I forgot to tell you all how my Neurologist appointment went! It was just fine. It was funny when he asked "Do you get more than one headache a week?" I reeeeeeally laughed at that one. I said, "Uh, doc, I've documented 20 headaches in 30 days. Here is my log... what I was doing... what I was eating... drinking... everything." He was quite surprised. He didn't think that it was anything I was eating, drinking, or even stress... he thinks I'm just prone to get migraines. He gave me a preventative migraine pill and two different headache pills to take home with me. The nice thing about having my OWN prescription is that I know I have enough to last so that I can take a pill immediately when I feel a headache coming on. I started the daily preventative migraine pill on Sunday and I'm looking forward to that working and being headache free!
I got a call from Julie today. First of all she was manic. Very manic. She talked about how she called Bay News 9 to do a story on Ron's death. She told them everything... about Ron dying... about the kids. They told her they might like to do a story on the kids, but she said NO, she didn't want them to do that. But they may do something for Ron on the anniversary of his death, August 28th, 2004. Oh, and Miss "I have no money at all" - the one we gave money to only a couple weeks ago - is headed off to the beach this weekend. Not to a small place, to a resort. And not to any room, to the penthouse. OIE! Although, she says she is not paying anything for it... a friend is paying everything for her. I still --this isn't nice of me -- I don't think she deserves it. She's behind in bills, has NO money, isn't saving anything, has no job, and she's going to the penthouse of a beach resort? I dunno... is it me?? Am I being a mean old sister?? Maybe....
On to the kids! They are having a HUGE party at my house next weekend. We told the kids they could have a birthday party - end of the summer pool party at our house next Saturday, August 11th. I've not even thought of it until just now, and I am freaking out about it. 20-30 KIDS in my house.... in my pool.... OMG. Was I C-R-A-Z-Y when I agreed to this????? Ah jeez. And... am I supposed to FEED them all??? How??? When I first thought about the party, I wanted to make absolutely sure that the kids had a GREAT party. The kind of party that when they went to school in a couple weeks, everyone is STILL talking about it. Now I'm not so sure I can pull that off. Sigh.....
So I also wanted to tell you about what happened tonight with Jonathan. I'm on the phone in the kitchen. Chris is preparing dinner.... hamburgers and french fries. Chris is inside preparing everything and Jonathan wants to know if he can start the grill. "Sure" Chris tells him.
Jonathan walks outside and turns on the gas. Then he realizes he can't find the lighter. (The button thingy doesn't work.) He walks inside and tells Chris that he needs a lighter. "It's around here somewhere Jonathan" Chris tells him. Jono takes his time looking around the house, but finally finds one.
He walks outside to start the grill. Chris and I assumed he had NOT turned on the gas when he went out there earlier.
I'm talking to Michelle on the cell.... looking out back through the kitchen window (the grill is just on the other side of that window). All the sudden I see it......
A GREAT BIG BALL OF FIRE. Wooooooooooooosssssshhhhhh. Then Jonathan standing there - utterly shocked. I say to my friend Michelle, "Uh, I have to go now. Jonathan just set himself on fire." Click. Hung up the phone.
Chris runs outside to check on him. I'm right behind him. Jonathan, as you know, is rather fair and his hair is VERY blonde. His arm is red.... his arm is a light brownish color which we now know was from the burnt hair. His face was singed... eyebrows a darker brown... front of his hair was that light brown color and a bit of his hair was just.... there, broken off. Even his little eyelashes were slightly burnt; although they were there, the tips of them were rounded and had that burnt color to them. I immediately finger-brushed his hair (after checking him for burns of course, which he didn't really have) to see how bad his hair was. Poor Jonathan wanted to run to a mirror, but we wouldn't let him at first. I tousled his hair and shook out what was loose. Not too bad... you can barely notice really, except for the burnt tips, and he needs a haircut before school starts anyways.
After we got him taken care of, I remembered my last words to Michelle. I call her back to tell her everything was fine, and she was relieved. She said to NEVER do that to her again... she didn't know what happened and was worried sick. Not that I was thinking clearly at the time, ya know. **grin**
I should run for the night. Much to do. Thanks for keeping all of us in your thoughts and prayers!
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
Mark Twain
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Sunday, July 29, 2007
What Are You Spreading?
Wow - what an exciting weekend! My sister Katie is 8 months pregnant and in the middle of a home remodel at her house. She wanted to have a "purse party" but didn't have the room for it, so she asked if she could do it at my house. Of course I said yes. I cleaned for DAYS. My mother-in-law Evie always hosts parties and now I have a whole new appreciation to what she must go through. I scrubbed. Cleaned. Fixed. Patched. Whatever needed to be done. But the end result was a fun party where everyone had a pretty good time.
It also resulted in me getting my first purses in... I don't know how long. I don't usually buy purses. My sister Katie buys nice purses, and when she's ready to toss them, I take them and use them. I went to Church today with a nice purse - can you BELIEVE IT? And I had three to choose from! I was just pickled tink! LOL
Speaking of Katie, I should give a shout-out to a new blog reader, Caesar of SunTrust. I hear you just found the blog. I really do thank you for reading and for thinking of us. It means a lot. I don't know if you were able to read the WHOLE blog to see how far these amazing kids have come, but I hope you got that general idea. They are great and we are blessed in so many ways. Thanks for reading and keeping us in your prayers.
The kids are doing very well. Kayte got in from Miami last night. Michelle brought over some school supplies which were GREAT. Julie's former roommate Kaye brought over a $100 gift card for Walmart. Thank you to both of you. We are still on the lookout for some inexpensive boys clothes... so if any of you know of a place we could go VERY inexpensive, please let me know. Also on the lookout for a few more school supplies (backpacks probably being the biggest thing).
Julie came over for the purse party and got to see all three of the kids, so she was happy. She didn't want to bring her oxygen with her, but I told her that if it makes here feel better, she SHOULD bring it. Earlier in the day I had talked to Julie on the phone (when discussing the oxygen) she said some things that made me crazy.
Julie: I just don't feel well. I keep coughing and wheezing. I can't walk or do much without needing to breathe the oxygen. Then I feel better.
Tina: What did the doctor say when you told him about this? I mean... if your discharge diagnosis from the hospital was some sort of Pneumonia, surely it she be improved by now. Why does he say that you are still having problems?
Julie: I don't know. I didn't ask him.
Tina: You didn't ask him? When was the last time you saw him?
Julie: A couple days ago I had a follow up visit.
Tina: And you didn't ASK HIM about why you still could not breathe?
Julie: No.
Tina: Well, did he say it was still the pneumonia for some reason, or is something else going on? Julie: I don't know. I didn't say anything.
HOW the hell can you have that horrible of a time breathing and NOT tell the doctor anything about it? How can something be wrong with you.... something that causes you to require oxygen every few hours if not more... and still you don't even ask the doctor what is WRONG with you? What the diagnosis is? What the prognosis is? What his plan of treatment is? HOW?????
It. Makes. Me. Crazy.
Some of the friends/family that were at the party last night that had not seen Julie in a while were utterly shocked at her size. And... those of us that have seen Julie a lot know that it's gotten worse recently. I'm bothered by the fact that Julie not only doesn't see it, but she keeps insisting she's the same. Remember a few months ago I blogged about going to see my mom and I put in a picture of Katie, Julie and myself... the three sisters? She was overweight then sure. But now... well... here is a picture we took a week ago.
I'm afraid for her. I'm not upset that she's gaining. I'm not disgusted by her size. I'm TERRIFIED for my little sister. If you could all please keep her in your prayers. She has so many health issues... she needs prayer for strength, guidance, and healing.
We had a great sermon in Church today. Yeah... they are all great, but this one in particular I loved. It was about the article in the paper this week where studies have found that YOUR weight is affected by the people you hang out with. Friends. Family. Co-workers. That it is proven that part of who you are is determined by those people you hang around with. (A message I try to teach the kids ALL the time!) But, Pastor Matthew took it beyond weight. Who we are as a person, as a father/mother, friend, and even our spirituality - is in part - attributed to who we surround ourselves with. So, in essence, what you and I do on a day to day basis truly affects people around us in a big way.
Then he posed the question: "You are contagious; what are you spreading?" Think about that for a moment. You are on the road driving, are you spreading patience and kindness.... or anger and frustration? When you go through the check-out line and the person in front of you has 25 items in the 10 items or less line... do you spread compassion? And, frankly, knowing that we truly affect other people by our actions, words, and our general way of being... shouldn't we ALL as Christians be working to make sure what we are spreading is Christianity? Kindness. Peace. Love. Compassion. Humility. And praising God all the time. Think of what it would do if we all tried to do a little bit more of that. Hmmmm.....
I should run. Chris and I are going to see Doug real quick. Hopefully he'll remember it's been a week not 6 months. Please keep Doug in your prayers as well.
I leave you with this for today:
Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. Hold firmly to the word of life; then, on the day of Christ’s return, I will be proud that I did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless. But I will rejoice even if I lose my life, pouring it out like a liquid offering to God, just like your faithful service is an offering to God. And I want all of you to share that joy. Yes, you should rejoice, and I will share your joy.
Philippians 2:14-18
It also resulted in me getting my first purses in... I don't know how long. I don't usually buy purses. My sister Katie buys nice purses, and when she's ready to toss them, I take them and use them. I went to Church today with a nice purse - can you BELIEVE IT? And I had three to choose from! I was just pickled tink! LOL
Speaking of Katie, I should give a shout-out to a new blog reader, Caesar of SunTrust. I hear you just found the blog. I really do thank you for reading and for thinking of us. It means a lot. I don't know if you were able to read the WHOLE blog to see how far these amazing kids have come, but I hope you got that general idea. They are great and we are blessed in so many ways. Thanks for reading and keeping us in your prayers.
The kids are doing very well. Kayte got in from Miami last night. Michelle brought over some school supplies which were GREAT. Julie's former roommate Kaye brought over a $100 gift card for Walmart. Thank you to both of you. We are still on the lookout for some inexpensive boys clothes... so if any of you know of a place we could go VERY inexpensive, please let me know. Also on the lookout for a few more school supplies (backpacks probably being the biggest thing).
Julie came over for the purse party and got to see all three of the kids, so she was happy. She didn't want to bring her oxygen with her, but I told her that if it makes here feel better, she SHOULD bring it. Earlier in the day I had talked to Julie on the phone (when discussing the oxygen) she said some things that made me crazy.
Julie: I just don't feel well. I keep coughing and wheezing. I can't walk or do much without needing to breathe the oxygen. Then I feel better.
Tina: What did the doctor say when you told him about this? I mean... if your discharge diagnosis from the hospital was some sort of Pneumonia, surely it she be improved by now. Why does he say that you are still having problems?
Julie: I don't know. I didn't ask him.
Tina: You didn't ask him? When was the last time you saw him?
Julie: A couple days ago I had a follow up visit.
Tina: And you didn't ASK HIM about why you still could not breathe?
Julie: No.
Tina: Well, did he say it was still the pneumonia for some reason, or is something else going on? Julie: I don't know. I didn't say anything.
HOW the hell can you have that horrible of a time breathing and NOT tell the doctor anything about it? How can something be wrong with you.... something that causes you to require oxygen every few hours if not more... and still you don't even ask the doctor what is WRONG with you? What the diagnosis is? What the prognosis is? What his plan of treatment is? HOW?????
It. Makes. Me. Crazy.
Some of the friends/family that were at the party last night that had not seen Julie in a while were utterly shocked at her size. And... those of us that have seen Julie a lot know that it's gotten worse recently. I'm bothered by the fact that Julie not only doesn't see it, but she keeps insisting she's the same. Remember a few months ago I blogged about going to see my mom and I put in a picture of Katie, Julie and myself... the three sisters? She was overweight then sure. But now... well... here is a picture we took a week ago.
I'm afraid for her. I'm not upset that she's gaining. I'm not disgusted by her size. I'm TERRIFIED for my little sister. If you could all please keep her in your prayers. She has so many health issues... she needs prayer for strength, guidance, and healing.
We had a great sermon in Church today. Yeah... they are all great, but this one in particular I loved. It was about the article in the paper this week where studies have found that YOUR weight is affected by the people you hang out with. Friends. Family. Co-workers. That it is proven that part of who you are is determined by those people you hang around with. (A message I try to teach the kids ALL the time!) But, Pastor Matthew took it beyond weight. Who we are as a person, as a father/mother, friend, and even our spirituality - is in part - attributed to who we surround ourselves with. So, in essence, what you and I do on a day to day basis truly affects people around us in a big way.
Then he posed the question: "You are contagious; what are you spreading?" Think about that for a moment. You are on the road driving, are you spreading patience and kindness.... or anger and frustration? When you go through the check-out line and the person in front of you has 25 items in the 10 items or less line... do you spread compassion? And, frankly, knowing that we truly affect other people by our actions, words, and our general way of being... shouldn't we ALL as Christians be working to make sure what we are spreading is Christianity? Kindness. Peace. Love. Compassion. Humility. And praising God all the time. Think of what it would do if we all tried to do a little bit more of that. Hmmmm.....
I should run. Chris and I are going to see Doug real quick. Hopefully he'll remember it's been a week not 6 months. Please keep Doug in your prayers as well.
I leave you with this for today:
Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. Hold firmly to the word of life; then, on the day of Christ’s return, I will be proud that I did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless. But I will rejoice even if I lose my life, pouring it out like a liquid offering to God, just like your faithful service is an offering to God. And I want all of you to share that joy. Yes, you should rejoice, and I will share your joy.
Philippians 2:14-18
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Headaches
I'm so very tired of having headaches. I have the appointment with the Neurologist on Friday. It was supposed to be today, but they moved it to Friday. I've been keeping a log of the headaches... And here's what I've found out:
For the past 30 days I have had headaches for 20 of them. I logged taking 98 Advil over the course of those 20 days. (That is just what I've remembered to write down. There may be a few more.) Add to that Fioricet, Maxalt and Axert (all migraine pills) - not a lot of those, just what I happened to have on hand. To say I am READY to see the Neurologist would be an understatement.
Oddly I was nearly headache-free throughout my week's vacation. I don't know if it was because of a lack of stress (although it was still stressful... We spent a LOT of money there)... Or maybe it was the salty air and beach... Or maybe it was just coincidence given the time of the month it happened to fall on... Or maybe I should just incorporate Margaritas into my daily routine at home!! **grin** (I'm kidding mom, don't panic!!)
I do kind of feel like a hypocrite... Preaching to Julie about her overusing medication, and I'm taking upwards of 98 Advil in 20 days. However, I know it's different. I'm not popping Vicoden or Percocet, it's Advil. I'm trying to take medications that are specific for my headache, and logging when I've had them and what I was doing that may have triggered it. (By the way, I myself have not been able to identify any real 'trigger'.)
