Job Changes

*** WARNING - THIS BLOG IS PROBABLY GOING TO BE PITIFUL ***

You have been warned. I'm pretty darn sad. Down in the dumps. Scared. Nervous. Uncertain.

I love my job. Not 'what I do' really... I mean, we sell power plants for goodness sakes. I never thought in a million years I'd be doing that. But, I just LOVE the guys I work for. They are great Christian men, devoted fathers, and good husbands. It's a joy working for them. I believe God led me to this job for several reasons... it was a mile from my home at a time when I really needed it (just getting the kids). They were sympathetic and faith-filled bosses at a time when I really needed it.

And honestly, they needed me. When I got here, they office was a MESS. Papers everywhere. Checks that were partially entered. Partially???? Yeah, partially! Orders that were received days ago that were not yet entered. Quoted received a week ago or longer not yet done. Papers literally EVERYWHERE. Just... a mess. My skin would literally ITCH. I had to wipe down the keyboard and phone to work at the desk. Ew, ew, eww!

Now quotes are done within minutes. Phone are always answered on the first two rings. Orders are entered within 10 minutes. Checks are entered immediately and ALWAYS completely. I then check and double check to make sure that the computer matches exactly what the check deposit is. There is no filing to be done, it's done immediately. Everything is done immediately. Emails are answered quickly - and the customers LOVE it. I get kudos all the time.
I had my review on Wednesday. The good news is I had a stunning review. Everything I do is great. The only thing I could do more of is Marketing. The only thing holding me back from more marketing - honestly - is lack of product knowledge on many of the things we sell here and David's micro-managing of the tiny details. (We've been working on just getting new business cards for a year now, he doesn't like colors, layout, designs, etc.) But other than that -- what I DO -- what I was HIRED to do -- I do and go "above and beyond" all the time. I give 110%. I "excel" at everything. All the customers, all the principals, everyone tells him how great I am.

Even though we lost a principal (a company who hires us to sell their line) as of October 31st, he's going to give me a raise. Because I deserve it. Good news, right?

Not so fast.

He then tells me that he expects the loss of this principal will begin to financially impact the office about January. So on January 1st, they are going to cut my position to part time.

PART TIME????

I can't feed a family of 6 on part time!

He then tells me that he's going to move the office to Tarpon Springs. So I'd have to drive a good 40 minutes every day to get to work. But -- he tells me -- maybe I could find another part-time job to fill in the pay. Oh, and the hours he wants me to work??? 10-12 and 1-3. So.... I would then get a second part time job when?? At night??? Nooooo.... I think not. I'm not a part time kind of girl.

I want a job that pays me what I'm worth. Because I'm a freaking GREAT person who can whip an office into shape. I am VERY good at what I do. I know I am.

So.... I am now looking for another job. I have 3 months to find one. Not to worry, CNN says there are only 6.5 million other people out there looking for jobs as well. :o(

**My stomach flip-flops**

For those reading this who want to know exactly what I do... I can send you my resume if you post a reply and ask me to send it to you (leave me your email address). I have had 19 years of administrative coordinator/office manager positions and the last three years have been inside sales with office administration.

I would really like to stay in North Tampa as our cars are not all that reliable. Unless I land a whale of a job that pays me so well I can afford a car payment that is! But, it's also nice being close to the kids when they are sick or need rides home from school and that sort of thing. I don't want to do the 'job fair' thing... I'd rather find a job from someone who knows of a job opening.

**Big breath**

I'm really trying to not freak out about it. Trying to remember that God led me to this job and that THIS surely must be HIS plan. That, He has a better plan for me. Maybe a better paying job... heck, maybe one that offers benefits for the whole family. Right now I only have benefits for Jonathan and I and I pay almost $550 a month for it. Crazy, huh? My boss reimburses me for $225 of that, so it helps some ~ but it's still a lot to pay for insurance that doesn't cover all that much. Heck, with Jonathan's recent problems, I just found out that our "lifetime maximum" for mental health is $3,000. Three thousand? Hey Julie, could you IMAGINE that? That's not per year, that a LIFETIME maximum. Unreal. Gotta love insurance companies.

