2006
Happy FCAT Testing Day - err... Monday
Well......... sheeeeessssssshhhhh! Today is Monday - Chris is in Jacksonville working - and I had to get the kids out the door for school this morning. Chris has often told me that he really needs to push them to get them on the bus in time. I got them up on time - Justin is always the first one up and in the shower. It surprised me when Chris told me that Justin was always the last one out the door. *foreboding intentional - lol* Well, I have to be at work by 8am, the kids don't catch the bus until 8:35. So, I called them at 8:15 then again just before 8:30. I told them to have a good day (Their big FCAT testing is this week) and to hurry up so they wouldn't be late. Sure enough... 8:35 the phone rings here at work. *heavy sigh* It's Justin, he's missed the bus. I obviously left work, picked him up and brought him to school. He wanted to walk, but there's a reason they won't let the kids walk the 1.2 miles to school - there's a very busy street (Ehrlich) they should not cross. But anyways - they are all now at school. *grins*
Speaking of Justin - he's been really great lately. Just jumping in to handle chores and things that need to be done. He's back again to asking me several times a day if there is 'anything he can do for me'. I know he feels the stress thats in the house now since Kayla's arrest and I need to go over those "you're the kid and I'm the adult" rules again. I mean, I really do appreciate the love he shows me - but at the same time I don't want him to do everyone else's chores because he is trying to make things easier for me (and I've told him this too) - I would rather he go up there and bug his sister to get her to do her own chores. *evil grin* You know what I mean, right?
Julie just called the office hysterical. Karen just (finally) told her that she may never get her kids back, or that in a few more fancy words. In a nutshell, Julie said that Karen told her that they could never give her the kids until her psychiatrist felt she was able to handle them. (Remember, Julie's been going down the 'to-do list from the court thinking as soon as they were all done, they'd be back home) Further, Karen said it was even possible for the psychiatrist to tell the court that they didn't feel Julie would ever be able to raise the kids. If that were the case, they would 'seek long-term care for the kids'. (Remind you, this is exactly what her therapist, Vergeese, told me he was going to recommend) So, Julie's next call (still hysterical) was to Vijapuri (her psychiatrist) who said that he didn't know when Julie would be able to get the kids again. He thought it was very likely not going to happen before September. (This is going to crush those kids as Julie's been preparing them to come home in July, before they start school again). She was just sobbing and sobbing on the phone, it was so sad. I told her that - we've all really felt she needed long-term treatment for her mental illness. I pointed out that we even discussed this while Ron was still alive. God, she was so upset....
Speaking of God - I've been praying a lot lately. It's funny... I've felt that I've had this tendancy lately to feel that I'm somehow in control of things. That I could convince Julie that she needed to accept what's really going on - that I somehow needed to know how long I really was going to have the kids so that I could plan my future (short and long term). I realized suddenly that I was no longer 'trusting God', and I was trying to take over. I know in my heart of hearts that they are going to be with me only up until the day that God feels it's time for them to go home. I know that - when that time comes - I will need to be strong and trust in God and His plan because I know it will be hard for me to let them go. As much as I want to get my life back to normal, I also love having them around. They are really good kids and I love them very much.
On to some other news...
Speaking of Justin - he's been really great lately. Just jumping in to handle chores and things that need to be done. He's back again to asking me several times a day if there is 'anything he can do for me'. I know he feels the stress thats in the house now since Kayla's arrest and I need to go over those "you're the kid and I'm the adult" rules again. I mean, I really do appreciate the love he shows me - but at the same time I don't want him to do everyone else's chores because he is trying to make things easier for me (and I've told him this too) - I would rather he go up there and bug his sister to get her to do her own chores. *evil grin* You know what I mean, right?
Julie just called the office hysterical. Karen just (finally) told her that she may never get her kids back, or that in a few more fancy words. In a nutshell, Julie said that Karen told her that they could never give her the kids until her psychiatrist felt she was able to handle them. (Remember, Julie's been going down the 'to-do list from the court thinking as soon as they were all done, they'd be back home) Further, Karen said it was even possible for the psychiatrist to tell the court that they didn't feel Julie would ever be able to raise the kids. If that were the case, they would 'seek long-term care for the kids'. (Remind you, this is exactly what her therapist, Vergeese, told me he was going to recommend) So, Julie's next call (still hysterical) was to Vijapuri (her psychiatrist) who said that he didn't know when Julie would be able to get the kids again. He thought it was very likely not going to happen before September. (This is going to crush those kids as Julie's been preparing them to come home in July, before they start school again). She was just sobbing and sobbing on the phone, it was so sad. I told her that - we've all really felt she needed long-term treatment for her mental illness. I pointed out that we even discussed this while Ron was still alive. God, she was so upset....
Speaking of God - I've been praying a lot lately. It's funny... I've felt that I've had this tendancy lately to feel that I'm somehow in control of things. That I could convince Julie that she needed to accept what's really going on - that I somehow needed to know how long I really was going to have the kids so that I could plan my future (short and long term). I realized suddenly that I was no longer 'trusting God', and I was trying to take over. I know in my heart of hearts that they are going to be with me only up until the day that God feels it's time for them to go home. I know that - when that time comes - I will need to be strong and trust in God and His plan because I know it will be hard for me to let them go. As much as I want to get my life back to normal, I also love having them around. They are really good kids and I love them very much.
On to some other news...
- Mom is home from the hospital. *hugs her mommy* - Love you mom.
- Katie bought the kids some school pants - Love you Katie.
- Amanda has a job! (more on that when I get more info about it) - Love you Amanda, but, it's about time!
- Debi makes the best home made lasagna in the world - Love you Deb.
I guess that's all for now. Happy Monday everyone!
Sunday, February 26, 2006
The Weekend
It's been a pretty good weekend, I'd say. Saturday Jonathan had a performance in Spring Hill with his little quartet. Chris had a quartet performance in the morning and then went to Jacksonville in the afternoon - where he'll be working for 4 days. So the kids (Kayla, Justin and Kayte) and I went out Saturday afternoon. I took Justin for a much-needed haircut and then we all had lunch. We did little shopping at Walmart, and then we went home.
I did a little cleaning at home yesterday. It's amazing to me how much 4 kids can make a home filthy. Walls, doors, stairs, etc. - just dirt everywhere. So I walked around with a bleach bottle and did what I could for a little while. The kids did chores when I asked them to, but there's still a lot not yet done for the week. I'll have to make sure they finish them today.
Speaking of today - I'm VERY proud of myself. It's Sunday, and at 7:30 this morning I got the kids up, dressed, and out the door in time for Church. The natural thing for me to want to do was to sleep in since Chris isn't home, but I didn't. *cheers*
So the plan rest of the day... Jonathan has already left as he had to be at the show early for mic testing and such. Katie is coming up to take the rest of the kids for the day - which leaves me - gulp - dare I say it aloud? - alone. *grins* But, I've decided to go and watch Jonathan's show this afternoon, so I'll be leaving about 2 for that.
Whew... I saved the message above and then left for the show. It's 10:22pm, kids are all home and in the bed (albiet not yet sleeping) and I am very relaxed. Thank you Katie for taking the kids out today for a great day. Katie took them to lunch, to the movies, to dinner - and I got to spend the afternoon watching Jono. I just heard from mom who is in the hospital due to pneumonia. She had some vein surgery a few days ago and they believe she got the pneumonia from that. She's having more tests to check for a pulmonary embolism, which is very serious. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.
I've got to run - clothes to wash and kids to sternly tell 'it's time to sleep'.
Love you all. And mom, I'm thinking about you.
I did a little cleaning at home yesterday. It's amazing to me how much 4 kids can make a home filthy. Walls, doors, stairs, etc. - just dirt everywhere. So I walked around with a bleach bottle and did what I could for a little while. The kids did chores when I asked them to, but there's still a lot not yet done for the week. I'll have to make sure they finish them today.
Speaking of today - I'm VERY proud of myself. It's Sunday, and at 7:30 this morning I got the kids up, dressed, and out the door in time for Church. The natural thing for me to want to do was to sleep in since Chris isn't home, but I didn't. *cheers*
So the plan rest of the day... Jonathan has already left as he had to be at the show early for mic testing and such. Katie is coming up to take the rest of the kids for the day - which leaves me - gulp - dare I say it aloud? - alone. *grins* But, I've decided to go and watch Jonathan's show this afternoon, so I'll be leaving about 2 for that.
Whew... I saved the message above and then left for the show. It's 10:22pm, kids are all home and in the bed (albiet not yet sleeping) and I am very relaxed. Thank you Katie for taking the kids out today for a great day. Katie took them to lunch, to the movies, to dinner - and I got to spend the afternoon watching Jono. I just heard from mom who is in the hospital due to pneumonia. She had some vein surgery a few days ago and they believe she got the pneumonia from that. She's having more tests to check for a pulmonary embolism, which is very serious. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.
I've got to run - clothes to wash and kids to sternly tell 'it's time to sleep'.
Love you all. And mom, I'm thinking about you.
Friday, February 24, 2006
Julie's Weekly Visit
Whew... the weekly visit from Julie is finally over. :o)
She came over today (Friday night) because her AA meeting had something going on tomorrow and she didn't want to miss it. So... I go home sick with a migraine this afternoon. About 4ish Julie shows up. She knew I was sick, but she turned on the overhead light and stayed in my room talking to me until I got up. Couldn't let me rest... oh no. So, I cooked dinner for everyone - Chris worked in the bathroom upstairs (which, by the way, is looking AWESOME). Julie and the kids sat on the sofa and waited.
Before dinner I was talking to Julie about Karen (the lady from Hillsborough Kids who I've been leaving messages with but is always too busy to talk to me). I noted how frustrated I was with the fact that she's not returning any of my calls. Then we started talking about what Julie needs to do to get her kids back. *sigh* In a nutshell... the court gave her documents stating what had to happen for her to get the kids back. It noted that her primary reason for losing the kids was that she was so mentally ill that she was unable to properly care for them. In this document they listed going to her psychiatrist once a week, parenting classes, as well as lots of other things. Well, Julie is just running down the list of things to check off (got income - check; got rooms for them to sleep - check; off pot - check; bad gang members no longer living at home - check; etc, etc) What she doesn't get is that the fundamental problem, the mental illness, needs to be addressed. Julie told me that Karen was being so nice to her and that she knew that Karen was "Only there for her". She also told me that her atty told her that she could get her kids before 7/06 (next court date). I told her that Karen, as well as every other professional that came to my house, told me that she'd be "lucky" to ever get her kids back. She then called Karen on her cell phone. Karen answered - Julie talked to her for a bit, then she put me on the phone with her. (This is the first time I've been able to talk to her in over a week, she won't return my calls)
I told Karen that I was very concerned about the kids. I said "these kids need help - they are all failing school, Kayla's been arrested - what more do you want to happen before you get them some help?" She kept telling me over and over again how busy she was. She told me that she and Julie had plans to take the kids out of school next week to get their base ID's. I said.. the kids have FCAT next week, you can't take them out. She was totally unaware of this - and of course - how could she know if she hadn't returned any of my phone calls? She then talked about the psychiatrist visits. She told me that she was now too busy to take them, and that I'd need to take them (more time off work!!!). She then was talking to someone else while on the phone with me and told me she had to go but would call me back. (I've heard that before)
Okay, so after hanging up with her I became more and more infuriated. I then called the kids Guardian Ad Litem and told her how angry I was. I told her that I truly and honestly felt that Karen was too busy for this case and that the kids were going to suffer as a result. I told her that - especially after Karen's 2nd visit to my house whereupon she told me that she felt the kids did not need psychiatric care; only to find out later she had not even read the case file to know what happend to the kids - that Karen was just too detached to know what's going on. When I talked to Karen this time about the slow moving process of getting them help, I mentioned the comprehensive psychiatric exam the kids had last month. The one that took 6 hours out of my life alone, then add to that about 5 hours per kid of watching, evaluating, examining, questioning, and testing each kid for psychiatric needs. I told her that surely that exam must have shown a warranted need to rush these services. She didn't have any clue what the hell I was talking about. She thinks - somewhere - she has paperwork on it. When talking to the Guardain Ad Litem lady, I told her that Julie thought Karen was only there for her (Julie) and if that was the case, then maybe that's why she's not returning my calls. She explained that Karen was the one person that is over all of this, Julie, the kids, and even me - to make sure that we all had everything we need to take care of business. Obviously, Karen is lacking in the 'our side' department.
I want to speak with Karen's supervisor, but - I have no idea where to start with that. I was never given a main number to reach anyone at this 'Hillsborough Kids', just Karen's cell phone number. This is going to be my top priority on Monday morning. To find Karen's supervisor's name and file a formal complaint. Wish me luck.
I'm exhausted and going to bed. Tomorrow Jonathan has a big quartet performance (Chris will be there with him) and I'll be home all day with just the three kids. Wish me luck there as well.
One last thing - this is Julie's last visit for another 2 weeks. Gwen is coming next weekend to see the kids (Ron's mom) and Julie wants nothing to do with her, so she's not coming at all for next week's visit. I feel like I've been given "the week off". Yeah!!!! And - honestly - I can't wait for Gwen to come. I think she's just a wonderful woman whom I kick myself for not knowing better while Ron was alive. But - Ron is up there in heaven looking down - and I, for one, am positive he's smiling at me and happy with what I'm doing. Oh, and did I mention - Ron's mom drinks wine! So... I'm going to be in hog-heaven making sure she's well taken care of in my house. LOL
Love you all.....
She came over today (Friday night) because her AA meeting had something going on tomorrow and she didn't want to miss it. So... I go home sick with a migraine this afternoon. About 4ish Julie shows up. She knew I was sick, but she turned on the overhead light and stayed in my room talking to me until I got up. Couldn't let me rest... oh no. So, I cooked dinner for everyone - Chris worked in the bathroom upstairs (which, by the way, is looking AWESOME). Julie and the kids sat on the sofa and waited.
Before dinner I was talking to Julie about Karen (the lady from Hillsborough Kids who I've been leaving messages with but is always too busy to talk to me). I noted how frustrated I was with the fact that she's not returning any of my calls. Then we started talking about what Julie needs to do to get her kids back. *sigh* In a nutshell... the court gave her documents stating what had to happen for her to get the kids back. It noted that her primary reason for losing the kids was that she was so mentally ill that she was unable to properly care for them. In this document they listed going to her psychiatrist once a week, parenting classes, as well as lots of other things. Well, Julie is just running down the list of things to check off (got income - check; got rooms for them to sleep - check; off pot - check; bad gang members no longer living at home - check; etc, etc) What she doesn't get is that the fundamental problem, the mental illness, needs to be addressed. Julie told me that Karen was being so nice to her and that she knew that Karen was "Only there for her". She also told me that her atty told her that she could get her kids before 7/06 (next court date). I told her that Karen, as well as every other professional that came to my house, told me that she'd be "lucky" to ever get her kids back. She then called Karen on her cell phone. Karen answered - Julie talked to her for a bit, then she put me on the phone with her. (This is the first time I've been able to talk to her in over a week, she won't return my calls)
I told Karen that I was very concerned about the kids. I said "these kids need help - they are all failing school, Kayla's been arrested - what more do you want to happen before you get them some help?" She kept telling me over and over again how busy she was. She told me that she and Julie had plans to take the kids out of school next week to get their base ID's. I said.. the kids have FCAT next week, you can't take them out. She was totally unaware of this - and of course - how could she know if she hadn't returned any of my phone calls? She then talked about the psychiatrist visits. She told me that she was now too busy to take them, and that I'd need to take them (more time off work!!!). She then was talking to someone else while on the phone with me and told me she had to go but would call me back. (I've heard that before)
Okay, so after hanging up with her I became more and more infuriated. I then called the kids Guardian Ad Litem and told her how angry I was. I told her that I truly and honestly felt that Karen was too busy for this case and that the kids were going to suffer as a result. I told her that - especially after Karen's 2nd visit to my house whereupon she told me that she felt the kids did not need psychiatric care; only to find out later she had not even read the case file to know what happend to the kids - that Karen was just too detached to know what's going on. When I talked to Karen this time about the slow moving process of getting them help, I mentioned the comprehensive psychiatric exam the kids had last month. The one that took 6 hours out of my life alone, then add to that about 5 hours per kid of watching, evaluating, examining, questioning, and testing each kid for psychiatric needs. I told her that surely that exam must have shown a warranted need to rush these services. She didn't have any clue what the hell I was talking about. She thinks - somewhere - she has paperwork on it. When talking to the Guardain Ad Litem lady, I told her that Julie thought Karen was only there for her (Julie) and if that was the case, then maybe that's why she's not returning my calls. She explained that Karen was the one person that is over all of this, Julie, the kids, and even me - to make sure that we all had everything we need to take care of business. Obviously, Karen is lacking in the 'our side' department.