Julie came over for a visit last night and it really went very well. She wants spaghetti almost every time she comes over, and I've really gotten quite good at timing the dinner perfectly to make it all quickly and finish at the same time. Start the corn on high, ground the beef, preheat the oven. Then when the beef is done, add sauce - putting it on low, turn the corn down to medium and turn on the water. When the water begins to boil, put the bread in the oven, stir the sauce and throw in the pasta. 10 minutes later the bread, sauce and corn are all ready at the same time. :o)
For dessert we had pound cake with whipped cream topped with strawberries and blueberries. I'm really trying to show Julie that choosing somewhat healthy foods doesn't need to be icky all the time. :)
I have had two friends who called to offer to pitch in help with kid related supplies today. Michelle is brining lots of school supplies with her this weekend and Kaye is bringing something from Sam's (don't know if it's the gel/hair supply/body wash kinds of things she brought last time or what - but I'm sure it's going to be VERY helpful). Kaye also mentioned that her brother might like to help and she asked what he could do. Usually when someone offers in person or on the phone, I'm all like "oh, thanks but we are good!" I'm a wimp in person or on the phone. We could be starving and unless you read it in a blog you'd never know if we were just talking. But this time, I said I knew exactly what he could do. Jonathan needs school clothes. Jonathan and Kayte... Probably my two biggest clothes worries as we head into the new school year. So... I asked her her brother could do Target gift cards, that would be awesome. I don't know for sure that he will... But I am hopeful. I find people like Michelle, Evie, Kaye, James, and anyone else who just stepped up to help out in raising these kids.... I find folks like this fascinating. Angels is what they are. And not just them... Any of you who have kept us in prayer... Who have sent well-wishes our way... Who have asked God to help us through something -- you are all Angels as well. Chris and I have FELT the power of prayer and we thank those who help us in this way through our own prayers often.
I hope that one day, many many years from now, Kayla, Justin, Kayte and Jonathan can go back as adults - perhaps with their own kids - and read these blogs and know that it took a VILLAGE to help them become the amazing adults they turned out to be. Let it be said from my lips (errr... Fingers) right here and now that it was NOT Chris and I alone that turned these children around. GOD stepped in first and foremost, and I truly believe that He orchestrated everything from the beginning. From the first phone call, to the DCF workers, the judge, to the amazing people who stepped up like angels to help out from time to time. Chris and I deserve none of the accolades... God deserves every bit of thanks.
Speaking of God... He showed His sense of humor again this week. I... gosh... I shouldn't even tell you this. Sigh.......... I had made a 'deal' with God (yeah, I know I should not do that) about the kids social security money. I kept saying "God, if you made it arrive before *this* date, I'll give you (via the church) 10%." It didn't come and I upped it to 15%. Then 20%. I knew it would happen in God's time, not mine... But I think I felt a bit 'in control' by trying to barter with God. That sounds kinda funny to say it like that... But -- it IS exactly what I did, isn't it?
Well, the money came and none too soon. We were behind on bills... Electricity... Water... House payment... We were exhausted from the many things we have to deal with regarding Doug's things (of which I don't blog about much here)... I assumed the money would easily be spent in one or two little areas and I could give the rest to the church. It didn't work out that way. By the time we caught up on bills, set aside a little for the house tenting (which we have yet to do) -- there was VERY little left. Less than 5% actually. I did give that to the church. And of course I've been feeling guilty ever since.
I mean... Think about it... Making a deal with a family member or friend and not meeting the promise is one thing. Making a deal with a bookie and not meeting the promise might get your legs broken. What on EARTH could happen if your 'deal' was made with God and you couldn't live up to your promises??? Can you IMAGINE?
So... Yeah... I've been racked with guilt privately over this. Then Monday a printer/copier was GIVEN to me. Not just any printer/copier - this is a FANCY heavy-duty expensive one. I found the one UNDER This model (a 4000 series, mine is a 5000 series) sold NEW for over $10,000. Granted this is used - but I quickly thought I could make several hundred dollars minimum very quickly.
My FIRST thought was -- SELL IT!! SELL IT!! Then Chris (my voice of reason) stepped in and said... "Maybe you should see if someone wants it free first." Come on... FREE?????? Give it away?? First I thought he must have still been sleeping, but then I thought of the Church. You know, the one I didn't meet my promise of giving to. Sigh...
So... I emailed the church. Sure enough... They would love to have it. And the funny thing... I didn't put giving this printer together with my lack of a hefty enough financial gift to the church together until just now typing this blog.
Ah... God's sense of humor! Love that!! Do you think God will call us "even" now? Ha ha ha. Seriously... I do believe that IF He really did this for a reason... The reason would be that I would feel less guilt over it. I know that I am truly very hard on myself.
It's thundering yet again... Justin's game may very well be rained out AGAIN. Sigh... Poor Justin just wants to play his last game so he can officially say he is on the BEST baseball team in Tampa. I guess I'll find our shortly if we are going to be sitting at the baseball park all night or if we'll be home for the evening.
I kind of hope home. We are having a purse party at my house this weekend and I want to get it cleaned up. I also have to clean out the closet under the stairs that we keep all the cleaning supplies in as well as the school supplies. Time to make room for the school supplies once again. Fun fun.
I should run. Please keep all of us in your thoughts and prayers. My doctors appointment is Friday at about 10 in the morning... If you want to say a special prayer then, it would be great.
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.
For the past 30 days I have had headaches for 20 of them. I logged taking 98 Advil over the course of those 20 days. (That is just what I've remembered to write down. There may be a few more.) Add to that Fioricet, Maxalt and Axert (all migraine pills) - not a lot of those, just what I happened to have on hand. To say I am READY to see the Neurologist would be an understatement.
Oddly I was nearly headache-free throughout my week's vacation. I don't know if it was because of a lack of stress (although it was still stressful... We spent a LOT of money there)... Or maybe it was the salty air and beach... Or maybe it was just coincidence given the time of the month it happened to fall on... Or maybe I should just incorporate Margaritas into my daily routine at home!! **grin** (I'm kidding mom, don't panic!!)
I do kind of feel like a hypocrite... Preaching to Julie about her overusing medication, and I'm taking upwards of 98 Advil in 20 days. However, I know it's different. I'm not popping Vicoden or Percocet, it's Advil. I'm trying to take medications that are specific for my headache, and logging when I've had them and what I was doing that may have triggered it. (By the way, I myself have not been able to identify any real 'trigger'.)
Julie came over for a visit last night and it really went very well. She wants spaghetti almost every time she comes over, and I've really gotten quite good at timing the dinner perfectly to make it all quickly and finish at the same time. Start the corn on high, ground the beef, preheat the oven. Then when the beef is done, add sauce - putting it on low, turn the corn down to medium and turn on the water. When the water begins to boil, put the bread in the oven, stir the sauce and throw in the pasta. 10 minutes later the bread, sauce and corn are all ready at the same time. :o)
For dessert we had pound cake with whipped cream topped with strawberries and blueberries. I'm really trying to show Julie that choosing somewhat healthy foods doesn't need to be icky all the time. :)
I have had two friends who called to offer to pitch in help with kid related supplies today. Michelle is brining lots of school supplies with her this weekend and Kaye is bringing something from Sam's (don't know if it's the gel/hair supply/body wash kinds of things she brought last time or what - but I'm sure it's going to be VERY helpful). Kaye also mentioned that her brother might like to help and she asked what he could do. Usually when someone offers in person or on the phone, I'm all like "oh, thanks but we are good!" I'm a wimp in person or on the phone. We could be starving and unless you read it in a blog you'd never know if we were just talking. But this time, I said I knew exactly what he could do. Jonathan needs school clothes. Jonathan and Kayte... Probably my two biggest clothes worries as we head into the new school year. So... I asked her her brother could do Target gift cards, that would be awesome. I don't know for sure that he will... But I am hopeful. I find people like Michelle, Evie, Kaye, James, and anyone else who just stepped up to help out in raising these kids.... I find folks like this fascinating. Angels is what they are. And not just them... Any of you who have kept us in prayer... Who have sent well-wishes our way... Who have asked God to help us through something -- you are all Angels as well. Chris and I have FELT the power of prayer and we thank those who help us in this way through our own prayers often.
I hope that one day, many many years from now, Kayla, Justin, Kayte and Jonathan can go back as adults - perhaps with their own kids - and read these blogs and know that it took a VILLAGE to help them become the amazing adults they turned out to be. Let it be said from my lips (errr... Fingers) right here and now that it was NOT Chris and I alone that turned these children around. GOD stepped in first and foremost, and I truly believe that He orchestrated everything from the beginning. From the first phone call, to the DCF workers, the judge, to the amazing people who stepped up like angels to help out from time to time. Chris and I deserve none of the accolades... God deserves every bit of thanks.
Speaking of God... He showed His sense of humor again this week. I... gosh... I shouldn't even tell you this. Sigh.......... I had made a 'deal' with God (yeah, I know I should not do that) about the kids social security money. I kept saying "God, if you made it arrive before *this* date, I'll give you (via the church) 10%." It didn't come and I upped it to 15%. Then 20%. I knew it would happen in God's time, not mine... But I think I felt a bit 'in control' by trying to barter with God. That sounds kinda funny to say it like that... But -- it IS exactly what I did, isn't it?
Well, the money came and none too soon. We were behind on bills... Electricity... Water... House payment... We were exhausted from the many things we have to deal with regarding Doug's things (of which I don't blog about much here)... I assumed the money would easily be spent in one or two little areas and I could give the rest to the church. It didn't work out that way. By the time we caught up on bills, set aside a little for the house tenting (which we have yet to do) -- there was VERY little left. Less than 5% actually. I did give that to the church. And of course I've been feeling guilty ever since.
I mean... Think about it... Making a deal with a family member or friend and not meeting the promise is one thing. Making a deal with a bookie and not meeting the promise might get your legs broken. What on EARTH could happen if your 'deal' was made with God and you couldn't live up to your promises??? Can you IMAGINE?
So... Yeah... I've been racked with guilt privately over this. Then Monday a printer/copier was GIVEN to me. Not just any printer/copier - this is a FANCY heavy-duty expensive one. I found the one UNDER This model (a 4000 series, mine is a 5000 series) sold NEW for over $10,000. Granted this is used - but I quickly thought I could make several hundred dollars minimum very quickly.
My FIRST thought was -- SELL IT!! SELL IT!! Then Chris (my voice of reason) stepped in and said... "Maybe you should see if someone wants it free first." Come on... FREE?????? Give it away?? First I thought he must have still been sleeping, but then I thought of the Church. You know, the one I didn't meet my promise of giving to. Sigh...
So... I emailed the church. Sure enough... They would love to have it. And the funny thing... I didn't put giving this printer together with my lack of a hefty enough financial gift to the church together until just now typing this blog.
Ah... God's sense of humor! Love that!! Do you think God will call us "even" now? Ha ha ha. Seriously... I do believe that IF He really did this for a reason... The reason would be that I would feel less guilt over it. I know that I am truly very hard on myself.
It's thundering yet again... Justin's game may very well be rained out AGAIN. Sigh... Poor Justin just wants to play his last game so he can officially say he is on the BEST baseball team in Tampa. I guess I'll find our shortly if we are going to be sitting at the baseball park all night or if we'll be home for the evening.
I kind of hope home. We are having a purse party at my house this weekend and I want to get it cleaned up. I also have to clean out the closet under the stairs that we keep all the cleaning supplies in as well as the school supplies. Time to make room for the school supplies once again. Fun fun.
I should run. Please keep all of us in your thoughts and prayers. My doctors appointment is Friday at about 10 in the morning... If you want to say a special prayer then, it would be great.
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Teenager Trouble
So... this is frustrating. I worked all morning on a new blog, then lost it and it appears it was not saved anywhere. Frrrrustrating! Let's see if I can remember what all I had blogged about.
Before I get into how Julie is doing, I find it important that I point out again how I feel about Julie. I love my sister Julie with all of my heart. I feel that nearly everything she does is with a pure heart, no ill-will, and with good intention. I think it's important to keep that in mind as I tell you about things that happen. I try to remind the kids ALL the time that their mom really truly IS doing the best she can do - for the most part. With that in mind.....
I found out from someone else that Julie was in the ER the day after she ate dinner / birthday cake at my house. She went in for high blood sugar (her normal has been over 500, so I can't imagine how high it must have been for her to be concerned enough to go to the ER.) However, when she was there for her blood sugar, she asked for Morphine for something (I assume that pain I talked about in her feet last blog. I dunno) I hear they did not give it to her. Of course, the obvious question would be... did she really go in for her blood sugar, or did she go in looking for Morphine. Hmmmm. Anyways....
Last night I'm talking to Julie and she's talking about her headache and the EIGHT Vicoden she took for it yesterday. EIGHT. She said that she needed it for the headache. I told her that IF her head hurt her THAT badly... she should get on some medication designed FOR headaches. She said that Vicoden is what they gave her for it. I mean, she could get on something like Imatrex for Migraines. If it's not a migraine... how about Toradol, a non-narcotic prescription strength pain medication. But -- no -- they keep giving her HABIT-FORMING NARCOTIC PAIN PILLS??!!??!! I just don't GET IT! That drives me NUTS! Sigh....
The other big thing that happened in the phone call is that Julie still wants to get gastric bypass surgery. I should mention here first that I think the gastric bypass procedure is awesome. One of my best friends had it done and I am 100% in favor of people getting this done. however, Julie is different.
Julie doesn't want to watch what she eats now. She refuses to eat foods that are part of a diabetic diet. Refuses to eat anything healthy. She refuses to exercise even in the slightest bit. She INSISTS that - if she had the surgery - she would wake up the day after surgery and *BAM* She's be a changed woman! She would suddenly do whatever they suggested; eat right, eat small portions or the right kinds of foods, etc. Everything will just CHANGE suddenly overnight. Forget the 38 years or so of complete and utter non-compliance - all that will change overnight. ANY reasonable person will tell you that is nonsense.
Julie forgets things SO QUICKLY. She forgets that last time she was set up for the procedure. The surgeon told her that she needed to get a psych. clearance before he could do the surgery. She had to go once a MONTH to the psychiatrist who tried to prepare her mentally for the procedure and for what would come afterwards.
The family knows that Julie lied that entire year. She would tell the doctor she WAS eating well, that she was eating many small meals a day, exercising, whatever the doctor wanted to hear.... while she was truly doing whatever she wanted. I remember her calling me once on the way to an appointment. I asked if she was going to tell the doctor all the horrible things she'd done since her last visit with him. She said "Of course not, I'm going to tell him what he wants to hear. It's the only way I'm going to get the surgery done."
I don't know what happened, but I heard that the Friday before the surgery was scheduled, the Psychiatrist told the surgeon Julie was NOT mentally able to have the surgery. Julie was FURIOUS. She carved the words "Fuck you Dr. XXX" into her stomach as her way of "telling him off" I suppose.
But now Julie thinks the doctors will let her have the surgery. She thinks - again - that she can just "Change overnight". Sounds crazy, right?
In my opinion, Julie needs to do the following, if she is truly serious about getting the procedure done:
1) Start eating right. Eat ONLY foods that are part of a diabetic diet. No sugars, few carbs, no cokes, etc.
2) Begin exercising and taking good care of her body. Granted at her size she can't do much -- but she CAN go for a very small walk. She CAN start very small, making a change to become a little more active than she is currently.
3) Become a compliant patient. Right now her charts are riddled with the words "NON-COMPLIANT". She needs to do everything in her power to do exactly what the doctors tell her to do, each and every single time.
Sadly... the truth is that Julie COULD do all of this and still not be a candidate for surgery. The sad truth is that she really IS very mentally ill and that will NEVER change - even IF she makes the changes above in her lifestyle. But... it's a step in the RIGHT direction, ya know?
