Where did I leave you hanging last? Oh yeah... Julie didn't know "if" she was going to wake up on Monday morning.
Sure enough, Julie did wake up. She was taken in a slurring and over-medicated state to St. Joseph's hospital this time. (Why so many different hospitals all the time I don't know!) From there she was going to detox then try to get into Windmore rehab center in Clearwater. This is a nicer place with a $40 per day copayment, but she was hoping they'd take her and she'd just never pay the copayments and it would be added to her bad debts. No such luck... They didn't take her, so apparently she is going to go to the free one here in Tampa from St. Joseph's.
She's been calling and asking mom and myself if we are 'mad' at her... Why we don't seem more... compassionate I guess is the word. I told Julie (and I think Mom has said the same) that we are just sick and tired of her doing this to herself.
Okay, enough about Julie!
Things with the kids are going pretty well. Mornings are still hell around here. I got up this morning as usual, at 5:30 go go turn on Jonathan's bedroom light and ask him why he didn't get up with his alarm clock at 5:15 when it went off. Then I went back to bed hoping to sleep until I had to get up for work at 7:40.
Yeah.... That's never going to happen.
First there were several knocks on the bedroom door throughout the morning. Their bus comes at 6:35, and they must leave the house at 6:30 in order to make it in time. I get up and it was exactly 6:30. I open the door only to see Kayte and Jonathan still in their pajamas. Jonathan claims he has NO clothes to wear (his laundry day was Tuesday and he didn't make it to the dryer). Kayte has ROTC today and needs to put on a FULL ROTC uniform. At roughly 6:33 Kayte realizes the doesn't have any black socks to go with her uniform and needs to borrow some from Uncle Chris. STILL not dressed.
At 6:37 I hear the front door SLAM shut as Kayte runs out of it. There is now a note on the front door telling the kids to PLEASE not slam the front door in the morning. As usual... Nobody listens. And apparently nobody reads.
I can't believe she caught the bus. Either that or she walked... But she didn't come back home.
Morning are definitely a problem here at the Rhocchini house and I'm just not sure what to do about them. Actually, nights AND mornings are a problem and I am CONVINCED that they are related. The kids SWEAR it's not true.... They swear that they go to bed without issue and they get up without problems. Yet every morning it's pure CHAOS as they run around trying to rush to catch the bus.
I really hate it that I yell at night and in the morning... That the last thing they hear from me at night is my yelling and before they go to school it's yelling. I could do nothing I suppose, but it would be horrible. They would go to sleep at midnight and Chris and I would never have alone time. The mornings are just plain bad whether I'm up yelling or not. I've sat in my room before and just let them run around without pushing them, and they are just loud and running around like crazy. Either way I'm awake. I just WISH that they would try it my way... Go to bed early (which means actually sleeping) and wake up early enough to not have to run around crazy in the mornings. Coming from a person who gets up at 7:40 to be out the door at 7:45, it's not that I think they must get up early, it's that they need to be able to do their routine, whatever their individual routine may be, without running around like crazy. OIE
My sister Katie came over the other night with Tatiana and little Isabella. The kids got to see their little cousin Isabella for the first time. It was really nice of Katie to drive over and it was great spending time with them. Last night I heard that Isabella was sick and they had to bring her to the ER. I just talked to Katie and she is okay, home, and resting. Apparently it's just a cold or something. But since she is breast feeding and the baby had a fever, they wanted to check her out.
I actually asked for help the other day. A friend who always asks if we need anything called to ask, and I said "yes" this time. Food. Gift certificates for food. OIE - you have no idea how hard that was for me. It's different to put it here in the blog... I don't have to actually SAY it. I often times will say that... How if you ask me in person I'll say "things are GREAT" when sometimes they just are not.
Right now things are just difficult. My house is set at a temperature of 90 during the day and 85 at night because of a $450 electric bill. I simply can't afford that kind of electric bill every month. And frankly, I hadn't budgeted an extra $200 to apply to a ginormous electric bill. Usage went up, but not THAT much. I heard from a lot of people though that their jumped as well and I believe TECO went up in their rates. Great.... I mean, what is a family supposed to do? We can't 'shop' electric companies! Yet you can't really live without electricity. And what do I do all day? Sell parts to electric companies. Sheesh.
So, yeah, it's tight a bit right now. And the kids don't do well when there is very little food in the house. Here's a fun example of eating at my house:
The kids come home from school. Sometimes they'll eat Romain Noodles, but never just one pack, at LEAST two. Yesterday two of them eat cereal, either two bowls or one mixing bowl full. Two hours later I serve dinner: Lasagna and 16 breadsticks. Two hours later we are visiting Grandma at her chorus and they ask me multiple times on the way over if we could stop for food - then when we get there (and I of course didn't stop for food) all they can think about is what is the snack going to be? They eat ALL the time. And they are THIN as RAILS. Go figure.
I was trying to understand yesterday why I give these kids such a hard time when they ask for money. I don't really remember hammering Amanda as much as I do these kids when they ask for money for something.
What I realized is that these kids tend to take things for granted more. As if money grows on trees. Some examples:
* Leaving food out so it goes bad and needs to be thrown away. From a loaf of bread left open all day to milk sitting on the counter all night.
* Finding the bathroom garbage can FULL of wads of toilet paper. They'll take a HUGE wad of it and use it to wipe their forehead sweat. Or...
* Finding 4 big paper towels in a wad on the kitchen counter. Why? Because someone rinsed their hands in the sink, then grabbed paper towels to dry off, and used FOUR at one time. (Oh my gosh, I've turned into my parents!)
* Giving them a $20 bill at church so they can eat a bagel before church only to receive NO change from it because they ate and ate and ate.
* Washing an entire load of clean clothes.
* Can't wear a fancy dress more than once. The girls go to Quinces all the time. School dances. You wouldn't want to wear that same dress again. What would their friends say? LOL
* Cups and water jugs all over the neighborhood from the kids and their friends coming in for something to drink and taking it outside and leaving it there.
* Wasted movie money. The kids used to ask for money to go to the movies - but kids today go to the movies more to 'hang out' than to actually see a movie. I can't tell you how many times they've paid for a movie only to leave in the middle of it.
The way I view it, they have a complete disregard for money much of the time. The way they probably view me - in a word: "tight-wad". LOL I'd bet there is probably some truth in both statements.
Homecoming is coming up in October. Their Grandma Gwen sent down some money for the girls to buy dresses. The boys last night said they needed a suit or something to wear. This is when it starts to give me heart palpitations when I think about having FOUR kids in high school at the same time. Lets say they get cheap clothes to wear, say $60 each... Then the cost to get in...I'm looking at dropping nearly $400 just to get in and dressed. OMFG
Then, at what time do I buy yearbooks? I go back to look at all 3 years of my yearbooks often times. Just one year's worth of yearbooks for the kids is going to cost me - oh my goodness I can't even THINK about it right now!
This is exactly why Chris and I chose to have only TWO children and purposely spaced them apart 7 years. Ah... God's sense of humor yet again.
BE THANKFUL
Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don't know something,
for it gives you the opportunity to learn.
Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
thankful for your limitations,
because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge,
because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you're tired and weary,
because it means you've made a difference.
It's easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.
Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles,
and they can become your blessings.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Julie Is Drugged Again
I received a phone call first thing Saturday morning from Amanda. She told me that she had a conversation with Julie via instant messenger and Julie had told her that she really knew she had big problems. Amanda said that Julie had wanted to go to some kind of long-term treatment facility. (My hopes were not raised, I've heard this a dozen times or so.) Amanda mentioned a long-term treatment facility that she had found last year that was AMAZING - down in Palm Springs or someplace like that. I remember getting the paperwork on it last year sometime.
The facility actually called me to talk to me about the place and about Julie's insurance to see if there was anything they could do for her. I explained that I was pretty sure Julie's treatment visits had been used, but they were welcome to call the insurance company and check on it. They are supposed to call me back Monday.
Shortly after my conversation with Amanda and this facility, Mom and I receive and email from Julie. She explains that she has been abusing medications. Remember she has the new doctor now.... this new doctor doesn't know her as well as the other ones did - she's been giving Julie a LOT of medicines. She explained that she was abusing her Soma, Ativan, and Klonopin. Of course, she followed up with a phone call to me when I didn't respond right away to her.
Listening to her on the phone was difficult. She was slurring - EXTREMELY badly. I wish I could put a .wav file in this blog so that you could hear for yourselves to better understand. On the phone she explained that she had been getting new prescriptions from the doctor while the 'old' ones still had refills. The doctor didn't think about taking back the old medications when she'd change out her pills for new ones. So... she has at least twice as many pills as she should have on hand.
Sunday morning she called and I couldn't understand her hardly AT ALL. Only, today, after hearing her yesterday and knowing that she was doing it to 'get high', I found it funny. So, I started laughing at her. I asked her what the heck she took already (it was not even noon, which is very early for Julie). She tried to tell me "cough medicine". Well, I knew it wasn't cough medicine... it took my asking her to repeat herself 5 times to even understand the response. Not to mention she kept falling asleep while trying to talk. Finally I said "codeine?" - and she said yes, exactly. Yeah... she's home doping up again. I actually found it hysterical talking to her that she was so totally messed up from swigging Codeine before Noon on a Sunday. I don't know why I found it so funny... I just did.
I did however warn her NOT to call and expect to talk to the kids while she was impaired. I told her she'd have to stop taking 'whatever' long enough to sober up to talk to them.
Tonight (Sunday night) she just called. Slurring horribly again, I listened in on a bit of the phone call with Kayte before telling Julie that the kids couldn't talk to her like this. Julie kept telling Kayte that tomorrow she was going into rehab. Tomorrow things would be better. And she kept asking "are you mad at me?" What the hell kind of a question is that to ask your kid?? Kayte said "You mean because you are abusing medications to get high? Yes of course I am." Yet again I ask, why would you ask a child that? This is when I jumped in and ended the conversation.
Julie then explained to me that she was going to drive HERSELF to rehab tomorrow. There is NO WAY she should be behind the wheel of a vehicle tomorrow and I told her that. She didn't understand what I was saying. She was TOTALLY out of it. Then she told me that she "hoped she would wake up tomorrow morning." I said "Julie, you wake up every time after you do this to yourself. I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure you will." She said, "I guess we'll find out tomorrow then." And with that hung up.
I sat for a second and wondered how I would feel if she DIDN'T wake up tomorrow. But I am confident I wouldn't feel bad. I know that there is NOTHING I can do for Julie. We have tried everything. Calling the doctors. Calling the police. Calling the crisis line. Sitting by her bedside while she was on the respirator nearly dead from an overdose. We've even cleaned the pills out of her house, filled her weekly prescriptions into a handy daily container and took the rest home. She STILL continually finds a way to abuse something.
Every time.
So... we'll see what happens tomorrow.
The facility actually called me to talk to me about the place and about Julie's insurance to see if there was anything they could do for her. I explained that I was pretty sure Julie's treatment visits had been used, but they were welcome to call the insurance company and check on it. They are supposed to call me back Monday.
Shortly after my conversation with Amanda and this facility, Mom and I receive and email from Julie. She explains that she has been abusing medications. Remember she has the new doctor now.... this new doctor doesn't know her as well as the other ones did - she's been giving Julie a LOT of medicines. She explained that she was abusing her Soma, Ativan, and Klonopin. Of course, she followed up with a phone call to me when I didn't respond right away to her.
Listening to her on the phone was difficult. She was slurring - EXTREMELY badly. I wish I could put a .wav file in this blog so that you could hear for yourselves to better understand. On the phone she explained that she had been getting new prescriptions from the doctor while the 'old' ones still had refills. The doctor didn't think about taking back the old medications when she'd change out her pills for new ones. So... she has at least twice as many pills as she should have on hand.