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Today I'm expecting the kids to come home and be really upset with me. I took both computers and hid them today. The kids rooms are horrible - the house has CRAP in every room that needs to be picked up or cleaned up - and I'm tired of the kids just coming home and doing what they want to do and not cleaning up after themselves. They blame it on one and take no responsibility for themselves. Fact of the matter, each of them has something lying someplace in the house. Katie's shoes, Justin's shirt, Jonathan's pants, Kayla's belt. Everyone's dishes and cups.

So I hid the computers and figured they could get back on them when they finally did some chores. Heck, Jonathan hasn't done laundry all week. I've been asking him to simply FOLD his clothes since Tuesday. It's now Friday and the basket finally made it's way up to his room. Still not put away.

One kid is responsible for doing towels. I refuse to do them because the kids use SO MANY towels weekly. I wash and use my own. We have roughly 35 towels. 4 kids will use all 35 towels in a week, easy. It used to make me crazy. I originally gave the job to Kayla as the oldest. There are TWO days a week in which to get all 35 towels washed. When she started working, I passed the job onto Justin. Now that he's at football practice and games 6 days a week, we had to pass the job to someone else - Jonathan being the third oldest, I gave the job to him. Guess what is not done? Yep. He tells me all he time he's just not going to do it. I remind him all the time. He just doesn't do it. I don't know what to do about it. Should I force him to do it? Force him to keep up his share -- Kayla and Justin did it. He's choosing to not do it. Sitting LITERALLY three feet away from the washer and dryer for HOURS playing a game, ignoring the fact that there should be towels washing on those days. Or... should I just let it go and -- when there are no towels left, each kid will wash their own towels. Forcing each kid to just wash their own.

Course, it could just be that I'm TERRIBLY grumpy right now.

Last night I got home after choir practice and just sat down and watched TV. I SHOULD have gone in immediately and told them everything that had not done. Checked bookbags, cleaned up dinner, laundry not done, dishes everywhere, cat litter not done in days, clothes on the floor, etc. But I didn't... I didn't want to deal with it. So I waited. Kayla was already in bed actually, Kayte was in her room. Justin got in from football and played a video game... Jono was on the computer. I chose to deal with it when they all centered around the stairs around 9:45 while getting ready for bed. Bad idea, and I know it.

Then again, I also know the kids hate it when I walk through the door and the first thing I do is complain about all the stuff they didn't do.

I'm just on edge. I suppose it would help if they would realize that I'm under terrible stress right now and pull their fair share of the housework. So I can at least come home and not think about how there is a mess everywhere I look. But I need to remind myself they are teenagers. In the "I-Me-My" generation.

Anyone want to give me advice here? Tell the kids to step up? Or should I chill out?

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Chris and I are going with some friends tonight to see the Fireproof Movie tonight. I'm excited about it. It looks like a really great movie, and it's been long overdue that a movie has been main-stream, Christian based, and focused on couples actually staying together through their marriage - tough times and all.

If you haven't seen it - go check out the preview: http://www.fireproofthemovie.com/

Doing The Right Thing

Chris received the COOLEST phone call earlier this week, I really wanted to tell you about.

If you remember - way back in 2006 I told a story about my husband - "my hero" who had gone 'above and beyond the call of duty' while on his way home from working at the Department of Corrections. Here is a snipit from that blog:

It was about 15 years ago, and this story is from memory, so I apologize to
Chris if I get any of the details wrong. Chris had just gotten out of
training to work for the Department of Corrections (DOC) and he was now employed
at a State Prison somewhere in South St. Petersburg. Because he was new, he had
to work the crappy shifts. He was getting off work – it was about 1 AM and he
was headed up the Interstate to get home.

He was traveling through the ‘rough’ section of town. South St. Pete at
that time was racially hot and tempers often flared between blacks and whites at
that time. Chris has always paid attention to his surroundings but did it even
more-so after his training with DOC. He noticed a car ahead of him, pretty
far away as he could just see the tail lights. Another car raced around Chris’s
at a high rate of speed, but slowed as it was passing the car way ahead of him.
Chris noticed a flash in the fast car… and thought that perhaps the guy had lit
a cigarette and the flash was from his lighter. Chris then noticed the other car
pull off onto the shoulder of the road.