Yesterday when I was talking to Justin (and I was supervision the phone call with Julie) she talked about the surgery she wanted. She talked about her eating. Justin tried to tell her what she should and should not be doing. He told her that she needed to eat three times a day, and to eat healthy. That - if she did that - she could lose much of the weight on her own!
Julie was talking about that water cooler up in her bedroom. Much of what Julie needs to live on a day-to-day basis is up in that room. Computer. Fridge. Water cooler. Heck, she might have a microwave up there, I don't remember. It's like a little apartment within a home. Anyways... she was talking about getting the water jug upstairs and how she needed a refill. Arthur (the live-in boy-toy) was not there right now and would be gone for a while. She was debating on going to a neighbors house and asking him to come over and walk the jug upstairs for her. I told her she should be able to take her time and get it upstairs if she tried.
Long story short, she DID get it upstairs, and called me completely out of breath to tell me so. (She was going to get on oxygen after telling me all of this.) She mentioned how she could not possibly GAIN 50 more pounds because she could not IMAGINE carrying that much more weight around with her all the time. Of course, I quickly pointed out that if she LOST 50 bus, she would be carrying around that much LESS with her all the time. Sheesh.....
We had an issue come up with Kayla yesterday. She told us that she was going to go to Adventure Island all day Monday with her boyfriend and his best friend, George. Chris had a feeling yesterday that she was NOT where she was supposed to be. So... we began calling her.
When he finally reached her, he asked her: "Kayla, think about the answer to this question before you answer it. Where were you today?" She answered: "We didn't go to Adventure Island, we stayed at George's house all day."
First of all, we have to give credit to Kayla for telling the truth. However, for NINE hours yesterday we thought she was at Adventure Island, and she was NOT. She was hanging out at a house with two boys.
Chris and I have a couple of golden rules at the house. One of them is that we ARE to know WHERE you are and WHO you are with at all times. Or at least have a "reasonable expectation" of where you are and who you are with. I don't think that is too much to ask, and Chris and I have been good about letting the kids go places as long as we understand where and with whom they are going.
Kayla did NOT meet this reasonable expectation and Chris and I were pretty ding-dang mad about it.
Today I called the house and talked to Kayla - she was crying. She explained that she really didn't think she had done anything wrong. That... she was going to go to Adventure Island, but George's mom wouldn't take them so they ended up staying at his house all day. (I should note here that I did call and talk to his parents yesterday) She tells me that they did NOT purposely do something sneaky and that her punishment was unjust. (Punishment is that she is not allowed to go ANYWHERE right now.)
I told her that - even IF she didn't DO IT intentionally, she was still "missing" yesterday for NINE hours. She still broke the "reasonable expectation" rule.
She thinks we don't trust her . She thinks that we think that she's just out doing this really bad stuff. But - she says - she is just trying to do the right thing. I told her that if she kept her head up high, kept doing the right thing, took her punishment like a good girl, that eventually everything would be just fine.
You have to understand how hard it is when it's not YOUR kids. It's so hard being the Aunt and the parent at the same time.
Speaking of raising kids that are not yours... we had another realization Sunday of how vastly different these kids are from our kids.
Remember once how blogged about how Kayte had gone to the mall and a friend of a friend was there - in a gang - was stabbed and taken away by ambulance. Remember how I said how incomprehensive that was to us... how our kids would NEVER know people who did that sort of thing. Ever.
Sunday Kayte tells us that she is breaking up with her boyfriend because he cheated on her, he got high, and he got shot in the foot.
First of all, this boy is 13 or 14 years old. He's ALREADY cheating on his girlfriend? Secondly, he got HIGH? Smoking at such a young age??? Thirdly, he got SHOT in the foot?? WHAT?? I'm still not clear on that one... I don't know who shot him, with what, etc. But the great news is that Kayte wants nothing to do with someone who would do ANY of these things so she dumped him. Go Kayte!!!
Tonight Justin was supposed to have his Championship baseball game. They won and are in the final game of the championship However, it was rained out and moved to tomorrow. Julie was supposed to come over tomorrow, so she had a choice: come over tonight and eat with us or come over tomorrow and watch Justin's final championship game. Although... I can't imagine Julie on bleachers for 3 hours. Julie did decide to come over tonight, and she wants spaghetti. This means I have to go grocery shopping... grrrrrreat. UGG
The bad news is that Julie was slurring her words and I don't know why. Maybe she was just sleeping (yeah, it's 3pm now).... hopefully it wasn't medication related. Whatever the reason, I hope it's better by 5 pm tonight.
I should run. Please remember to praise God for your blessings.
Before I get into how Julie is doing, I find it important that I point out again how I feel about Julie. I love my sister Julie with all of my heart. I feel that nearly everything she does is with a pure heart, no ill-will, and with good intention. I think it's important to keep that in mind as I tell you about things that happen. I try to remind the kids ALL the time that their mom really truly IS doing the best she can do - for the most part. With that in mind.....
I found out from someone else that Julie was in the ER the day after she ate dinner / birthday cake at my house. She went in for high blood sugar (her normal has been over 500, so I can't imagine how high it must have been for her to be concerned enough to go to the ER.) However, when she was there for her blood sugar, she asked for Morphine for something (I assume that pain I talked about in her feet last blog. I dunno) I hear they did not give it to her. Of course, the obvious question would be... did she really go in for her blood sugar, or did she go in looking for Morphine. Hmmmm. Anyways....
Last night I'm talking to Julie and she's talking about her headache and the EIGHT Vicoden she took for it yesterday. EIGHT. She said that she needed it for the headache. I told her that IF her head hurt her THAT badly... she should get on some medication designed FOR headaches. She said that Vicoden is what they gave her for it. I mean, she could get on something like Imatrex for Migraines. If it's not a migraine... how about Toradol, a non-narcotic prescription strength pain medication. But -- no -- they keep giving her HABIT-FORMING NARCOTIC PAIN PILLS??!!??!! I just don't GET IT! That drives me NUTS! Sigh....
The other big thing that happened in the phone call is that Julie still wants to get gastric bypass surgery. I should mention here first that I think the gastric bypass procedure is awesome. One of my best friends had it done and I am 100% in favor of people getting this done. however, Julie is different.
Julie doesn't want to watch what she eats now. She refuses to eat foods that are part of a diabetic diet. Refuses to eat anything healthy. She refuses to exercise even in the slightest bit. She INSISTS that - if she had the surgery - she would wake up the day after surgery and *BAM* She's be a changed woman! She would suddenly do whatever they suggested; eat right, eat small portions or the right kinds of foods, etc. Everything will just CHANGE suddenly overnight. Forget the 38 years or so of complete and utter non-compliance - all that will change overnight. ANY reasonable person will tell you that is nonsense.
Julie forgets things SO QUICKLY. She forgets that last time she was set up for the procedure. The surgeon told her that she needed to get a psych. clearance before he could do the surgery. She had to go once a MONTH to the psychiatrist who tried to prepare her mentally for the procedure and for what would come afterwards.
The family knows that Julie lied that entire year. She would tell the doctor she WAS eating well, that she was eating many small meals a day, exercising, whatever the doctor wanted to hear.... while she was truly doing whatever she wanted. I remember her calling me once on the way to an appointment. I asked if she was going to tell the doctor all the horrible things she'd done since her last visit with him. She said "Of course not, I'm going to tell him what he wants to hear. It's the only way I'm going to get the surgery done."
I don't know what happened, but I heard that the Friday before the surgery was scheduled, the Psychiatrist told the surgeon Julie was NOT mentally able to have the surgery. Julie was FURIOUS. She carved the words "Fuck you Dr. XXX" into her stomach as her way of "telling him off" I suppose.
But now Julie thinks the doctors will let her have the surgery. She thinks - again - that she can just "Change overnight". Sounds crazy, right?
In my opinion, Julie needs to do the following, if she is truly serious about getting the procedure done:
1) Start eating right. Eat ONLY foods that are part of a diabetic diet. No sugars, few carbs, no cokes, etc.
2) Begin exercising and taking good care of her body. Granted at her size she can't do much -- but she CAN go for a very small walk. She CAN start very small, making a change to become a little more active than she is currently.
3) Become a compliant patient. Right now her charts are riddled with the words "NON-COMPLIANT". She needs to do everything in her power to do exactly what the doctors tell her to do, each and every single time.
Sadly... the truth is that Julie COULD do all of this and still not be a candidate for surgery. The sad truth is that she really IS very mentally ill and that will NEVER change - even IF she makes the changes above in her lifestyle. But... it's a step in the RIGHT direction, ya know?
Yesterday when I was talking to Justin (and I was supervision the phone call with Julie) she talked about the surgery she wanted. She talked about her eating. Justin tried to tell her what she should and should not be doing. He told her that she needed to eat three times a day, and to eat healthy. That - if she did that - she could lose much of the weight on her own!
Julie was talking about that water cooler up in her bedroom. Much of what Julie needs to live on a day-to-day basis is up in that room. Computer. Fridge. Water cooler. Heck, she might have a microwave up there, I don't remember. It's like a little apartment within a home. Anyways... she was talking about getting the water jug upstairs and how she needed a refill. Arthur (the live-in boy-toy) was not there right now and would be gone for a while. She was debating on going to a neighbors house and asking him to come over and walk the jug upstairs for her. I told her she should be able to take her time and get it upstairs if she tried.
Long story short, she DID get it upstairs, and called me completely out of breath to tell me so. (She was going to get on oxygen after telling me all of this.) She mentioned how she could not possibly GAIN 50 more pounds because she could not IMAGINE carrying that much more weight around with her all the time. Of course, I quickly pointed out that if she LOST 50 bus, she would be carrying around that much LESS with her all the time. Sheesh.....
We had an issue come up with Kayla yesterday. She told us that she was going to go to Adventure Island all day Monday with her boyfriend and his best friend, George. Chris had a feeling yesterday that she was NOT where she was supposed to be. So... we began calling her.
When he finally reached her, he asked her: "Kayla, think about the answer to this question before you answer it. Where were you today?" She answered: "We didn't go to Adventure Island, we stayed at George's house all day."
First of all, we have to give credit to Kayla for telling the truth. However, for NINE hours yesterday we thought she was at Adventure Island, and she was NOT. She was hanging out at a house with two boys.
Chris and I have a couple of golden rules at the house. One of them is that we ARE to know WHERE you are and WHO you are with at all times. Or at least have a "reasonable expectation" of where you are and who you are with. I don't think that is too much to ask, and Chris and I have been good about letting the kids go places as long as we understand where and with whom they are going.
Kayla did NOT meet this reasonable expectation and Chris and I were pretty ding-dang mad about it.
Today I called the house and talked to Kayla - she was crying. She explained that she really didn't think she had done anything wrong. That... she was going to go to Adventure Island, but George's mom wouldn't take them so they ended up staying at his house all day. (I should note here that I did call and talk to his parents yesterday) She tells me that they did NOT purposely do something sneaky and that her punishment was unjust. (Punishment is that she is not allowed to go ANYWHERE right now.)
I told her that - even IF she didn't DO IT intentionally, she was still "missing" yesterday for NINE hours. She still broke the "reasonable expectation" rule.
She thinks we don't trust her . She thinks that we think that she's just out doing this really bad stuff. But - she says - she is just trying to do the right thing. I told her that if she kept her head up high, kept doing the right thing, took her punishment like a good girl, that eventually everything would be just fine.
You have to understand how hard it is when it's not YOUR kids. It's so hard being the Aunt and the parent at the same time.
Speaking of raising kids that are not yours... we had another realization Sunday of how vastly different these kids are from our kids.
Remember once how blogged about how Kayte had gone to the mall and a friend of a friend was there - in a gang - was stabbed and taken away by ambulance. Remember how I said how incomprehensive that was to us... how our kids would NEVER know people who did that sort of thing. Ever.
Sunday Kayte tells us that she is breaking up with her boyfriend because he cheated on her, he got high, and he got shot in the foot.
First of all, this boy is 13 or 14 years old. He's ALREADY cheating on his girlfriend? Secondly, he got HIGH? Smoking at such a young age??? Thirdly, he got SHOT in the foot?? WHAT?? I'm still not clear on that one... I don't know who shot him, with what, etc. But the great news is that Kayte wants nothing to do with someone who would do ANY of these things so she dumped him. Go Kayte!!!
Tonight Justin was supposed to have his Championship baseball game. They won and are in the final game of the championship However, it was rained out and moved to tomorrow. Julie was supposed to come over tomorrow, so she had a choice: come over tonight and eat with us or come over tomorrow and watch Justin's final championship game. Although... I can't imagine Julie on bleachers for 3 hours. Julie did decide to come over tonight, and she wants spaghetti. This means I have to go grocery shopping... grrrrrreat. UGG
The bad news is that Julie was slurring her words and I don't know why. Maybe she was just sleeping (yeah, it's 3pm now).... hopefully it wasn't medication related. Whatever the reason, I hope it's better by 5 pm tonight.
I should run. Please remember to praise God for your blessings.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
First Visit In Ages
Last night Julie came over for her first visit in - I don't even know how long - I'd have to go back and look at my blogs. It seems like forever since Julie was last at the house for a visit.
Things went pretty well, all things considered. The night before she was talking to Justin on the phone (I was listening in of course) and she mentioned that she was hungry because the only thing she'd eaten all day was BROWNIES. I un-muted the phone and began giving her the riot act. She's been out of the hospital a whole day and a half, her Diabetes was totally out of control, even while in the hospital under 24 hour a day nursing, doctors care, and lest we forget the strict Diabetic diet she was forced to adhere to. Even under THOSE circumstances, they couldn't keep her blood sugar in the 'safe zone'. Yet one day home and she's eating nothing but brownies? Come on!!
She talked about how she 'needed' it. She deserved it. She hadn't had good food in so long, at the hospital they made her eat such icky food, she 'needed it'. Sigh...
I could hear Arthur (her live-in 'boy-toy') in the background yelling, trying to tell us what she had purchased at the grocery store that day: brownies, chocolate, junk food, etc. Nothing healthy. He said over and over again that we were wasting our breath trying to talk Julie into choosing to eat healthy at home. So... We dropped it.
When we hung up the phone, Justin made mention of how - when it comes to things like this (food/eating) that his mom sometimes acts like a child. I explained that I honestly felt that his mom couldn't TRULY understand the long-term effects of her decisions in the here and now. And, yes, that is very much like a child. But... She's 38, and that is harder to swallow. Common sense tells you that if you blood sugar is over 500 you should not eat brownies for breakfast/lunch/dinner. But, I suppose she lacks that sense. Sigh...
She asked that we PLEASE have birthday cake for her at her dinner Wednesday night. After hearing all of this... I was reluctant, and even gave her a hard time - telling her I was tempted to get a banana and put birthday candles in it. But I knew I would end up making her a cake, and I vowed to just give her one piece.
She came over for her visit last night and -- I don't know how to say this nicely -- she was the largest I have ever seen her. Ever. She said that she's not really at the heaviest weight she's ever been... She has been heavier. I told her that perhaps it was the steroids she was on that was causing her to look more 'swollen' - but that she looked extremely heavy. Our other sister Katie came over as well and said the same thing. Katie and I were both extremely concerned for Julie's health when we saw her.