I want to speak with Karen's supervisor, but - I have no idea where to start with that. I was never given a main number to reach anyone at this 'Hillsborough Kids', just Karen's cell phone number. This is going to be my top priority on Monday morning. To find Karen's supervisor's name and file a formal complaint. Wish me luck.
I'm exhausted and going to bed. Tomorrow Jonathan has a big quartet performance (Chris will be there with him) and I'll be home all day with just the three kids. Wish me luck there as well.
One last thing - this is Julie's last visit for another 2 weeks. Gwen is coming next weekend to see the kids (Ron's mom) and Julie wants nothing to do with her, so she's not coming at all for next week's visit. I feel like I've been given "the week off". Yeah!!!! And - honestly - I can't wait for Gwen to come. I think she's just a wonderful woman whom I kick myself for not knowing better while Ron was alive. But - Ron is up there in heaven looking down - and I, for one, am positive he's smiling at me and happy with what I'm doing. Oh, and did I mention - Ron's mom drinks wine! So... I'm going to be in hog-heaven making sure she's well taken care of in my house. LOL
Love you all.....
I'm Gonna Kill These Kids....
I swear... they are just wonderful kids - with not an ounce of respect or common sense at times. *heavy sigh* Where to start? *rubs her head trying to ease the headache*
This morning I get up and had a horrible headache. Chris was wonderful - got up, dressed, and was at CVS buying me Advil before my feet even hit the floor. Awesome man! So... headache is a little better. Just a little.
The kids have still not finished washing their towels from last night. As a matter of fact, not one single load is - as of yet - done. So, I go into the laundry room before going to work to see what I could do to help. What do I find?? I'm glad you asked! Wet clothes removed from the dryer. See... someone got up this morning and figured they'd throw a shirt or maybe pants in the dryer to steam the wrinkles out of them. But... there were wet towels in there. They take the wet towels out, throwing them on top of the dryer (which has tons of other stuff on it) and take care of their clothes. When done, do you think they had the common curteosy to put the wet towels back into the dryer? Of course not! Some may think, eh, "it's just one load, don't sweat the small stuff" - but we've been through this with them before - the clothes have sat wet so long that they soured and then had to be re-washed a couple times to get that nasty sour smell out of them. But more importantly than all of that - because I do truly realize this is 'stuff' we're talking about here - it's the common courtesy thing.
Realizing that someone is going to need a dry towel later.... realizing that they are not the only ones who use the dryer... realizing that Chris and I will be at work all day and don't have the time to follow behind them picking up all their half-assed chores.
I guess I'm kind of hoping that the problem is simply that they are being teenagers who have had a manic mom picking up after them in the past. What I'm afraid of is that they lack the same common courtesy and common sense that their mom lacks.
I talked to mom earlier (who was being prepped for surgery - jeez what a bad kid I am to call her at such a time!) and she told me that maybe I was being too hard on them. And... I've analized that to death - thinking maybe she's right - but... I don't think so. I'm not asking for chores to be done perfect, rooms spotless, no room for fun. I'm just asking for each of them to help with their share. Then mom said that they should each just be responsible for their own thing (clothes) - and - that's the way it's supposed to be. But when they run out of towels, they grab ours. When they run out of hairspray, they take ours. Tampons, they take mine. Conditioner or soap in their tub, they take it out of ours. But they don't tell me when they are doing it or after they've done it - I realize it when I've gone to grab something only to realize it's not there. Again, lack of common courtesy. *heavy sigh*
Siging off for now - got to get some work done. If anyone has any tidbits of wisdom they would like to share on this subject, please feel free to email me - I'm at my wits end on this one.
This morning I get up and had a horrible headache. Chris was wonderful - got up, dressed, and was at CVS buying me Advil before my feet even hit the floor. Awesome man! So... headache is a little better. Just a little.
The kids have still not finished washing their towels from last night. As a matter of fact, not one single load is - as of yet - done. So, I go into the laundry room before going to work to see what I could do to help. What do I find?? I'm glad you asked! Wet clothes removed from the dryer. See... someone got up this morning and figured they'd throw a shirt or maybe pants in the dryer to steam the wrinkles out of them. But... there were wet towels in there. They take the wet towels out, throwing them on top of the dryer (which has tons of other stuff on it) and take care of their clothes. When done, do you think they had the common curteosy to put the wet towels back into the dryer? Of course not! Some may think, eh, "it's just one load, don't sweat the small stuff" - but we've been through this with them before - the clothes have sat wet so long that they soured and then had to be re-washed a couple times to get that nasty sour smell out of them. But more importantly than all of that - because I do truly realize this is 'stuff' we're talking about here - it's the common courtesy thing.
Realizing that someone is going to need a dry towel later.... realizing that they are not the only ones who use the dryer... realizing that Chris and I will be at work all day and don't have the time to follow behind them picking up all their half-assed chores.
I guess I'm kind of hoping that the problem is simply that they are being teenagers who have had a manic mom picking up after them in the past. What I'm afraid of is that they lack the same common courtesy and common sense that their mom lacks.
I talked to mom earlier (who was being prepped for surgery - jeez what a bad kid I am to call her at such a time!) and she told me that maybe I was being too hard on them. And... I've analized that to death - thinking maybe she's right - but... I don't think so. I'm not asking for chores to be done perfect, rooms spotless, no room for fun. I'm just asking for each of them to help with their share. Then mom said that they should each just be responsible for their own thing (clothes) - and - that's the way it's supposed to be. But when they run out of towels, they grab ours. When they run out of hairspray, they take ours. Tampons, they take mine. Conditioner or soap in their tub, they take it out of ours. But they don't tell me when they are doing it or after they've done it - I realize it when I've gone to grab something only to realize it's not there. Again, lack of common courtesy. *heavy sigh*
Siging off for now - got to get some work done. If anyone has any tidbits of wisdom they would like to share on this subject, please feel free to email me - I'm at my wits end on this one.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Jonathan's Birthday and Schtuff...
Wow! I haven't gone one day without a full post since I started this blog. Whew... it truly was that crazy of a day yesterday!
It started with a fiasco involving Julie. (doesn't it always start that way?) You see, I offered to pay Julie's mortgage for her, as long as she gives me money from the VA (which the VA should be giving to the kids anyways, but they won't for some reason). On February 1st, I paid her mortgage for Feb. using my online billpay with Bank of America. Julie gave me an account number, and address which included a building number and a suite number. Well, her mortgage company called her yesterday because they never received the payment. (When you pay with billpay, the money is deducted from you account immedaitely, so I didn't know this). Long story short - the account number, address, building number and suite number that Julie gave me were all wrong. My bank had to stop payment on that check, and in a few days they will credit my account again. Of course, Julie called again and begged me to pay it immediately - she couldn't wait the 48 hours it was going to take, and I ended up paying it. But I told her that 1) this was her mistake and 2) not to bother me too much about it because I still haven't paid my own Feb mortgage and I was pissed off about it. But she's happy now because she is taken care of. Those of you who know her know, it's always about Julie. I spent roughly 2 hours on this yesterday. I didn't have 2 hours to give, but I did it.
Then we had to go to Church where we became new members and were introduced. It was very nice, and it was wonderful having Evie, Jimmie and Mom there with us. We were supposed to get up after the introductions and leave (I had even cleared this with the pastor) - but - right at that time, the guest speaker was talking. He was a young high school Sunday school teacher. And... he was very very nervous. His opening prayer to God was about how he knew he wasn't good at talking in front of people and asking God to help him. He was visably insecure - and I could only think, "how would this young man feel watching 9 people (an entire pew) get up and walk out". LOL Needless to say - we stayed put and left afterwards. This put us eating a little late, but, we still got done about 10pm. Not too bad. :o)
So... there is a buzz around my office here at work today. Not a buzz like 'talking' -- but rather -- a real buzz! Yesterday we had a serious honey bee problem outside our windows here at work. They managed to get into the ceiling and kept hitting the drop-down tile till they got into the office. Dozens of them. I have two bosses (brothers) Steven and David. David is highly allergic to Bees and thank goodness he wasn't here. Steve and I probably killed 50 bees yesterday. We called the landlord and turned the AC down before leaving for the night (figuring the bees wouldn't like it). This morning we come in to many more bees. First of all, there were all these bees all over the place dead (or nearly dead) - I suppose they really didn't like the AC. Probably more than 100 dead bees. But outside and inside on the window a totally different story. There's a swarm who've made a home outside on the overhang over the window by David's office. Hundreds of bees. So, I call the landlord again. It'd difficult to get her to understand that they are IN the office everywhere. Outside yes, but inside as well. She calls her bug guy - but guess what? He doesn't do honey bees and suggests she call a beekeeper. (Now I'm feeling like I'm on animal planet television!) She calls a bee company and they'll be out after lunch. Great! So... I try to go to lunch, and I can't. The swarm is 'swarming' and they are all over the stairs (the only way to the parking lot). It's not just me, people in the other offices are afraid to go down as well. Finally it calms down and I go to my car only to look up and see our window overhang covered with bees - like - you see no building - only bees - layer and layer of bees. *shivers*
So, the bee guy comes right after lunch. He's like really impressed with the swarm. He finds it 'cool'. We just want them dead. He said he'll be back later to get them. This should be fun to watch. I just went into David's office to look at them. There are hundreds of them just laying there - which appear to be dead. I touched one - and guess what? You guessed it. Not dead. They must be hybernating because it's so freezing in here. (down to 60 at the moment). But not dead. Still dozens and dozens others flying into the glass trying to get out (the windows don't open) - it sounds FREAKY. The funny thing is that, for the most part, these little guys are kind of nice. I mean, it looks and sounds horriffic. But, you can walk right up to them swarming and they (so far) haven't stung me. *knocks on wood*
Back at home now (saved my blog so I could work on it later). I'm really not feeling all that well right now, have a horrible headache. But wanted to share one quick thing with you before I go to bed.
Chris and I have talked to the kids about common courtesy. In particular when it comes to doing clothes. They have a schedule and are all to do their clothes once a week. So.... tonight... we run out of towels. Yes, 40 towels - all dirty and in their rooms. We tell them they HAVE to do towels tonight, and tell them that if they HAD been doing their chores as was on the chart, this would not be an issue. So... they start towels (I have a load in the dryer from last night I hadn't finished). When it comes time to put the towels in the dryer - Kayte sees the clean clothes in there and what does she do? Bring them to me? No. Fold them? No. Put them in a hamper to be folded later? No. Tosses them all over a dirty floor, mixed with dirty clothes that are on the floor (because there has not once since they moved in been a time when all the clothes were ever done and nothing was in the laundry room). Just pure inconsiderate. And... we've had this talk before - about helping out in the house - pulling your weight - being considerate. It just plain and simply doesn't sink in. Not to mention they couldn't even finish one load of towels and now nobody has any for the morning. Sigh.
I'm frustrated and not feeling well so am going to bed. Goodnight!
It started with a fiasco involving Julie. (doesn't it always start that way?) You see, I offered to pay Julie's mortgage for her, as long as she gives me money from the VA (which the VA should be giving to the kids anyways, but they won't for some reason). On February 1st, I paid her mortgage for Feb. using my online billpay with Bank of America. Julie gave me an account number, and address which included a building number and a suite number. Well, her mortgage company called her yesterday because they never received the payment. (When you pay with billpay, the money is deducted from you account immedaitely, so I didn't know this). Long story short - the account number, address, building number and suite number that Julie gave me were all wrong. My bank had to stop payment on that check, and in a few days they will credit my account again. Of course, Julie called again and begged me to pay it immediately - she couldn't wait the 48 hours it was going to take, and I ended up paying it. But I told her that 1) this was her mistake and 2) not to bother me too much about it because I still haven't paid my own Feb mortgage and I was pissed off about it. But she's happy now because she is taken care of. Those of you who know her know, it's always about Julie. I spent roughly 2 hours on this yesterday. I didn't have 2 hours to give, but I did it.
Then we had to go to Church where we became new members and were introduced. It was very nice, and it was wonderful having Evie, Jimmie and Mom there with us. We were supposed to get up after the introductions and leave (I had even cleared this with the pastor) - but - right at that time, the guest speaker was talking. He was a young high school Sunday school teacher. And... he was very very nervous. His opening prayer to God was about how he knew he wasn't good at talking in front of people and asking God to help him. He was visably insecure - and I could only think, "how would this young man feel watching 9 people (an entire pew) get up and walk out". LOL Needless to say - we stayed put and left afterwards. This put us eating a little late, but, we still got done about 10pm. Not too bad. :o)
So... there is a buzz around my office here at work today. Not a buzz like 'talking' -- but rather -- a real buzz! Yesterday we had a serious honey bee problem outside our windows here at work. They managed to get into the ceiling and kept hitting the drop-down tile till they got into the office. Dozens of them. I have two bosses (brothers) Steven and David. David is highly allergic to Bees and thank goodness he wasn't here. Steve and I probably killed 50 bees yesterday. We called the landlord and turned the AC down before leaving for the night (figuring the bees wouldn't like it). This morning we come in to many more bees. First of all, there were all these bees all over the place dead (or nearly dead) - I suppose they really didn't like the AC. Probably more than 100 dead bees. But outside and inside on the window a totally different story. There's a swarm who've made a home outside on the overhang over the window by David's office. Hundreds of bees. So, I call the landlord again. It'd difficult to get her to understand that they are IN the office everywhere. Outside yes, but inside as well. She calls her bug guy - but guess what? He doesn't do honey bees and suggests she call a beekeeper. (Now I'm feeling like I'm on animal planet television!) She calls a bee company and they'll be out after lunch. Great! So... I try to go to lunch, and I can't. The swarm is 'swarming' and they are all over the stairs (the only way to the parking lot). It's not just me, people in the other offices are afraid to go down as well. Finally it calms down and I go to my car only to look up and see our window overhang covered with bees - like - you see no building - only bees - layer and layer of bees. *shivers*
So, the bee guy comes right after lunch. He's like really impressed with the swarm. He finds it 'cool'. We just want them dead. He said he'll be back later to get them. This should be fun to watch. I just went into David's office to look at them. There are hundreds of them just laying there - which appear to be dead. I touched one - and guess what? You guessed it. Not dead. They must be hybernating because it's so freezing in here. (down to 60 at the moment). But not dead. Still dozens and dozens others flying into the glass trying to get out (the windows don't open) - it sounds FREAKY. The funny thing is that, for the most part, these little guys are kind of nice. I mean, it looks and sounds horriffic. But, you can walk right up to them swarming and they (so far) haven't stung me. *knocks on wood*
Back at home now (saved my blog so I could work on it later). I'm really not feeling all that well right now, have a horrible headache. But wanted to share one quick thing with you before I go to bed.