Sunday morning she called and I couldn't understand her hardly AT ALL. Only, today, after hearing her yesterday and knowing that she was doing it to 'get high', I found it funny. So, I started laughing at her. I asked her what the heck she took already (it was not even noon, which is very early for Julie). She tried to tell me "cough medicine". Well, I knew it wasn't cough medicine... it took my asking her to repeat herself 5 times to even understand the response. Not to mention she kept falling asleep while trying to talk. Finally I said "codeine?" - and she said yes, exactly. Yeah... she's home doping up again. I actually found it hysterical talking to her that she was so totally messed up from swigging Codeine before Noon on a Sunday. I don't know why I found it so funny... I just did.
I did however warn her NOT to call and expect to talk to the kids while she was impaired. I told her she'd have to stop taking 'whatever' long enough to sober up to talk to them.
Tonight (Sunday night) she just called. Slurring horribly again, I listened in on a bit of the phone call with Kayte before telling Julie that the kids couldn't talk to her like this. Julie kept telling Kayte that tomorrow she was going into rehab. Tomorrow things would be better. And she kept asking "are you mad at me?" What the hell kind of a question is that to ask your kid?? Kayte said "You mean because you are abusing medications to get high? Yes of course I am." Yet again I ask, why would you ask a child that? This is when I jumped in and ended the conversation.
Julie then explained to me that she was going to drive HERSELF to rehab tomorrow. There is NO WAY she should be behind the wheel of a vehicle tomorrow and I told her that. She didn't understand what I was saying. She was TOTALLY out of it. Then she told me that she "hoped she would wake up tomorrow morning." I said "Julie, you wake up every time after you do this to yourself. I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure you will." She said, "I guess we'll find out tomorrow then." And with that hung up.
I sat for a second and wondered how I would feel if she DIDN'T wake up tomorrow. But I am confident I wouldn't feel bad. I know that there is NOTHING I can do for Julie. We have tried everything. Calling the doctors. Calling the police. Calling the crisis line. Sitting by her bedside while she was on the respirator nearly dead from an overdose. We've even cleaned the pills out of her house, filled her weekly prescriptions into a handy daily container and took the rest home. She STILL continually finds a way to abuse something.
Every time.
So... we'll see what happens tomorrow.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Day After The Wedding
Well, it's official. As of 4 pm yesterday afternoon, my little girl is married. Our family was increased by one when Gene and Amanda said "I Do" in Altamonte Springs. I'm so happy for them!
Here is a photo of the happy couple:
And the new Rhodes / Case family:
If you'd like to see all the pictures, go to this link!
I wanted to blog about Julie's visit on Wednesday. She's funny ya know, she reads my blogs many times... She asked me to please not write anything bad about her visit in this blog. Funny. I told her that she really SHOULD NOT read the blogs... That it was a journal for my innermost feelings on the whole Julie/ Rhocchini Kids experience. My thoughts and feelings. I don't MIND her reading them, but I think she'd be better off emotionally if she did not. Anyways....
The visit was fine. Something is not quite right with her medicines. She was sleepy and shaking. She said she had a follow-up visit with her psychiatrist on Thursday, and I asked her to tell the doctor about the symptoms. Additionally, every time I've talked to Julie on the phone, she's sounded horrible. Julie says she's sleeping and she slurs a lot when she's sleeping. Well, that's all well and good, but the question then becomes: why is she sleeping so much?
Julie just told me that she did see the doctor yesterday and they cut back on of her medications - the Ativan. Hopefully it'll make a difference. Speaking of the Ativan - I did ask her at the house how much Ativan she was taking every day. She said one pill three times a day. I said "that's how it's prescribed, but I mean, how much are you actually taking every day?" She repeated that she was taking no more than three a day. Although I still, in my own mind, doubt that's true... I certainly do hope it's true. With Julie's history of self medicating, her taking too many pills would explain her sleepy mood most days.
One time during the visit the kids got upset... We had cheesecake (a big party tray) and Julie had several pieces. I let her have them... I'm not going to 'mother' her. But the kids really wanted to stop her. At one point Kayla was trying to take the tray away from her mom saying "I'm saving your life mom." But I realize that she is going to eat what she wants to eat... Either here at my house or at home.
But - overall - Julie's visit on Wednesday night was good.
Thank you by the way to the two of you who offered bikes to us. Debi... I will be giving you a call probably this weekend if that's okay. Michelle... Will it fit in your car? (I don't know if your Jeep seats lay down or not.)
An update on my mom... She is still in the hospital. She sounds better today than she did on Wednesday, so that's good. She could still use prayers though.
I suppose it's a good time to talk about the kid's grades. We'll start with my boy, Jonathan. He has one D in Science, and an F - but I don't think the F is accurate. It's in his computer class... And trust me when I tell you that if there were one thing Jonathan was good in, it would be Computers. I've had problems with this teacher in the past - Justin had her last year. She is VERY bad about putting things into the computer system (Edline), which is ironic since she's a computer teacher. But I am not taking that F seriously until after I've spoken with the teacher. I have a call and email out to her, neither of which have yet to be returned.
Kayte is doing okay. She has a C in Algebra, but everything else is A's and B's. She expects to be able to have her cell phone back Monday (getting all grades up to A's and B's). We'll see if / when that happens.
Kayla is doing okay with the exception of English. She has a D in English. It's not for lack of trying; she has no zeros in the class, but does have two F's that sank her grade.
Justin... Justin is a whole different story. Justin has 2 D's and 3 C's that are so close to being D's it's not funny. In these 5 classes, he has 9 assignments and has a total of 21 F's. Can you BELIEVE it? I think Chris and I have decided to pull him out of Fall Baseball because of it. He HAS to know we take his grades THAT seriously.
I think Justin's problem is that he is now a Sophomore and feels big and bad. I've gotten a couple of phone calls from teachers saying they can't make him stop talking and playing around. We need to do something to get him to take school more seriously.
I should run... it's Saturday and I've got to run and clean house! I leave you with this for today:
"The soul attracts that which it secretly harbors; that which it loves, and also that which it fears; it reaches the height of its cherished aspirations; it falls to the level of its unchastened desires. Every thought-seed sown or allowed to fall into the mind, and to take root there, produces its own, blossoming sooner or later into act, and bearing its own furtive of opportunity and circumstance. Good thoughts bear good fruit;bad thought, bad fruit."-- James Allen
Here is a photo of the happy couple:
And the new Rhodes / Case family:If you'd like to see all the pictures, go to this link!
I wanted to blog about Julie's visit on Wednesday. She's funny ya know, she reads my blogs many times... She asked me to please not write anything bad about her visit in this blog. Funny. I told her that she really SHOULD NOT read the blogs... That it was a journal for my innermost feelings on the whole Julie/ Rhocchini Kids experience. My thoughts and feelings. I don't MIND her reading them, but I think she'd be better off emotionally if she did not. Anyways....
The visit was fine. Something is not quite right with her medicines. She was sleepy and shaking. She said she had a follow-up visit with her psychiatrist on Thursday, and I asked her to tell the doctor about the symptoms. Additionally, every time I've talked to Julie on the phone, she's sounded horrible. Julie says she's sleeping and she slurs a lot when she's sleeping. Well, that's all well and good, but the question then becomes: why is she sleeping so much?
Julie just told me that she did see the doctor yesterday and they cut back on of her medications - the Ativan. Hopefully it'll make a difference. Speaking of the Ativan - I did ask her at the house how much Ativan she was taking every day. She said one pill three times a day. I said "that's how it's prescribed, but I mean, how much are you actually taking every day?" She repeated that she was taking no more than three a day. Although I still, in my own mind, doubt that's true... I certainly do hope it's true. With Julie's history of self medicating, her taking too many pills would explain her sleepy mood most days.
One time during the visit the kids got upset... We had cheesecake (a big party tray) and Julie had several pieces. I let her have them... I'm not going to 'mother' her. But the kids really wanted to stop her. At one point Kayla was trying to take the tray away from her mom saying "I'm saving your life mom." But I realize that she is going to eat what she wants to eat... Either here at my house or at home.
But - overall - Julie's visit on Wednesday night was good.
Thank you by the way to the two of you who offered bikes to us. Debi... I will be giving you a call probably this weekend if that's okay. Michelle... Will it fit in your car? (I don't know if your Jeep seats lay down or not.)
An update on my mom... She is still in the hospital. She sounds better today than she did on Wednesday, so that's good. She could still use prayers though.
I suppose it's a good time to talk about the kid's grades. We'll start with my boy, Jonathan. He has one D in Science, and an F - but I don't think the F is accurate. It's in his computer class... And trust me when I tell you that if there were one thing Jonathan was good in, it would be Computers. I've had problems with this teacher in the past - Justin had her last year. She is VERY bad about putting things into the computer system (Edline), which is ironic since she's a computer teacher. But I am not taking that F seriously until after I've spoken with the teacher. I have a call and email out to her, neither of which have yet to be returned.
Kayte is doing okay. She has a C in Algebra, but everything else is A's and B's. She expects to be able to have her cell phone back Monday (getting all grades up to A's and B's). We'll see if / when that happens.
Kayla is doing okay with the exception of English. She has a D in English. It's not for lack of trying; she has no zeros in the class, but does have two F's that sank her grade.
Justin... Justin is a whole different story. Justin has 2 D's and 3 C's that are so close to being D's it's not funny. In these 5 classes, he has 9 assignments and has a total of 21 F's. Can you BELIEVE it? I think Chris and I have decided to pull him out of Fall Baseball because of it. He HAS to know we take his grades THAT seriously.
I think Justin's problem is that he is now a Sophomore and feels big and bad. I've gotten a couple of phone calls from teachers saying they can't make him stop talking and playing around. We need to do something to get him to take school more seriously.
I should run... it's Saturday and I've got to run and clean house! I leave you with this for today:
"The soul attracts that which it secretly harbors; that which it loves, and also that which it fears; it reaches the height of its cherished aspirations; it falls to the level of its unchastened desires. Every thought-seed sown or allowed to fall into the mind, and to take root there, produces its own, blossoming sooner or later into act, and bearing its own furtive of opportunity and circumstance. Good thoughts bear good fruit;bad thought, bad fruit."-- James Allen
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Angry Kids and Sick Mom
It's Wednesday. You know what that means... "Julie Day". I've talked to her a couple of times today, and again today she's slurring her words. She told me the other day that she flushed her Soma prescription, so I'm really not sure what she is taking too much of to cause her to be impaired. She is on Ativan, which she is supposed to take one pill three times a day - I'm absolutely certain that she takes more than that - and maybe that's it. Who knows.... I just hope and pray the visit goes well tonight.
I have a house FULL of angry kids right now. I went home at lunch today (as I do every day) only to find clothes that were to be done yesterday still in the dryer, dirty dishes in the sink, dirty cups everywhere, floors that look filthy, hair gel bottles everywhere, school work scattered here and there, shoes here and there... Just tons of things out of order. I HATE that. Not to mention the recycle bin wasn't put out and so it was missed. The garbage was only picked up because I took out the can, and nobody ever put it back, it's still lying out - empty - next to the street from yesterday's trash day. We won't even talk about the front yard, with shirts by the basketball hoop, trash in the yard, and water bottles scattered about. (All the kids come to our house to play, so it's somewhat understandable.) And I won't even talk about the fact that their rooms look as if bombs went off in them.
So... At lunch... Filled with frustration... I locked the computer by changing the password. Yeah, the kids were thrilled with me about this. Jonathan has hung up on me at least three times this afternoon. I decided to do this mainly because Kayte mentioned how much I get onto them about things so often. And I thought to myself... I know EXACTLY what they do after school... They immediately jump on the computer and watch TV. I can nix one of those easily and quickly. I can simply REMOVE the temptation.
I figured that they would call me looking for the password and I would give it to them - AFTER I was sure that they had done all their homework and chores.
However, what ended up happening is I had a house full of very angry teenagers. Jonathan actually got angry, dropped cereal all over the kitchen floor as Kayte was trying to mop it. When she said something to him telling him to STOP, he then proceeded to stomp all over the cereal, crushing it with his feet. Things got worse and I'm told Jonathan began throwing things, to the point of breaking a glass. (One of my few remaining wine glasses - wah!).