Funny story here is that after dinner, we had the birthday cake. Julie insisted on having a second piece. We all told her no, and she made a fuss about it. She really really really wanted another piece of chocolate cake. My sister Katie then said "How about I just hand you a gun Julie, that would be faster!" Oh my GOSH I laughed my butt off at that one. End result, we gave her the cake and she ate what she wanted.
Julie's major complaint after getting out of the hospital has been "My feet and ankles hurt". Julie thinks it might be from being in a hospital bed for two weeks and now she's up and about; I agree that it might be that, but I also think it might have everything to do with her weight. You really can't put an extra 200 lbs. on a body and expect no repercussions. The feet and ankles support all the added weight.
Julie stressed over and over again that she needed a job - she needed money -- BADLY. I really did feel sorry for her. She pretty much begged Katie to get her a job at SunTrust bank. Katie tried to explain to Julie that she was not 'bank' material... That she needed to look into other kinds of work.
The problem with Julie's working (other than the fact she doesn't have a diploma or GED) is that she needs a job where - when she goes into the hospital for a week because of her blood sugar, she won't lose the job. But what kind of a job offers that?? Hardly any. Julie kept saying "I'm not going back into the hospital!" and stated that she was going to stay out of the mental hospital. I tried to explain to her that she's had a LOT of medical hospitalizations as of late... And that she needed to prepare for those kinds of things - to think about it before she takes the job and is fired a few weeks later because they didn't expect her to be gone so much. To which Julie replied "I haven't been in the hospital a lot lately because of medical problems". There were 4 of us in the room when she said that, Katie, myself, Chris and one of the kids.... All of us - pretty much at the same time - said "WHAT????" Sometimes she just lives in her own little world... Her own reality.
Later in the night, after Katie had left, the kids were upstairs playing, and it was just Chris, Julie and I sitting in the living room, we were able to talk some more. I told Julie that she needed to face reality... She IS going to be in the hospital for SOMETHING often. Medical. Mental. Something. She needs to keep that in mind when looking for a job. We threw out several ideas... Going to get her GED - trying to go to college (which we explained the government would pay for) - working from home - or working in the nursing field.
I then remembered that when the kids were younger, Julie worked from home on the phone. She did a few things - one of them being an operator on a 'chat line'. People call up and want to talk to someone who will just listen. Julie was VERY good at this.
I'll never forget the one time she patched me through via 3-way call on a guy who lived in Texas or something like that. He wanted someone to listen to the music he wrote. He wanted someone to tell him he was good. He wanted someone to just sit and listen and at the end of the song applaud and tell him that he should cut an album or something because he has talent.
He played guitar and sang. Julie listened. In the background I could hear small children playing and a wife who sounded like she was working on dishes. I assume the wife didn't want to hear him play. I could picture this man, working a 'real job' and strumming guitar at night hoping to catch a break. The wife, wanting only for him to work 9 - 5 and bring home enough money to support the family, probably didn't want to encourage him to sing/play guitar. But, for only $3.99 a minute (or whatever they charged) Julie was there on the other end... Encouraging... Applauding... Listening. And then she'd ask for another song - and the clock kept ticking and she was making money. She was good at it, she really was.
Sure, she did other things... I know she did a sex line once. I don't know if she ever did the Psychic line, but it wouldn't surprise me if she did. But... Here is a job she could do, she's good at, and she could work her own hours. Heck, she could be in the hospital even and have calls forwarded to her cell phone!
Julie did like this idea and she is currently looking into it. I really hope she does get this job because I think it fits her --- circumstances and limitations. :o)
At one point Julie broke into tears talking about how she had no money. Chris and I both felt terrible for her. At the same time, Chris and I both looked at each other and knew... We wanted to give her whatever money we had in our pockets. I know other people in the family might think that it was stupid, or maybe even wrong. She had money to go out and buy boxes of brownies, right? But... all I can tell you is that it felt God-Guided. For Chris and I -- the two who have been through EVERYTHING with Julie in recent years -- the two who could easily be the two most fed-up with her -- for us both to have the same thought at the same moment without saying a word to each other -- felt God inspired. So we did just that. Gave her what little money we had on us. She was extremely grateful and I feel very fulfilled having helped her in some small way.
There was was one other thing that happened that was quite odd. Julie sat down with Chris and my sister Katie and myself. She had something she wanted to tell us about Kayla. What 'it' was is not important - but Julie seemed.... How do I describe it?... She seemed smug in the knowledge that she knew something about Kayla that we did not know. She made mention several times about how she's "known about this for years" but we knew nothing about it. To the point where my sister Katie asked her what her problem was... she seemed to be gloating about that fact that she knew something we didn't. Again, what 'it' was was nothing earth-shattering and us now having the knowledge changes nothing... It was just very ODD the way she acted about having the 'information' to begin with.
Then there is the phone calls. Sigh....
Julie KNOWS that she is not allowed to talk to the kids unless I am supervising. The court has told me that it's already "implied" that way in the court order, and that we could 'go to court to make it more well defined'... However... We would risk the judge getting upset and terminating parental rights all together. Chris and I are really trying to do the BEST thing for the kids in allowing them to talk to their mom while simply supervising the conversation. Even Kayte's therapist said that "supervised" conversations would be beneficial, and that non-supervised conversations could be damaging - as could not talking to her mom at all. So... We are TRYING to do the 'right thing' here.
Last night Julie said something at the table about talking to Kayte on the phone. (Kayte is in Miami for 2 weeks) My sister Katie asked how we were monitoring the phone calls, given the fact that it's her cell phone, she is in Miami and we are in Tampa. Julie said that she "couldn't possibly be expected to not talk to her for the two weeks" and so that she HAD to talk to her.
I sat quietly... I know Julie is breaking the rules. I know she calls when I'm not there. I know she calls Kayte on her cell phone, I know she has called for Justin on his friend Sean's cell phone (I've been there before when Sean received the call). I'm not an idiot. Yet... I allow this to happen and say nothing. I've been really bad about that, and frankly, I'm not sure WHY?!
Part of me thinks Julie wouldn't say anything to really 'hurt' the kids. Then I think about the countless things that have been done and said over the past two years. SURE she could. Granted not purposely to hurt them, but it happens none-the-less.
Simply allowing all of them the time to 'parent' Julie by them telling her that she needs to eat better... Needs to take care of herself... Needs to take her medication as directed... Needs to go to the Doctor's or Hospital when she's instructed by medical professionals to do so. That IS detrimental to their well-being. I know this.
Yet... Still I allow the calls. Okay... Now I'm getting down on myself. I think I'm going to take a moment and send Julie a note telling her exactly how I feel about it. Or better yet, just simply stating "don't do this again".
Okay, that's exactly what I just did, and I do feel better! It's funny... I can almost hear Julie telling me how much 'better' she is right now. How much 'better' everything is right now. It's hard to fathom that only a month ago one of her kids was slitting their wrists. I was just reading a blog from May, only 2 months ago, where the police were looking for her to baker's act her and she was hiding - they were going to take down the door. It's amazing how quickly things around here change. Mind boggling. That, I suppose, is one of the reasons I started keeping the blog. Every day seemed to be a month long in the events that happened.
Sigh...
I wanted to take a moment as well to publicly thank a long-time blog reader, Charmaine, who 'donated' lots of food last night. Milk, cereal, cheese, juice, peanut butter, all important staples in our home. Thanks so much girl! Tell that mean-old boss of yours that you are doing 'God's work' when you read my blog at work and she should cut you some slack! LOL (My sister Katie is her boss)
Everything else with us Rhocchini's is going well. The kids are going a wee bit stir crazy being out of school so long with no summer camp or anything, but they'll be fine. As we gear up for school, I would like to ask that if anyone wants to donate anything for the kids school, I am more than grateful. All four will be headed to high school and two of them are in dire need of school clothes. An entire wardrobe worth of school clothes. Then there is the school supplies... Oh lordy... I just can't think about all this right now.
I'm sitting her laughing at myself... I can't believe I told you all the St. Dymphna story. Gosh that just cracks me up every time I think of it. I do hope you all enjoyed that as much as I enjoyed sharing it.
UGG... I've been working with Doug's health care provider to get him a power wheelchair. I just got off the phone with them. They put in the order for the power wheelchair in May. But first they required Doug do physical therapy to see how much better he could get. His last day of Physical Therapy was 6/22. "How did he do?" you ask? He's actually worse... Weaker... Less able to move about. It's really sad. He NEEDS a power wheelchair to be able to zip around that Assisted Living Facility, he'd be a much happier guy. So she tells me that 'thank goodness you called because we appear to have dropped the ball'. Ya THINK? Come on... This poor guy needs a little help.
Also, I didn't report that Chris and I went to see him again this past weekend and Doug was pretty angry. When asked why he was so angry he said that it was because we haven't been to see him in 6 months. But in reality, it had been a little over a week (we were on vacation remember)... And Doug just simply forgot. How sad he must be thinking that it's been such a long time. But Chris was GREAT with him, reminding him about things they talked about at the last visit. He's so patient with his dad, so loving and so patient. :o)
I better run. We have a ton to do tonight. Chris and I have rehearsal for Praise Team at Church and I can't WAIT. It seems like forever since we last sang, and I miss it terribly. Also going on tonight, Jono has a doctors appointment, Kayla is going to work, Justin has baseball practice. And Chris, bless his heart, is taking care of ALL of this. What a GUY!
Please keep Julie and the kids in your prayers, as well as Doug. And while you are at it... Please say a prayer for Chris. He's going through a lot of stress (having nothing to do with any of this stuff) right now and I'm sure your prayers will uplift him.
Things went pretty well, all things considered. The night before she was talking to Justin on the phone (I was listening in of course) and she mentioned that she was hungry because the only thing she'd eaten all day was BROWNIES. I un-muted the phone and began giving her the riot act. She's been out of the hospital a whole day and a half, her Diabetes was totally out of control, even while in the hospital under 24 hour a day nursing, doctors care, and lest we forget the strict Diabetic diet she was forced to adhere to. Even under THOSE circumstances, they couldn't keep her blood sugar in the 'safe zone'. Yet one day home and she's eating nothing but brownies? Come on!!
She talked about how she 'needed' it. She deserved it. She hadn't had good food in so long, at the hospital they made her eat such icky food, she 'needed it'. Sigh...
I could hear Arthur (her live-in 'boy-toy') in the background yelling, trying to tell us what she had purchased at the grocery store that day: brownies, chocolate, junk food, etc. Nothing healthy. He said over and over again that we were wasting our breath trying to talk Julie into choosing to eat healthy at home. So... We dropped it.
When we hung up the phone, Justin made mention of how - when it comes to things like this (food/eating) that his mom sometimes acts like a child. I explained that I honestly felt that his mom couldn't TRULY understand the long-term effects of her decisions in the here and now. And, yes, that is very much like a child. But... She's 38, and that is harder to swallow. Common sense tells you that if you blood sugar is over 500 you should not eat brownies for breakfast/lunch/dinner. But, I suppose she lacks that sense. Sigh...
She asked that we PLEASE have birthday cake for her at her dinner Wednesday night. After hearing all of this... I was reluctant, and even gave her a hard time - telling her I was tempted to get a banana and put birthday candles in it. But I knew I would end up making her a cake, and I vowed to just give her one piece.
She came over for her visit last night and -- I don't know how to say this nicely -- she was the largest I have ever seen her. Ever. She said that she's not really at the heaviest weight she's ever been... She has been heavier. I told her that perhaps it was the steroids she was on that was causing her to look more 'swollen' - but that she looked extremely heavy. Our other sister Katie came over as well and said the same thing. Katie and I were both extremely concerned for Julie's health when we saw her.
Funny story here is that after dinner, we had the birthday cake. Julie insisted on having a second piece. We all told her no, and she made a fuss about it. She really really really wanted another piece of chocolate cake. My sister Katie then said "How about I just hand you a gun Julie, that would be faster!" Oh my GOSH I laughed my butt off at that one. End result, we gave her the cake and she ate what she wanted.
Julie's major complaint after getting out of the hospital has been "My feet and ankles hurt". Julie thinks it might be from being in a hospital bed for two weeks and now she's up and about; I agree that it might be that, but I also think it might have everything to do with her weight. You really can't put an extra 200 lbs. on a body and expect no repercussions. The feet and ankles support all the added weight.
Julie stressed over and over again that she needed a job - she needed money -- BADLY. I really did feel sorry for her. She pretty much begged Katie to get her a job at SunTrust bank. Katie tried to explain to Julie that she was not 'bank' material... That she needed to look into other kinds of work.
The problem with Julie's working (other than the fact she doesn't have a diploma or GED) is that she needs a job where - when she goes into the hospital for a week because of her blood sugar, she won't lose the job. But what kind of a job offers that?? Hardly any. Julie kept saying "I'm not going back into the hospital!" and stated that she was going to stay out of the mental hospital. I tried to explain to her that she's had a LOT of medical hospitalizations as of late... And that she needed to prepare for those kinds of things - to think about it before she takes the job and is fired a few weeks later because they didn't expect her to be gone so much. To which Julie replied "I haven't been in the hospital a lot lately because of medical problems". There were 4 of us in the room when she said that, Katie, myself, Chris and one of the kids.... All of us - pretty much at the same time - said "WHAT????" Sometimes she just lives in her own little world... Her own reality.
Later in the night, after Katie had left, the kids were upstairs playing, and it was just Chris, Julie and I sitting in the living room, we were able to talk some more. I told Julie that she needed to face reality... She IS going to be in the hospital for SOMETHING often. Medical. Mental. Something. She needs to keep that in mind when looking for a job. We threw out several ideas... Going to get her GED - trying to go to college (which we explained the government would pay for) - working from home - or working in the nursing field.
I then remembered that when the kids were younger, Julie worked from home on the phone. She did a few things - one of them being an operator on a 'chat line'. People call up and want to talk to someone who will just listen. Julie was VERY good at this.
I'll never forget the one time she patched me through via 3-way call on a guy who lived in Texas or something like that. He wanted someone to listen to the music he wrote. He wanted someone to tell him he was good. He wanted someone to just sit and listen and at the end of the song applaud and tell him that he should cut an album or something because he has talent.
He played guitar and sang. Julie listened. In the background I could hear small children playing and a wife who sounded like she was working on dishes. I assume the wife didn't want to hear him play. I could picture this man, working a 'real job' and strumming guitar at night hoping to catch a break. The wife, wanting only for him to work 9 - 5 and bring home enough money to support the family, probably didn't want to encourage him to sing/play guitar. But, for only $3.99 a minute (or whatever they charged) Julie was there on the other end... Encouraging... Applauding... Listening. And then she'd ask for another song - and the clock kept ticking and she was making money. She was good at it, she really was.
Sure, she did other things... I know she did a sex line once. I don't know if she ever did the Psychic line, but it wouldn't surprise me if she did. But... Here is a job she could do, she's good at, and she could work her own hours. Heck, she could be in the hospital even and have calls forwarded to her cell phone!
Julie did like this idea and she is currently looking into it. I really hope she does get this job because I think it fits her --- circumstances and limitations. :o)
At one point Julie broke into tears talking about how she had no money. Chris and I both felt terrible for her. At the same time, Chris and I both looked at each other and knew... We wanted to give her whatever money we had in our pockets. I know other people in the family might think that it was stupid, or maybe even wrong. She had money to go out and buy boxes of brownies, right? But... all I can tell you is that it felt God-Guided. For Chris and I -- the two who have been through EVERYTHING with Julie in recent years -- the two who could easily be the two most fed-up with her -- for us both to have the same thought at the same moment without saying a word to each other -- felt God inspired. So we did just that. Gave her what little money we had on us. She was extremely grateful and I feel very fulfilled having helped her in some small way.