Chris and I have talked to the kids about common courtesy. In particular when it comes to doing clothes. They have a schedule and are all to do their clothes once a week. So.... tonight... we run out of towels. Yes, 40 towels - all dirty and in their rooms. We tell them they HAVE to do towels tonight, and tell them that if they HAD been doing their chores as was on the chart, this would not be an issue. So... they start towels (I have a load in the dryer from last night I hadn't finished). When it comes time to put the towels in the dryer - Kayte sees the clean clothes in there and what does she do? Bring them to me? No. Fold them? No. Put them in a hamper to be folded later? No. Tosses them all over a dirty floor, mixed with dirty clothes that are on the floor (because there has not once since they moved in been a time when all the clothes were ever done and nothing was in the laundry room). Just pure inconsiderate. And... we've had this talk before - about helping out in the house - pulling your weight - being considerate. It just plain and simply doesn't sink in. Not to mention they couldn't even finish one load of towels and now nobody has any for the morning. Sigh.
I'm frustrated and not feeling well so am going to bed. Goodnight!
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Picture of Julie
For those of you who may read this that don't know Julie and can't fully understand her mental illness... here is a photo of her. She actually asked for the colors in her hair....
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
The Breakfast Dinner
I was reading today and came across something and put it into my own words. Sit back, take a deep breath as I stand on a soapbox for a moment.
I read a blog of a woman who went to her daughter's high school. She was shocked becasue she heard teenagers calling each other names and yelling profanity at each other, using cuss words that most consider hard-core and words that would be considered vulgar. Some were saying these things to be mean, others jokingly. What surprised her most was that teachers were walking right past these students - ignoring it all. The kids didn't seem to care that there were adults there and continued to talk however they wanted to. She noted that when she was in school she wouldn't dare to or have the nerve to talk like that in front of a teacher, and that even if it was done it would not have been ignored, the student would've been suspended or disciplined somehow. She noted that this was not just words, but rather, it seemed to be a way of living. I truly and whole-heartedly agree with this.
Someone once said: What one generation accepts, the next embraces. I am afraid that we have accepted too much and now we are embracing what shouldn't be accepted. It is so crucial to teach what is right from wrong. I can't say that I am " the perfect parent" or the best parent, or even a popular parent. I made, and still make, many mistakes and learned a lot the hard way - Just ask Amanda. I certainly can't say that I have perfect children or that we didn't go through difficulties, rebellion, many discipline issues, grounding, etc. - but, they are turning out o.k.! (so far, knock on wood!)
I don't believe that parents should shy away from disciplining because they want to be their child's best friend. (Which is something Julie does try often) We are our kids parents first, friends second. Our responsibility as parents is to lead our children to God, raise our children, not necessarily to be happy all the time, but to be safe and healthy. Our job as parents is to raise our children to be contributing, valuable members of society. Children will grow up a product of their parent's efforts. Proverbs 22:6: Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.
No doubt these kids, even with their mom loving them and trying her best to do what she felt was right, have been exposed to none of this. All of us close to the kids have seen them living the way of life listed above - talking and acting obscene and as if they were 'thugs' - telling them jokingly that they were 'ghetto'. Well... it's not funny anymore - not from where I'm sitting. Every day being a small stepping stone to 'the right path' for the kids. Every day telling them and/or showing them that the life they have been leading is not okay. Trying so hard to help them see that - with God's help and His guiding light leading the way, there is a very bright future for them. They may be kicking and screaming as they go down that path with us right now, but I hope that soon they will be walking the right path - on their own.
*Stepping down from the soapbox*
We had a nice dinner this evening. I wasn't feeling well, but wanted to eat (before 10 pm tonight!) - so I made breakfast for dinner. We had eggs, pancakes, biscuits, bacon and sausage. Yummy!! I love eating together at night, we have lots of time to talk about school and things. The kids are telling me they are doing better in school. We'll see what happens when report cards come. I'll keep you posted on that.
I had a nice talk tonight with Gwen (Ron's mom). Gosh, she is such an amazing woman. I only wish I had known her better when Ron was still alive. I wish I could post more on this, but I really can't. I'm very tired now - and going to bed. My neck is still killing me - maybe it'll get better when I sleep tonight. Cross your fingers.
Love you all.
I read a blog of a woman who went to her daughter's high school. She was shocked becasue she heard teenagers calling each other names and yelling profanity at each other, using cuss words that most consider hard-core and words that would be considered vulgar. Some were saying these things to be mean, others jokingly. What surprised her most was that teachers were walking right past these students - ignoring it all. The kids didn't seem to care that there were adults there and continued to talk however they wanted to. She noted that when she was in school she wouldn't dare to or have the nerve to talk like that in front of a teacher, and that even if it was done it would not have been ignored, the student would've been suspended or disciplined somehow. She noted that this was not just words, but rather, it seemed to be a way of living. I truly and whole-heartedly agree with this.
Someone once said: What one generation accepts, the next embraces. I am afraid that we have accepted too much and now we are embracing what shouldn't be accepted. It is so crucial to teach what is right from wrong. I can't say that I am " the perfect parent" or the best parent, or even a popular parent. I made, and still make, many mistakes and learned a lot the hard way - Just ask Amanda. I certainly can't say that I have perfect children or that we didn't go through difficulties, rebellion, many discipline issues, grounding, etc. - but, they are turning out o.k.! (so far, knock on wood!)
I don't believe that parents should shy away from disciplining because they want to be their child's best friend. (Which is something Julie does try often) We are our kids parents first, friends second. Our responsibility as parents is to lead our children to God, raise our children, not necessarily to be happy all the time, but to be safe and healthy. Our job as parents is to raise our children to be contributing, valuable members of society. Children will grow up a product of their parent's efforts. Proverbs 22:6: Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.
No doubt these kids, even with their mom loving them and trying her best to do what she felt was right, have been exposed to none of this. All of us close to the kids have seen them living the way of life listed above - talking and acting obscene and as if they were 'thugs' - telling them jokingly that they were 'ghetto'. Well... it's not funny anymore - not from where I'm sitting. Every day being a small stepping stone to 'the right path' for the kids. Every day telling them and/or showing them that the life they have been leading is not okay. Trying so hard to help them see that - with God's help and His guiding light leading the way, there is a very bright future for them. They may be kicking and screaming as they go down that path with us right now, but I hope that soon they will be walking the right path - on their own.
*Stepping down from the soapbox*
We had a nice dinner this evening. I wasn't feeling well, but wanted to eat (before 10 pm tonight!) - so I made breakfast for dinner. We had eggs, pancakes, biscuits, bacon and sausage. Yummy!! I love eating together at night, we have lots of time to talk about school and things. The kids are telling me they are doing better in school. We'll see what happens when report cards come. I'll keep you posted on that.
I had a nice talk tonight with Gwen (Ron's mom). Gosh, she is such an amazing woman. I only wish I had known her better when Ron was still alive. I wish I could post more on this, but I really can't. I'm very tired now - and going to bed. My neck is still killing me - maybe it'll get better when I sleep tonight. Cross your fingers.
Love you all.
Can I go ONE day?
Just one, that's all I asking for! One day without someone doing something they are not supposed to do.
Where to start... hmmm....
I got home last night, and indeed, I was exhausted. Chris said it was a wonderful sight - all 4 kids around the table doing homework. WOW! When I got home, they had finished. I played a little basketball, watched a little TV, but then decided to take a quick nap. I had whole chickens defrosting (it takes 2 to feed all of us), and I figured I'd get up about 6:30 and put them in the oven. At 7:45 I opened my eyes and realized how late it was. ARGGHHHH!!!!
So, I get up and begin to cook dinner. I throw some spices on the chickens and throw them in the oven. (By the way, I'm not sure I like looking at a whole uncooked chicken. You can almost see him sitting there, feathers, head and all - just waiting to be cooked. It's GROSS!!) Two whole chickens - started at 8pm - you do the math. UGG
Now it's chore nagging time. Someone needs to set the table. Someone needs to take out trash. Someone needs to sweep the floors. Someone is supposed to have a load of clothes done -but they are not yet started. Nag nag nag. I just hate that. But, it's necessary at this point.
Kayla - when I see her (she was in her room a lot last night) is apologizing often. I don't even know what to say to her. She didn't hurt my feelings, she was arrested. Again, no idea how to deal with her.
At one point before dinner - Jonathan and Justin came in the house (they were outside playing basketball). Jonathan was furious with Justin. Long story short, Justin had been taunting him. To see two young men screaming at each other because "you bunny-hexed me" - well.... it's hard not to laugh. But they were really angry with each other. I had to stop them from getting into a real fist fight. Once they calmed down, I sat them down and talked to them. I explained that - with every relationship for the rest of their lives - when they love someone a lot, the emotions are going to be extreme. If you love someone deeply, you can also hurt deeply and get very angry. If you just 'like' someone (like a friend at school), you will get a little angry or a little hurt. I explained to them that - the fact that they were THAT angry with each other showed me how much they really love each other.
I told them that - the other day, after the Guardian Ad Litem came over - she called me at work. She wanted to tell me that she forgot to mention how she felt about Jonathan and Justin. She said "it's in the little things" you notice. She noticed that Jonathan asked Justin if he was hungry. Justin said yes. (The Guardian lady was talking to them in the living room so Justin couldn't really get up) Jonathan returned a short while later with cinnamon toast. She thought that it was very sweet and thoughtful of Jonathan, and she could really tell they were getting along well. (Darn good thing she didn't see them last night!)
During our long talk last night we discussed how it really wasn't about a 'bunny-hex', but it was about knowing when to stop. That it didn't matter what the arguement was about - when you see someone you care for is getting upset over something you are saying or doing, even if what you are doing or saying is well-intended, you need to stop it. Well... anyways... after a long talk, they got up and hugged each other.
I wish that topped off my night - but of course - it didn't. Kayla was in her bedroom and Chris walked in to check on her. She was on the phone. (now, remember, she's on restriciton from phones/internet/computer/friends coming over or her going out) Chris asked who she was talking to - she said her mom. Chris had a feeling she was lying (jeez... I wonder why?) - so he asked to talk to her. Kayla handed the phone over - she was on the phone with her new boyfriend, Elmo. Can I just get 24 hours here with no rule-breaking? Come on Kayla!!!
Dinner is ready at 9:45pm. Uggg... late, so late. But, it's dinner. The chicken was yummy! Mashed potatoes. No veggies - which is a funny story. The best mother-in-law in the whole wide world (mine) brought over all this food, including canned veggies. Now, I'm really trying to make the kids good meals - before they moved in with me, they didn't sit down together to eat, and they rarely had home-cooked meals. So veggies really round out the meals. The day after we get all the canned goods, sure enough, our can opener breaks. You may think, big deal - get another. Well, we looked at Walmart and didn't find one (I'm sure they were there, we just didn't see them) - PLUS - this is our first can opener we ever got as a couple. Nearly 20 years ago. It's kind of sad. So... I looked at the canned veggies with a bit of remorse and thought - none tonight! *Mental note - buy a new can opener!*
So, dinner is over by 10ish. The kids clean up and go to bed. Whewwwwwww - what a night!
I got up this morning and have extreme pain in my neck. Apparently I slept wrong. Good lord it hurts. Wish I were home.... but I just love my job and it's a pleasure to work here. Then again, 4 Advil and a pillow sound pretty good. ARGHHHH
I just want to take a moment again to thank all of you for your love and support. The food, the clothes, the support, the love -- it's just all wonderful. Thank you for being a part of God's plan.
I love you all.
Where to start... hmmm....
I got home last night, and indeed, I was exhausted. Chris said it was a wonderful sight - all 4 kids around the table doing homework. WOW! When I got home, they had finished. I played a little basketball, watched a little TV, but then decided to take a quick nap. I had whole chickens defrosting (it takes 2 to feed all of us), and I figured I'd get up about 6:30 and put them in the oven. At 7:45 I opened my eyes and realized how late it was. ARGGHHHH!!!!
So, I get up and begin to cook dinner. I throw some spices on the chickens and throw them in the oven. (By the way, I'm not sure I like looking at a whole uncooked chicken. You can almost see him sitting there, feathers, head and all - just waiting to be cooked. It's GROSS!!) Two whole chickens - started at 8pm - you do the math. UGG
Now it's chore nagging time. Someone needs to set the table. Someone needs to take out trash. Someone needs to sweep the floors. Someone is supposed to have a load of clothes done -but they are not yet started. Nag nag nag. I just hate that. But, it's necessary at this point.
Kayla - when I see her (she was in her room a lot last night) is apologizing often. I don't even know what to say to her. She didn't hurt my feelings, she was arrested. Again, no idea how to deal with her.
At one point before dinner - Jonathan and Justin came in the house (they were outside playing basketball). Jonathan was furious with Justin. Long story short, Justin had been taunting him. To see two young men screaming at each other because "you bunny-hexed me" - well.... it's hard not to laugh. But they were really angry with each other. I had to stop them from getting into a real fist fight. Once they calmed down, I sat them down and talked to them. I explained that - with every relationship for the rest of their lives - when they love someone a lot, the emotions are going to be extreme. If you love someone deeply, you can also hurt deeply and get very angry. If you just 'like' someone (like a friend at school), you will get a little angry or a little hurt. I explained to them that - the fact that they were THAT angry with each other showed me how much they really love each other.
I told them that - the other day, after the Guardian Ad Litem came over - she called me at work. She wanted to tell me that she forgot to mention how she felt about Jonathan and Justin. She said "it's in the little things" you notice. She noticed that Jonathan asked Justin if he was hungry. Justin said yes. (The Guardian lady was talking to them in the living room so Justin couldn't really get up) Jonathan returned a short while later with cinnamon toast. She thought that it was very sweet and thoughtful of Jonathan, and she could really tell they were getting along well. (Darn good thing she didn't see them last night!)
During our long talk last night we discussed how it really wasn't about a 'bunny-hex', but it was about knowing when to stop. That it didn't matter what the arguement was about - when you see someone you care for is getting upset over something you are saying or doing, even if what you are doing or saying is well-intended, you need to stop it. Well... anyways... after a long talk, they got up and hugged each other.
I wish that topped off my night - but of course - it didn't. Kayla was in her bedroom and Chris walked in to check on her. She was on the phone. (now, remember, she's on restriciton from phones/internet/computer/friends coming over or her going out) Chris asked who she was talking to - she said her mom. Chris had a feeling she was lying (jeez... I wonder why?) - so he asked to talk to her. Kayla handed the phone over - she was on the phone with her new boyfriend, Elmo. Can I just get 24 hours here with no rule-breaking? Come on Kayla!!!