A black male got out of the car and proceeded to try to flag Chris down.
Chris is in his DOC uniform, and he’s white – really white – in this section of town – at this time of night.
Should he stop?? What could the man possibly want?? Back then everyone didn’t
have cell phones, so he couldn’t have wanted that. Chris – for some reason –
decided to stop.

The man told Chris that the guy passing them in the other car SHOT into his
car for no reason, and the bullet pierced through the back seat and into the
side of his neice. Chris examined the girl and could not find an exit wound, but
she was badly bleeding. He checked for a pulse and she was still okay. Bleeding
badly, but okay.

Again, nobody back then had cell phones so calling for help was out of the
question. The roads were barren as it was so late at night and they were on a
highway so walking to get help was out of the question. The grandmother was in
the back seat hysterically screaming for help. Chris put her to work, asked her
to get a pillow case, put it over the gunshot wound, and then HUG her as tightly
as she could.

Chris grabbed the little girl and put her into his truck along with her
Uncle and grandmother. They rushed to the hospital, breaking every speed limit
and safe driving laws as they went.

The girl ended up being okay, thanks to Chris. Without question, he saved
her life. When Chris was at the hospital, he gave the police a full description
of the man, the car and anything else he could remember. Because he had just
gotten out of training he had the memory and details of a cop, so the police
were able to catch the guy. They actually found him in his car, under an
overpass on the interstate, RELOADING his gun to go hit more cars. So… who
really knows how many lives Chris could have saved that night!

He was later awarded a heroism award from the State of Florida for “Heroism
Above and Beyond The Call Of Duty”.

So, that was way back when. But something else happened a few years ago that I never blogged about.

It was July 8, 2005. My youngest sister, Katie, was married. Chris, the kids and I were all staying on St. Pete beach for the weekend, but we drove into Tampa for the wedding and the reception. When it was over, we drove back to our condo on the beach.

While driving back, the roads were wet... it was raining. We were in St. Pete and it was late... midnight or so. We were in the left lane approaching a traffic light that was red. In the right lane was a car already stopped. But coming up behind him was a man who had no intention of stopping.

SLAMMMMMMMM

This guy slammed right into the back end of the guy sitting at the light. WOW!! We witnessed the accident. I remember my first question to Chris "are we going to stick around for the police report?" He mentioned that it probably wouldn't be necessary. The guy in the stopped car was all the way in the middle of the intersection now, the other guy was CLEARLY at fault... no ifs-ands-or buts. And then the weirdest thing happened.... the guy in the truck that just hit the guy.... LEFT THE SCENE. He drove off through a convenience store parking lot that was on the corner (because there were so many cars now in the intersection trying to figure out what to do for the poor guy in the car).

I think it was Amanda that said "Dad, you aren't going to let him get away are you?" And with that.... we left the scene as well. We followed that guy EVERYWHERE.

I was on the phone with 911, describing the accident and the fact that the man had left the scene. It became EXTREMELY evident that the driver was SEVERELY intoxicated. He couldn't drive in a straight line... he was making odd turns, he'd go down streets and drive in people's grass, often times brushing up close to cars, mailboxes, etc. I'm sure the 911 tape was incredible. As we were on the phone with 911, Chris gave VERY detailed instructions on which way the guy was headed so that the police could find us. "He's turning North onto 22nd Avenue. He's headed East on 42nd Street." Heck, if it were me - I'd only be able to say he turned right or left -- thank goodness for Chris!

When the guy finally stopped, he pulled into a yard/driveway and smashed into a parked car. He got out of his truck and fell flat on his face. He was so drunk, he was incapable of walking at the time. It took him a little while to get up. We were on the phone with 911 and they advised us not to approach him. The guy finally got up, and went to the door of the home he crashed into, ringing their bell. The homeowners came out, but didn't know the guy and told him to leave. (Course, they might not have known that he crashed into their car on the way into their driveway!)

When he tried to get back into the truck and leave, we knew we had a problem. Chris said "I know you don't want us to get involved, but - he's trying to get in his truck and drive away." 911 told him to go and take his keys and keep him from driving, whatever it took, until the police showed up. (Oh yeah... all that time, and the police still had not shown up yet!)