There was was one other thing that happened that was quite odd. Julie sat down with Chris and my sister Katie and myself. She had something she wanted to tell us about Kayla. What 'it' was is not important - but Julie seemed.... How do I describe it?... She seemed smug in the knowledge that she knew something about Kayla that we did not know. She made mention several times about how she's "known about this for years" but we knew nothing about it. To the point where my sister Katie asked her what her problem was... she seemed to be gloating about that fact that she knew something we didn't. Again, what 'it' was was nothing earth-shattering and us now having the knowledge changes nothing... It was just very ODD the way she acted about having the 'information' to begin with.
Then there is the phone calls. Sigh....
Julie KNOWS that she is not allowed to talk to the kids unless I am supervising. The court has told me that it's already "implied" that way in the court order, and that we could 'go to court to make it more well defined'... However... We would risk the judge getting upset and terminating parental rights all together. Chris and I are really trying to do the BEST thing for the kids in allowing them to talk to their mom while simply supervising the conversation. Even Kayte's therapist said that "supervised" conversations would be beneficial, and that non-supervised conversations could be damaging - as could not talking to her mom at all. So... We are TRYING to do the 'right thing' here.
Last night Julie said something at the table about talking to Kayte on the phone. (Kayte is in Miami for 2 weeks) My sister Katie asked how we were monitoring the phone calls, given the fact that it's her cell phone, she is in Miami and we are in Tampa. Julie said that she "couldn't possibly be expected to not talk to her for the two weeks" and so that she HAD to talk to her.
I sat quietly... I know Julie is breaking the rules. I know she calls when I'm not there. I know she calls Kayte on her cell phone, I know she has called for Justin on his friend Sean's cell phone (I've been there before when Sean received the call). I'm not an idiot. Yet... I allow this to happen and say nothing. I've been really bad about that, and frankly, I'm not sure WHY?!
Part of me thinks Julie wouldn't say anything to really 'hurt' the kids. Then I think about the countless things that have been done and said over the past two years. SURE she could. Granted not purposely to hurt them, but it happens none-the-less.
Simply allowing all of them the time to 'parent' Julie by them telling her that she needs to eat better... Needs to take care of herself... Needs to take her medication as directed... Needs to go to the Doctor's or Hospital when she's instructed by medical professionals to do so. That IS detrimental to their well-being. I know this.
Yet... Still I allow the calls. Okay... Now I'm getting down on myself. I think I'm going to take a moment and send Julie a note telling her exactly how I feel about it. Or better yet, just simply stating "don't do this again".
Okay, that's exactly what I just did, and I do feel better! It's funny... I can almost hear Julie telling me how much 'better' she is right now. How much 'better' everything is right now. It's hard to fathom that only a month ago one of her kids was slitting their wrists. I was just reading a blog from May, only 2 months ago, where the police were looking for her to baker's act her and she was hiding - they were going to take down the door. It's amazing how quickly things around here change. Mind boggling. That, I suppose, is one of the reasons I started keeping the blog. Every day seemed to be a month long in the events that happened.
Sigh...
I wanted to take a moment as well to publicly thank a long-time blog reader, Charmaine, who 'donated' lots of food last night. Milk, cereal, cheese, juice, peanut butter, all important staples in our home. Thanks so much girl! Tell that mean-old boss of yours that you are doing 'God's work' when you read my blog at work and she should cut you some slack! LOL (My sister Katie is her boss)
Everything else with us Rhocchini's is going well. The kids are going a wee bit stir crazy being out of school so long with no summer camp or anything, but they'll be fine. As we gear up for school, I would like to ask that if anyone wants to donate anything for the kids school, I am more than grateful. All four will be headed to high school and two of them are in dire need of school clothes. An entire wardrobe worth of school clothes. Then there is the school supplies... Oh lordy... I just can't think about all this right now.
I'm sitting her laughing at myself... I can't believe I told you all the St. Dymphna story. Gosh that just cracks me up every time I think of it. I do hope you all enjoyed that as much as I enjoyed sharing it.
UGG... I've been working with Doug's health care provider to get him a power wheelchair. I just got off the phone with them. They put in the order for the power wheelchair in May. But first they required Doug do physical therapy to see how much better he could get. His last day of Physical Therapy was 6/22. "How did he do?" you ask? He's actually worse... Weaker... Less able to move about. It's really sad. He NEEDS a power wheelchair to be able to zip around that Assisted Living Facility, he'd be a much happier guy. So she tells me that 'thank goodness you called because we appear to have dropped the ball'. Ya THINK? Come on... This poor guy needs a little help.
Also, I didn't report that Chris and I went to see him again this past weekend and Doug was pretty angry. When asked why he was so angry he said that it was because we haven't been to see him in 6 months. But in reality, it had been a little over a week (we were on vacation remember)... And Doug just simply forgot. How sad he must be thinking that it's been such a long time. But Chris was GREAT with him, reminding him about things they talked about at the last visit. He's so patient with his dad, so loving and so patient. :o)
I better run. We have a ton to do tonight. Chris and I have rehearsal for Praise Team at Church and I can't WAIT. It seems like forever since we last sang, and I miss it terribly. Also going on tonight, Jono has a doctors appointment, Kayla is going to work, Justin has baseball practice. And Chris, bless his heart, is taking care of ALL of this. What a GUY!
Please keep Julie and the kids in your prayers, as well as Doug. And while you are at it... Please say a prayer for Chris. He's going through a lot of stress (having nothing to do with any of this stuff) right now and I'm sure your prayers will uplift him.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Coincidence? Or The Plan??
I've been meaning to blog about this story for a while, and everything has been so crazy and I usually only have time to post 'happenings' not stories. But... this one came up recently as one 'freaky thing' that happened in my life that took YEARS to unfold before the full 'freakishness' actually came to light.
You all know I have two sisters... Julie who is mentally ill whom I blog about often. Katie is normal as can be except one thing......... she has this sleepwalking issue. Well, medically it's defined as "night terrors". Here is her story, then I'll fill you in on the freaky part.
When Katie was a little girl, she had typical sleepwalking episodes. When she got older, she lived on her own (with various girlfriends sharing apartments) and would wake up with bruises all over her. The full extent of what was happening to her didn't really come to light until she moved in with a boyfriend who lived in the Orlando area. He would tell her that she was up screaming at night, saying someone was chasing her or screaming that bugs were all over her. Katie remembered nothing.
After she broke up with this boyfriend she got her own place; an apartment on the third floor of a complex in Orlando. One night we got a call...... from Orlando's Homicide Police Detectives. Gulp. You can't imagine how the family felt to get this phone call.
Katie had gotten up at night and somehow ran THROUGH her bedroom window, falling 3 stories to the ground. If you could see where she fell - you'd be amazed. There was a big bush just ahead of where she fell, an AC unit to the right and PVC plumbing/piping to the left. Had she fallen in ANY area other than exactly where she fell... she'd have died instantly. To this day, Katie believes Angels guided her to her safe patch of ground below.
When she hit the ground, she was still sleeping.
A man from an apartment below her who was sleeping heard crying and thought he left a TV on. He got up only to find his TV was not on. Nor was the radio. He opened the front door, and there stood Katie, covered head to toe in blood. Still sleeping mind you. He called 911 and the paramedics arrived to pick her up. Katie's first memory after going to bed that night was IN the ambulance. Yes, she was sleeping through the whole ordeal.
Katie suffered massive injuries. One arm had the skin from most of the hand gone. Apparently as she fell through the window she tried to grab the glass. The other arm is the one she fell on and was badly broken. She had damage to a lot more of her body as well, as I'm sure you can imagine. The homicide police did not believe the family in saying that she had these 'night terrors'... they were investigating because they believed she had been pushed out the window. Of course, they later put together all the pieces and realized that she really had this very odd condition.
She tried to live on her own after that... but found it very difficult. One arm broken, the other arm needing multiple surgeries to reattach skin, skin grafts to repair many other kind of things.... she was in really bad shape and had NO hands. You really learn what kind of friends you have when you are in the bathroom and can't do anything, and I do mean a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g -- on your own.
Katie moved in with us for a while while she recuperated. It was stressful for us as well at the time... we tried EVERYTHING to keep her safe. We put alarms on her bedroom door... alarms on the front door.... even tried handcuffing her feet to the bed (at her request). Often times while she lived with us, we'd wake up to the sound of a screaming woman (Katie) who was running all over the house, often times she'd hit the front door and run down the street. We tried, but couldn't 'wake her up out of it'... if a 3 story fall that nearly killed her didn't wake her, no amount of our yelling or shaking was going to do the trick either.
Over the years, Katie has improved. She now sees a doctor for it and takes medication to help.
Okay, one more funny story about it and then promise I'll tell you the freaky part.
Katie fell in love with Tony - a great guy she knew in High School. They were engaged to be married, and Tony's family was from Puerto Rico and knew nothing of her 'sleeping disorder'. Katie hoped it would stay that way. I mean... how do you explain something like that? Anyways......
Katie went with Tony to Puerto Rico with their infant daughter. They were staying in some awesome tents on the beach in beautiful Puerto Rico. Then one night...... it happened.
Katie had gone to bed with the baby in one tent. Tony was up at night playing Dominoes with the other men in the family on the beach. He heard the screams and I'm sure Tony knew what was happening. Katie had an episode and was ripping her way through the tent she was sleeping in. I'm sure there was chaos as Tony's family tried to grasp what might be happening. Katie, sleeping and unaware of which way the door was in the tent, ripped through the wrong side of one tent, then ripped another tent before grabbing the baby. My understanding is that by the time Tony arrived Katie was in a fetal position cradling the baby inside a tent that was torn apart.
Needless to say, Tony's family learned of her disorder first-hand as they witnessed it themselves. Too funny.
So... the freaky part.......
I grew up Catholic. When it came time for confirmation... I forget how old I was but in reading now I see it's generally between the age of 7 and 15.... I had to choose a confirmation name. All students were assigned to pick the name of a Saint whom they wanted to be named after. The church tells you that your patron saint is who you pray for for certain things. If you are struggling in your marriage, you might pray to the patron saint of happy marriages: St. Valentine. If you are a musician you can pray to the patron saint of musicians: St. Cecilia. Often times saints are given multiple things to be patrons over.
Per the Catholic Church: "You choose the name of a saint who inspires you. This symbolizes a new beginning in your faith life and a connection with that saint. This new name would be used after your present middle name and before your family (last) name. Added to your Christian name, it gives you a heavenly patron who you should endeavor (try) to imitate. The name you choose should represent the direction you feel your faith life is taking, or represent a strength or attribute you feel you need." The Catholic Church of course cautioned against taking a name purely for fun - we were instructed to choose wisely.
Of course......... I didn't listen. I picked St. Dymphna. I picked her because her name was COOL and because everyone else was picking normal names when there were TONS of really cool names out there. Who needs St. Mary? St. Luke? St. Elizabeth? I had DYMPHNA! Even as the Bishop was confirming me he took pause to read my Saint's name and gave me a very odd look. A look that kind of said "are you kidding me??" I thought it was cool. Cool and funny.
I found out as an adult what Saint Dymphna represents... and it's not so funny anymore. She is the patron saint of -- sleepwalking, sleepwalkers, mental disorders, mental health caregivers, mentally ill people, mental hospitals and loss of parents.
Can someone tell me it's just a coincidence?? Really???
Back when I picked this Saint I had ABSOLUTELY no idea that Julie was mentally ill nor that Katie was going to be a sleepwalker. No idea that I was going to - in some role or another - end up being a caregiver for both sisters at some point in their lives. That the kids I would have here - raising - would be dealing with a loss of a parent. How many times I would be looking up to the heavens praying for guidance in hundreds of instances throughout my adult life - and NEEDING guidance from the very saint that I picked as a young child - picked as a joke.
I suppose one could say that it's another fine example of God's sense of humor.
I just LOVE God's sense of humor!
You all know I have two sisters... Julie who is mentally ill whom I blog about often. Katie is normal as can be except one thing......... she has this sleepwalking issue. Well, medically it's defined as "night terrors". Here is her story, then I'll fill you in on the freaky part.
When Katie was a little girl, she had typical sleepwalking episodes. When she got older, she lived on her own (with various girlfriends sharing apartments) and would wake up with bruises all over her. The full extent of what was happening to her didn't really come to light until she moved in with a boyfriend who lived in the Orlando area. He would tell her that she was up screaming at night, saying someone was chasing her or screaming that bugs were all over her. Katie remembered nothing.
After she broke up with this boyfriend she got her own place; an apartment on the third floor of a complex in Orlando. One night we got a call...... from Orlando's Homicide Police Detectives. Gulp. You can't imagine how the family felt to get this phone call.
Katie had gotten up at night and somehow ran THROUGH her bedroom window, falling 3 stories to the ground. If you could see where she fell - you'd be amazed. There was a big bush just ahead of where she fell, an AC unit to the right and PVC plumbing/piping to the left. Had she fallen in ANY area other than exactly where she fell... she'd have died instantly. To this day, Katie believes Angels guided her to her safe patch of ground below.
When she hit the ground, she was still sleeping.
A man from an apartment below her who was sleeping heard crying and thought he left a TV on. He got up only to find his TV was not on. Nor was the radio. He opened the front door, and there stood Katie, covered head to toe in blood. Still sleeping mind you. He called 911 and the paramedics arrived to pick her up. Katie's first memory after going to bed that night was IN the ambulance. Yes, she was sleeping through the whole ordeal.
Katie suffered massive injuries. One arm had the skin from most of the hand gone. Apparently as she fell through the window she tried to grab the glass. The other arm is the one she fell on and was badly broken. She had damage to a lot more of her body as well, as I'm sure you can imagine. The homicide police did not believe the family in saying that she had these 'night terrors'... they were investigating because they believed she had been pushed out the window. Of course, they later put together all the pieces and realized that she really had this very odd condition.
She tried to live on her own after that... but found it very difficult. One arm broken, the other arm needing multiple surgeries to reattach skin, skin grafts to repair many other kind of things.... she was in really bad shape and had NO hands. You really learn what kind of friends you have when you are in the bathroom and can't do anything, and I do mean a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g -- on your own.
Katie moved in with us for a while while she recuperated. It was stressful for us as well at the time... we tried EVERYTHING to keep her safe. We put alarms on her bedroom door... alarms on the front door.... even tried handcuffing her feet to the bed (at her request). Often times while she lived with us, we'd wake up to the sound of a screaming woman (Katie) who was running all over the house, often times she'd hit the front door and run down the street. We tried, but couldn't 'wake her up out of it'... if a 3 story fall that nearly killed her didn't wake her, no amount of our yelling or shaking was going to do the trick either.
Over the years, Katie has improved. She now sees a doctor for it and takes medication to help.
Okay, one more funny story about it and then promise I'll tell you the freaky part.
Katie fell in love with Tony - a great guy she knew in High School. They were engaged to be married, and Tony's family was from Puerto Rico and knew nothing of her 'sleeping disorder'. Katie hoped it would stay that way. I mean... how do you explain something like that? Anyways......