Dinner is ready at 9:45pm. Uggg... late, so late. But, it's dinner. The chicken was yummy! Mashed potatoes. No veggies - which is a funny story. The best mother-in-law in the whole wide world (mine) brought over all this food, including canned veggies. Now, I'm really trying to make the kids good meals - before they moved in with me, they didn't sit down together to eat, and they rarely had home-cooked meals. So veggies really round out the meals. The day after we get all the canned goods, sure enough, our can opener breaks. You may think, big deal - get another. Well, we looked at Walmart and didn't find one (I'm sure they were there, we just didn't see them) - PLUS - this is our first can opener we ever got as a couple. Nearly 20 years ago. It's kind of sad. So... I looked at the canned veggies with a bit of remorse and thought - none tonight! *Mental note - buy a new can opener!*
So, dinner is over by 10ish. The kids clean up and go to bed. Whewwwwwww - what a night!
I got up this morning and have extreme pain in my neck. Apparently I slept wrong. Good lord it hurts. Wish I were home.... but I just love my job and it's a pleasure to work here. Then again, 4 Advil and a pillow sound pretty good. ARGHHHH
I just want to take a moment again to thank all of you for your love and support. The food, the clothes, the support, the love -- it's just all wonderful. Thank you for being a part of God's plan.
I love you all.
Monday, February 20, 2006
Follow-up
Many of you have called asking for an update on Kayla and what happened last night. Here goes...
I picked her up around Midnight. Her words to me when I asked her in the car what happened were "It was all a big misunderstanding". Yeah.... rrrrrright. We didn't talk at all the remainder of the ride home because I knew that Chris and I needed to talk to her together to help get her out of her obvious 'denial'.
When we got home, Chris and I both talked with her at length. I won't go into what lies she told or anything like that, I'll just say that - in the end - she admitted what she did steal it just because she 'wanted it' and is willing to do what she needs to do to change.
As to the charges, she will need to write a letter to the store she stole from, she will not be allowed in that mall for another 6 months (as if we'd let her go anyways!), and she may have community service she'll need to do.
We are trying to get her in to see a psychiatrist as well. I know there are many issues she is dealing with and she needs real help to get past them. Please, pray for her. I don't mean this to be mean... but... I really don't want her to end up like her mom. Pray that she'll find her way through the darkness and that she will realize God's grace.
As to how I'm doing - I'm exhausted. It was such a late night last night and today has been filled with 'the aftermath' of phone calls from every State person involved in the care. I want to go home and take a nap after work, but feeding a family of 7 won't allow that to happen. It'll be homework nagging from 5 to 7 (did you do your homework? do you need help? where is your planner? when is this due? etc. etc) then dinner from 7-8 or so, followed by chore nagging until bedtime. Not to mention I'm sure there will be an uncomfortable feeling in the house from what happend last night with Kayla. Kayte and Justin are very upset with her for being so 'stupid' and they are angry that her mistakes, should she continue to make them, could end up leading all of them into foster care. Of course, counting my blessing, I am very thankful that we have no worries about what to cook for dinner as there are so many options at home right now, thanks the the generousity of my loving family. :o)
I just got a call from the kids school. I can meet with all of the teachers at one time, but it has to be tomorrow or Wednesday at 8:30 or 2:30. *sigh* Those times mean I can't get coverage for me here at the office so I'll have to shut down the office for an hour or so while I'm gone. Which means, getting permission to do so from my boss. He is SUCH an amazing man, I just hate asking things like this when he's so great already.
Speaking of Wednesday - that's Jonathan's birthday! He'll be 13, can you believe it?? We have Church at 7pm which we have to go to as we've been going to membership classes for months and this is the night they introduce us as new members to the church. I really wish I knew of something special I could do for him. Evie, Jimmie, Katie, Tony, Mom - if you guys want to come up to the Church with us - it's at 7pm. Afterwards I think we'll all go grab some dinner somewhere to celebrate. I just wish I could move mountains for this little guy who has been simply amazing through everything with this cousins moving in. But - maybe his family members showing their support for him at the Church is what God had in mind? I've already talked to the pastor and told him we were leaving right after the introductions to take the birthday boy to dinner. Let me know, okay?
I suppose I should run. I love you all and will post again as soon as something exciting happens. (you know.... shortly) HA!
I picked her up around Midnight. Her words to me when I asked her in the car what happened were "It was all a big misunderstanding". Yeah.... rrrrrright. We didn't talk at all the remainder of the ride home because I knew that Chris and I needed to talk to her together to help get her out of her obvious 'denial'.
When we got home, Chris and I both talked with her at length. I won't go into what lies she told or anything like that, I'll just say that - in the end - she admitted what she did steal it just because she 'wanted it' and is willing to do what she needs to do to change.
As to the charges, she will need to write a letter to the store she stole from, she will not be allowed in that mall for another 6 months (as if we'd let her go anyways!), and she may have community service she'll need to do.
We are trying to get her in to see a psychiatrist as well. I know there are many issues she is dealing with and she needs real help to get past them. Please, pray for her. I don't mean this to be mean... but... I really don't want her to end up like her mom. Pray that she'll find her way through the darkness and that she will realize God's grace.
As to how I'm doing - I'm exhausted. It was such a late night last night and today has been filled with 'the aftermath' of phone calls from every State person involved in the care. I want to go home and take a nap after work, but feeding a family of 7 won't allow that to happen. It'll be homework nagging from 5 to 7 (did you do your homework? do you need help? where is your planner? when is this due? etc. etc) then dinner from 7-8 or so, followed by chore nagging until bedtime. Not to mention I'm sure there will be an uncomfortable feeling in the house from what happend last night with Kayla. Kayte and Justin are very upset with her for being so 'stupid' and they are angry that her mistakes, should she continue to make them, could end up leading all of them into foster care. Of course, counting my blessing, I am very thankful that we have no worries about what to cook for dinner as there are so many options at home right now, thanks the the generousity of my loving family. :o)
I just got a call from the kids school. I can meet with all of the teachers at one time, but it has to be tomorrow or Wednesday at 8:30 or 2:30. *sigh* Those times mean I can't get coverage for me here at the office so I'll have to shut down the office for an hour or so while I'm gone. Which means, getting permission to do so from my boss. He is SUCH an amazing man, I just hate asking things like this when he's so great already.
Speaking of Wednesday - that's Jonathan's birthday! He'll be 13, can you believe it?? We have Church at 7pm which we have to go to as we've been going to membership classes for months and this is the night they introduce us as new members to the church. I really wish I knew of something special I could do for him. Evie, Jimmie, Katie, Tony, Mom - if you guys want to come up to the Church with us - it's at 7pm. Afterwards I think we'll all go grab some dinner somewhere to celebrate. I just wish I could move mountains for this little guy who has been simply amazing through everything with this cousins moving in. But - maybe his family members showing their support for him at the Church is what God had in mind? I've already talked to the pastor and told him we were leaving right after the introductions to take the birthday boy to dinner. Let me know, okay?
I suppose I should run. I love you all and will post again as soon as something exciting happens. (you know.... shortly) HA!
Sunday, February 19, 2006
The Arrest
I started this blog because it seemed like every day something new happened. To be honest, I somewhat hoped that as I journaled my days I would see that it really wasn't all that bad. So far, I'm proving that wrong.
The day started great - Tatiana had a beautiful baptism - we were all there together. And, I'm proud to say we managed to get all 4 teens showered, dressed and ready to go - and were at the church by 9:30 as requested. Woo hoo! Julie being there was kind of weird. At Katie's house she pulled the kids into Katie's bedroom privately (which of course she's not allowed to do, I have to be there to supervise - so I invited myself and joined them). She just layed in Katie's bed and tried to cuddle with the kids as if they were babies. The kids didn't want to do it, but Julie somehow seemed to 'need' it. It's funny... I realized at that time that Julie being with her kids is not because the kids need her - it's because of Julie's needs.
Before I get into the 'arrest' I want to tell you a quick story that I forgot to blog from the other day. When the Guardian Ad Litem was here, we talked about how much the kids hate to read. I've had them read things to me aloud and - they are not good readers at all. While at the store the other day I saw some Judy Blume books. When Julie and I were kids, we used to read those books -- and LOVED them. Even Julie who hated reading and really hated anything about school - she too loved Judy Blume's books. So, I though - worth a try! Chris and I talked about the fact that they were 'easy reading' books, but - I'm not trying to challenge them. I want them to pick up a book and enjoy reading it. I think that might happen with these books. So we bought a few. I'll follow up on this story later when I see how the kids do.
Okay, on to the arrest. Are you sitting down?? After the baptism, Justin stayed with Katie to help clean up, and we dropped Jonathan off at his Quartet practice. We brought the two girls home. Chris and I were then going to run to Lowes to buy some stuff for the bathroom that we need to get started on. (Again, by "we" I really do mean my incredibly handsome, talented and handy-man husband, Chris) The girls asked if we could drop them off at the mall while we went to Lowes to shop, then pick them up after we were done at Lowes. Now... that was a very reasonable request as we have to drive right by the mall - so we agreed. Kayla brought her little backpack with her - she said she was using it as a 'purse'. What's odd about that is that Chris had a gut feeling when he dropped them off and he actually told Kayla not to shoplift - but not in those words. He said "what's in your backpack"? She said just makeup. He told her to make sure there was only makeup in there when we picked them up. We gave them $20 so they'd have some money, left my cellphone with them and we left.
We knew we wouldn't be long - just had to get a tub and pick out some tiles for the floor and walls. While shopping, the phone rang - it was Kayte. Chris saw who it was and said to me "Kayla got caught shoplifting". He answered the phone, and he was right. *heavy sigh* Here's what happened.
The girls were in this one store called "The Icing" - they sell all kinds of girlie-girl stuff. From hair stuff to purses, earrings to shoes. Kayte was in there with a friend from school, Kayla was alone in a corner. Kayla began putting hair barettes belonging to the store in her hair then took them out and stuffed them in her bra. Here's the kicker - the stupid things were only worth $3. They were, of course, watching her - and she was caught walking out. They called security, security called the police.
Here's where it gets hard because I was just told that Julie never told Gwen what happened before. This is not the first time Kayla has stolen things. She's stolen from family and friends plenty of times. And, she was caught shoplifting in a store once as well, taken to Juvie and booked. Regretfully the store later dropped the charges. I'm sorry Gwen, I don't know why Julie didn't tell you. I don't really know why Kayla does it, but we have talked about it at length. Her first day here, she had stolen some expensive hair gloss from Katie's house (she was staying there before she came here). We confronted her about it and she denied it for a long time. But it was so incredibly obvious she was lying. She just kept making up new lies, but they were transparent. Eventually she told the truth. She told me that she doesn't know why she lies and doesn't know why she takes things, she just does it. No doubt she needs help.
I am now waiting for a phone call from the police to tell me what they are going to do with her. Because it was her second offense, they immediately took her to Juvie. I keep thinking "what am I going to do with her when she gets home", and - I really don't know the answer to that. I've never dealt with this before. I mean, the fact that she just 'does it'.... I don't know how to help her. Kayte told me that she felt the only way to get Kayla to change was for her to feel she may go to prison for a long time if she ever does it again. Who knows....
Julie has called no less than 6 times since this happened. She 'feels bad', 'feels sad' and 'doesn't know what to do'. Okay, so when did this become about Julie? Yeah Julie, I really have time to think about how you are feeling right now. Jeez!
I'm supposed to have a conference tomorrow morning at the school about Justin and Kayte's grades with one of their teachers - but I'm going to cancel that. I suppose it would be impossible for me to get all the teachers in a room at one time to go over all 4 kids, huh. Now, on top of the State visits, my personal counselor visits, school conference visits, dentist visits, psychiatric visits (they will be going shortly), I now need to schedule some time off work for the court visits we'll need to make for Kayla. Grrrrreat.
Okay - funny thing just happened. Kayte came in here and wanted to know what I was doing. She's still on restriction so she can't be on the computer or the phone. I said, "why don't you go read that book I bought for you" (the Judy Blume book). She said, "good idea! I think I'll go read a book." She then said... "whoa.... that is something I have never said before!" I just laughed and laughed.
Thank you again for those who have given to us for these kids. Evie, Mom, Katie, and anyone who has us in their thoughts and prayers. Keep it coming... the prayers I mean... pray that Kayla will find her way.
I'll send a follow-up after I hear from the police. It might be tomorrow depending on how late it is tonight.
Love you all... Tina
The day started great - Tatiana had a beautiful baptism - we were all there together. And, I'm proud to say we managed to get all 4 teens showered, dressed and ready to go - and were at the church by 9:30 as requested. Woo hoo! Julie being there was kind of weird. At Katie's house she pulled the kids into Katie's bedroom privately (which of course she's not allowed to do, I have to be there to supervise - so I invited myself and joined them). She just layed in Katie's bed and tried to cuddle with the kids as if they were babies. The kids didn't want to do it, but Julie somehow seemed to 'need' it. It's funny... I realized at that time that Julie being with her kids is not because the kids need her - it's because of Julie's needs.
Before I get into the 'arrest' I want to tell you a quick story that I forgot to blog from the other day. When the Guardian Ad Litem was here, we talked about how much the kids hate to read. I've had them read things to me aloud and - they are not good readers at all. While at the store the other day I saw some Judy Blume books. When Julie and I were kids, we used to read those books -- and LOVED them. Even Julie who hated reading and really hated anything about school - she too loved Judy Blume's books. So, I though - worth a try! Chris and I talked about the fact that they were 'easy reading' books, but - I'm not trying to challenge them. I want them to pick up a book and enjoy reading it. I think that might happen with these books. So we bought a few. I'll follow up on this story later when I see how the kids do.
Okay, on to the arrest. Are you sitting down?? After the baptism, Justin stayed with Katie to help clean up, and we dropped Jonathan off at his Quartet practice. We brought the two girls home. Chris and I were then going to run to Lowes to buy some stuff for the bathroom that we need to get started on. (Again, by "we" I really do mean my incredibly handsome, talented and handy-man husband, Chris) The girls asked if we could drop them off at the mall while we went to Lowes to shop, then pick them up after we were done at Lowes. Now... that was a very reasonable request as we have to drive right by the mall - so we agreed. Kayla brought her little backpack with her - she said she was using it as a 'purse'. What's odd about that is that Chris had a gut feeling when he dropped them off and he actually told Kayla not to shoplift - but not in those words. He said "what's in your backpack"? She said just makeup. He told her to make sure there was only makeup in there when we picked them up. We gave them $20 so they'd have some money, left my cellphone with them and we left.
We knew we wouldn't be long - just had to get a tub and pick out some tiles for the floor and walls. While shopping, the phone rang - it was Kayte. Chris saw who it was and said to me "Kayla got caught shoplifting". He answered the phone, and he was right. *heavy sigh* Here's what happened.
The girls were in this one store called "The Icing" - they sell all kinds of girlie-girl stuff. From hair stuff to purses, earrings to shoes. Kayte was in there with a friend from school, Kayla was alone in a corner. Kayla began putting hair barettes belonging to the store in her hair then took them out and stuffed them in her bra. Here's the kicker - the stupid things were only worth $3. They were, of course, watching her - and she was caught walking out. They called security, security called the police.
Here's where it gets hard because I was just told that Julie never told Gwen what happened before. This is not the first time Kayla has stolen things. She's stolen from family and friends plenty of times. And, she was caught shoplifting in a store once as well, taken to Juvie and booked. Regretfully the store later dropped the charges. I'm sorry Gwen, I don't know why Julie didn't tell you. I don't really know why Kayla does it, but we have talked about it at length. Her first day here, she had stolen some expensive hair gloss from Katie's house (she was staying there before she came here). We confronted her about it and she denied it for a long time. But it was so incredibly obvious she was lying. She just kept making up new lies, but they were transparent. Eventually she told the truth. She told me that she doesn't know why she lies and doesn't know why she takes things, she just does it. No doubt she needs help.