Add to that the fact that Chris ran into some problems with the job he has been doing at the beach and is no longer sure he'll be done today as planned. He had hoped to be done and home by 3 or 4 this afternoon. Now I don't know what's going on.
So to recap: Angry kids, throwing teenage tantrums, breaking things, yelling, Julie's on her way to the house and my husband is stuck at a job out at the beach. Am I in a hurry to get home?
HELL NO.
******************************************
Fast forward - I'm home now. Things are okay. I ended up taking 1/2 of a Xanax before I got home. I didn't yell.... I complimented at ALL the wonderful chores done and commended them on getting all their homework done. (Kayte argued that she always does without issue, but she was in 'attorney-mode' and I just let it go without arguing with her.)
Julie ran to the store (with my money of course) to get bread and dessert that I didn't have for tonight. She seems............. very sleepy. Shaking. Slurring a little. I dunno... I've only seen her for a few minutes so I'll let you know later how it goes.
I also heard that my mom was admitted to the hospital tonight. She has COPD and I've been quite worried about her physically.... she's not getting any younger (sorry mom) and she had the knee surgery in the recent past and isn't recovering all that well. She had been having breathing problems and so went to the doctor today. She has Pneumonia so they admitted her. Prayers for my mom would be GREATLY appreciated.
I better run. Must finish dinner. Thank you for all your thoughts and continued prayers.
When anger rises, think of the consequences. - Confucius
I have a house FULL of angry kids right now. I went home at lunch today (as I do every day) only to find clothes that were to be done yesterday still in the dryer, dirty dishes in the sink, dirty cups everywhere, floors that look filthy, hair gel bottles everywhere, school work scattered here and there, shoes here and there... Just tons of things out of order. I HATE that. Not to mention the recycle bin wasn't put out and so it was missed. The garbage was only picked up because I took out the can, and nobody ever put it back, it's still lying out - empty - next to the street from yesterday's trash day. We won't even talk about the front yard, with shirts by the basketball hoop, trash in the yard, and water bottles scattered about. (All the kids come to our house to play, so it's somewhat understandable.) And I won't even talk about the fact that their rooms look as if bombs went off in them.
So... At lunch... Filled with frustration... I locked the computer by changing the password. Yeah, the kids were thrilled with me about this. Jonathan has hung up on me at least three times this afternoon. I decided to do this mainly because Kayte mentioned how much I get onto them about things so often. And I thought to myself... I know EXACTLY what they do after school... They immediately jump on the computer and watch TV. I can nix one of those easily and quickly. I can simply REMOVE the temptation.
I figured that they would call me looking for the password and I would give it to them - AFTER I was sure that they had done all their homework and chores.
However, what ended up happening is I had a house full of very angry teenagers. Jonathan actually got angry, dropped cereal all over the kitchen floor as Kayte was trying to mop it. When she said something to him telling him to STOP, he then proceeded to stomp all over the cereal, crushing it with his feet. Things got worse and I'm told Jonathan began throwing things, to the point of breaking a glass. (One of my few remaining wine glasses - wah!).
Add to that the fact that Chris ran into some problems with the job he has been doing at the beach and is no longer sure he'll be done today as planned. He had hoped to be done and home by 3 or 4 this afternoon. Now I don't know what's going on.
So to recap: Angry kids, throwing teenage tantrums, breaking things, yelling, Julie's on her way to the house and my husband is stuck at a job out at the beach. Am I in a hurry to get home?
HELL NO.
******************************************
Fast forward - I'm home now. Things are okay. I ended up taking 1/2 of a Xanax before I got home. I didn't yell.... I complimented at ALL the wonderful chores done and commended them on getting all their homework done. (Kayte argued that she always does without issue, but she was in 'attorney-mode' and I just let it go without arguing with her.)
Julie ran to the store (with my money of course) to get bread and dessert that I didn't have for tonight. She seems............. very sleepy. Shaking. Slurring a little. I dunno... I've only seen her for a few minutes so I'll let you know later how it goes.
I also heard that my mom was admitted to the hospital tonight. She has COPD and I've been quite worried about her physically.... she's not getting any younger (sorry mom) and she had the knee surgery in the recent past and isn't recovering all that well. She had been having breathing problems and so went to the doctor today. She has Pneumonia so they admitted her. Prayers for my mom would be GREATLY appreciated.
I better run. Must finish dinner. Thank you for all your thoughts and continued prayers.
When anger rises, think of the consequences. - Confucius
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Horrible Day
Let me tell you about my horrible day.
It started last night - I came home from bible study at about 10pm only to find kids still up. I had called them at 9 reminding them all to go to bed. As usual.... nobody listens to me.
As late as 10:30 Justin even comes down to give me a hug and kiss goodnight. It's frustrating because then I have to get onto him about the lateness of his bedtime when all he wants is a hug.
At 11:30 I go to bed and Kayla is up cleaning her room and Justin is still awake. (I always check on them before turning in for the night) Of course I yell at both of them and tell them to GET TO SLEEP. Additionally, when I checked Jonathan's alarm to make sure it was on, he rolled over, woke up, and told me that I didn't need to get up every morning to wake him up. He could get up just fine on his own. This is great news for me... I HATE getting up at 5:30 every morning.
I go to bed, setting my alarm clock to wake me at the time that **I** need to wake up: 7:40.
At 6:20 in the morning however, I wake up on my own. Usually it's pure chaos at this time in the Rhocchini house.... Justin coming into our room to borrow the iron; Jonathan coming in to use my brush; Kayte coming in looking for tweezers in my bathroom; doors slamming downstairs; kids fighting.... All normal morning stuff. This morning - it's totally silent - and DARK. I get up and find all four kids still soundly sleeping. Their bus comes in TEN MINUTES. I frantically start yelling, telling everyone that they overslept.... They have 10 minutes to run and catch their bus.
Of course, ALL FOUR kids state that their alarm clocks malfunctioned - miraculously on the same day and set for totally different times. After I begin the "I told you so" speech because they went to bed SO LATE and I knew they were going to have problems getting up... All four tell me that their late bedtime in absolutely NO WAY had ANYTHING to do with why they overslept. Leading this argument for the kids was Kayte. It was all I could do to not beat her. The LAST thing I want to do at 6:25 on a Tuesday morning is argue with Kayte in her "attorney-mode".
At 6:25 I walk to the three bedrooms to make sure everyone is nearly dressed. Where is Justin??? Still in bed, under the covers. He has FIVE MINUTES. I say to him "Justin! Get up!!!!" He says... Oh you are going to love this.... "I AM UP." I told him his bus comes in FIVE MINUTES and he must get up. He repeats "I am up!!" I look at him - bewildered - laying in the bed. I finally shout "VERTICAL JUSTIN... GET UP.... VERTICLE... GET READY FOR SCHOOL!!!" He gets up.
Frrrrrrrrrrustrating!!!
Then I get to work only to get an email from a teacher of Kayte's. She was supposed to go on a medical field trip. I don't know what it was about - Kayte just told me last week that she needed $27. Then this weekend she tells me she needs the paperwork signed.
I signed everything except for the medical release part. Usually there are two parts on a school permission slip for medical treatment: one authorizing them to do anything they deem necessary - one saying you do not authorize anything other than life-threatening treatment to be done.
This permission slip had only the first option. I didn't sign that area... But I signed everywhere else. The teacher told Kayte that 1. She couldn't go because I wouldn't sign there and 2. I couldn't get my money back.
Well... I was ALL OVER THAT. I emailed the teacher today, probably 5 times conversing back and forth. Then I talked to the principal. She is looking into it for me. She said that there are parents with students who, for religious purposes, will not sign a blanket medical release, but the school had to respect their wishes and allow them to go anyways. This should be no different. It's a choice. It's MY choice. So... We'll see what happens there.
I didn't tell you guys that I got my electric bill for the month. Remember, I couldn't wait for it this time because we fixed the dryer venting.
Did it help???
No.
My electric bill this month... A staggering $435.00.
Oh
My
God
I've been filled with shock and fear since I opened the bill. I called them to find out if there is any way this could be incorrect. They ran me through the normal questions: what temp. Do you have your AC set at during the day.... Do you use your water heater every day... Do you have a pool... Etc. I answered everything, but - still - nothing has CHANGED so it doesn't explain the ginormous jump in the electric bill.
I have, however, turned the AC up to 90 during the day and 85 at night. That'll last until Chris gets home I'm sure as it's hard to walk around the house sweating profusely and not turn the AC down. But for now... It at least helps me to FEEL that I'm doing SOMETHING.
My horrible day ended with a knock on the door. On Friday night this week the girls had a friend sleep over. This friend has been through some horrible stuff… her mom died and her Aunt and Uncle are now raising her – they were awarded permanent custody from DCF. The Uncle is a retired corrections officer. We have a lot in common with this family. Anyways………….
The Aunt, Uncle and their Niece are at my door and ask to come in tonight at 9pm to talk to me. Well… when she spent the night on Friday night and all day Saturday – she was here because she was running away from home. The Aunt/Uncle tell me that she had gone to the Football Game at Gaither in hopes of just leaving there are ‘running away’ to wherever… and Kayte and Kayla took her in and said “come to my house”. They wanted to thank us for providing a safe haven for their little girl in the midst of her troubles.
It was good………. And bad….. at the same time! Of course it wasn't all 'thank you' words... there were plenty of concerns about their Niece going missing... they should have called DCF... my kids didn't call her until Saturday and they were worried sick all night Friday. For the most part they just wanted to tell me - if this girl came over my house again - please call them and ask if she is supposed to be there. Sigh..........
Now it’s 9:44 at night. I’ve yelled “go to bed” at least 4 times already trying to type this blog. I need to go upstairs and kick some teenage butt and then go relax myself until bed time.
Before I leave for the night though... I have a request. A rare request for something that's not included in a "Top 5 List". The kids are getting SO active... they want to get to the football games, go to the park, go to friends houses. We have two bikes, (both somewhat broken - meaning, neither of them the kids can actually use at this time) and four active teenagers. If any of you have or know of someone who has a bicycle that they would be willing to donate to us -- I would GREATLY appreciate it. It would really help out with the busy times here.
Please keep all of us in your prayers. In particular – please pray for a – ‘change’ I am thinking about making that I can’t blog about just yet here. Pray that God will guide me in the right direction for me and for the family. Pray for patience and understanding. And pray for Amanda and Gene who will be getting married on Thursday.
For the most part, fear is nothing but an illusion.
When you share it with someone else, it tends to disappear.
Marilyn C. Barrick
It started last night - I came home from bible study at about 10pm only to find kids still up. I had called them at 9 reminding them all to go to bed. As usual.... nobody listens to me.
As late as 10:30 Justin even comes down to give me a hug and kiss goodnight. It's frustrating because then I have to get onto him about the lateness of his bedtime when all he wants is a hug.
At 11:30 I go to bed and Kayla is up cleaning her room and Justin is still awake. (I always check on them before turning in for the night) Of course I yell at both of them and tell them to GET TO SLEEP. Additionally, when I checked Jonathan's alarm to make sure it was on, he rolled over, woke up, and told me that I didn't need to get up every morning to wake him up. He could get up just fine on his own. This is great news for me... I HATE getting up at 5:30 every morning.
I go to bed, setting my alarm clock to wake me at the time that **I** need to wake up: 7:40.
At 6:20 in the morning however, I wake up on my own. Usually it's pure chaos at this time in the Rhocchini house.... Justin coming into our room to borrow the iron; Jonathan coming in to use my brush; Kayte coming in looking for tweezers in my bathroom; doors slamming downstairs; kids fighting.... All normal morning stuff. This morning - it's totally silent - and DARK. I get up and find all four kids still soundly sleeping. Their bus comes in TEN MINUTES. I frantically start yelling, telling everyone that they overslept.... They have 10 minutes to run and catch their bus.