Katie went with Tony to Puerto Rico with their infant daughter. They were staying in some awesome tents on the beach in beautiful Puerto Rico. Then one night...... it happened.
Katie had gone to bed with the baby in one tent. Tony was up at night playing Dominoes with the other men in the family on the beach. He heard the screams and I'm sure Tony knew what was happening. Katie had an episode and was ripping her way through the tent she was sleeping in. I'm sure there was chaos as Tony's family tried to grasp what might be happening. Katie, sleeping and unaware of which way the door was in the tent, ripped through the wrong side of one tent, then ripped another tent before grabbing the baby. My understanding is that by the time Tony arrived Katie was in a fetal position cradling the baby inside a tent that was torn apart.
Needless to say, Tony's family learned of her disorder first-hand as they witnessed it themselves. Too funny.
So... the freaky part.......
I grew up Catholic. When it came time for confirmation... I forget how old I was but in reading now I see it's generally between the age of 7 and 15.... I had to choose a confirmation name. All students were assigned to pick the name of a Saint whom they wanted to be named after. The church tells you that your patron saint is who you pray for for certain things. If you are struggling in your marriage, you might pray to the patron saint of happy marriages: St. Valentine. If you are a musician you can pray to the patron saint of musicians: St. Cecilia. Often times saints are given multiple things to be patrons over.
Per the Catholic Church: "You choose the name of a saint who inspires you. This symbolizes a new beginning in your faith life and a connection with that saint. This new name would be used after your present middle name and before your family (last) name. Added to your Christian name, it gives you a heavenly patron who you should endeavor (try) to imitate. The name you choose should represent the direction you feel your faith life is taking, or represent a strength or attribute you feel you need." The Catholic Church of course cautioned against taking a name purely for fun - we were instructed to choose wisely.
Of course......... I didn't listen. I picked St. Dymphna. I picked her because her name was COOL and because everyone else was picking normal names when there were TONS of really cool names out there. Who needs St. Mary? St. Luke? St. Elizabeth? I had DYMPHNA! Even as the Bishop was confirming me he took pause to read my Saint's name and gave me a very odd look. A look that kind of said "are you kidding me??" I thought it was cool. Cool and funny.
I found out as an adult what Saint Dymphna represents... and it's not so funny anymore. She is the patron saint of -- sleepwalking, sleepwalkers, mental disorders, mental health caregivers, mentally ill people, mental hospitals and loss of parents.
Can someone tell me it's just a coincidence?? Really???
Back when I picked this Saint I had ABSOLUTELY no idea that Julie was mentally ill nor that Katie was going to be a sleepwalker. No idea that I was going to - in some role or another - end up being a caregiver for both sisters at some point in their lives. That the kids I would have here - raising - would be dealing with a loss of a parent. How many times I would be looking up to the heavens praying for guidance in hundreds of instances throughout my adult life - and NEEDING guidance from the very saint that I picked as a young child - picked as a joke.
I suppose one could say that it's another fine example of God's sense of humor.
I just LOVE God's sense of humor!
Saturday, July 14, 2007
God's Sense of Humor
God is really one cool dude. He's got a great sense of humor - I love that in a person.
He had a marvelous sense of humor today when he ordered rain for Justin's final baseball game of the season. He had a double-header at Gaither High this morning... started at 9, first game from about 9 to 11:30, second game from Noon to about 2:30. First game things were hot -- really really hot. Sun beating on us. We brought a beach umbrella from home and found the breeze was much better on the top of the bleachers. We set up the umbrella on the top row of the bleachers and watched the game.
Justin did great, but his team lost the first game. Second game and it began to sprinkle. It actually felt pretty darn good. Then the lightening began and the game took a 15 minute hiatus.
The game resumed and it felt pretty great outside. Lots of clouds (meaning no sun) and very breezy. Everyone went back to the bleachers, Chris and I went back up to the top row.
Before long, the sun came back out and we had to break out the umbrella. Chris went down 2 steps and opened it up. I got up and began to take the two big steps down to meet him when I suddenly realized metal bleachers + rain + slippery flip flops = disaster. Second step down and my leg slipped forward.
Right leg went out in front of me and the back of my leg scraped the metal bleacher. OUCH Left leg realizing the right leg was in trouble went behind me and my shin scraped against the metal bleacher. That one hurt VERY bad. Then my butt, having no legs under it, had no place to go but straight down. SMACK onto the metal bleacher. OUCH OUCH OUCH.
Of course, every person down below turns around to see the dummy who just fell on the bleachers 20 feet in the air. Jeez. So... God gave us a wonderful break from the heat -- but.... well... I have the battle scars to prove it was not quite so great. Funny... really really funny.
Oh, and he won the final game. Rah.
Then there is God's sense of humor with nature....
Take for example this plant we had growing in our back yard.
It's UGLY, right? I've no idea what it is really. It was in our back yard behind the pool and the pool cage, under a tree. It kept getting bigger and bigger... all the while I'm like "wow, that sure is one ugly plant!"
Then one day... we get this:
Every one of those ugly circle things in the center of the plant has this most BEAUTIFUL pink flower with little purple circle bulbs around it. Just............ gorgeous.
As with so many things in life... you can't judge a plant by it's appearance alone. Given time, circumstances, and attention - it's capable of beautiful things.
We of course moved them into the front of the yard once we saw the flowers. We have them lined up along the walkway. Someone coming up to the door when the flowers are not in bloom might think "ewww... why did they put THOSE out here?" But... those who know us know that there has to be something more.... that there is always something just beneath the surface.
Some thing more.
Something unexpected.
Yep... that's a Rhocchini plant right there. Love it.
He had a marvelous sense of humor today when he ordered rain for Justin's final baseball game of the season. He had a double-header at Gaither High this morning... started at 9, first game from about 9 to 11:30, second game from Noon to about 2:30. First game things were hot -- really really hot. Sun beating on us. We brought a beach umbrella from home and found the breeze was much better on the top of the bleachers. We set up the umbrella on the top row of the bleachers and watched the game.
Justin did great, but his team lost the first game. Second game and it began to sprinkle. It actually felt pretty darn good. Then the lightening began and the game took a 15 minute hiatus.
The game resumed and it felt pretty great outside. Lots of clouds (meaning no sun) and very breezy. Everyone went back to the bleachers, Chris and I went back up to the top row.
Before long, the sun came back out and we had to break out the umbrella. Chris went down 2 steps and opened it up. I got up and began to take the two big steps down to meet him when I suddenly realized metal bleachers + rain + slippery flip flops = disaster. Second step down and my leg slipped forward.
Right leg went out in front of me and the back of my leg scraped the metal bleacher. OUCH Left leg realizing the right leg was in trouble went behind me and my shin scraped against the metal bleacher. That one hurt VERY bad. Then my butt, having no legs under it, had no place to go but straight down. SMACK onto the metal bleacher. OUCH OUCH OUCH.
Of course, every person down below turns around to see the dummy who just fell on the bleachers 20 feet in the air. Jeez. So... God gave us a wonderful break from the heat -- but.... well... I have the battle scars to prove it was not quite so great. Funny... really really funny.
Oh, and he won the final game. Rah.
Then there is God's sense of humor with nature....
Take for example this plant we had growing in our back yard.
It's UGLY, right? I've no idea what it is really. It was in our back yard behind the pool and the pool cage, under a tree. It kept getting bigger and bigger... all the while I'm like "wow, that sure is one ugly plant!"
Then one day... we get this:
Every one of those ugly circle things in the center of the plant has this most BEAUTIFUL pink flower with little purple circle bulbs around it. Just............ gorgeous.
As with so many things in life... you can't judge a plant by it's appearance alone. Given time, circumstances, and attention - it's capable of beautiful things.
We of course moved them into the front of the yard once we saw the flowers. We have them lined up along the walkway. Someone coming up to the door when the flowers are not in bloom might think "ewww... why did they put THOSE out here?" But... those who know us know that there has to be something more.... that there is always something just beneath the surface.
Some thing more.
Something unexpected.
Yep... that's a Rhocchini plant right there. Love it.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Box of Crayons
It's been a really strange couple of days.
Julie wanted me to talk to her doctor. Now... I worked in the medical field (16 years in primary care) but Julie usually does NOT want me to talk to her doctors. Yesterday she asked me to talk to them. Gave me her code and everything. She told me the doctor was there and she wanted me to call him and find out what was going on with her.
So... I called.
She's been in the hospital for about 2 weeks now, was out only for her birthday and went back in the next day. She's been having problems breathing. The doctor I talked to yesterday was her pulmonologist.
He was nice enough. Said he didn't know Julie 'very well', but he knew her 'well enough'. He said that they had run every test, most twice, and come up with nothing. He said he was concerned because of the cuts on her arms (self mutilation) and yet - his words - Julie had the psychiatrist who was there 'fooled'. He thought she had a lot of mental problems that she was hiding. He said that she had been insisting on certain medications - pain/anxiety/etc. He said that "today she was on a Codeine kick" - she wanted nothing other than Codeine to help her cough. Julie believes Codeine is primarily for cough, when in fact, it's primarily for pain and 'also used' for cough. Anyways......
He said that all the doctors were concerned that all the tests thus far were negative. Additionally, he was concerned because she claims no improvement when on "helium therapy". He said that the Helium Therapy is a mixture of oxygen and helium and that it helps ALL patients with ANY lung conditions feel better, even if it isn't actually 'doing anything', patients still 'feel better'. Not Julie.
In addition to this, her oxygen levels were fine - even though she continued to struggle to breathe.
Several of the doctors wondered if she, for some unknown reason, 'liked being sick'. They wondered if she was somehow 'faking it'. He had other tests he could do on an outpatient basis, but he was afraid with her 'non-compliance' issues, she would simply not show up. Not so far-fetched I suppose.
I too have wondered about Julie. She always goes in with phantom pains... her stomach hurts... headache... now breathing. Not the past few months.... many many YEARS. She'll go in cuz her blood sugar is high and get pain medicine. Go in because her stomach hurts and get something for anxiety. Whatever.... just an abuse of the system. If she paid for ONE emergency visit... she wouldn't be so quick to go back, let me tell ya. So... yeah, it crossed my mind.
Anyways... today she called and said the Internal Medicine doctor diagnosed her with mycoplasma pneumonia. Why the family doctor diagnosed this and not the Pulmonologist who specializes in this kind of thing... I've no idea. But... that's what they are saying now.
So... please keep her in your prayers, for any reason. If she's really sick - if she's not. She could always use prayers to lift her up.
I also forgot to tell y'all about something else that happened just before vacation. Let's see how vague I can be... for obvious reasons.... we were packing up for vacation and one of the kids who is ALWAYS over the house was here. She's a good girl, and one of the girl's best friends. Well... as we are packing up, I noticed her wrists/arms. She's been cutting herself. No family history of mental illness... but I suppose, she knew one of her best friends used it as an 'outlet' of sorts, so maybe she tried it. I dunno the reason, but I was consumed with anger and guilt, and I'm sure the 'other one' in the house who has done the same was feeling a wee bit guilty/responsible herself.
It was quite a blow. It exemplified the 'ripple effect'. Talking to Julie about it she said something about "I guess I'm kinda responsible for that, huh?" Uh... yeah... you think???? Ripple effect. Every single thing you do affects another person, and sometimes without you even knowing it.
We went to a Catholic church last weekend and the priest there said that Children were like a blank sheet of paper. That the people that come into their lives are like crayons... crayons who write on their paper. This writing will somehow or another define who they are. Good and bad. Julie used many good crayons in writing on the souls of her children.... she loves them with all of her heart - always has. But there are also lots of bad crayons that were used to write onto these kids. Chris and I color like crazy to try to cover it up... but it's still there sometimes. Yet, I'm also aware that the bad things in life also help create who we are today in a not-so-bad kind of way.
So, I leave you with this tonight:
The Crayon Box That Talked
While walking into a toy store the day before today
I overheard a crayon box with many things to say
"I don't like Red!" said Yellow and Green said "Nor do I"
"And no one here likes Orange but no one knows just why"
"We are a box of crayons that doesn't get along
Said Blue to all the others "Something here is wrong
"Well, I bought that box of crayons and took it home with me
And laid out all the colors so the crayons all could see
They watched me as I colored with Red and Blue and Green
And Black and White and Orange and every color in between
They watched as Green became the grass and Blue became the sky
The Yellow sun was shining bright on White clouds drifting by
Colors changing as they touched becoming something new
They watched me as I colored - they watched me till I was through
And when I finally finished I began to walk away
And as I did the crayon box had something more to say
"I do like Red!" said Yellow and Green said, "so do I"
And Blue you were terrific! So high up in the sky"
We are a box of crayons each one of us unique
But when we get together the picture is more complete"
Julie wanted me to talk to her doctor. Now... I worked in the medical field (16 years in primary care) but Julie usually does NOT want me to talk to her doctors. Yesterday she asked me to talk to them. Gave me her code and everything. She told me the doctor was there and she wanted me to call him and find out what was going on with her.
So... I called.
She's been in the hospital for about 2 weeks now, was out only for her birthday and went back in the next day. She's been having problems breathing. The doctor I talked to yesterday was her pulmonologist.
He was nice enough. Said he didn't know Julie 'very well', but he knew her 'well enough'. He said that they had run every test, most twice, and come up with nothing. He said he was concerned because of the cuts on her arms (self mutilation) and yet - his words - Julie had the psychiatrist who was there 'fooled'. He thought she had a lot of mental problems that she was hiding. He said that she had been insisting on certain medications - pain/anxiety/etc. He said that "today she was on a Codeine kick" - she wanted nothing other than Codeine to help her cough. Julie believes Codeine is primarily for cough, when in fact, it's primarily for pain and 'also used' for cough. Anyways......
He said that all the doctors were concerned that all the tests thus far were negative. Additionally, he was concerned because she claims no improvement when on "helium therapy". He said that the Helium Therapy is a mixture of oxygen and helium and that it helps ALL patients with ANY lung conditions feel better, even if it isn't actually 'doing anything', patients still 'feel better'. Not Julie.
In addition to this, her oxygen levels were fine - even though she continued to struggle to breathe.
Several of the doctors wondered if she, for some unknown reason, 'liked being sick'. They wondered if she was somehow 'faking it'. He had other tests he could do on an outpatient basis, but he was afraid with her 'non-compliance' issues, she would simply not show up. Not so far-fetched I suppose.
I too have wondered about Julie. She always goes in with phantom pains... her stomach hurts... headache... now breathing. Not the past few months.... many many YEARS. She'll go in cuz her blood sugar is high and get pain medicine. Go in because her stomach hurts and get something for anxiety. Whatever.... just an abuse of the system. If she paid for ONE emergency visit... she wouldn't be so quick to go back, let me tell ya. So... yeah, it crossed my mind.
Anyways... today she called and said the Internal Medicine doctor diagnosed her with mycoplasma pneumonia. Why the family doctor diagnosed this and not the Pulmonologist who specializes in this kind of thing... I've no idea. But... that's what they are saying now.
So... please keep her in your prayers, for any reason. If she's really sick - if she's not. She could always use prayers to lift her up.