I am now waiting for a phone call from the police to tell me what they are going to do with her. Because it was her second offense, they immediately took her to Juvie. I keep thinking "what am I going to do with her when she gets home", and - I really don't know the answer to that. I've never dealt with this before. I mean, the fact that she just 'does it'.... I don't know how to help her. Kayte told me that she felt the only way to get Kayla to change was for her to feel she may go to prison for a long time if she ever does it again. Who knows....
Julie has called no less than 6 times since this happened. She 'feels bad', 'feels sad' and 'doesn't know what to do'. Okay, so when did this become about Julie? Yeah Julie, I really have time to think about how you are feeling right now. Jeez!
I'm supposed to have a conference tomorrow morning at the school about Justin and Kayte's grades with one of their teachers - but I'm going to cancel that. I suppose it would be impossible for me to get all the teachers in a room at one time to go over all 4 kids, huh. Now, on top of the State visits, my personal counselor visits, school conference visits, dentist visits, psychiatric visits (they will be going shortly), I now need to schedule some time off work for the court visits we'll need to make for Kayla. Grrrrreat.
Okay - funny thing just happened. Kayte came in here and wanted to know what I was doing. She's still on restriction so she can't be on the computer or the phone. I said, "why don't you go read that book I bought for you" (the Judy Blume book). She said, "good idea! I think I'll go read a book." She then said... "whoa.... that is something I have never said before!" I just laughed and laughed.
Thank you again for those who have given to us for these kids. Evie, Mom, Katie, and anyone who has us in their thoughts and prayers. Keep it coming... the prayers I mean... pray that Kayla will find her way.
I'll send a follow-up after I hear from the police. It might be tomorrow depending on how late it is tonight.
Love you all... Tina
Saturday, February 18, 2006
The Quiet Storm
Another appointment this morning - The kids got to meet the woman who was assigned to them as their Guardian Ad Litem - the one person through the court system that is only responsible for looking out for them. She seemed very nice and sincere. She really liked Chris and I and told me several times how happy she was that the kids were with us. (She met with Julie yesterday)
So a quiet day at home today. While the Guardian was here, Evie stopped by - she went shopping at SAMS for us! Holy CAJOLIE she brought a lot of food. Thank you so much Evie and Jimmie - thank you. Chris and I then went to the store to pick up a couple of things, came home and relaxed out back with the kids a bit. Then the kids went to the park - ahh... peace and quiet for a whole 3 hours. What did Chris and I do?? Sleep... can you believe it? We took a nap! We must be getting old! HA!
Kayte and Kayla are on my last nerve at the moment. Their friend is here - Amanda. She is the one who went with them to the mall when they lied all night about who and where they were going. Earlier they asked if they could go with Amanda to the State Fair tomorrow, I explained it was Tatiana's baptism tomorrow, so, no they could not. Not happy campers. Then tonight they ask if they can go to the movies with Amanda. Although I might not object to them going to the movies in the afternoon, I am not confident enough in their ability to stay out of trouble enough to agree with them going this late at night. Plus, the baptism tomorrow - don't want any excuses to be late to that. But the biggest reason, we just don't trust them enough to let them out late at night. And, they are visably pissed. Kayte even had the balls to call me back into the room after being told 'no' to tell me that "last weekend I told her that she could go to the movies next weekend". (Calling in her chips so to speak) I said... "Kayte, are you asking me a question"? "No", she says, "just reminding you". I said, "didn't Uncle Chris and I already tell you no"? "Yes" she says. "So, what are you doing?" I again ask. I knew damn well what she was doing, but she wasn't going to play any sweet and innocent games with me. Good lord I'm pissed.
Maybe a change of subject will help. So, have I given you an update on the bathroom? It's a big hole of a room right now. Chris and I hope to go to pick out some tile soon. It's such a blessing that he is able to do this kind of thing!
Oh, and also a special thanks to Mom who also picked up some food and sent a note to her friends asking if they had anything as well. Plus "holler" to Katie who is going to take them to get some school uniforms on Tuesday. I believe Evie also said some women in her Church were going to come together to get a gift certificate. Do you see it??? Do you see the Lord working????? Yes, God is good, and you are all a part of His plan. Thank you all very very very much. *breathe in, breathe out* I do feel a little better now.
Today is Doug's 71st birthday. Chris and I are going to get him the food he wanted (bringing it back to the house). I better sign off to go take care of that. I love you all!
So a quiet day at home today. While the Guardian was here, Evie stopped by - she went shopping at SAMS for us! Holy CAJOLIE she brought a lot of food. Thank you so much Evie and Jimmie - thank you. Chris and I then went to the store to pick up a couple of things, came home and relaxed out back with the kids a bit. Then the kids went to the park - ahh... peace and quiet for a whole 3 hours. What did Chris and I do?? Sleep... can you believe it? We took a nap! We must be getting old! HA!
Kayte and Kayla are on my last nerve at the moment. Their friend is here - Amanda. She is the one who went with them to the mall when they lied all night about who and where they were going. Earlier they asked if they could go with Amanda to the State Fair tomorrow, I explained it was Tatiana's baptism tomorrow, so, no they could not. Not happy campers. Then tonight they ask if they can go to the movies with Amanda. Although I might not object to them going to the movies in the afternoon, I am not confident enough in their ability to stay out of trouble enough to agree with them going this late at night. Plus, the baptism tomorrow - don't want any excuses to be late to that. But the biggest reason, we just don't trust them enough to let them out late at night. And, they are visably pissed. Kayte even had the balls to call me back into the room after being told 'no' to tell me that "last weekend I told her that she could go to the movies next weekend". (Calling in her chips so to speak) I said... "Kayte, are you asking me a question"? "No", she says, "just reminding you". I said, "didn't Uncle Chris and I already tell you no"? "Yes" she says. "So, what are you doing?" I again ask. I knew damn well what she was doing, but she wasn't going to play any sweet and innocent games with me. Good lord I'm pissed.
Maybe a change of subject will help. So, have I given you an update on the bathroom? It's a big hole of a room right now. Chris and I hope to go to pick out some tile soon. It's such a blessing that he is able to do this kind of thing!
Oh, and also a special thanks to Mom who also picked up some food and sent a note to her friends asking if they had anything as well. Plus "holler" to Katie who is going to take them to get some school uniforms on Tuesday. I believe Evie also said some women in her Church were going to come together to get a gift certificate. Do you see it??? Do you see the Lord working????? Yes, God is good, and you are all a part of His plan. Thank you all very very very much. *breathe in, breathe out* I do feel a little better now.
Today is Doug's 71st birthday. Chris and I are going to get him the food he wanted (bringing it back to the house). I better sign off to go take care of that. I love you all!
Friday, February 17, 2006
Top 5 List
Many of you have asked "what can I do?". I know you all know me... if you call and ask me that I'm going to smile and say "aww thanks, but we're fine". Plus it's hard to think about things off the top of your head when talking to you face-to-face or in person. So, I've thought about it and I'm going to create and update (as needed) a "Top 5 List" which will list the top 5 things we'd love to have help with. However, by saying this, please don't think I want you to run right out and knock something off the list - but, if you happen to run across something on our list - it would be great. An example is last weekend, mom was over a friends house. The friend was cleaning out her pantry and going to bring food to a food bank - mom said, "I know just who could use it" - and so she brought it over to us. That was awesome and highly appreciated. So... here goes.....
1) Food - food - food. You can't possibly imagine how much food 4 growing teenagers can put away. We buy a gallon of milk every other day - and I told you how I bought a loaf of bread and in one day it was gone. It's true - they eat that much. And you all know these kids, they ain't fat or anything, they're just growing. We'd be happy to take stuff you may have that you're not using that you think we could use, or even gift certificates (Walmart, Publix, etc)
2) Hair product. Yep, they use a ton of it. From hair gel, mousse, conditioner, shampoo, and hairspray. And trust me, it gets expensive after a while.
3) Time alone. Maybe taking the kids one afternoon out so Chris and I can just sit and enjoy the silence. Or, so that Chris and I can spend some time with Jono.
4) School Uniforms. We bought the kids each 2 uniforms. They could always use a few more uniform tops and/or khaki pants/capris. There are Ben Hill uniform shirts that can be purchased up at the Bealls north of our house (the kids have no actual Ben Hill shirts, and I know they'd like to have some), or they can get normal blue, burgandy or white 3-button polos from anywhere.
5) Support. If nothing else, just knowing that you think Chris and I are doing a good thing by helping the kids means a ton to us. So, drop us a comment here, or drop us an email, or give us a call. It means the world. You could also support the kids too - they are totally out of their element at our house - so - maybe calling them and telling them that you heard they were doing better in school, or you want them to know that you are there for them if they need to talk. I want to really surround them with love and support - in a good and heathy way.
Like I said, I'll update as-needed - but these are the things I can think of off the top of my head now. Thanks again for all of your love and support.
1) Food - food - food. You can't possibly imagine how much food 4 growing teenagers can put away. We buy a gallon of milk every other day - and I told you how I bought a loaf of bread and in one day it was gone. It's true - they eat that much. And you all know these kids, they ain't fat or anything, they're just growing. We'd be happy to take stuff you may have that you're not using that you think we could use, or even gift certificates (Walmart, Publix, etc)
2) Hair product. Yep, they use a ton of it. From hair gel, mousse, conditioner, shampoo, and hairspray. And trust me, it gets expensive after a while.
3) Time alone. Maybe taking the kids one afternoon out so Chris and I can just sit and enjoy the silence. Or, so that Chris and I can spend some time with Jono.
4) School Uniforms. We bought the kids each 2 uniforms. They could always use a few more uniform tops and/or khaki pants/capris. There are Ben Hill uniform shirts that can be purchased up at the Bealls north of our house (the kids have no actual Ben Hill shirts, and I know they'd like to have some), or they can get normal blue, burgandy or white 3-button polos from anywhere.
5) Support. If nothing else, just knowing that you think Chris and I are doing a good thing by helping the kids means a ton to us. So, drop us a comment here, or drop us an email, or give us a call. It means the world. You could also support the kids too - they are totally out of their element at our house - so - maybe calling them and telling them that you heard they were doing better in school, or you want them to know that you are there for them if they need to talk. I want to really surround them with love and support - in a good and heathy way.
Like I said, I'll update as-needed - but these are the things I can think of off the top of my head now. Thanks again for all of your love and support.
Holy Therapist, Batman!
Well.... I didn't even want to sit down last night after the visit to journal what I witnessed at Julie's therapist's office. I couldn't... I needed time to soak it all in. Where do I start?.....
I suppose the biggest thing I got out of last night's session is that Julie has no concept of morals, ethics or values. Now, those of you who know Julie might think she knows what they are, but she just can't 'define' them. I'm here to tell you that... she has no concept of it what-so-ever. At all. Zero. Zilch. Zippo. And, it's not that she's just 'bucking the system', doing whatever she wants to do because she feels in her heart that it is the right thing to do - she just has no ethics/morals/values at all. And, tragically, from what I could see, it goes way way back into her childhood. How to begin to explain...
Julie justifies anything that she does by pointing out that others have done it. Her kids can stay out all hours of the night and day because others do it. Kayla is okay to have a baby because others have had babies at her age - or - she's better than some because she'd be older than others were who had babies at a young age. She also kept saying that things were okay to be done because they were not "illegal" - Kayla getting pregnant, not illegal. Out at 3am walking the streets, not illegal. Listening to blaring music that starts off "Papa Smurf can I lick your ass? Yeah, lick my ass bitch" -- AND goes downhill from there -- is okay because it's not illegal. It's okay for her to kick Kayla out of her life and have her emancipated because 1) it's not illegal and 2) she was kicked out of the house at 18 so it must be okay. It's okay for her 14 year old to have a tattoo of Tigger flipping you off (the tattoo must be a foot long) and for her to take her 12yo in for a tattoo as well (same size, same area) because "bikers take their kids at the age of 2 in for tattoos". Now, I've never seen a 2 year old with a real tattoo, but maybe she has? I doubt it - plus I'm certain there would be some abuse charges for putting a 2 year old through getting a tattoo. But Julie is certain that 2 year olds have them. Then she explains away her illegal activites citing "yes, it's illegal, but I don't do it a lot" or "Other people do it too and they have their kids".
I'm going to say it again... I've never witnessed anything so horrible in my life as that visit was last night. As soon as the doctor or I said anything she didn't want to hear, it was like a lightswitch turning off, she just - shut down and didn't listen anymore. And it's not like you ask her if she's paying attention because you think maybe she's not listening. You can clearly see she has shut you off. He was talking very very serious stuff about her losing her kids forever, and her biggest concern was "watch me blow this bubble (with her bubblegum) and see how big I can get it". Totally clueless. Tragic.
When the Doctor and I both told Julie that we have been told by multiple sources that "there's a good chance she will never be able to get the kids back" she went nuts. She wasn't upset about not getting the kids - she was upset that she got a different story from them when she talked to them. However, from what I saw last night, it's clearly possible that she payed attention to the good stuff they were telling her and that she 'shut down' when they mentioned anything bad. Her immediate reaction was to call Karen and ask what was going on. The doctor told her that was the wrong thing to do. That she needed to sit and listen, not react with anger. But Julie just kept reaching for the phone, and he kept taking it from her. It was like watching a child with their favorite toy and the dad saying "not now".
Oh, and Julie told us that Karen 'gave her permission' to change Psychiatrists if she wanted to. What Karen doesn't know is that Julie has been 'fired' from all of her Psychiatrists, even Vijapurri has fired her before. Julie is a non-compliant patient. She does whatever she wants to do and no psychaitrist wants to be held liable for that. So, they give her 30 days to find someone else. Encourgaing her to change doctors at this point in the game, I feel, is the wrong thing to do.
When we were done, the doctor told me alone that Karen told him that Julie had a 99% chance of never seeing her kids again. He also told me some other stuff about the kids, but I'll elaborate on that at another time. He wants to meet with me privately, and I'm more than willing to do that. I can clearly see how the kids bad decision making came from their mom. I know... I know... surely I must have known that before, but - I'm telling you, I've never seen anything like last night. I want to do everything I can to try to not let this happen to these kids when they are older.
Oh, and you'll love this one. Julie called me on my way home. I thought it was going to be to yell at me for everything that was said/done at the doctors office. Or maybe to confront me about what exactly the case workers have told me. But no..... she wanted to know if I could pay her March mortgage payment early (before she pays me the money for me to be able to pay it). Here's the deal on the mortgage payment. Julie was freaking because 'she didn't have enough to eat and pay her bills'. I get the kids social security money only. No other assistance from the State or anybody else. Julie gets her social security money and Ron's VA benefits (the VA - for whatever reason - will not give me the kids portion of what they are due). But, I want to make sure that Julie at least has a roof over her head. The first of every month, she pays me $900 and with that money, I pay her $888.mortgage. Now, you remember from yesterday's blog that I am behind in my own mortgage. And, Julie wants me to take MY money and pay HER mortgage early? Further... this was what she wanted to talk to me about????
She is a little kid living in this adult body. I'm here to tell you now that - if Julie was on trial for doing something horrible - and any normal adult had witnessed what I witnessed last night - she would not be able to stand trial. She has a twisted concept of right and wrong and she's totally messed up psychologically.