Of course, ALL FOUR kids state that their alarm clocks malfunctioned - miraculously on the same day and set for totally different times. After I begin the "I told you so" speech because they went to bed SO LATE and I knew they were going to have problems getting up... All four tell me that their late bedtime in absolutely NO WAY had ANYTHING to do with why they overslept. Leading this argument for the kids was Kayte. It was all I could do to not beat her. The LAST thing I want to do at 6:25 on a Tuesday morning is argue with Kayte in her "attorney-mode".
At 6:25 I walk to the three bedrooms to make sure everyone is nearly dressed. Where is Justin??? Still in bed, under the covers. He has FIVE MINUTES. I say to him "Justin! Get up!!!!" He says... Oh you are going to love this.... "I AM UP." I told him his bus comes in FIVE MINUTES and he must get up. He repeats "I am up!!" I look at him - bewildered - laying in the bed. I finally shout "VERTICAL JUSTIN... GET UP.... VERTICLE... GET READY FOR SCHOOL!!!" He gets up.
Frrrrrrrrrrustrating!!!
Then I get to work only to get an email from a teacher of Kayte's. She was supposed to go on a medical field trip. I don't know what it was about - Kayte just told me last week that she needed $27. Then this weekend she tells me she needs the paperwork signed.
I signed everything except for the medical release part. Usually there are two parts on a school permission slip for medical treatment: one authorizing them to do anything they deem necessary - one saying you do not authorize anything other than life-threatening treatment to be done.
This permission slip had only the first option. I didn't sign that area... But I signed everywhere else. The teacher told Kayte that 1. She couldn't go because I wouldn't sign there and 2. I couldn't get my money back.
Well... I was ALL OVER THAT. I emailed the teacher today, probably 5 times conversing back and forth. Then I talked to the principal. She is looking into it for me. She said that there are parents with students who, for religious purposes, will not sign a blanket medical release, but the school had to respect their wishes and allow them to go anyways. This should be no different. It's a choice. It's MY choice. So... We'll see what happens there.
I didn't tell you guys that I got my electric bill for the month. Remember, I couldn't wait for it this time because we fixed the dryer venting.
Did it help???
No.
My electric bill this month... A staggering $435.00.
Oh
My
God
I've been filled with shock and fear since I opened the bill. I called them to find out if there is any way this could be incorrect. They ran me through the normal questions: what temp. Do you have your AC set at during the day.... Do you use your water heater every day... Do you have a pool... Etc. I answered everything, but - still - nothing has CHANGED so it doesn't explain the ginormous jump in the electric bill.
I have, however, turned the AC up to 90 during the day and 85 at night. That'll last until Chris gets home I'm sure as it's hard to walk around the house sweating profusely and not turn the AC down. But for now... It at least helps me to FEEL that I'm doing SOMETHING.
My horrible day ended with a knock on the door. On Friday night this week the girls had a friend sleep over. This friend has been through some horrible stuff… her mom died and her Aunt and Uncle are now raising her – they were awarded permanent custody from DCF. The Uncle is a retired corrections officer. We have a lot in common with this family. Anyways………….
The Aunt, Uncle and their Niece are at my door and ask to come in tonight at 9pm to talk to me. Well… when she spent the night on Friday night and all day Saturday – she was here because she was running away from home. The Aunt/Uncle tell me that she had gone to the Football Game at Gaither in hopes of just leaving there are ‘running away’ to wherever… and Kayte and Kayla took her in and said “come to my house”. They wanted to thank us for providing a safe haven for their little girl in the midst of her troubles.
It was good………. And bad….. at the same time! Of course it wasn't all 'thank you' words... there were plenty of concerns about their Niece going missing... they should have called DCF... my kids didn't call her until Saturday and they were worried sick all night Friday. For the most part they just wanted to tell me - if this girl came over my house again - please call them and ask if she is supposed to be there. Sigh..........
Now it’s 9:44 at night. I’ve yelled “go to bed” at least 4 times already trying to type this blog. I need to go upstairs and kick some teenage butt and then go relax myself until bed time.
Before I leave for the night though... I have a request. A rare request for something that's not included in a "Top 5 List". The kids are getting SO active... they want to get to the football games, go to the park, go to friends houses. We have two bikes, (both somewhat broken - meaning, neither of them the kids can actually use at this time) and four active teenagers. If any of you have or know of someone who has a bicycle that they would be willing to donate to us -- I would GREATLY appreciate it. It would really help out with the busy times here.
Please keep all of us in your prayers. In particular – please pray for a – ‘change’ I am thinking about making that I can’t blog about just yet here. Pray that God will guide me in the right direction for me and for the family. Pray for patience and understanding. And pray for Amanda and Gene who will be getting married on Thursday.
For the most part, fear is nothing but an illusion.
When you share it with someone else, it tends to disappear.
Marilyn C. Barrick
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Lying and Playing Dumb
So.... I was talking to my sister Katie today who told me that Kayte sent her a reply on her email today. This is odd because Kayte is on restriction from the computer while she has a "D" in a class.
The rules are very simple.... you must maintain A's, B's or C's in school. Any D warrants one thing being taken away (i.e. computer, phone, depending on what Chris and I deem the appropriate one to take away). Needless to say, if you have more than one D, several things go away. If you have an F... you are on "lock-down" restriction until your grades are back up to our standards. We do not sway from these rules... we do not 'give in' -- EVER. The rules have been the same since the day they moved in.
So.... why was Kayte on the computer???
Well... Kayte LOVES the computer. I knew it was going to be hard for her. I really didn't expect her to be the one to break the rules though. I called her and she said "Oh.... you mean I can't be on yahoo too?" And when I said "Uh........ YES!!" She said, "well, I was talking to my grandma!" I told her I didn't care who the heck she was talking to.... she was not allowed to USE THE COMPUTER. Period. End of story.
Get your grades up. Get the computer back. Simple right?
I was talking to Kayte on the phone and she played SOOOOOOOO STUPID with me that I honestly felt as if I could throw the phone. It was like talking to a 3 year old about geometry. Only... I KNEW that she KNEW better. She's gonna play DUMB with me???
I don't think so!
So.... we get home (I was out of the house at the time) and I called a quick kid meeting. I have them all in the same room and I begin to explain the rules to them again, only this time I talked to them as if they were 3 years old.
"What does it mean when I say you are on restriction from the computer? Does it mean you can talk to some people and just not others???"
Kayte says "Auntie Tina, it's straight... I get it". I said... "NO, Kayte I think you obviously don't. So we are going to talk about it to make SURE there is nobody here who can play dumb again."
Then I proceeded to give other examples: Phone restriction doesn't mean you can talk to your boyfriend and you can't talk to anyone else. Game restriction doesn't mean you can't play the X-Box but you CAN play Play-station. Trying to hit the point home.
Chris comes walking down the stairs with a phone in his hand. A phone he just found UNDER Kayla's PILLOW. Guess who is on phone restriction??? Yeah............. Kayla.
Kayla says "It wasn't ME". Uh... yeah... someone planted it Kayla. I think not. Then she says "Kayte is in my room on the phone sometimes." For grins, we asked Kayte if she put the phone under Kayla's pillow - no she did not. It's CRYSTAL CLEAR to us that Kayla was lying. Chris was trying to get her to admit to it.
She would not.
She started crying... and Chris started shouting at her. Frankly.... I honestly believe they need to be yelled at MORE. She needed to know that lying is NOT okay. So... he's telling her that we are SICK AND TIRED of her lying all the time. Still she is denying any wrong-doing.
We then check the "calls dialed last" log. Kayla's friend. Kayla's boyfriend. Kayla's boyfriend again. Kayla's friend. Uh... STILL, if you can believe this, Kayla denies making any calls. Except her boyfriend. She did call him.... and then gave a reason why she did. Just as she did the other day... she admitted to a lie, but then would refuse to admit that she REALLY lied at all.
It's SOOOOOOOOOO frustrating. You just can't imagine.
Oh... and during all of this mess.... the phone rings:
Tina: "Hello" (In my normal chipper voice)
Caller: "KAYLA!!!" (Shouting!)
Tina: "Hello????"
Caller: "KAYLA!!!!"
Tina: "No, this is Tina. Who is this?
Caller hangs up.
IMMEDIATELY I call the number back. Literally two seconds later. Same guy answers. I say, "Hi, this is Tina. You just called my house and asked for Kayla. Who is this???"
This freaking kid claims he did NOT call my house. He said "someone else was using my phone". I tell him, you just called here TWO SECONDS AGO. He still claims he never made the call. Geez.... think he sounds like Kayla???
I tell this young man that I expect to never - EVER - receive another phone call from this number. He is NEVER welcome to call my home again.
Why these kids hang out with these losers.... I don't know. Absolutely NO phone etiquette AT ALL.
While driving the kids to Church tonight, I asked Kayla about her lies. She was making jokes about some lies she's told in the past that she couldn't BELIEVE she told. She told me about one time when she was babysitting this woman's baby. She was allowed to eat food out of the kitchen, but Kayla found some 'hidden' food in some other room. (A bedroom or office maybe.) The point is, the food was NOT in a place you would expect it to be. The 'food' she found was M&M's. When the woman came home, she noticed her "presidential M&M's" were missing. Apparently they were M&M's that she got while visiting the president of the United States and she was given these special edition M&M's... with the presidential seal on them. Kayla not only ate them, but then blamed the baby she was watching. She was laughing about it now, realizing that there was no way a "baby" was going to eat M&M's. But her candor and laughing about it, and my realization of how MANY stories like this Kayla has.... it's sad... and it's frightening.
I have lots more I could blog about here... but honestly - Chris just left to pick the kids up from Church and he's leaving tomorrow for work - A.G.A.I.N. This is week 3 for this job... but it won't be a full week. Hopefully he'll be done on Wednesday because on Thursday our daughter is getting married. It's so hard to even fathom.
Amanda.
Married.
Ugg... I just can't even believe I'm this old.
Anyways, I want to spend my last night with Chris with HIM after getting the kids to bed, so I'll blog some more next week. Lots I want to fill you in on -- mainly about my new God-Daughter, Isabella. :o)
For now... I leave you with this. I think I should print it and put it in each kids room....
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother"-which is the first commandment with a promise- "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians - Chapter 6:1-4
The rules are very simple.... you must maintain A's, B's or C's in school. Any D warrants one thing being taken away (i.e. computer, phone, depending on what Chris and I deem the appropriate one to take away). Needless to say, if you have more than one D, several things go away. If you have an F... you are on "lock-down" restriction until your grades are back up to our standards. We do not sway from these rules... we do not 'give in' -- EVER. The rules have been the same since the day they moved in.
So.... why was Kayte on the computer???
Well... Kayte LOVES the computer. I knew it was going to be hard for her. I really didn't expect her to be the one to break the rules though. I called her and she said "Oh.... you mean I can't be on yahoo too?" And when I said "Uh........ YES!!" She said, "well, I was talking to my grandma!" I told her I didn't care who the heck she was talking to.... she was not allowed to USE THE COMPUTER. Period. End of story.
Get your grades up. Get the computer back. Simple right?
I was talking to Kayte on the phone and she played SOOOOOOOO STUPID with me that I honestly felt as if I could throw the phone. It was like talking to a 3 year old about geometry. Only... I KNEW that she KNEW better. She's gonna play DUMB with me???
I don't think so!
So.... we get home (I was out of the house at the time) and I called a quick kid meeting. I have them all in the same room and I begin to explain the rules to them again, only this time I talked to them as if they were 3 years old.
"What does it mean when I say you are on restriction from the computer? Does it mean you can talk to some people and just not others???"
Kayte says "Auntie Tina, it's straight... I get it". I said... "NO, Kayte I think you obviously don't. So we are going to talk about it to make SURE there is nobody here who can play dumb again."
Then I proceeded to give other examples: Phone restriction doesn't mean you can talk to your boyfriend and you can't talk to anyone else. Game restriction doesn't mean you can't play the X-Box but you CAN play Play-station. Trying to hit the point home.
Chris comes walking down the stairs with a phone in his hand. A phone he just found UNDER Kayla's PILLOW. Guess who is on phone restriction??? Yeah............. Kayla.