I also forgot to tell y'all about something else that happened just before vacation. Let's see how vague I can be... for obvious reasons.... we were packing up for vacation and one of the kids who is ALWAYS over the house was here. She's a good girl, and one of the girl's best friends. Well... as we are packing up, I noticed her wrists/arms. She's been cutting herself. No family history of mental illness... but I suppose, she knew one of her best friends used it as an 'outlet' of sorts, so maybe she tried it. I dunno the reason, but I was consumed with anger and guilt, and I'm sure the 'other one' in the house who has done the same was feeling a wee bit guilty/responsible herself.
It was quite a blow. It exemplified the 'ripple effect'. Talking to Julie about it she said something about "I guess I'm kinda responsible for that, huh?" Uh... yeah... you think???? Ripple effect. Every single thing you do affects another person, and sometimes without you even knowing it.
We went to a Catholic church last weekend and the priest there said that Children were like a blank sheet of paper. That the people that come into their lives are like crayons... crayons who write on their paper. This writing will somehow or another define who they are. Good and bad. Julie used many good crayons in writing on the souls of her children.... she loves them with all of her heart - always has. But there are also lots of bad crayons that were used to write onto these kids. Chris and I color like crazy to try to cover it up... but it's still there sometimes. Yet, I'm also aware that the bad things in life also help create who we are today in a not-so-bad kind of way.
So, I leave you with this tonight:
The Crayon Box That Talked
While walking into a toy store the day before today
I overheard a crayon box with many things to say
"I don't like Red!" said Yellow and Green said "Nor do I"
"And no one here likes Orange but no one knows just why"
"We are a box of crayons that doesn't get along
Said Blue to all the others "Something here is wrong
"Well, I bought that box of crayons and took it home with me
And laid out all the colors so the crayons all could see
They watched me as I colored with Red and Blue and Green
And Black and White and Orange and every color in between
They watched as Green became the grass and Blue became the sky
The Yellow sun was shining bright on White clouds drifting by
Colors changing as they touched becoming something new
They watched me as I colored - they watched me till I was through
And when I finally finished I began to walk away
And as I did the crayon box had something more to say
"I do like Red!" said Yellow and Green said, "so do I"
And Blue you were terrific! So high up in the sky"
We are a box of crayons each one of us unique
But when we get together the picture is more complete"
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Broken Chairs and Kitten
I almost forgot to tell you all....
When we got back from the beach - we sat down to dinner on Saturday night at the dining room table. There are 6 of us on a 'normal' night (sometimes 7 or 8 depending on what friends are over) and so we use all 6 dining room chairs at least. Occasionally we'll have to pull one or two or even all 4 from the kitchen table. Anyways, we pulled out one of the chairs and -- the back came off. Well, it's broken. REEEEEEAAAALLLY broken - spindles out, two outer spindles broken off completely. Chris and I were like... "Okay, who did it??" Sigh........
Kayla originally took the blame - but Kayla is a horrible liar. We soon found out that the kid who lives down the street, Sean (who practically lives here) had leaned back in the chair last Saturday before we left, fell back, then in getting up stepped on it or something like that. When it happened, all the kids talked about it and everyone agreed to 'let Kayla take the blame' because Sean had already broken so much in the house. Jeez Louise.
Needless to say were were not happy that this happened, and sadly - we were not surprised either. One more broken thing... added to the list....
Julie is back in the hospital. She got out yesterday but had to go back today because she couldn't breathe well. They are checking her for some kind of pulmonary obstruction - she said she can't even get up and go to the bathroom without having to have oxygen when she returns to the bed. How sad is that? I originally thought she might be going back in for more pain medication, but they don't have her on anything strong there. Well, Percocet - which is strong - but compared to Dilaudid and Morphine, it's nothing.
They also can't get her diabetes under control. The nurse today told me that she's on medication which will bring it up, but shouldn't bring it up to over 500 while she is on a diabetic diet. So... they really don't know what is wrong with her yet.
The kids talk to Julie every night, and I of course listen in on the conversations. The only thing that bordered 'wrong' in my opinion was a conversation again with Justin. Julie was talking to Justin last night and Julie mentioned that the doctor wanted her to go back to the hospital but she didn't want to go. Justin urged his mom to go to the hospital if that's what the doctors wanted her to do. Now... that wasn't hurtful or really 'wrong'.... but Julie needs to get Justin OUT of the parent or spouse role in their relationship. She needs to talk to him about his baseball, school, etc. Don't put him in the position to have to tell her "mommy you really should do what the doctors want you to do." It's just not right - it forces him to be the caregiver and/or the adult in the conversation.
Do you know what Justin was talking about doing when he turned 18? Moving in and taking care of his mom. Julie even talked about giving him the house (ensuring he would be there with her). Geez... how sad! These kids need to grow up and start their OWN lives. It surely is what Ron would have wanted. If Julie needs someone to take care of her... she should find a husband.
Anyways... I didn't even talk to Julie about this yet. Again, mostly because it wasn't really 'wrong' -- it's just something that I think is unhealthy.
Jonathan is next to me right now playing the piano. It's truly amazing what he's learned to do in such a short period of time! He's got genuine talent... I've GOT to get him into piano lessons! ARGHHH
Speaking of spending money... we're going to get the house tented for termites probably in August sometime. We need 2 - 3 days out of the house, but yet still stay close to home so I can work early mornings (I am NOT a morning person). I might have the kids go to friends houses for those 2-3 days so that if we get a hotel, we won't need two rooms. I don't know - we haven't really nailed down the details yet. But the day before we left for vacation we had another swarm of dry-wood termites in our bedroom. When we returned, a hefty mess of sawdust in the middle of the kitchen floor. We've GOT to get it done this year.
Jonathan had one heck of an attitude with me today. Sigh.... He's growing up and getting into that 'talk back' and 'attitude' stage. I just HATE that teenage stage. I can't really say why he's going through it and Kayla, Justin and Kayte don't talk back/smart off/show attitude... but they don't. Maybe just because I'm not 'mom' to them, ya know? Maybe because of all the trauma with their dad and then their mom? But Jonathan sure showed his butt today for sure.
I found out, after a very long discussion with him at lunch today, that he's the kind of kid who likes to be told how good he is... or how proud you are of him... or how much you love him. Not show him, not buy him things.... tell him. So I'm going to make a conscious effort to do so.
We also discussed many other things. He wants to be treated like an adult or older teenager - but.... he can't remember to take his medicine on his own, can't remember to take a shower on his own, won't brush his teeth on his own, do his chores on his own, etc..... he needs to be reminded of these things all the time. I told him that if he could make a conscious effort to do these things without being asked... to step up to the plate and act more 'adult' or 'older teenager' -- that I would certainly do my part to start treating him as if he were more responsible. Ah jeez, I guess I am so lucky that I'm going through this right now with just Jonathan, not all four at once, eh?
Did I tell you we picked up another kitten? She was outside our door the other night and Jonathan found her - and he couldn't leave her outside. (Sound familiar mom?) He's got SUCH a big heart. We discussed options... first tried to take her to the park and let her 'play' (i.e. leave her and hope she finds another home) -- but Jonathan couldn't leave her. Then Jonathan took her to a friend's house who said he might keep the kitten, but he didn't and she ended up back home with us. Jinx likes her pretty well, Grace is not happy but is tolerant of her. We discussed taking her to the Humane Society, but they might put her to sleep if nobody takes her. So... she's with us and we are trying to find her a home. If I can ever figure out how to send my phone picture to my email, I'll get a picture of her and post it here.
Sunday was Julie's birthday and she was supposed to come over Wednesday night for her normal dinner and us have a special birthday dinner for her. (Do I make a cake for a diabetics birthday?) Looks like she's not going to make it since she is again in the hospital. I might take the kids to go see her tomorrow night. Chris will be going down to visit Doug... and so I thought it would be nice for the kids to visit with her. We'll see - not sure if I can do it or if I feel up to driving all the way down to Brandon... but we'll see.
I better run.... I've got to get to bed. Please keep Julie in your prayers. Pray that they find out what is wrong with her breathing and with her diabetes.
Matthew 6:19-34
I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labour or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendour was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, "What shall we eat?" or "What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?" For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
When we got back from the beach - we sat down to dinner on Saturday night at the dining room table. There are 6 of us on a 'normal' night (sometimes 7 or 8 depending on what friends are over) and so we use all 6 dining room chairs at least. Occasionally we'll have to pull one or two or even all 4 from the kitchen table. Anyways, we pulled out one of the chairs and -- the back came off. Well, it's broken. REEEEEEAAAALLLY broken - spindles out, two outer spindles broken off completely. Chris and I were like... "Okay, who did it??" Sigh........
Kayla originally took the blame - but Kayla is a horrible liar. We soon found out that the kid who lives down the street, Sean (who practically lives here) had leaned back in the chair last Saturday before we left, fell back, then in getting up stepped on it or something like that. When it happened, all the kids talked about it and everyone agreed to 'let Kayla take the blame' because Sean had already broken so much in the house. Jeez Louise.
Needless to say were were not happy that this happened, and sadly - we were not surprised either. One more broken thing... added to the list....
Julie is back in the hospital. She got out yesterday but had to go back today because she couldn't breathe well. They are checking her for some kind of pulmonary obstruction - she said she can't even get up and go to the bathroom without having to have oxygen when she returns to the bed. How sad is that? I originally thought she might be going back in for more pain medication, but they don't have her on anything strong there. Well, Percocet - which is strong - but compared to Dilaudid and Morphine, it's nothing.
They also can't get her diabetes under control. The nurse today told me that she's on medication which will bring it up, but shouldn't bring it up to over 500 while she is on a diabetic diet. So... they really don't know what is wrong with her yet.
The kids talk to Julie every night, and I of course listen in on the conversations. The only thing that bordered 'wrong' in my opinion was a conversation again with Justin. Julie was talking to Justin last night and Julie mentioned that the doctor wanted her to go back to the hospital but she didn't want to go. Justin urged his mom to go to the hospital if that's what the doctors wanted her to do. Now... that wasn't hurtful or really 'wrong'.... but Julie needs to get Justin OUT of the parent or spouse role in their relationship. She needs to talk to him about his baseball, school, etc. Don't put him in the position to have to tell her "mommy you really should do what the doctors want you to do." It's just not right - it forces him to be the caregiver and/or the adult in the conversation.
Do you know what Justin was talking about doing when he turned 18? Moving in and taking care of his mom. Julie even talked about giving him the house (ensuring he would be there with her). Geez... how sad! These kids need to grow up and start their OWN lives. It surely is what Ron would have wanted. If Julie needs someone to take care of her... she should find a husband.
Anyways... I didn't even talk to Julie about this yet. Again, mostly because it wasn't really 'wrong' -- it's just something that I think is unhealthy.
Jonathan is next to me right now playing the piano. It's truly amazing what he's learned to do in such a short period of time! He's got genuine talent... I've GOT to get him into piano lessons! ARGHHH
Speaking of spending money... we're going to get the house tented for termites probably in August sometime. We need 2 - 3 days out of the house, but yet still stay close to home so I can work early mornings (I am NOT a morning person). I might have the kids go to friends houses for those 2-3 days so that if we get a hotel, we won't need two rooms. I don't know - we haven't really nailed down the details yet. But the day before we left for vacation we had another swarm of dry-wood termites in our bedroom. When we returned, a hefty mess of sawdust in the middle of the kitchen floor. We've GOT to get it done this year.
Jonathan had one heck of an attitude with me today. Sigh.... He's growing up and getting into that 'talk back' and 'attitude' stage. I just HATE that teenage stage. I can't really say why he's going through it and Kayla, Justin and Kayte don't talk back/smart off/show attitude... but they don't. Maybe just because I'm not 'mom' to them, ya know? Maybe because of all the trauma with their dad and then their mom? But Jonathan sure showed his butt today for sure.
I found out, after a very long discussion with him at lunch today, that he's the kind of kid who likes to be told how good he is... or how proud you are of him... or how much you love him. Not show him, not buy him things.... tell him. So I'm going to make a conscious effort to do so.
We also discussed many other things. He wants to be treated like an adult or older teenager - but.... he can't remember to take his medicine on his own, can't remember to take a shower on his own, won't brush his teeth on his own, do his chores on his own, etc..... he needs to be reminded of these things all the time. I told him that if he could make a conscious effort to do these things without being asked... to step up to the plate and act more 'adult' or 'older teenager' -- that I would certainly do my part to start treating him as if he were more responsible. Ah jeez, I guess I am so lucky that I'm going through this right now with just Jonathan, not all four at once, eh?
Did I tell you we picked up another kitten? She was outside our door the other night and Jonathan found her - and he couldn't leave her outside. (Sound familiar mom?) He's got SUCH a big heart. We discussed options... first tried to take her to the park and let her 'play' (i.e. leave her and hope she finds another home) -- but Jonathan couldn't leave her. Then Jonathan took her to a friend's house who said he might keep the kitten, but he didn't and she ended up back home with us. Jinx likes her pretty well, Grace is not happy but is tolerant of her. We discussed taking her to the Humane Society, but they might put her to sleep if nobody takes her. So... she's with us and we are trying to find her a home. If I can ever figure out how to send my phone picture to my email, I'll get a picture of her and post it here.
Sunday was Julie's birthday and she was supposed to come over Wednesday night for her normal dinner and us have a special birthday dinner for her. (Do I make a cake for a diabetics birthday?) Looks like she's not going to make it since she is again in the hospital. I might take the kids to go see her tomorrow night. Chris will be going down to visit Doug... and so I thought it would be nice for the kids to visit with her. We'll see - not sure if I can do it or if I feel up to driving all the way down to Brandon... but we'll see.
I better run.... I've got to get to bed. Please keep Julie in your prayers. Pray that they find out what is wrong with her breathing and with her diabetes.
Matthew 6:19-34
I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labour or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendour was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, "What shall we eat?" or "What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?" For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Things I Learned While On Vacation
This vacation was simply wonderful. Let me tell you about one of our days:
We get up in the morning and soak up the beach in the early morning. It's quiet, not too many people out on the beach just yet. If I drank coffee, sitting on the balcony sipping a cup of coffee would seem perfect. But I don't, so I sip my water and enjoy the morning.
Chris and I take the kids down to John's Pass. It's a little shopping village right on the water. This is where Jonathan went Parasailing. Kayla has her first ever boat ride and prays she'll see one dolphin. Instead she sees 5 playing nearby and she thanks God for letting her see so many.
We get back to the condo by noon and by 12:15 I'm on the beach with a bucket of Margaritas. The guys are playing horse shoes all day, others are under one of the 3 tents we have on the beach. I park my chair on the waters edge and sit to enjoy the day.
The kids come looking for me after a while and we go looking for shells and shark teeth. We of course find tons. Back to margaritas on the beach. Jono comes up after a while and wants to go catch fish (with our hands) - which we do for a while. The water feels great, and we catch so many fish that other kids on the beach want to see what we are doing. We show them, share some of the fish with them, then teach them how to catch them on their own. Occasionally throughout the day we also hit the pool and the hot tub of course.
Just before dinner/sunset we go up to the room and shower. Another couple has graciously made dinner for the 'crew' (about 30 of us total) and we go to their room to eat. These people are so wonderful and so generous it is heart-warming and inspiring.