One last thing - I got another note from a teacher who wants a conference with us on Monday. Lovely. So, 8:30 am on Monday morning, we'll be at the school. This one is for Justin and Kayla. Justin got in trouble because in one of his classes he hasn't fixed up his notebook - and - the notebook is 35% of his overall grade (grade is a low C at the moment). Now... I don't like the low C, but, how should keeping a notebook clean represent 35% of his overall grade? Yes, neatness and organization is important, but worth 35%???? Oye! Also, on a kid update note, Kayla says she is doing much better - that she has not gotten in trouble for talking 2 days in a row. Yeah! I told her to ask her teachers to call me to tell me that, I'd love to get a 'good phone call'. HA!
Okay, I better run, this blog is way too long and they day really hasn't started yet....
I suppose the biggest thing I got out of last night's session is that Julie has no concept of morals, ethics or values. Now, those of you who know Julie might think she knows what they are, but she just can't 'define' them. I'm here to tell you that... she has no concept of it what-so-ever. At all. Zero. Zilch. Zippo. And, it's not that she's just 'bucking the system', doing whatever she wants to do because she feels in her heart that it is the right thing to do - she just has no ethics/morals/values at all. And, tragically, from what I could see, it goes way way back into her childhood. How to begin to explain...
Julie justifies anything that she does by pointing out that others have done it. Her kids can stay out all hours of the night and day because others do it. Kayla is okay to have a baby because others have had babies at her age - or - she's better than some because she'd be older than others were who had babies at a young age. She also kept saying that things were okay to be done because they were not "illegal" - Kayla getting pregnant, not illegal. Out at 3am walking the streets, not illegal. Listening to blaring music that starts off "Papa Smurf can I lick your ass? Yeah, lick my ass bitch" -- AND goes downhill from there -- is okay because it's not illegal. It's okay for her to kick Kayla out of her life and have her emancipated because 1) it's not illegal and 2) she was kicked out of the house at 18 so it must be okay. It's okay for her 14 year old to have a tattoo of Tigger flipping you off (the tattoo must be a foot long) and for her to take her 12yo in for a tattoo as well (same size, same area) because "bikers take their kids at the age of 2 in for tattoos". Now, I've never seen a 2 year old with a real tattoo, but maybe she has? I doubt it - plus I'm certain there would be some abuse charges for putting a 2 year old through getting a tattoo. But Julie is certain that 2 year olds have them. Then she explains away her illegal activites citing "yes, it's illegal, but I don't do it a lot" or "Other people do it too and they have their kids".
I'm going to say it again... I've never witnessed anything so horrible in my life as that visit was last night. As soon as the doctor or I said anything she didn't want to hear, it was like a lightswitch turning off, she just - shut down and didn't listen anymore. And it's not like you ask her if she's paying attention because you think maybe she's not listening. You can clearly see she has shut you off. He was talking very very serious stuff about her losing her kids forever, and her biggest concern was "watch me blow this bubble (with her bubblegum) and see how big I can get it". Totally clueless. Tragic.
When the Doctor and I both told Julie that we have been told by multiple sources that "there's a good chance she will never be able to get the kids back" she went nuts. She wasn't upset about not getting the kids - she was upset that she got a different story from them when she talked to them. However, from what I saw last night, it's clearly possible that she payed attention to the good stuff they were telling her and that she 'shut down' when they mentioned anything bad. Her immediate reaction was to call Karen and ask what was going on. The doctor told her that was the wrong thing to do. That she needed to sit and listen, not react with anger. But Julie just kept reaching for the phone, and he kept taking it from her. It was like watching a child with their favorite toy and the dad saying "not now".
Oh, and Julie told us that Karen 'gave her permission' to change Psychiatrists if she wanted to. What Karen doesn't know is that Julie has been 'fired' from all of her Psychiatrists, even Vijapurri has fired her before. Julie is a non-compliant patient. She does whatever she wants to do and no psychaitrist wants to be held liable for that. So, they give her 30 days to find someone else. Encourgaing her to change doctors at this point in the game, I feel, is the wrong thing to do.
When we were done, the doctor told me alone that Karen told him that Julie had a 99% chance of never seeing her kids again. He also told me some other stuff about the kids, but I'll elaborate on that at another time. He wants to meet with me privately, and I'm more than willing to do that. I can clearly see how the kids bad decision making came from their mom. I know... I know... surely I must have known that before, but - I'm telling you, I've never seen anything like last night. I want to do everything I can to try to not let this happen to these kids when they are older.
Oh, and you'll love this one. Julie called me on my way home. I thought it was going to be to yell at me for everything that was said/done at the doctors office. Or maybe to confront me about what exactly the case workers have told me. But no..... she wanted to know if I could pay her March mortgage payment early (before she pays me the money for me to be able to pay it). Here's the deal on the mortgage payment. Julie was freaking because 'she didn't have enough to eat and pay her bills'. I get the kids social security money only. No other assistance from the State or anybody else. Julie gets her social security money and Ron's VA benefits (the VA - for whatever reason - will not give me the kids portion of what they are due). But, I want to make sure that Julie at least has a roof over her head. The first of every month, she pays me $900 and with that money, I pay her $888.mortgage. Now, you remember from yesterday's blog that I am behind in my own mortgage. And, Julie wants me to take MY money and pay HER mortgage early? Further... this was what she wanted to talk to me about????
She is a little kid living in this adult body. I'm here to tell you now that - if Julie was on trial for doing something horrible - and any normal adult had witnessed what I witnessed last night - she would not be able to stand trial. She has a twisted concept of right and wrong and she's totally messed up psychologically.
One last thing - I got another note from a teacher who wants a conference with us on Monday. Lovely. So, 8:30 am on Monday morning, we'll be at the school. This one is for Justin and Kayla. Justin got in trouble because in one of his classes he hasn't fixed up his notebook - and - the notebook is 35% of his overall grade (grade is a low C at the moment). Now... I don't like the low C, but, how should keeping a notebook clean represent 35% of his overall grade? Yes, neatness and organization is important, but worth 35%???? Oye! Also, on a kid update note, Kayla says she is doing much better - that she has not gotten in trouble for talking 2 days in a row. Yeah! I told her to ask her teachers to call me to tell me that, I'd love to get a 'good phone call'. HA!
Okay, I better run, this blog is way too long and they day really hasn't started yet....
Thursday, February 16, 2006
As The World Turns...
Well, instead of a phone call from the school today, I got an email. I just knew it had to be something - that I couldn't go two days without hearing from a teacher. *heavy sigh* This time it was about Justin. Kayla and Justin both had to do an AR Book Report. Kayla did hers (although admittedly did not read the book) and Jutin just didn't turn one in. She said that it was so easy to do that she will not take it late. So... Justin has another zero. Grrrreat. Mind you - if everyone completely filled out their planners like they were supposed to, and put their planners on the dining room like they were supposed to - this would be a non-issue. If I knew he had to do it, he would do nothing else until it was done. But alas... that perfect world does not exist. We're living in the Cecchinni zone (like a psyco version of the Twilight Zone)
I have yet another State appointment this week. Someone from the Guardian Ad Litem program is coming over on Saturday morning to meet with the kids and I. They are appointed to be the voice of the children... to make sure the kids are okay. Chris was saying last night - "when do we get a guardian appointed to make sure we are okay"? Ah... the wonderful system... gotta love it. I didn't get to post on all the State visits because they happend prior to my posting - but let me just tell you that someone is always coming over or calling as one of the steps in the system. An example is some psychiatric office appointed two ladies (one for Justin/Kayte, one for Kayla) to 'assess' the kids. It started with a 2 hour interview (each lady was 2 hours at least, so that's 4-5 hours). Then they met with the kids - first just observing them playing at home, observing them at school, then talking to them. Hours upon hours. All of this to confirm that - yes - these kids need some help emotionally. Course, that's our tax dollars at work.
I've got to do something about the food costs and other costs at home before it spirals out of control. I think I told you that my water bill went from $60 a month to $120. Weekly food bill (shopping cheap at Walmart) is $200- $300 a week. Julie can't fathom it being that high, but - Julie didn't buy a ton of groceries, she ate out a lot. We have not had fast food once since the kids moved in. I'm still a month behind in the mortgage from the initial crunch when they moved in. Oh, and I just can't wait to see what the electric bill's going to be. I'm sorry about babbling about this here - I just always freak out about these kinds of things. Just - be like Chris - tell me 'it'll be okay, Tina'. I suppose that I really wish we had qualified for food stamps - at least then I'd know I could take care of feeding them. I bought a loaf of bread last night on my way home, this morning, it's gone. The whole thing - gone. A gallon of milk every 2 days. Can you fathom?
Awwww... just got the phone call from Jonathan. His little girlfriend, Lauren - broke up with him. He's been crying all day. She told him she already had another boyfriend (and he wanted to beat up Jono today) - but Justin "had his back". Poor little guy.....
Ooooo... another phone call this time from Amanda. She's been called in for a second interview with the seminary. She said "there was a lot of really hot guys walking around dressed like priests there". Holy cow... could that really be my daughter? Sigh.... maybe God has a special plan for her... hee hee....
I have the big appointment tonight with Dr. Vijapuri - Julie's therapist. Wish me luck! I have been praying all day that I can be honest with him in front of Julie.
I have yet another State appointment this week. Someone from the Guardian Ad Litem program is coming over on Saturday morning to meet with the kids and I. They are appointed to be the voice of the children... to make sure the kids are okay. Chris was saying last night - "when do we get a guardian appointed to make sure we are okay"? Ah... the wonderful system... gotta love it. I didn't get to post on all the State visits because they happend prior to my posting - but let me just tell you that someone is always coming over or calling as one of the steps in the system. An example is some psychiatric office appointed two ladies (one for Justin/Kayte, one for Kayla) to 'assess' the kids. It started with a 2 hour interview (each lady was 2 hours at least, so that's 4-5 hours). Then they met with the kids - first just observing them playing at home, observing them at school, then talking to them. Hours upon hours. All of this to confirm that - yes - these kids need some help emotionally. Course, that's our tax dollars at work.
I've got to do something about the food costs and other costs at home before it spirals out of control. I think I told you that my water bill went from $60 a month to $120. Weekly food bill (shopping cheap at Walmart) is $200- $300 a week. Julie can't fathom it being that high, but - Julie didn't buy a ton of groceries, she ate out a lot. We have not had fast food once since the kids moved in. I'm still a month behind in the mortgage from the initial crunch when they moved in. Oh, and I just can't wait to see what the electric bill's going to be. I'm sorry about babbling about this here - I just always freak out about these kinds of things. Just - be like Chris - tell me 'it'll be okay, Tina'. I suppose that I really wish we had qualified for food stamps - at least then I'd know I could take care of feeding them. I bought a loaf of bread last night on my way home, this morning, it's gone. The whole thing - gone. A gallon of milk every 2 days. Can you fathom?
Awwww... just got the phone call from Jonathan. His little girlfriend, Lauren - broke up with him. He's been crying all day. She told him she already had another boyfriend (and he wanted to beat up Jono today) - but Justin "had his back". Poor little guy.....
Ooooo... another phone call this time from Amanda. She's been called in for a second interview with the seminary. She said "there was a lot of really hot guys walking around dressed like priests there". Holy cow... could that really be my daughter? Sigh.... maybe God has a special plan for her... hee hee....
I have the big appointment tonight with Dr. Vijapuri - Julie's therapist. Wish me luck! I have been praying all day that I can be honest with him in front of Julie.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Quiet Day So Far...
Well, it's been pretty darn quiet today. My bosses are out of the office, so the phones are not ringing off the hook - and (drumroll please) - so far, no calls from the school! Horray!
I guess the most excitement of the day has been trying to get Chris to go and get his foot X-rayed. The man just won't go. I know, I know... not much you can do for a toe really - however - if it's not back in place, it does need to be set. Our marvelous brother-in-law, Tony, said he'd xray it and even set it for him, at St. Joseph's Hospital (for free) - but - Chris refuses to go. I've told him to go, Katie and Tony think he should go, his mom has been telling him to go. But the funniest one to call him was Amanda. Picture this... the phone rings at home, Chris picks it up - it's Amanda. Amanda says "Dad, when you are hungry, what do you do?" Chris replies "I eat". Amanda said "Dad, when you are thirsty, what do you do?" Chris pauses, and replies "I get something to drink". Amanda then shouts "Dad, when you break your freaking toe, what do you do??!!!" Oh my lord... it was so funny!
He was explaining to her the story of how and when he first noticed it was hurt. Said he was kneeling on the toilet cleaning the poo off the floor (trying to keep it off of him) when he noticed blood on the floor. He wondered where that came from, looked at his foot and noticed his toe was missing. Yep, missing. He then begins to look on the floor for it (can you just imagine that???). He then realized it was folded/hanging/whatever under his foot. Oh my GOD too funny. Although, seriously Chris (if you are reading this) GET IT CHECKED dude!
So, Julie said she's baking a cake for herself today because she's 30 days clean. Now... how that's possible when she took a drug test late last week and still had pot in her system from 2 weeks earlier is beyond my understanding. Must be that "new math" or something.
I was checking out the kids myspace accounts today. Ya know, the longer they are off of that, the more I really don't want them to go back on it. They are just... different people... when on the internet. Plus it is so much work to try and make sure they pull off inappropriate photos of themselves, don't talk dirty, and their friends are really their friends. Jonathan and Justin are just fine on it, but Kayla and Kayte go way overboard. Examples? Kayla posts a sexy photo leaning on a pole (not naked or anything, just 'looks' sexy) and her caption is usually something about how sexy she is - she gets comments from guys about how hot she is - one guy from New York, he's 14 - she can't know him, ya know? Another guy from Ft. Lauderdale, he's 20. Yet another guy named "IceCream Man" who 'wants to meet sometime' - obviously doesn't know her. Another guy from Apopka - wherever the hell that is. And Kayte, sigh... only 12 - one guy's name is listed as "Horny Guy from UK" telling her how 'fine' she looks. His only interests listed on his myspace is "Sex Sex and Sex". And then the stuff they write... I mean anything that starts out with "Whaz hood nigga" is just going to go downhill, ya know? They both brag on their spaces about being a part of the gang "FAM". UGG
Just came home to find the kids bathroom completely tore up. Chris has really started the project now. I hope we finish it before Gwen arrives the first weekend in March. We'll see how that goes. It STINKS in the bathroom. We are going to have to pull up the floor, subfloor and all. While we're at it, Chris will replace everything in there (which we've been wanting to do anyways). Going to put a shower pan in instead of a tub - it'll be neater, cleaner and make the room look larger. Chris's working buddy Wayne is on his way over to help take a look at the bathroom to make sure we don't need to do anything else.
*Just went back in to edit this post. For reference now and in the future, whenever I talk about the 'we' when I refer to doing the bathroom, please know it's really 'Chris'. It's a 20-year marriage thing when I refer to his project as 'we'. But he's the real "repair man man man man" in the house and really deserves any credit for what he does in there.*
The kids are all outsie playing basketball. Let me count them... 7 kids in the driveway. It's nice to see Jonathan making friends finally, thanks to the help of Justin.
I better run - we have church membership classes tonight.
I guess the most excitement of the day has been trying to get Chris to go and get his foot X-rayed. The man just won't go. I know, I know... not much you can do for a toe really - however - if it's not back in place, it does need to be set. Our marvelous brother-in-law, Tony, said he'd xray it and even set it for him, at St. Joseph's Hospital (for free) - but - Chris refuses to go. I've told him to go, Katie and Tony think he should go, his mom has been telling him to go. But the funniest one to call him was Amanda. Picture this... the phone rings at home, Chris picks it up - it's Amanda. Amanda says "Dad, when you are hungry, what do you do?" Chris replies "I eat". Amanda said "Dad, when you are thirsty, what do you do?" Chris pauses, and replies "I get something to drink". Amanda then shouts "Dad, when you break your freaking toe, what do you do??!!!" Oh my lord... it was so funny!