Kayla says "It wasn't ME". Uh... yeah... someone planted it Kayla. I think not. Then she says "Kayte is in my room on the phone sometimes." For grins, we asked Kayte if she put the phone under Kayla's pillow - no she did not. It's CRYSTAL CLEAR to us that Kayla was lying. Chris was trying to get her to admit to it.
She would not.
She started crying... and Chris started shouting at her. Frankly.... I honestly believe they need to be yelled at MORE. She needed to know that lying is NOT okay. So... he's telling her that we are SICK AND TIRED of her lying all the time. Still she is denying any wrong-doing.
We then check the "calls dialed last" log. Kayla's friend. Kayla's boyfriend. Kayla's boyfriend again. Kayla's friend. Uh... STILL, if you can believe this, Kayla denies making any calls. Except her boyfriend. She did call him.... and then gave a reason why she did. Just as she did the other day... she admitted to a lie, but then would refuse to admit that she REALLY lied at all.
It's SOOOOOOOOOO frustrating. You just can't imagine.
Oh... and during all of this mess.... the phone rings:
Tina: "Hello" (In my normal chipper voice)
Caller: "KAYLA!!!" (Shouting!)
Tina: "Hello????"
Caller: "KAYLA!!!!"
Tina: "No, this is Tina. Who is this?
Caller hangs up.
IMMEDIATELY I call the number back. Literally two seconds later. Same guy answers. I say, "Hi, this is Tina. You just called my house and asked for Kayla. Who is this???"
This freaking kid claims he did NOT call my house. He said "someone else was using my phone". I tell him, you just called here TWO SECONDS AGO. He still claims he never made the call. Geez.... think he sounds like Kayla???
I tell this young man that I expect to never - EVER - receive another phone call from this number. He is NEVER welcome to call my home again.
Why these kids hang out with these losers.... I don't know. Absolutely NO phone etiquette AT ALL.
While driving the kids to Church tonight, I asked Kayla about her lies. She was making jokes about some lies she's told in the past that she couldn't BELIEVE she told. She told me about one time when she was babysitting this woman's baby. She was allowed to eat food out of the kitchen, but Kayla found some 'hidden' food in some other room. (A bedroom or office maybe.) The point is, the food was NOT in a place you would expect it to be. The 'food' she found was M&M's. When the woman came home, she noticed her "presidential M&M's" were missing. Apparently they were M&M's that she got while visiting the president of the United States and she was given these special edition M&M's... with the presidential seal on them. Kayla not only ate them, but then blamed the baby she was watching. She was laughing about it now, realizing that there was no way a "baby" was going to eat M&M's. But her candor and laughing about it, and my realization of how MANY stories like this Kayla has.... it's sad... and it's frightening.
I have lots more I could blog about here... but honestly - Chris just left to pick the kids up from Church and he's leaving tomorrow for work - A.G.A.I.N. This is week 3 for this job... but it won't be a full week. Hopefully he'll be done on Wednesday because on Thursday our daughter is getting married. It's so hard to even fathom.
Amanda.
Married.
Ugg... I just can't even believe I'm this old.
Anyways, I want to spend my last night with Chris with HIM after getting the kids to bed, so I'll blog some more next week. Lots I want to fill you in on -- mainly about my new God-Daughter, Isabella. :o)
For now... I leave you with this. I think I should print it and put it in each kids room....
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother"-which is the first commandment with a promise- "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians - Chapter 6:1-4
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Day Two, Week Two
I just couldn't go to bed tonight and not post. Thanks to the friends who have called today to check in on me... it means a lot. (Sorry Peggy, just got your message - too late to call!) Mom, Evie, Peggy, Michelle, Debi, Katie, Chris.... what a great support system I have.
I'm doing better today. All is not totally well, but I'm some better.
Julie has called me a lot today. Many times at work, and we were very busy today.... I just couldn't talk to her there. Plus she was slurring her words something horrible. But then she'd call just to make sure I wasn't upset, because I said I'd call her back later. She completely forgot one phone call we had late afternoon: I called her back and we talked about her weekly visit tomorrow night. She asked what I was cooking, what time she should come over, etc. But then only 2 hours or so later, she called me and didn't remember that phone call at all.
She's on some medication today, for sure. She SAID she's not. She's only on Soma (not one pill, no - no, she took three). Plus Ativan. Plus Tylenol and whatever else she had of her normal medication.
She called tonight and I listened in on the phone call to little Kayte. She'd say something to Kayte like "what period do you have ROTC?" Kayte would respond. Then another question later Julie would ask "what period do you have ROTC?" When she hung up, Kayte came over and asked me what was wrong with her mom. Again, she's slurring her words and it was difficult to understand her most of the time. And again, Julie thinks nothing is wrong with her.
Justin talked to her for a minute or less... then said he had to go. (He was outside with about 10 neighbors playing basketball.) He also asked me what was wrong with her... why she sounded so bad on the phone when he talked to her briefly earlier. (He had not yet talked to Kayte or myself about Kayte's phone call to their mom). It was then that I decided Justin should NOT talk to his mom tonight. He said he didn't want to talk to her when she was "like that", but that he didn't want her feelings hurt either - and if he didn't call her back her feelings would be hurt. Sigh..........
I should call Julie back and tell her Justin isn't calling. But I'm tired. Exhausted actually. And, I just don't WANT to deal with it right now, ya know? So... I'm not calling.
There is so much more to my night tonight... but I really am too tired to blog. Please pray for the visit tomorrow to be uneventful.
OH
WAIT
I have to tell you about that....
I did call Julie back after talking to Kayte about her mom. I called her and said "Julie, I do not want you doped up like this when you come over tomorrow. If you are going to be this bad, just don't come." She said "I'm not on anything, I'm fine." I told her that she was NOT fine. I said... "whatever the hell you took today, take LESS of it tomorrow."
Go me!!!!!
Okay, now I've got to run. Must shower. Maybe I'll go dip in the hot tub. But... it's just no fun all alone. I miss Chris..........
Hey Chris.... you know, the guy who reads my blog to know what's going on in my life.... the man who is working his buns off at a job on the beach so that he can keep the roof over our heads and our lights on... this is for you....
I didn't marry you because you were perfect.
I didn't even marry you because I loved you.
I married you because you gave me a promise.
That promise made up for your faults.
And the promise I gave you made up for mine.
Two imperfect people got married and it was
the promise that made the marriage.
And when our children were growing up,
it wasn't a house that protected them;
and it wasn't our love that protected them -
it was that promise.
I'm doing better today. All is not totally well, but I'm some better.
Julie has called me a lot today. Many times at work, and we were very busy today.... I just couldn't talk to her there. Plus she was slurring her words something horrible. But then she'd call just to make sure I wasn't upset, because I said I'd call her back later. She completely forgot one phone call we had late afternoon: I called her back and we talked about her weekly visit tomorrow night. She asked what I was cooking, what time she should come over, etc. But then only 2 hours or so later, she called me and didn't remember that phone call at all.
She's on some medication today, for sure. She SAID she's not. She's only on Soma (not one pill, no - no, she took three). Plus Ativan. Plus Tylenol and whatever else she had of her normal medication.
She called tonight and I listened in on the phone call to little Kayte. She'd say something to Kayte like "what period do you have ROTC?" Kayte would respond. Then another question later Julie would ask "what period do you have ROTC?" When she hung up, Kayte came over and asked me what was wrong with her mom. Again, she's slurring her words and it was difficult to understand her most of the time. And again, Julie thinks nothing is wrong with her.
Justin talked to her for a minute or less... then said he had to go. (He was outside with about 10 neighbors playing basketball.) He also asked me what was wrong with her... why she sounded so bad on the phone when he talked to her briefly earlier. (He had not yet talked to Kayte or myself about Kayte's phone call to their mom). It was then that I decided Justin should NOT talk to his mom tonight. He said he didn't want to talk to her when she was "like that", but that he didn't want her feelings hurt either - and if he didn't call her back her feelings would be hurt. Sigh..........
I should call Julie back and tell her Justin isn't calling. But I'm tired. Exhausted actually. And, I just don't WANT to deal with it right now, ya know? So... I'm not calling.
There is so much more to my night tonight... but I really am too tired to blog. Please pray for the visit tomorrow to be uneventful.
OH
WAIT
I have to tell you about that....
I did call Julie back after talking to Kayte about her mom. I called her and said "Julie, I do not want you doped up like this when you come over tomorrow. If you are going to be this bad, just don't come." She said "I'm not on anything, I'm fine." I told her that she was NOT fine. I said... "whatever the hell you took today, take LESS of it tomorrow."
Go me!!!!!
Okay, now I've got to run. Must shower. Maybe I'll go dip in the hot tub. But... it's just no fun all alone. I miss Chris..........
Hey Chris.... you know, the guy who reads my blog to know what's going on in my life.... the man who is working his buns off at a job on the beach so that he can keep the roof over our heads and our lights on... this is for you....
I didn't marry you because you were perfect.
I didn't even marry you because I loved you.
I married you because you gave me a promise.
That promise made up for your faults.
And the promise I gave you made up for mine.
Two imperfect people got married and it was
the promise that made the marriage.
And when our children were growing up,
it wasn't a house that protected them;
and it wasn't our love that protected them -
it was that promise.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Stressed To Tears
Let me tell you how COMPLETELY different it is raising Julie's three teenagers. The things I have to deal with here that are SO totally different than what I had to deal with when I had Amanda.
The phone rings on Sunday. Some guy who calls himself "Dre". I picked up the phone at the same time as Justin did. I hear the guy ask to speak with Kayla.
Dre: "You man, lemme hit up Kayla".
Justin calls out Kayla's name. Justin is out of breath, he just finished mowing the grass. Then Justin says "Imma get her. So what's up Nigga?"
Dre says "Yo, Justin, you high Nigga?"
Justin said, "What?"
Dre repeats "Yo, man, are you high? Did you just smoke"
Justin said "Naw man, I don't smoke." Then he calls for Kayla again.
So.... what AM I supposed to think about this boy that the FIRST thing he thinks when talking to someone is that they are 'high'????? That and that this guy sounds like so many of the other guys who call the house.... like......... like he just robbed a liquor store. It's frustrating. I want them to STOP associating with these kinds of low-life people. We lead by example... but they do NOT always follow.
Just Sunday I found out - through checking Myspace accounts - that someone here is associating with a different kind of bad group at school. This 'group' is a couple of people who created a myspace page where they just 'gossip' and spread rumors about people. They talk about who slept with who and where, who is kissing one person while going out with someone else, and they make fun of people and call them losers and whores and such... even creating a top 10 list. Just.... mean and hateful stuff. The page was designed for one thing, to get people angry and upset. Today I find out that someone here not only participates in this gossip, but is actually a 'reporter' for them... telling them who is kissing who and who slept with who. It's sad. The kids who have been 'hurt' by these rumors are VERY angry. To the point where the 'creators' of the page know if their names are ever found out they could be 'killed' for it. It hurts to read the myspace messages from friends who have been hurt by things that were said and for someone here to claim to know nothing about who the people are or where they are getting their information from. I see a spinning a web of lies that could EASILY get someone hurt.It's not a matter of 'if' people find out... it's when they find out. Surely this will come out before too long.
Ah kids!
Speaking of kids... I had a bit of a fight yesterday with Kayla. Okay... picture this....
Her bedroom... she loves hair stuff. She uses TONS of hair gel and hair spray. If you walk into her bedroom and feel the counters... they are all covered with a film.... mostly hair spray and some blobs of hair gel here and there. This isn't a new problem... remember we recently made HER pay to dry-clean the carpet.
In her bedroom she has DVD's. One I just recently took OUT of her room (because it's my movie and one of my 2 all-time favorites, "A Walk To Remember"). Where were the DVD's??? On her dresser of course. With the splattered spray and goop everywhere. I go to try to play the DVD and it won't play. It's COVERED with this same film that's all over her dresser.