After dark we go back down to the beach where all the adults have gathered around our tents and pull our chairs into a circle. At this point I'm drinking a nice glass of wine. (Bottle of course in tow for refills!) We sit, talk, drink, and enjoy good family and friends until we just can't stay up any longer. We then retreat to the room where we play a few hands of Gin Rummy with the kids till bedtime.
I had similar days to this every single day for 6 whole days. I am truly blessed.
Thinking of this on the day I returned, I began to compile a list of things I learned while on vacation. Some funny. Some honest. Some just realizing how blessed I am. But I thought it would be good to share my list with you. So here they are in no particular order:
We get up in the morning and soak up the beach in the early morning. It's quiet, not too many people out on the beach just yet. If I drank coffee, sitting on the balcony sipping a cup of coffee would seem perfect. But I don't, so I sip my water and enjoy the morning.
Chris and I take the kids down to John's Pass. It's a little shopping village right on the water. This is where Jonathan went Parasailing. Kayla has her first ever boat ride and prays she'll see one dolphin. Instead she sees 5 playing nearby and she thanks God for letting her see so many.
We get back to the condo by noon and by 12:15 I'm on the beach with a bucket of Margaritas. The guys are playing horse shoes all day, others are under one of the 3 tents we have on the beach. I park my chair on the waters edge and sit to enjoy the day.
The kids come looking for me after a while and we go looking for shells and shark teeth. We of course find tons. Back to margaritas on the beach. Jono comes up after a while and wants to go catch fish (with our hands) - which we do for a while. The water feels great, and we catch so many fish that other kids on the beach want to see what we are doing. We show them, share some of the fish with them, then teach them how to catch them on their own. Occasionally throughout the day we also hit the pool and the hot tub of course.
Just before dinner/sunset we go up to the room and shower. Another couple has graciously made dinner for the 'crew' (about 30 of us total) and we go to their room to eat. These people are so wonderful and so generous it is heart-warming and inspiring.
After dark we go back down to the beach where all the adults have gathered around our tents and pull our chairs into a circle. At this point I'm drinking a nice glass of wine. (Bottle of course in tow for refills!) We sit, talk, drink, and enjoy good family and friends until we just can't stay up any longer. We then retreat to the room where we play a few hands of Gin Rummy with the kids till bedtime.
I had similar days to this every single day for 6 whole days. I am truly blessed.
Thinking of this on the day I returned, I began to compile a list of things I learned while on vacation. Some funny. Some honest. Some just realizing how blessed I am. But I thought it would be good to share my list with you. So here they are in no particular order:
- Margaritas taste better in the hot sun on the beach in the middle of the day.
- Nothing beats sitting on the beach at sunset.
- Absolutely no doubt, I love all the kids - Jonathan, Kayla, Justin and Kayte. Without question God put them in our lives on purpose. And I thank Him.
- Good friends and family are hard to find and should be told how great they are more often.
- I am convinced Kendalle is an Angel.
- Kids eat like crazy, even on vacation.
- A glass (or four) of a good red Zin after sunset adds a whole new level of relaxation to vacation.
- I miss Brian and Jennifer terribly.
- The moon-lit ocean waves crashing at night is heavenly.
- Men play horseshoes better than women. Damnit.
- Kayla, Justin, Kayte and Jonathan amaze more every day; in both good ways and bad ways!
- The more I spend time with this whole group of wonderful people, the more I like them.
- A door left open in the condo can turn the temp from 72 to 80 within minutes.
- Kids leave doors open in the condo all the ding-dang time.
- Letting a kid spend their money on something they wanted to do and they saved for is actually more rewarding than if I had paid for it myself. (Jono's para-sailing)
- A non-working cell phone while on vacation is not necessarily a bad thing.
- I miss barbershop and singing in an A level chorus.
- Getting a tattoo really doesn't hurt all that much.
- Vacationing with 9 other families means the kids can eat in other rooms, but yet they STILL come back to ours to eat more afterwords.
- They should build a Sams Club right by the beach.
- Gray Goose is far better than other Vodkas.
- Tequila Sunrises are icky.
- Kayla is GREAT with kids.
- Generous people are amazing. More people (myself included) should aspire to be generous with whatever they can. The world would be a better place.
- Senator Nelson is GREAT for getting our social security money to us quickly.
- Everyone changes around babies - for the better.
- You should not go into a hot tub with a sunburn.
- Amanda needs a tan. Badly.
- Teenagers talk and text on phones WAY WAY WAY too much.
- Brandon hospital is enabling Julie.
It's after midnight now and I've got to work tomorrow. Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers! Lots going on and the rat-race is getting back into full swing with work starting back tomorrow.
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Photos of Beach Vacation 2007
If you can't open photos from the link (picture) below, go to the following link:
http://s205.photobucket.com/albums/bb247/tinarhodes2007/
http://s205.photobucket.com/albums/bb247/tinarhodes2007/
Photobucket Album
Friday, July 06, 2007
Update #2 From Indian Shores Beach
For obvious reasons, I've not been able to blog - the sun and the water have been blissfully relaxing while out here on vacation - so I've not been on the computer too much. This morning, Chris and Kayla are out picking up her lost wallet (lost it on a trolley but someone turned it in), all the other kids are sleeping, and I'm on the balcony, watching the waves of the ocean, feet up with laptop on my lap. I REALLY could get used to this. **grin**
Amanda and Gene came up for the 4th which was perfect because we had said we would cook breakfast for everyone on the 4th. We had omelettes cooked to order - went through 66 eggs, 4 lbs of bacon, 48 biscuits and 2 packages of sausage. It was just great. Hats of to Gene who was willing to get up first thing in the morning to help us with breakfast.
Other quick updates - the social security money I've been trying to get for over a year finally came this week! None too soon let me tell ya - we've gone shopping EVERY day since we got here and I swear on food and alcohol we've spent - easily - $800 thus far (with two days left to go). Not that we are using it here, but it's nice to know it's in the bank. Thank you to all of you who have been praying for the social security office to wake UP and release those funds!
Whate else... I did get my tattoo, and it's perfect for me. Brian also fixed Kayla's tattoo... Remember she had Tigger flipping 'the bird' with his middle finger, vines on each side, and "K-Weezy" under it. Brian designed it so that Tigger was holding a heart (instead of his middle finger in the air) - the heart has a halo on it, and it represents her daddy. She's very happy with it - and it looks great (as great as a tattoo can look on a child that is) - at least it's not offensive any longer. :o) YEAH BRIAN!
We are here with a group of people, many whom did not know the 'story' of the kids. Of course, as we sit around all day and night, eventually the story comes up. It amazes me how my heart feels and with what quick response I reply to the thing people say the most "That's a lot to take on; it must have been a difficult decision for you." Yeah, it was never a difficult decision. Chris and I love these kids so much. They are doing AWESOME and we are SO PROUD of them. We didn't do the 'right' thing... we did the only thing our hearts were telling us to do.
I think I'll just finish this blog by posting photos of our trip here so far. But first wanted to tell you that Julie is still in the hospital - still having a horrible time breathing. They wake her up every 3 hours for breathing treatments, and every 4 hours to give her more pain medicine. Around the clock! I'm going to bite my lip here about that pain medicine and pause to look at the beach.... there that's better... I won't tell you how I feel about the pain medicine again. :o)
Anyways... here are some photos:
Jonathan and Justin
Kayla, Kayte and Justin
Tina and Olivia
Gene making Omlettes (notice the beer - ha ha ha - hey, it's VACATION!)
Amanda, Tina, Jonathan and Chris
Michelle and Wayne (our friends)
My sister Katie and Kendalle (Jennifer's other baby)
Jonathan after Parasailing!
More photos to come after vacation, I'm sure!
Love is always patient and kind; it is never jealous, love is never boastful or conceited; it is never rude or selfish; it does not take offense, and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins but delights in the truth; it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Update From The Condo
Well, the Rhocchini clan plus 3 are all checked in at beautiful Indian Shores. We have a friend of the kids staying with us (one of our two adopted 'regulars' at the house), and two friends from Tampa are with us but staying at their own condo down the ways a bit.
It's been beautiful here - the weather has been awesome, and we have so many friends and family members here that it's just -- wonderful. There are about 8 or so other families that are in the condo with us that we know. We didn't buy any dinners and still have spent about $450 in food so far. Winn Dixie. Target. Oie. We went shopping this morning, 10 hours ago, and we're out of stuff already; in less than 24 hours the kids have eaten a box of cereal and one or two boxes of cheese-its. But they are HAPPY and having a great time, and THAT is what matters! Worth every penny. :o)
An update on Julie - she is back in the hospital. On Thursday she went to see her doctor because she was having an asthma attack. He sent her to the hospital for a breathing treatment and they admitted her. Since then, she's been on breathing treatments - and - oh while there, my head hurts so can I get something? She's had Morphine, Dilaudid, and Percocet. OMFG. I told her that the Dilaudid was something they give to cancer patients who are in incredible pain -- she got it because she happened to have a headache but was there for the main reason of Asthma???? Not to even mention that Dilaudid, Morphine and Percocet and incredibly addictive medicaitons... and the hospital - Brandon Hospital - KNOWS her history... why would they do this to/for her??? It just boggles my mind.
Speaking of headaches - I've had a LOT of headaches lately. I suppose I must have blogged about that recently - missing work a week or two ago because of it. I decided to make an appointment with the neurologist in one month, and keep a log of the headaches every single day. Since starting the log one week ago - I have had a flipping headache EVERY single ding-dang day. Sometimes not till night - those are the best ones because I can get a full day headache free. Sometimes in the afternoon I knew one was coming on. The log really does clearly show a pattern of headaches. I'm logging every medication I've taken for them and what time I've taken them. Again, funny that I can't get much more than Advil from my doctor, and Julie is hooked up to Morphine and Dilaudid at the hospital. Not that I would want a medication of that sort either... I just want to be headache-free. I'm sure the Neurologist will help me with that, and I can't WAIT! I just wish it was better while I'm here, ya know?
Julie was telling me that she got upset with me and she deleted me as a 'friend' from her Myspace account. I didn't ask her specifically what I had done to get her upset, because 1) it really doesn't matter and 2) I'm surprised with her reading my blog she hasn't gotten more upset with me more often.
Back a few months ago I became aware that she was reading it on a regular basis and I really watched my words. But then I thought... this is MY blog - MY journal - MY thoughts and feelings and MY ONLY way of expressing them. I fully believe that two things have kept me sane the past year and a half.... God and the Blog. And - honestly - I know this may sound weird, but.... I feel God-guided to blog. Sometimes someone will tell me that they have gone through a similar situation and this gives them some things to think about and try. Others read it and tell me that they don't feel their lives are so bad.
And the funny thing is... if Julie kept a blog I'm POSITIVE it would upset me to read it. And... I suppose... it would do me absolutely NO good to read it. It really doesn't matter what she thinks about what I do -- and I already KNOW she disagrees with a lot I do -- I know she's resentful -- I know she's probably filled with mixtures of gratitude, anger, remorse and God only knows what else. Heck, I know my own hubby REALLY well, and if HE put all his thoughts and feelings about our marriage I would NOT want to read it. I wouldn't really care about the inner-struggles he'd had -- as long as he's still the most AWESOME husband that he is, that's all that's really important, isn't it?
Well, it's after midnight here... girls are in their bedroom talking and giggling, the boys are playing X-box, and Chris, Wayne and Michelle are here playing cards. Think I might join them. :o)
I guess I should take a moment to thank Mr. Cooper and Mr. Fraser who's open internet access have allowed me to get online and blog to all of you while here. I'll try and keep you posted on our fun times here and let you know if things come up.
In the meantime, please keep Julie and her asthma in your prayers.
"We love Him because He first loved us." 1 John 4:9-10
It's been beautiful here - the weather has been awesome, and we have so many friends and family members here that it's just -- wonderful. There are about 8 or so other families that are in the condo with us that we know. We didn't buy any dinners and still have spent about $450 in food so far. Winn Dixie. Target. Oie. We went shopping this morning, 10 hours ago, and we're out of stuff already; in less than 24 hours the kids have eaten a box of cereal and one or two boxes of cheese-its. But they are HAPPY and having a great time, and THAT is what matters! Worth every penny. :o)
An update on Julie - she is back in the hospital. On Thursday she went to see her doctor because she was having an asthma attack. He sent her to the hospital for a breathing treatment and they admitted her. Since then, she's been on breathing treatments - and - oh while there, my head hurts so can I get something? She's had Morphine, Dilaudid, and Percocet. OMFG. I told her that the Dilaudid was something they give to cancer patients who are in incredible pain -- she got it because she happened to have a headache but was there for the main reason of Asthma???? Not to even mention that Dilaudid, Morphine and Percocet and incredibly addictive medicaitons... and the hospital - Brandon Hospital - KNOWS her history... why would they do this to/for her??? It just boggles my mind.
Speaking of headaches - I've had a LOT of headaches lately. I suppose I must have blogged about that recently - missing work a week or two ago because of it. I decided to make an appointment with the neurologist in one month, and keep a log of the headaches every single day. Since starting the log one week ago - I have had a flipping headache EVERY single ding-dang day. Sometimes not till night - those are the best ones because I can get a full day headache free. Sometimes in the afternoon I knew one was coming on. The log really does clearly show a pattern of headaches. I'm logging every medication I've taken for them and what time I've taken them. Again, funny that I can't get much more than Advil from my doctor, and Julie is hooked up to Morphine and Dilaudid at the hospital. Not that I would want a medication of that sort either... I just want to be headache-free. I'm sure the Neurologist will help me with that, and I can't WAIT! I just wish it was better while I'm here, ya know?
Julie was telling me that she got upset with me and she deleted me as a 'friend' from her Myspace account. I didn't ask her specifically what I had done to get her upset, because 1) it really doesn't matter and 2) I'm surprised with her reading my blog she hasn't gotten more upset with me more often.
Back a few months ago I became aware that she was reading it on a regular basis and I really watched my words. But then I thought... this is MY blog - MY journal - MY thoughts and feelings and MY ONLY way of expressing them. I fully believe that two things have kept me sane the past year and a half.... God and the Blog. And - honestly - I know this may sound weird, but.... I feel God-guided to blog. Sometimes someone will tell me that they have gone through a similar situation and this gives them some things to think about and try. Others read it and tell me that they don't feel their lives are so bad.
And the funny thing is... if Julie kept a blog I'm POSITIVE it would upset me to read it. And... I suppose... it would do me absolutely NO good to read it. It really doesn't matter what she thinks about what I do -- and I already KNOW she disagrees with a lot I do -- I know she's resentful -- I know she's probably filled with mixtures of gratitude, anger, remorse and God only knows what else. Heck, I know my own hubby REALLY well, and if HE put all his thoughts and feelings about our marriage I would NOT want to read it. I wouldn't really care about the inner-struggles he'd had -- as long as he's still the most AWESOME husband that he is, that's all that's really important, isn't it?
Well, it's after midnight here... girls are in their bedroom talking and giggling, the boys are playing X-box, and Chris, Wayne and Michelle are here playing cards. Think I might join them. :o)
I guess I should take a moment to thank Mr. Cooper and Mr. Fraser who's open internet access have allowed me to get online and blog to all of you while here. I'll try and keep you posted on our fun times here and let you know if things come up.
In the meantime, please keep Julie and her asthma in your prayers.
"We love Him because He first loved us." 1 John 4:9-10
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