He was explaining to her the story of how and when he first noticed it was hurt. Said he was kneeling on the toilet cleaning the poo off the floor (trying to keep it off of him) when he noticed blood on the floor. He wondered where that came from, looked at his foot and noticed his toe was missing. Yep, missing. He then begins to look on the floor for it (can you just imagine that???). He then realized it was folded/hanging/whatever under his foot. Oh my GOD too funny. Although, seriously Chris (if you are reading this) GET IT CHECKED dude!
So, Julie said she's baking a cake for herself today because she's 30 days clean. Now... how that's possible when she took a drug test late last week and still had pot in her system from 2 weeks earlier is beyond my understanding. Must be that "new math" or something.
I was checking out the kids myspace accounts today. Ya know, the longer they are off of that, the more I really don't want them to go back on it. They are just... different people... when on the internet. Plus it is so much work to try and make sure they pull off inappropriate photos of themselves, don't talk dirty, and their friends are really their friends. Jonathan and Justin are just fine on it, but Kayla and Kayte go way overboard. Examples? Kayla posts a sexy photo leaning on a pole (not naked or anything, just 'looks' sexy) and her caption is usually something about how sexy she is - she gets comments from guys about how hot she is - one guy from New York, he's 14 - she can't know him, ya know? Another guy from Ft. Lauderdale, he's 20. Yet another guy named "IceCream Man" who 'wants to meet sometime' - obviously doesn't know her. Another guy from Apopka - wherever the hell that is. And Kayte, sigh... only 12 - one guy's name is listed as "Horny Guy from UK" telling her how 'fine' she looks. His only interests listed on his myspace is "Sex Sex and Sex". And then the stuff they write... I mean anything that starts out with "Whaz hood nigga" is just going to go downhill, ya know? They both brag on their spaces about being a part of the gang "FAM". UGG
Just came home to find the kids bathroom completely tore up. Chris has really started the project now. I hope we finish it before Gwen arrives the first weekend in March. We'll see how that goes. It STINKS in the bathroom. We are going to have to pull up the floor, subfloor and all. While we're at it, Chris will replace everything in there (which we've been wanting to do anyways). Going to put a shower pan in instead of a tub - it'll be neater, cleaner and make the room look larger. Chris's working buddy Wayne is on his way over to help take a look at the bathroom to make sure we don't need to do anything else.
*Just went back in to edit this post. For reference now and in the future, whenever I talk about the 'we' when I refer to doing the bathroom, please know it's really 'Chris'. It's a 20-year marriage thing when I refer to his project as 'we'. But he's the real "repair man man man man" in the house and really deserves any credit for what he does in there.*
The kids are all outsie playing basketball. Let me count them... 7 kids in the driveway. It's nice to see Jonathan making friends finally, thanks to the help of Justin.
I better run - we have church membership classes tonight.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
The Shit hits the.....
Happy Valentines Day! Let's see... where to start with tonight's excitement....
We came home from work and had another long honest talk with Kayla. The biggest thing I'd like her to get out of the conversation is "who you surround yourself with, is who you will become". Meaning, well, you know what that means. I basically told her that I would do whatever it takes to help her become a good student. If, God forbid, it meant she needed to be in a strict prison-type setting (group home) to get her to buckle down and pass, that's what was going to have to happen. Sigh. Okay - Let's get onto the real excitement of the night.
Kayla cooked dinner for us - fried chicken and rice. YUMMY. The kitchen however was a mess, so I asked all the other kids to do the clean-up and Chris and I got to watch an hour of American Idol. Great fun.
Still watching television (into "House" now) and Kayla comes down and tells me there was water on the kitchen floor but she cleaned it up (didn't want Grandpa to fall - very sweet of her to think of that). Never occured to me to wonder where the water came from. Back to our television show. Five or ten minutes later (not really sure how much longer) Justin comes down and asks "what can I use to clean up poop". First thought was the cats - maybe someone missed the litter box - how thoughtful of Justin to go immediately and clean it up - he says not for the cats, but for him. So... I think - explosive diarrhea, how embarassing for him. I tell him to go into the cleaning closet and find something there. He gets up and mumbles something - and somehow or another it suddenly dawns on Chris and I that the toilet has overflowed and there is shit everywhere in the bathroom. Chris darts upstairs and - yes -- it's evident.
There is pee and poo everywhere - understand me clearly when I say - everywhere.
On the way running into the bathroom, he hits his small toe, however, he doesn't realize it until the horror of the scene settles in later. (Yes, the yelling has commenced). Chris yells for me to go downstairs under the bathroom and check the kitchen - to see if the water (err... poo and pee) has soaked through to the first floor and into the kitchen. Worst case scenario - confirmed - yellow and brown liquid all over the kitchen floor and streaking down the wall. Somebody get me a gag-bag, I'm gonna vomit. Chris is upstairs screaming - why didn't anyone tell us - come and get us - something????!!!
I don't know the whole story, who pooped first and noticed it was stopped up but didn't plunge - who went next and so on and so forth. I really don't care, that's an honest mistake. But... to not tell us... to let it get that bad. Sigh... there's that bad decision making again.
Okay - I'm trying to calm Chris down while we still try to maintain control over what just happened. (Yes, say it with me "Shit Happens" - funny funny). Chris in the meantime looks down at his toe.
Now - all of you - get your barf bags ready -
As his adrenaline calms down, he realizes his toe is really hurting. He looks down, and his pinky toe is curled under his foot, and he can't feel it. At all. Feels pain, yes - but totally no idea that his toe is underneath his foot, and bleeding I might add. He reaches down and moves his toe back into place. He hears a *snap* as it goes back. We don't believe it's dislocated, we believe he broke it. Oh joy.
So... where was I with the poop - oh yeah - cleanup. Chris goes and gets gloves, bleach and paper towels and dives right in. Of course, none of the kids thought to grab dirty towels - they grabbed all the clean towels we had in the closet. Grrrrrrrreat.
As you probably know, Chris has become quite the handyman. Well, his next project is now the bathroom. We have to pull up the toilet, tiles and floorboard to get the fecal matter out. Thank God he knows how to do it. I suppose it's just as well really, we've been meaning to replace that tile, and this is not the first time the toilet has overflowed in there - now is as good a time as any to get 'er done. Just throw a little poo in the mix and it just becomes much more of a priority.
So - here we are - Valentines Night - Chris on one computer, me on the other - both smelling like a mixture of bleach and poo.
Gotta love life..........
We came home from work and had another long honest talk with Kayla. The biggest thing I'd like her to get out of the conversation is "who you surround yourself with, is who you will become". Meaning, well, you know what that means. I basically told her that I would do whatever it takes to help her become a good student. If, God forbid, it meant she needed to be in a strict prison-type setting (group home) to get her to buckle down and pass, that's what was going to have to happen. Sigh. Okay - Let's get onto the real excitement of the night.
Kayla cooked dinner for us - fried chicken and rice. YUMMY. The kitchen however was a mess, so I asked all the other kids to do the clean-up and Chris and I got to watch an hour of American Idol. Great fun.
Still watching television (into "House" now) and Kayla comes down and tells me there was water on the kitchen floor but she cleaned it up (didn't want Grandpa to fall - very sweet of her to think of that). Never occured to me to wonder where the water came from. Back to our television show. Five or ten minutes later (not really sure how much longer) Justin comes down and asks "what can I use to clean up poop". First thought was the cats - maybe someone missed the litter box - how thoughtful of Justin to go immediately and clean it up - he says not for the cats, but for him. So... I think - explosive diarrhea, how embarassing for him. I tell him to go into the cleaning closet and find something there. He gets up and mumbles something - and somehow or another it suddenly dawns on Chris and I that the toilet has overflowed and there is shit everywhere in the bathroom. Chris darts upstairs and - yes -- it's evident.
There is pee and poo everywhere - understand me clearly when I say - everywhere.
On the way running into the bathroom, he hits his small toe, however, he doesn't realize it until the horror of the scene settles in later. (Yes, the yelling has commenced). Chris yells for me to go downstairs under the bathroom and check the kitchen - to see if the water (err... poo and pee) has soaked through to the first floor and into the kitchen. Worst case scenario - confirmed - yellow and brown liquid all over the kitchen floor and streaking down the wall. Somebody get me a gag-bag, I'm gonna vomit. Chris is upstairs screaming - why didn't anyone tell us - come and get us - something????!!!
I don't know the whole story, who pooped first and noticed it was stopped up but didn't plunge - who went next and so on and so forth. I really don't care, that's an honest mistake. But... to not tell us... to let it get that bad. Sigh... there's that bad decision making again.
Okay - I'm trying to calm Chris down while we still try to maintain control over what just happened. (Yes, say it with me "Shit Happens" - funny funny). Chris in the meantime looks down at his toe.
Now - all of you - get your barf bags ready -
As his adrenaline calms down, he realizes his toe is really hurting. He looks down, and his pinky toe is curled under his foot, and he can't feel it. At all. Feels pain, yes - but totally no idea that his toe is underneath his foot, and bleeding I might add. He reaches down and moves his toe back into place. He hears a *snap* as it goes back. We don't believe it's dislocated, we believe he broke it. Oh joy.
So... where was I with the poop - oh yeah - cleanup. Chris goes and gets gloves, bleach and paper towels and dives right in. Of course, none of the kids thought to grab dirty towels - they grabbed all the clean towels we had in the closet. Grrrrrrrreat.
As you probably know, Chris has become quite the handyman. Well, his next project is now the bathroom. We have to pull up the toilet, tiles and floorboard to get the fecal matter out. Thank God he knows how to do it. I suppose it's just as well really, we've been meaning to replace that tile, and this is not the first time the toilet has overflowed in there - now is as good a time as any to get 'er done. Just throw a little poo in the mix and it just becomes much more of a priority.
So - here we are - Valentines Night - Chris on one computer, me on the other - both smelling like a mixture of bleach and poo.
Gotta love life..........
Well... here we go.... another day - another phone call from the school. Sigh.....
One of Kayla's teachers called again today. She's getting a referral and a scholarship warning (failing her class as well). Seems Kayla is spending more time in the office than she is in classes. I won't go into everything the teacher told me here, but I'll try and put it in a nutshell for you.
One example of her obvious disruptive behavior - the homeroom teacher said she just won't ever stop talking. The teacher, being a nice woman, tried to 'make a deal' with Kayla. She told her that they have announcements for 3 min -- and that if Kayla could NOT talk for those three minutes, she would give her the rest of the 12 minutes to talk to her hearts desire without being punished. Kayla refuses to do so.
The teacher told me that Kayla is 'being easily led by bad influences'. Yeah, wonder where she gets that from??? The teacher wanted to know if Kayla needed medication or perhaps even counseling. Ding - ding - ding - ding -- we have a winner.
I'm so frustrated. The teacher didn't even think having a conference would stop her from this behavior. I talked to her about possibly Chris or I taking off work and going to sit with her at all of her classes. She thought that was a good idea. I just don't know that it will have the permanent impact that it needs to have.
I'm going to have to call Karen and find out what my options are. Speaking of... Julie just called. She says Kayla never had these problems at home. She was good in school and didn't hang out with the wrong crowd. (Okay, now - good in school, maybe - wrong crowd? How can she say that??? I mean, her last boyfriend was in a gang, smoked pot, dropped out of school, beat up girls/women/everyone else, had a gun... c'mon... give me a break here).
Mom just called with another great idea (possible idea). Calling Gwen and seeing if she will just take Kayla for a while. Course, Gwen would need to know it's possible she'll have her until she's 18... but who knows - maybe it would be better for Kayla.
I know Chris wants to keep her. And - for that matter - so do I. But I also want what's best for Kayla. I don't want her to be a 16 year old 8th grader. Some kids are graduating high school at 16, she'd still be in middle school.
Think I'll call Karen, give her the scoop, then just pray for an answer.
More later.....
One of Kayla's teachers called again today. She's getting a referral and a scholarship warning (failing her class as well). Seems Kayla is spending more time in the office than she is in classes. I won't go into everything the teacher told me here, but I'll try and put it in a nutshell for you.
One example of her obvious disruptive behavior - the homeroom teacher said she just won't ever stop talking. The teacher, being a nice woman, tried to 'make a deal' with Kayla. She told her that they have announcements for 3 min -- and that if Kayla could NOT talk for those three minutes, she would give her the rest of the 12 minutes to talk to her hearts desire without being punished. Kayla refuses to do so.
The teacher told me that Kayla is 'being easily led by bad influences'. Yeah, wonder where she gets that from??? The teacher wanted to know if Kayla needed medication or perhaps even counseling. Ding - ding - ding - ding -- we have a winner.
I'm so frustrated. The teacher didn't even think having a conference would stop her from this behavior. I talked to her about possibly Chris or I taking off work and going to sit with her at all of her classes. She thought that was a good idea. I just don't know that it will have the permanent impact that it needs to have.
I'm going to have to call Karen and find out what my options are. Speaking of... Julie just called. She says Kayla never had these problems at home. She was good in school and didn't hang out with the wrong crowd. (Okay, now - good in school, maybe - wrong crowd? How can she say that??? I mean, her last boyfriend was in a gang, smoked pot, dropped out of school, beat up girls/women/everyone else, had a gun... c'mon... give me a break here).
Mom just called with another great idea (possible idea). Calling Gwen and seeing if she will just take Kayla for a while. Course, Gwen would need to know it's possible she'll have her until she's 18... but who knows - maybe it would be better for Kayla.
I know Chris wants to keep her. And - for that matter - so do I. But I also want what's best for Kayla. I don't want her to be a 16 year old 8th grader. Some kids are graduating high school at 16, she'd still be in middle school.
Think I'll call Karen, give her the scoop, then just pray for an answer.
More later.....
Monday, February 13, 2006
Julie's Doctor's Appt Today
Julie just called. Her doctors visit with Vergeese went well. She met with both Vergeese and Karen (the lady from DCF). Julie said the meeting went very well and that Karen is "so nice" and that Karen's only goal is to get the kids back with Julie. While I'm thrilled the appointment went well, when we meet, I'm going to have to discuss my frustration with the mixed signals. I suppose it could be that same thing when you know you are dying of cancer - nobody ever says "just give up, you are going to die anyways". Nobody wants Julie to give up hope - and I totally understand that. I just am not sure she's going to take it seriously enough if she thinks she's close to getting the kids back.
Anyways... Julie said Karen might attend our visit on Thursday. Guess the more the merrier!
Julie also balked at Karen when she talked about getting the kids counseling. Julie said that I have enough to do without taking three kids to counseling. Karen explained to her that if I couldn't do it, Karen would have to take them. I (of course) told Julie I could take them - but really... when would I do that? I guess if it's during the day, Chris would have to take them.
I have a horrible headache that's getting worse as the day progresses. Signing off for now.
Anyways... Julie said Karen might attend our visit on Thursday. Guess the more the merrier!
Julie also balked at Karen when she talked about getting the kids counseling. Julie said that I have enough to do without taking three kids to counseling. Karen explained to her that if I couldn't do it, Karen would have to take them. I (of course) told Julie I could take them - but really... when would I do that? I guess if it's during the day, Chris would have to take them.