So, of course, I fuss at Kayla about this. Now... I fully realize that there is nothing she can actually do at this time to FIX the problem. Sure, she could buy me another DVD with her own work money.... but my concern at the time was to express to her that SHE damaged one of MY DVD's.
Surely she could plainly see the logic in my thinking that it was HER hair spray and gel that was the cause of the FILM all over the DVD. Instead.... she just denied that it could POSSIBLY be any fault of hers.
HOW can you DENY any responsibility for this????? It boggles my mind. And worse still is that now, instead of just simply trying to get her to acknowledge fault and feel some guilt (which was the lesson I was TRYING to teach her)... now I have to ARGUE with her.
Sigh..........
Chris is gone today - it's Monday. He's back working at the beach. I've had a HORRIBLE day. I had to leave work early because of a fight that broke out here at the house. Jonathan got REALLY angry. I could go into that whole fight, but I won't. Suffice to say I left work early because of the SCREAMING that was going on over the phone. Thank goodness I work only a mile or so from home. However, by the time I got home, Chris was on the phone talking to Jonathan and had calmed the whole thing down quite a bit. Yeah Chris!! Then at 5:30 I had to take Jono to piano practice, then by 6:30 to school for a chorus meeting. I then dropped him off at home and ran to bible study. Bible study is usually over by 9 but tonight we didn't get done till 9:45 or so. Kayla got off work at 9 so she was waiting for me. I JUST now got in for the night... it's 10:12 at night.
I found myself so stressed tonight that - on the way to pick up Kayla I was crying in the car. Not for any one particular reason. It's just.................... hard.
The car is driving horribly. The kids are fighting. Chris is gone for the week. Amanda is stressing about things pertaining to her wedding. Other things that, well, I just don't blog about here. Then again... of these things - WHAT can I control?? None of them. So, no real reason to 'worry' really, right? Sigh........
I'm even kicking myself because my family hasn't been over to visit Katie, Tony and the new baby. How awful is that? We've just truly had NO time. Not one single hour. Sad, huh?
Okay.... now.... I just checked voice mail (since I just got in). There is a voice mail from one of Justin's teachers. He has 2 D's currently in school. One of the D's is Biology. The biology teacher just called the house to tell me that she can't keep Justin from talking. He talks "all the time" and that he speaks so randomly about anything that she honestly believes that he likes to just "hear himself talk". And.... Justin sitting there listening to the message (cuz I made him get down here and listen to it) shaking his head like he has NO idea what the heck she is talking about. Were this the FIRST teacher to tell us this, he might could get away with that head-shake in disbelief. However, it's not. Teachers last year and the year before said the same thing. One telling me that she could put him in a corner away from everyone and he would STILL find a way to disrupt the class. Likes to hear himself talk. I'm FURIOUS at him.
I did Chris's speech.... "If you can't control yourself, I WILL CONTROL YOU. I will control what you eat and when, what you do and do not do, what you watch, e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g." Shake his head at me. GRRRRRRRRRRR
I should run. I'm not feeling very inspired today. I actually feel like I've been hit by a car. A car driven by teenagers. I feel........ I feel like I'm doing no good here. I'm losing the battle. Like........
sigh.........
Yeah... it's been a REALLY bad day today. I'll just close with that.
The phone rings on Sunday. Some guy who calls himself "Dre". I picked up the phone at the same time as Justin did. I hear the guy ask to speak with Kayla.
Dre: "You man, lemme hit up Kayla".
Justin calls out Kayla's name. Justin is out of breath, he just finished mowing the grass. Then Justin says "Imma get her. So what's up Nigga?"
Dre says "Yo, Justin, you high Nigga?"
Justin said, "What?"
Dre repeats "Yo, man, are you high? Did you just smoke"
Justin said "Naw man, I don't smoke." Then he calls for Kayla again.
So.... what AM I supposed to think about this boy that the FIRST thing he thinks when talking to someone is that they are 'high'????? That and that this guy sounds like so many of the other guys who call the house.... like......... like he just robbed a liquor store. It's frustrating. I want them to STOP associating with these kinds of low-life people. We lead by example... but they do NOT always follow.
Just Sunday I found out - through checking Myspace accounts - that someone here is associating with a different kind of bad group at school. This 'group' is a couple of people who created a myspace page where they just 'gossip' and spread rumors about people. They talk about who slept with who and where, who is kissing one person while going out with someone else, and they make fun of people and call them losers and whores and such... even creating a top 10 list. Just.... mean and hateful stuff. The page was designed for one thing, to get people angry and upset. Today I find out that someone here not only participates in this gossip, but is actually a 'reporter' for them... telling them who is kissing who and who slept with who. It's sad. The kids who have been 'hurt' by these rumors are VERY angry. To the point where the 'creators' of the page know if their names are ever found out they could be 'killed' for it. It hurts to read the myspace messages from friends who have been hurt by things that were said and for someone here to claim to know nothing about who the people are or where they are getting their information from. I see a spinning a web of lies that could EASILY get someone hurt.It's not a matter of 'if' people find out... it's when they find out. Surely this will come out before too long.
Ah kids!
Speaking of kids... I had a bit of a fight yesterday with Kayla. Okay... picture this....
Her bedroom... she loves hair stuff. She uses TONS of hair gel and hair spray. If you walk into her bedroom and feel the counters... they are all covered with a film.... mostly hair spray and some blobs of hair gel here and there. This isn't a new problem... remember we recently made HER pay to dry-clean the carpet.
In her bedroom she has DVD's. One I just recently took OUT of her room (because it's my movie and one of my 2 all-time favorites, "A Walk To Remember"). Where were the DVD's??? On her dresser of course. With the splattered spray and goop everywhere. I go to try to play the DVD and it won't play. It's COVERED with this same film that's all over her dresser.
So, of course, I fuss at Kayla about this. Now... I fully realize that there is nothing she can actually do at this time to FIX the problem. Sure, she could buy me another DVD with her own work money.... but my concern at the time was to express to her that SHE damaged one of MY DVD's.
Surely she could plainly see the logic in my thinking that it was HER hair spray and gel that was the cause of the FILM all over the DVD. Instead.... she just denied that it could POSSIBLY be any fault of hers.
HOW can you DENY any responsibility for this????? It boggles my mind. And worse still is that now, instead of just simply trying to get her to acknowledge fault and feel some guilt (which was the lesson I was TRYING to teach her)... now I have to ARGUE with her.
Sigh..........
Chris is gone today - it's Monday. He's back working at the beach. I've had a HORRIBLE day. I had to leave work early because of a fight that broke out here at the house. Jonathan got REALLY angry. I could go into that whole fight, but I won't. Suffice to say I left work early because of the SCREAMING that was going on over the phone. Thank goodness I work only a mile or so from home. However, by the time I got home, Chris was on the phone talking to Jonathan and had calmed the whole thing down quite a bit. Yeah Chris!! Then at 5:30 I had to take Jono to piano practice, then by 6:30 to school for a chorus meeting. I then dropped him off at home and ran to bible study. Bible study is usually over by 9 but tonight we didn't get done till 9:45 or so. Kayla got off work at 9 so she was waiting for me. I JUST now got in for the night... it's 10:12 at night.
I found myself so stressed tonight that - on the way to pick up Kayla I was crying in the car. Not for any one particular reason. It's just.................... hard.
The car is driving horribly. The kids are fighting. Chris is gone for the week. Amanda is stressing about things pertaining to her wedding. Other things that, well, I just don't blog about here. Then again... of these things - WHAT can I control?? None of them. So, no real reason to 'worry' really, right? Sigh........
I'm even kicking myself because my family hasn't been over to visit Katie, Tony and the new baby. How awful is that? We've just truly had NO time. Not one single hour. Sad, huh?
Okay.... now.... I just checked voice mail (since I just got in). There is a voice mail from one of Justin's teachers. He has 2 D's currently in school. One of the D's is Biology. The biology teacher just called the house to tell me that she can't keep Justin from talking. He talks "all the time" and that he speaks so randomly about anything that she honestly believes that he likes to just "hear himself talk". And.... Justin sitting there listening to the message (cuz I made him get down here and listen to it) shaking his head like he has NO idea what the heck she is talking about. Were this the FIRST teacher to tell us this, he might could get away with that head-shake in disbelief. However, it's not. Teachers last year and the year before said the same thing. One telling me that she could put him in a corner away from everyone and he would STILL find a way to disrupt the class. Likes to hear himself talk. I'm FURIOUS at him.
I did Chris's speech.... "If you can't control yourself, I WILL CONTROL YOU. I will control what you eat and when, what you do and do not do, what you watch, e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g." Shake his head at me. GRRRRRRRRRRR
I should run. I'm not feeling very inspired today. I actually feel like I've been hit by a car. A car driven by teenagers. I feel........ I feel like I'm doing no good here. I'm losing the battle. Like........
sigh.........
Yeah... it's been a REALLY bad day today. I'll just close with that.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Parents Win!
I really wish you could hear the noise level in my house sometimes. I got home from work today and the house is L-O-U-D. Justin is begging me to take him to the park. He has not yet done his chores. From yesterday. Kayte is doing homework but complaining about it the whole time. Jonathan is on the computer, but earlier was yelling and slamming cabinet doors because Kayla was giving him a hard time. Kayla - after much fuss from me - finally did her chore - uh, yeah - from yesterday. I just yelled to Jonathan to do his chores. Sean is over here and is arguing with Justing about going to the park. The phone has rung non-stop since I walked in at 5:15. My head is killing me.............
************************************
Headline in the St. Pete Times (front page) yesterday. "The Phone War Is Over. Parents Win." Oh my GOODNESS I love this........... AT&T unveiled a new plan yesterday where parents can control everything about their kid's cell phone usage. With a simple mouse-click, I can turn Kayte's phone off while she is at school, while she should be doing homework, and after 9 pm. She can not make or receive phone calls or text messages during these times. Additionally, you can tell the program how many minutes and/or text messages your child is allowed to use. When they get to 75%, they get a warning from AT&T that they are at 75%. When they reach the alloted maximum, they can't use the phone any more. HELLO! This is freaking AWESOME! How come it took till just now for a cell phone company to do this??!! I'm lovin' it! There are other features... someone calls who we don't like, we can block their calls entirely; and we can program up to 15 numbers that will be allowed to call even in the 'off' times (as in, if Chris and I need her we will always be able to do so).
I am so happy that they have given this control to parents. They are billing it as "no more surprise phone bills" which might be a good marketing tool. But, I just want to be able to give a cell phone to one of the kids as a reward, and KNOW that they are not abusing it by using it at school or after hours. Kudos to AT&T for implementing this new technology. I hope other cell companies will soon follow and that, eventually, most kids who have cell phones in school and at night won't be on them. Kids need to learn common courtesy and they need limits. Giving the parents the tools to do this is really a great thing.
************************************
Julie is out of the hospital. Oh Lord is she out. Today I was at work on the phone with a customer taking an order.... the phone rings at work - it's Julie. I let it ring through to voice mail. Immediately following my cell phone rings. Julie. I hit 'ignore' so that I can continue this customer call. Work phone rings again, Julie. Didn't answer. Cell phone rings again, Julie. Ignore. Cell phone rings again. Ignore. Cell phone rings again, this time I pick up so she can maybe HEAR that I am working. Then I hang up (without talking to her of course, I'm on the phone with a customer). Julie calls back again.
Oh
My
God
Stop calling!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I finally got off the phone and talked to her. She wanted to tell me she was leaving the hospital, that mom "wouldn't" pick her up and that Kaye was bringing her home. Well, to the Casino where Kaye is staying for a few days to hang out for a bit and then (presumably) home. Great. And??? House burning down????? Did someone die???? Why all the phone calls one after the other, non-stop??? Just her way.
So, tonight I'm at home, on the phone with Kayla's now ex-boyfriend. He's nearly in tears and such.... wants to meet with us to explain things (more on that in a bit) and I hear call waiting. I am on a phone which doesn't show who's calling in, but this kid is pretty upset, so I ignore the incoming call and keep talking to him. Then the call-waiting again. Then again.
Oh
My
God.