I have a horrible headache that's getting worse as the day progresses. Signing off for now.
Tina's Story With the Kids
I thought I would start keeping a blog to let everyone know what it's like with all these kids in my house. I know... I know... others have 4 kids at home with no problems. Well, when three of them come to you as Teenagers and with problems, it's not that simple.
Julie has always had mental/psychological problems. She met and married Ron and she did --- okay. She was not totally healed while he was alive by any means, but he kept her stable enough to try to raise the family. When she went into the hospital, he'd watch the kids. Julie still did things while he was alive demonstrating that she still had mental illness - from manic/depressive episodes to lying about being raped so that the Air Force would send him home early (he was overseas). [I'm not saying this to try to hurt Julie, I think it's important you understand her state of mind] There was also the cutting (self mutilation) which she did on a regular basis.
About a year and a half ago, Ron died. Apparently, the Gulf War gave him Leukemia and a Kidney Disease. This was hard on everyone, in particular the kids. Julie would have men over the house (several times living with her) because "she had needs" (meaning, she wanted the sex/love). I imagine this was very hard on the kids as well. Throughout the year she began giving away Ron's things to these men - which I now find out - really traumatized the kids.
I'm not sure exactly when Julie's life began to spiral out of control - but - by November 2005 she had very bad people living with her at her house. She smoked pot daily. She took her meds however she wanted to (overdosing all the time). She was 'huffing'. The guys living there were young and in a Gang. Julie said she didn't mind this because 'she felt safe' with them there. Safe. That's pretty funny I think. Anyways - sometime in November, I got a call that Kayla had run away because her mom went bazerk and hit her. I was told the police were called, and I immediately drove over to her house. What I saw when I got there was surreal. Julie inside screaming at everyone. She wouldn't even allow me to step on her property (as if I had done anything wrong to her at this point!) This young Gang kid outside yelling at me, telling me he was going to kill me. Even the police were upset by everything going on there. Apparently - Julie had overdosed the night before - hoping to die. She woke up and was 1) pissed off to be alive and 2) pissed off because she had no pot in the house. I don't belive that she 'beat' Kayla, but I am positive she got physical with her. The police took Julie away and were going to call the Department of Children and Families (DCF), but I offered to take the kids with me. This was about midnight- and believe it or not - Julie was out of the hospital before noon the next day. Yep, less than 12 hours. She picked up the kids, and I was very upset about this.
The next day, DCF came to Julie's house. They made it very clear to her what had to happen in her house so that they would not take the kids. Tip of the iceberg: she had to get clean, the guys living there had to move out, she had to take her meds as prescribed. At the follow-up visit, none of this had happened, and she had cut herself and taken meds wrong and the guy had not yet moved out - so they took the kids. Again, I offered to take them in my home as I just couldn't see them going into foster care.
The following days were very difficult. Julie called all the time - and she was pissed about (you'll love this) money. See, Ron had death benefits for the kids. DCF had informed Julie that - wherever the kids went, so did their money. Julie was furious. She kept calling saying she couldn't 'make it' without her kids... but she was referring to 'making it' financially. Now she is better about it, thank goodness. I get the kids money, and out of that money (and the kindness of my heart) I pay her mortgage. She made the mistake of telling me last month that it was 'late' (paid on the day she gave me the month and the bill amount)... I told her that I am a month behind on my mortgage so she better keep her damn mouth shut and be thankful. And, she has been very nice about it since then.
So... that's the history of the kids coming to me. Just to say it 'out loud' here - I have heard horror stories from these kids about their life. Kayla and Kayte have shared with me stories of being out at 3am walking the streets (one time being grabbed by a stranger, but was able to break free). They tell me about how they had to be home with Julie's bedroom door open so that one kid could always keep an eye on her so she wouldn't kill herself. This sometimes worked, but they have also shared stories with me of Julie cutting herself in front of them and overdosing in front of them. I have read - from Kayla's own handwriting - that Kayla was allowed to sleep with the young Gang guy every night (she would 'fall asleep in his arms every night'). I have heard stories about Julie getting high with Kayla. I have found out that all three of them have smoked pot. (Youngest is 12). Julie herself has told me that she's not getting Kayla on the birth control pill because she's 'ready to be a grandma' and Kayla getting pregnant would be good. Heck, Julie says, Kayla is now older than Ron's mom was anyways when she got pregnant with Ron. Yeah, that makes tons of sense.
It's funny though - the longer the kids are away from Mom, the more they think that their life before was "normal". I know the kids love the structure of living with us, but hate the rules. In particular, the girls are the worst at following rules and listening to us. An example of not listening: Last night I told Kayte to go upstairs and clean her room - three times I told her. I go upstairs to check an hour and a half later, she's laying on the bed - room totally a mess. Her reply when I asked"You told me to clean my room????" She then said she'd do it, but continued to lay on the bed. You see, Kayla is the 'cleaner' person in the family and Kayte wanted her to do it and I'm getting sick and tired of Kayte not pulling her weight here at the house. (She is horrible at doing her own chores as well) I said, Kayte, do it now. She replied (still vertical) okay, and continued to lay there. I yelled at her, telling her that I was sick of it - sick of her relying on Kayla to clean up after HER - I was fed up with telling her to do something several times only to have her lie and say she never heard it. But, I think I'm going to have to continue to yell at her to get her to do what she needs to do in our house. Then there's the rule breaking: They told me that their friend's mom (whom I've met) was going to drive them to the mall and home. Long story very short, they lied about that. I'm still not sure which story to believe about how they got home. In an email they wrote that they had walked home from the mall (a good 5 miles) - in their last story to us (after multiple lies) they were driven to a McDonalds and they walked home from there (about 2 miles). We put them on restriction - no internet and no phones. (Oooo.. the internet, we'll have to remember to talk about that later!) Of course, it wasn't long until they were caught -- they went over a friends house and got on her computer -- AND -- they were on our computers at home. Now they can have no friends over and they can not go to any friends houses... we just can't trust them. UGG
I have asked Mom and Katie to help by taking the kids out once in a while, and giving Chris and I some 'down time'. Our morning starts off at 7am with kids getting ready for school. I'm out the door by 7:30 and Chris sees them off to school at 8:30. They get home at 4:30 (Chris is usually home by then) and I'm home at 5. They work on homework until it's done and Chris and I do what we can to help them. We have to see and check their homework, and sign their planners for the day. Sometime around here it's also time to talk to them about their daily phone call. You see, the 3 of them have talking problems - and the two girls have horrible attitude problems, which have resulted in a daily phone call from the school. Then it's time to start dinner (which, btw, feeding a family of 7 is horrible!). One of the kids sets the table, we eat, one of the kids clears the table. The kids usually play basketball and/or jump on the trampoline until it's time to come in for bed. Unless they are off restriction - in which case Kayla and Kayte would be on the computer all the time. The kids bedtime is 10, but we have to start 'getting them ready' closer to 9. (Getting them ready as in, constant nagging to get chores done, pick up after themselves, schoolwork toether, etc) So they have a pretty set schedule at our house, but for Chris and I it's just constant nagging to get anything done.
And speaking of the nagging, that is - by far - my biggest complaint with these kids. It doesn't occur to them that their clothes all over the kitchen floor might be a hazard to my father-in-law (lives with us after his stroke and barely gets around as it is) - nor that it's an eyesore. It doesn't occur to them when they take off their shoes that they need to be someplace other than wherever they took them off. Same with their clothes/jackets. When they eat something, to put the bowl in the dishwasher. Just... general 'picking up after yourself' stuff... these kids don't get. And... it drives me INSANE. I'm not the kind of person who is happy cleaning up after people - I want them to do it themselves, but I want to not have to yell or ask it 3 times for it to happen. Ooo... and the yelling- - that really doesn't ever happen because, if something is left out -- (example: in the morning there are 3 cereal bowls on the counter) - I can ask everyone who did it. Suddenly... nobody had breakfast. It drives me INSANE.
Okay, on to more serious stuff. The thing is - the new DCF lady, Karen - keeps telling me that she can't imagine Julie will ever get to have the kids back. She told me she has never seen a mom with so many problems before. Yet, Julie thinks she's doing great. The kids think they are going home in 6 months. Julie said Karen told her that she was doing great. Mom called and spoke with Karen as well and was told the same thing I was - which leads me to believe that Julie is hearing what she wants to hear. This is going to be more and more difficult down the road I'm sure.
I have an appointment with Julie's therapist on Thursday - I'll be going with her. This should prove to be fun... cross your fingers. Oh, and - so far today - no call from the kids school. Cross your fingers this is the day I don't get any calls!
Julie has always had mental/psychological problems. She met and married Ron and she did --- okay. She was not totally healed while he was alive by any means, but he kept her stable enough to try to raise the family. When she went into the hospital, he'd watch the kids. Julie still did things while he was alive demonstrating that she still had mental illness - from manic/depressive episodes to lying about being raped so that the Air Force would send him home early (he was overseas). [I'm not saying this to try to hurt Julie, I think it's important you understand her state of mind] There was also the cutting (self mutilation) which she did on a regular basis.
About a year and a half ago, Ron died. Apparently, the Gulf War gave him Leukemia and a Kidney Disease. This was hard on everyone, in particular the kids. Julie would have men over the house (several times living with her) because "she had needs" (meaning, she wanted the sex/love). I imagine this was very hard on the kids as well. Throughout the year she began giving away Ron's things to these men - which I now find out - really traumatized the kids.
I'm not sure exactly when Julie's life began to spiral out of control - but - by November 2005 she had very bad people living with her at her house. She smoked pot daily. She took her meds however she wanted to (overdosing all the time). She was 'huffing'. The guys living there were young and in a Gang. Julie said she didn't mind this because 'she felt safe' with them there. Safe. That's pretty funny I think. Anyways - sometime in November, I got a call that Kayla had run away because her mom went bazerk and hit her. I was told the police were called, and I immediately drove over to her house. What I saw when I got there was surreal. Julie inside screaming at everyone. She wouldn't even allow me to step on her property (as if I had done anything wrong to her at this point!) This young Gang kid outside yelling at me, telling me he was going to kill me. Even the police were upset by everything going on there. Apparently - Julie had overdosed the night before - hoping to die. She woke up and was 1) pissed off to be alive and 2) pissed off because she had no pot in the house. I don't belive that she 'beat' Kayla, but I am positive she got physical with her. The police took Julie away and were going to call the Department of Children and Families (DCF), but I offered to take the kids with me. This was about midnight- and believe it or not - Julie was out of the hospital before noon the next day. Yep, less than 12 hours. She picked up the kids, and I was very upset about this.
The next day, DCF came to Julie's house. They made it very clear to her what had to happen in her house so that they would not take the kids. Tip of the iceberg: she had to get clean, the guys living there had to move out, she had to take her meds as prescribed. At the follow-up visit, none of this had happened, and she had cut herself and taken meds wrong and the guy had not yet moved out - so they took the kids. Again, I offered to take them in my home as I just couldn't see them going into foster care.
The following days were very difficult. Julie called all the time - and she was pissed about (you'll love this) money. See, Ron had death benefits for the kids. DCF had informed Julie that - wherever the kids went, so did their money. Julie was furious. She kept calling saying she couldn't 'make it' without her kids... but she was referring to 'making it' financially. Now she is better about it, thank goodness. I get the kids money, and out of that money (and the kindness of my heart) I pay her mortgage. She made the mistake of telling me last month that it was 'late' (paid on the day she gave me the month and the bill amount)... I told her that I am a month behind on my mortgage so she better keep her damn mouth shut and be thankful. And, she has been very nice about it since then.
So... that's the history of the kids coming to me. Just to say it 'out loud' here - I have heard horror stories from these kids about their life. Kayla and Kayte have shared with me stories of being out at 3am walking the streets (one time being grabbed by a stranger, but was able to break free). They tell me about how they had to be home with Julie's bedroom door open so that one kid could always keep an eye on her so she wouldn't kill herself. This sometimes worked, but they have also shared stories with me of Julie cutting herself in front of them and overdosing in front of them. I have read - from Kayla's own handwriting - that Kayla was allowed to sleep with the young Gang guy every night (she would 'fall asleep in his arms every night'). I have heard stories about Julie getting high with Kayla. I have found out that all three of them have smoked pot. (Youngest is 12). Julie herself has told me that she's not getting Kayla on the birth control pill because she's 'ready to be a grandma' and Kayla getting pregnant would be good. Heck, Julie says, Kayla is now older than Ron's mom was anyways when she got pregnant with Ron. Yeah, that makes tons of sense.
It's funny though - the longer the kids are away from Mom, the more they think that their life before was "normal". I know the kids love the structure of living with us, but hate the rules. In particular, the girls are the worst at following rules and listening to us. An example of not listening: Last night I told Kayte to go upstairs and clean her room - three times I told her. I go upstairs to check an hour and a half later, she's laying on the bed - room totally a mess. Her reply when I asked
I have asked Mom and Katie to help by taking the kids out once in a while, and giving Chris and I some 'down time'. Our morning starts off at 7am with kids getting ready for school. I'm out the door by 7:30 and Chris sees them off to school at 8:30. They get home at 4:30 (Chris is usually home by then) and I'm home at 5. They work on homework until it's done and Chris and I do what we can to help them. We have to see and check their homework, and sign their planners for the day. Sometime around here it's also time to talk to them about their daily phone call. You see, the 3 of them have talking problems - and the two girls have horrible attitude problems, which have resulted in a daily phone call from the school. Then it's time to start dinner (which, btw, feeding a family of 7 is horrible!). One of the kids sets the table, we eat, one of the kids clears the table. The kids usually play basketball and/or jump on the trampoline until it's time to come in for bed. Unless they are off restriction - in which case Kayla and Kayte would be on the computer all the time. The kids bedtime is 10, but we have to start 'getting them ready' closer to 9. (Getting them ready as in, constant nagging to get chores done, pick up after themselves, schoolwork toether, etc) So they have a pretty set schedule at our house, but for Chris and I it's just constant nagging to get anything done.
And speaking of the nagging, that is - by far - my biggest complaint with these kids. It doesn't occur to them that their clothes all over the kitchen floor might be a hazard to my father-in-law (lives with us after his stroke and barely gets around as it is) - nor that it's an eyesore. It doesn't occur to them when they take off their shoes that they need to be someplace other than wherever they took them off. Same with their clothes/jackets. When they eat something, to put the bowl in the dishwasher. Just... general 'picking up after yourself' stuff... these kids don't get. And... it drives me INSANE. I'm not the kind of person who is happy cleaning up after people - I want them to do it themselves, but I want to not have to yell or ask it 3 times for it to happen. Ooo... and the yelling- - that really doesn't ever happen because, if something is left out -- (example: in the morning there are 3 cereal bowls on the counter) - I can ask everyone who did it. Suddenly... nobody had breakfast. It drives me INSANE.
Okay, on to more serious stuff. The thing is - the new DCF lady, Karen - keeps telling me that she can't imagine Julie will ever get to have the kids back. She told me she has never seen a mom with so many problems before. Yet, Julie thinks she's doing great. The kids think they are going home in 6 months. Julie said Karen told her that she was doing great. Mom called and spoke with Karen as well and was told the same thing I was - which leads me to believe that Julie is hearing what she wants to hear. This is going to be more and more difficult down the road I'm sure.
I have an appointment with Julie's therapist on Thursday - I'll be going with her. This should prove to be fun... cross your fingers. Oh, and - so far today - no call from the kids school. Cross your fingers this is the day I don't get any calls!
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