I click over. Any guesses?????????????? Aww come on, that was too easy, right? Yepper - Julie. She was calling to tell me that she was still at the Casino and to ask why I bashed her new roommate in my blog. I explained that I did NOT bash her roommate in my blog. She said "Mom told me you put in there that she lost her job and she wasn't working" I explained that I had put that she just moved in, and then lost her job but was looking for another one and that I really hoped (for Julie's sake) that she did find one quickly. No bashing. SHEESH. In any case, still nobody dying... why does she just call and call and call and call??
*******************************************
So, Kayla. Let me tell you some of what is going on with her. She's been dating this guy, Chris, for the summer. She works with him. He's a nice enough guy. We always like her boyfriends, this one is no exception. Kayla has been.... what's the word..... 'flirting' is too strong a word to describe it.... she's shown an interest in other boys since school started. Chris does not go to her school, and so I pretty much expected as much. No biggie, right? Well, apparently this Chris guy is head-over-heels about Kayla. She's told me that she has tried to break up with him in the recent past and he sent flowers. He's stayed at her work (he wasn't working at the time) for HOURS waiting just to talk to her after some of the fights. The other day.... after she tried to again break up with him.... he bought her a diamond ring with wedding band. WHAAAATTTT? I totally freaked out - of course.
Without getting too personal here, I can tell you that we've talked to Kayla in length about the whole thing. The funniest part was when she was saying things like "you guys just don't understand...." I was quick to point out that - if there were TWO people on the PLANET who understood young teenage love and how it really CAN last - it's Chris and I.
Some things were said during our long conversation with Kayla that needed to be addressed by others, and so I've talked with both her guidance counselor at Gaither and Chris's guidance counselor at his high school. I actually had a long conversation with each of these counselors. What I've come to realize is that Kayla is NOT as serious as Chris is. Chris truly believes he is in love.
He is coming over the house tomorrow to have a face-to-face meeting with Chris and I to discuss his love for Kayla. I'm really worried about this as I want it to be honest and yet be kind to him. His guidance counselor today was telling me that he really seemed to like Chris. He looked up to him. He doesn't have a father in his life.........
***************************************
The Durango isn't doing so well again. Poor thing. I was driving home today, went over a bump and felt the horrible shocks. Turned the wheel and hearing the power steering groan. (Mind you I put in a whole bottle last night and only drove a mile and a half to work today.) I hit the accelerator and hear the transmission wind up, not wanting to shift to another gear. Oh boy. Can I ask for more prayers for the car? I know, I know.... pray for a car?? We NEED this car to be in good condition until the kids move out. We need something that will hold all of us. It'll be paid off in a few months. It's just got to last a little bit longer........ so pray for it even if you think it's silly. :o)
I've got to run. I need to make dinner and get ready for choir practice. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers.
Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can't build on it, it's only good for wallowing in.
Katherine Mansfield
************************************
Headline in the St. Pete Times (front page) yesterday. "The Phone War Is Over. Parents Win." Oh my GOODNESS I love this........... AT&T unveiled a new plan yesterday where parents can control everything about their kid's cell phone usage. With a simple mouse-click, I can turn Kayte's phone off while she is at school, while she should be doing homework, and after 9 pm. She can not make or receive phone calls or text messages during these times. Additionally, you can tell the program how many minutes and/or text messages your child is allowed to use. When they get to 75%, they get a warning from AT&T that they are at 75%. When they reach the alloted maximum, they can't use the phone any more. HELLO! This is freaking AWESOME! How come it took till just now for a cell phone company to do this??!! I'm lovin' it! There are other features... someone calls who we don't like, we can block their calls entirely; and we can program up to 15 numbers that will be allowed to call even in the 'off' times (as in, if Chris and I need her we will always be able to do so).
I am so happy that they have given this control to parents. They are billing it as "no more surprise phone bills" which might be a good marketing tool. But, I just want to be able to give a cell phone to one of the kids as a reward, and KNOW that they are not abusing it by using it at school or after hours. Kudos to AT&T for implementing this new technology. I hope other cell companies will soon follow and that, eventually, most kids who have cell phones in school and at night won't be on them. Kids need to learn common courtesy and they need limits. Giving the parents the tools to do this is really a great thing.
************************************
Julie is out of the hospital. Oh Lord is she out. Today I was at work on the phone with a customer taking an order.... the phone rings at work - it's Julie. I let it ring through to voice mail. Immediately following my cell phone rings. Julie. I hit 'ignore' so that I can continue this customer call. Work phone rings again, Julie. Didn't answer. Cell phone rings again, Julie. Ignore. Cell phone rings again. Ignore. Cell phone rings again, this time I pick up so she can maybe HEAR that I am working. Then I hang up (without talking to her of course, I'm on the phone with a customer). Julie calls back again.
Oh
My
God
Stop calling!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I finally got off the phone and talked to her. She wanted to tell me she was leaving the hospital, that mom "wouldn't" pick her up and that Kaye was bringing her home. Well, to the Casino where Kaye is staying for a few days to hang out for a bit and then (presumably) home. Great. And??? House burning down????? Did someone die???? Why all the phone calls one after the other, non-stop??? Just her way.
So, tonight I'm at home, on the phone with Kayla's now ex-boyfriend. He's nearly in tears and such.... wants to meet with us to explain things (more on that in a bit) and I hear call waiting. I am on a phone which doesn't show who's calling in, but this kid is pretty upset, so I ignore the incoming call and keep talking to him. Then the call-waiting again. Then again.
Oh
My
God.
I click over. Any guesses?????????????? Aww come on, that was too easy, right? Yepper - Julie. She was calling to tell me that she was still at the Casino and to ask why I bashed her new roommate in my blog. I explained that I did NOT bash her roommate in my blog. She said "Mom told me you put in there that she lost her job and she wasn't working" I explained that I had put that she just moved in, and then lost her job but was looking for another one and that I really hoped (for Julie's sake) that she did find one quickly. No bashing. SHEESH. In any case, still nobody dying... why does she just call and call and call and call??
*******************************************
So, Kayla. Let me tell you some of what is going on with her. She's been dating this guy, Chris, for the summer. She works with him. He's a nice enough guy. We always like her boyfriends, this one is no exception. Kayla has been.... what's the word..... 'flirting' is too strong a word to describe it.... she's shown an interest in other boys since school started. Chris does not go to her school, and so I pretty much expected as much. No biggie, right? Well, apparently this Chris guy is head-over-heels about Kayla. She's told me that she has tried to break up with him in the recent past and he sent flowers. He's stayed at her work (he wasn't working at the time) for HOURS waiting just to talk to her after some of the fights. The other day.... after she tried to again break up with him.... he bought her a diamond ring with wedding band. WHAAAATTTT? I totally freaked out - of course.
Without getting too personal here, I can tell you that we've talked to Kayla in length about the whole thing. The funniest part was when she was saying things like "you guys just don't understand...." I was quick to point out that - if there were TWO people on the PLANET who understood young teenage love and how it really CAN last - it's Chris and I.
Some things were said during our long conversation with Kayla that needed to be addressed by others, and so I've talked with both her guidance counselor at Gaither and Chris's guidance counselor at his high school. I actually had a long conversation with each of these counselors. What I've come to realize is that Kayla is NOT as serious as Chris is. Chris truly believes he is in love.
He is coming over the house tomorrow to have a face-to-face meeting with Chris and I to discuss his love for Kayla. I'm really worried about this as I want it to be honest and yet be kind to him. His guidance counselor today was telling me that he really seemed to like Chris. He looked up to him. He doesn't have a father in his life.........
***************************************
The Durango isn't doing so well again. Poor thing. I was driving home today, went over a bump and felt the horrible shocks. Turned the wheel and hearing the power steering groan. (Mind you I put in a whole bottle last night and only drove a mile and a half to work today.) I hit the accelerator and hear the transmission wind up, not wanting to shift to another gear. Oh boy. Can I ask for more prayers for the car? I know, I know.... pray for a car?? We NEED this car to be in good condition until the kids move out. We need something that will hold all of us. It'll be paid off in a few months. It's just got to last a little bit longer........ so pray for it even if you think it's silly. :o)
I've got to run. I need to make dinner and get ready for choir practice. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers.
Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can't build on it, it's only good for wallowing in.
Katherine Mansfield
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Hectic Day
I'm back from a long weekend at the beach. It started off REALLY long with Katie having her baby the night before we were to go... but Baby Isabella was born at 4:10 in the morning on our Anniversary, August 31st, weighing in at 7 lbs 6 ozs and 18 1/2 inches long. She was just PERFECT and I am so blessed that I was able to be there to watch the magic happen. Here is a picture of baby Isabella with her proud big sister, Tatiana.
Our friend Michelle came to our house to sit with the kids while we were away for the weekend. She brought them over to the beach Saturday afternoon and they stayed a couple of days with us. Now Michelle is staying with us for a couple days while she moves from Jacksonville to Tampa. It's funny how often I hear her chuckle to herself and then say something about how she's read all about it in the blog, but it's hard to imagine unless you are HERE actually witnessing it.
Last night Michelle ate dinner with us and - of course - there were not enough real 'cups' to go around. We've managed to go through the 36 or so that we bought several months ago, plus the 12 Julie bought a few months ago and the plastic 'extras' we pick up here and there. All nearly gone. So, when she was at Target last night, she picked up a dozen glasses for us. (Thanks Michelle) Someone want to time how long this takes before the kids have broken or lost them all?
Amanda and Gene are here today. They have a pre-marriage counseling session with Pastor Matthew. OMG... In 15 days my daughter will be married. I can hardly believe it.
Oh lordy... Hell is breaking loose at my house right now.
Justin went to a meeting at the school on Thursday for baseball tryouts. They gave him paperwork and told him that he needed to return it all, with a physical, and with paid insurance premiums, on Tuesday.
This was extremely inconvenient to us as this meant I had to get back early enough on Monday to bring him to the walk in clinic to get the physical. I also had to pay for the physical because it didn't allow me enough time to call his Primary Care Physician and make an appointment. But - we get it done and paid for.
This morning, I get up at 5:30 to make sure Jono is getting up. I get up again at about 6:15 to get everyone out the door, and - Justin isn't even there. "WHERE is Justin?" I ask. Everyone tells me that he went to Sean's house (lives down the street) to get his shirt. At 6:30 I go to check on them and see all of Justin's paperwork sitting there. I don't know if he needs to turn it in during homeroom or at practice tonight, but I figure he should bring it with him just in case. But - Justin is not in the house. I ask Kayla to take the paperwork to him at the bus stop.
All the kids leave.
It's now 3:30 and Justin calls to tell me that Kayla left all his paperwork in her locker.
WHHHHHHAAAAAATTTTTT?
I was furious. First of all, I ask Justin why he didn't get it at the bus stop. He never WENT to the bus stop! He decided to catch a ride to school with Sean. Did he get PERMISSION for that? No he did not. Also, Justin KNEW Kayla had it because I called Sean on his cell first thing this morning to let him know to get it from Kayla at the bus stop. Come to think of it, he should have for SURE told me THEN that he wasn't going to the bus stop. Grrrr.....
So, Justin is at home, practice starts at 4 tonight - and he has none of the paperwork that I spent time and money on this weekend. They better hope that the lockers are still open later this afternoon.
It's funny.... I was just thinking this weekend about - in a much smaller scale - how different things used to be. While at the beach, I went to buy laundry detergent. I used to buy the best (in my opinion), Tide with Bleach, because you could use less and it washed very well. I found myself at the store buying what I've purchased every week for the last 2 years, a big bottle of "Extra" that cost $2.99 or so. Then while at the beach, I noticed Michelle's nice toiletries... Paul Mitchell shampoo, a nice smelling mouse, razors. It made me think about what I use now.... Whatever kind of shampoo or conditioner I can get for 99 cents a bottle, no mouse or hair spray myself (it's gone long before I ever get to use it anyways), and disposable razors. The razors... Well... Heck - have you PRICED razors lately? What on earth happened that makes Gillette think that they can get away with charging $12 for a pack of 5 razors?? It's insane. So, yeah, if I'm wearing pants - who CARES if I don't shave? I'm saving money!
But I do find myself missing the 'pamper' part of life that I had before the kids moved in. Not a lot really... But I'd buy acrylic nails, a really good bottle of conditioner that's designed for my kind of hair, and of course razors whenever I wanted.
Yes, God certainly has made it clear to me that it's really NOT all about me; my wants, my needs. Not right now anyways. Give me 4 or 5 years, then we'll see what kind of stuff I can do for myself. Course, by then I'll have four kids in college..... EEK
Julie called today, by the way. She's back in the hospital. Some time I suppose I should try to go back through my blogs and see just how MANY times she's been in the hospital. I do try to blog about it for the most part, at least so you can keep her and the kids in your prayers.
This time she is depressed. They completely changed her medications last time she went in for what was supposed to be 'long term' care. Except that nobody told her the beds were uncomfortable, so she didn't want to stay. Ha ha ha ha. I still get a kick out of that. But truly, if she's going to go into long-term care, she needs to go into it with the right mindset to make the changes she needs to make.
She also has a roommate now. A young mother and her 7-year old daughter. I'm happy that she found someone, I just hope and pray that she will stick to her guns and make sure she's paid. Already the girl didn't have enough money to pay the first month's rent and has lost a job. But again, I hope and pray it'll all be okay.
I suppose the saddest part of talking to Julie today was that she was insistent upon me telling the kids that it wasn't really HER fault that she's going into the hospital. I mean... This is time number what? 200 in 2 years? Does it really matter?
Tonight Chris and I are going to our first Devil Rays game in years. I suppose the last time I saw a Rays game Chris sang the National Anthem. This time we were invited by a friend from Church. His wife got a box with free food, beer and wine. TWIST MY ARM! Ha ha ha ha!!
I've been debating on blogging about a new show that I just love. I think I'm going to do it....
It's called "Saving Grace". I'm hesitant to write about it because it's rated MA on TNT - and if you've not seen it, I warn you, it's racy. Some of the scenes are downright raunchy. So... Why do I love it?
The show is about a woman police detective, Grace. She smokes, drinks WAY too much, and has sex with pretty much anyone. She is terribly lost in this world. She's rough and tough and not about to change for anyone.
One night, driving drunk, she hits and kills a man in the street. She staggers to his body, and laying over him we see her, sincerely troubled for the first time in the show, crying, as she looks up to the sky and says "God help me".
With that, Earl appears. Earl is her 'last chance angel'. He's kinda ugly. Overweight. Teeth a bit rotten. Hand-me-down clothes. Grace of course thinks she's gone crazy and doubts him completely. Earl proves to her through various acts that he is an angel.
I could write about the different things that have happened in the show that I love. But what I love about the show is that it brings God to a very troubled person, and yet it is MILES away from the last 'God series' 7th Heaven. I believe there are more people out there that are more like Grace than there are like me; more people that are looking for something, are troubled, have not been saved.
I love it that the writers were able to make this show a hit without make it as 'fluffy' as 7th Heaven was. This show is edgy. There are many things that I disagree with in the show: mainly I think some of the sex is completely unnecessary. But I appreciate what they are trying to do in the series.
I love the fact that Grace has a cow that she believes has the 'face of Jesus' on the side of him. The message being to find God in the most unlikely of places. I love it that her best friend completely believes Grace has an angel named Earl - and that, as much as she would LIKE to meet Earl, she doesn't NEED to see him to believe he is real. She has faith. And she is really a good girl, a good Christian, who has been there for Grace through many things in her life.
Because of the edgy style of Saving Grace, I'm a Christian woman who is hoping that the writers of this show will keep the show tilted to the Christian side. If you see it and hate it, it's okay. I just have been wanting to share my views of this new show with you.
I'm going to leave you tonight with some lyrics to a song I just heard. Love it....
Never Alone - Barlow Girl
I waited for You today
But you didn't show
No no no
I needed You today
So where did You go?
You told me to call
Said You'd be there
And though I haven't seen You
Are You still there?
I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I'm never alone
And though I cannot see You
And I can't explain why
Such a deep, deep reassurance
You've placed in my life
We cannot separate
'Cause You're a part of me
And though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen
I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I'm never alone
We cannot separate, you're part of me
And though you're invisible
I trust the unseen
I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I'm never alone
Our friend Michelle came to our house to sit with the kids while we were away for the weekend. She brought them over to the beach Saturday afternoon and they stayed a couple of days with us. Now Michelle is staying with us for a couple days while she moves from Jacksonville to Tampa. It's funny how often I hear her chuckle to herself and then say something about how she's read all about it in the blog, but it's hard to imagine unless you are HERE actually witnessing it.
Last night Michelle ate dinner with us and - of course - there were not enough real 'cups' to go around. We've managed to go through the 36 or so that we bought several months ago, plus the 12 Julie bought a few months ago and the plastic 'extras' we pick up here and there. All nearly gone. So, when she was at Target last night, she picked up a dozen glasses for us. (Thanks Michelle) Someone want to time how long this takes before the kids have broken or lost them all?
Amanda and Gene are here today. They have a pre-marriage counseling session with Pastor Matthew. OMG... In 15 days my daughter will be married. I can hardly believe it.
Oh lordy... Hell is breaking loose at my house right now.
Justin went to a meeting at the school on Thursday for baseball tryouts. They gave him paperwork and told him that he needed to return it all, with a physical, and with paid insurance premiums, on Tuesday.
This was extremely inconvenient to us as this meant I had to get back early enough on Monday to bring him to the walk in clinic to get the physical. I also had to pay for the physical because it didn't allow me enough time to call his Primary Care Physician and make an appointment. But - we get it done and paid for.
This morning, I get up at 5:30 to make sure Jono is getting up. I get up again at about 6:15 to get everyone out the door, and - Justin isn't even there. "WHERE is Justin?" I ask. Everyone tells me that he went to Sean's house (lives down the street) to get his shirt. At 6:30 I go to check on them and see all of Justin's paperwork sitting there. I don't know if he needs to turn it in during homeroom or at practice tonight, but I figure he should bring it with him just in case. But - Justin is not in the house. I ask Kayla to take the paperwork to him at the bus stop.
All the kids leave.
It's now 3:30 and Justin calls to tell me that Kayla left all his paperwork in her locker.
WHHHHHHAAAAAATTTTTT?
I was furious. First of all, I ask Justin why he didn't get it at the bus stop. He never WENT to the bus stop! He decided to catch a ride to school with Sean. Did he get PERMISSION for that? No he did not. Also, Justin KNEW Kayla had it because I called Sean on his cell first thing this morning to let him know to get it from Kayla at the bus stop. Come to think of it, he should have for SURE told me THEN that he wasn't going to the bus stop. Grrrr.....
So, Justin is at home, practice starts at 4 tonight - and he has none of the paperwork that I spent time and money on this weekend. They better hope that the lockers are still open later this afternoon.
It's funny.... I was just thinking this weekend about - in a much smaller scale - how different things used to be. While at the beach, I went to buy laundry detergent. I used to buy the best (in my opinion), Tide with Bleach, because you could use less and it washed very well. I found myself at the store buying what I've purchased every week for the last 2 years, a big bottle of "Extra" that cost $2.99 or so. Then while at the beach, I noticed Michelle's nice toiletries... Paul Mitchell shampoo, a nice smelling mouse, razors. It made me think about what I use now.... Whatever kind of shampoo or conditioner I can get for 99 cents a bottle, no mouse or hair spray myself (it's gone long before I ever get to use it anyways), and disposable razors. The razors... Well... Heck - have you PRICED razors lately? What on earth happened that makes Gillette think that they can get away with charging $12 for a pack of 5 razors?? It's insane. So, yeah, if I'm wearing pants - who CARES if I don't shave? I'm saving money!
But I do find myself missing the 'pamper' part of life that I had before the kids moved in. Not a lot really... But I'd buy acrylic nails, a really good bottle of conditioner that's designed for my kind of hair, and of course razors whenever I wanted.
Yes, God certainly has made it clear to me that it's really NOT all about me; my wants, my needs. Not right now anyways. Give me 4 or 5 years, then we'll see what kind of stuff I can do for myself. Course, by then I'll have four kids in college..... EEK
Julie called today, by the way. She's back in the hospital. Some time I suppose I should try to go back through my blogs and see just how MANY times she's been in the hospital. I do try to blog about it for the most part, at least so you can keep her and the kids in your prayers.
This time she is depressed. They completely changed her medications last time she went in for what was supposed to be 'long term' care. Except that nobody told her the beds were uncomfortable, so she didn't want to stay. Ha ha ha ha. I still get a kick out of that. But truly, if she's going to go into long-term care, she needs to go into it with the right mindset to make the changes she needs to make.
She also has a roommate now. A young mother and her 7-year old daughter. I'm happy that she found someone, I just hope and pray that she will stick to her guns and make sure she's paid. Already the girl didn't have enough money to pay the first month's rent and has lost a job. But again, I hope and pray it'll all be okay.
I suppose the saddest part of talking to Julie today was that she was insistent upon me telling the kids that it wasn't really HER fault that she's going into the hospital. I mean... This is time number what? 200 in 2 years? Does it really matter?
Tonight Chris and I are going to our first Devil Rays game in years. I suppose the last time I saw a Rays game Chris sang the National Anthem. This time we were invited by a friend from Church. His wife got a box with free food, beer and wine. TWIST MY ARM! Ha ha ha ha!!
I've been debating on blogging about a new show that I just love. I think I'm going to do it....
It's called "Saving Grace". I'm hesitant to write about it because it's rated MA on TNT - and if you've not seen it, I warn you, it's racy. Some of the scenes are downright raunchy. So... Why do I love it?
The show is about a woman police detective, Grace. She smokes, drinks WAY too much, and has sex with pretty much anyone. She is terribly lost in this world. She's rough and tough and not about to change for anyone.
One night, driving drunk, she hits and kills a man in the street. She staggers to his body, and laying over him we see her, sincerely troubled for the first time in the show, crying, as she looks up to the sky and says "God help me".
With that, Earl appears. Earl is her 'last chance angel'. He's kinda ugly. Overweight. Teeth a bit rotten. Hand-me-down clothes. Grace of course thinks she's gone crazy and doubts him completely. Earl proves to her through various acts that he is an angel.
I could write about the different things that have happened in the show that I love. But what I love about the show is that it brings God to a very troubled person, and yet it is MILES away from the last 'God series' 7th Heaven. I believe there are more people out there that are more like Grace than there are like me; more people that are looking for something, are troubled, have not been saved.
I love it that the writers were able to make this show a hit without make it as 'fluffy' as 7th Heaven was. This show is edgy. There are many things that I disagree with in the show: mainly I think some of the sex is completely unnecessary. But I appreciate what they are trying to do in the series.
I love the fact that Grace has a cow that she believes has the 'face of Jesus' on the side of him. The message being to find God in the most unlikely of places. I love it that her best friend completely believes Grace has an angel named Earl - and that, as much as she would LIKE to meet Earl, she doesn't NEED to see him to believe he is real. She has faith. And she is really a good girl, a good Christian, who has been there for Grace through many things in her life.
Because of the edgy style of Saving Grace, I'm a Christian woman who is hoping that the writers of this show will keep the show tilted to the Christian side. If you see it and hate it, it's okay. I just have been wanting to share my views of this new show with you.
I'm going to leave you tonight with some lyrics to a song I just heard. Love it....
Never Alone - Barlow Girl
I waited for You today
But you didn't show
No no no
I needed You today
So where did You go?
You told me to call
Said You'd be there
And though I haven't seen You
Are You still there?
I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I'm never alone
And though I cannot see You
And I can't explain why
Such a deep, deep reassurance
You've placed in my life
We cannot separate
'Cause You're a part of me
And though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen
I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I'm never alone
We cannot separate, you're part of me
And though you're invisible
I trust the unseen
I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I'm never alone
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