Chris took the guys keys and wouldn't let him drive. Again, without question, this guy and his passenger were HIGHLY drunk. When the police showed up, the passenger took off running. But they did catch the driver.

Mind you, we were in wedding dress clothes which were a bit wet because it was raining. Pretty funny stuff.

Anyways... the police said there was "nothing they could do" about the guy who had gone running. Oh, and there were TONS of police cars, let me tell you. They had gone up and down the streets looking for the guy. We were frustrated with that answer. They were just going to give up the search? Heck, on COPS - the TV show - they would have called out the K-9 units or something. So Chris says, "I think you can look for him. He's not on the streets right?" Police officer: "Right, we've been up and down the streets looking for him." Chris: "So, he's obviously hiding in somebody's yard. Which is private property. Which makes it trespassing. Which, is against the law, right?" Police: "Uh, RIGHT!" And with that, they send more police officers out to look in the yards to try to find the guy. Don't know if they ever did find him or not.

So that ended our really weird night that night. We got back to our condo SUPER late, but we felt that we had certainly done 'the right thing'.

Then on Tuesday the phone rings at the house. A woman called for Chris, she said that her husband was the man behind the wheel who was hit from behind by the drunk driver. They were going to trial... and she had been reading the transcripts. She found his name, looked up his number and wanted to call and thank him personally for everything he did. She couldn't believe that we would take all that time and go after this guy, giving the police all that information as we went.

While they were on the phone, Chris was able to tell her all the cool details that she wasn't able to know from just reading transcripts. And it was really neat for Chris to get a call to say "thank you". I mean, you just don't get that all the time.

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The only other thing I wanted to tell you about was that we have moved the Rhocchini WOW WALL. It's no longer a physical wall in the house. It's now a virtual wow wall - on Myspace. I made a Myspace page called "WOW WALL" and once a week or so I post on there what A's the kids have brought home. If you are interested in becoming a friend of the 'wow wall' just go to my Myspace page and you'll see it's one of my top friends.

The kids are doing really well. In particular Justin - who has a VERY good chance of making straight A's this nine weeks. I just can't believe it. Chris and I are trying to figure out what on earth we are going to do for him if indeed he does make straight A's. I think what we'll do is fly him up to Maryland for Thanksgiving to spend almost a whole week with his Grandma Gwen and Grandpa Coley - all by himself. Gwen wanted me to send up all 3 kids, but this has to be a very special reward for ONLY Justin. I told Gwen I'd get the ticket and she could spoil him rotten while he was up there.

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I should run, I just wanted to post and tell you about the really cool call Chris received earlier this week.

Please keep us all in your prayers.

Singing Again

I have really great news. I told you all in the last blog that the VA finally approved that money for the kids. Well, that frees us some of our income to do things that I had put on the back burner in order to raise the kids. Now that I know we'll be getting that money every month, I'm going to try to take care of 'me'.

Last time I went back to the chorus to 'see' if I could do it... I wanted it so badly, but I knew that it just didn't feel right at the time. This time... it feels right. I immediately knew that I wanted to go back to Toast of Tampa and audition again.

It's hard to describe what the chorus does for me. It's not just singing that I love so much, although I do love the singing. It's also that I feel much more confident around these barbershoppers. I noticed it at Labor Day Jamboree when we went to Orlando. I was "just me" in the hotel room and hanging out with Chris and Jonathan, but as soon as we'd cross the bridge by the pool or walk towards the show, my head was higher, my self-confidence was WAY better, I felt.... confident.

So, Tuesday night I gave the kids my credit card, told them to order pizza and out the door I went to chorus rehearsal. I walked in and, although there were a lot of new faces, lots of people knew me. To the ones who didn't know me, some explained that I used to be president/team leader/section leader. It was very nice having that respect and love from so many people. (There are about 100 members in the chorus.) They voice placed me as a Tenor again, although I would have been fine singing lead - with the notes I was hitting easily they said they wanted and needed me as a Tenor. So, Tenor it is. In a few weeks I'll audition for the chorus. To audition I'll have to sing a song into a recorder, then sing a song with a quartet, then learn choreography and do it for a small team. This should all be very easy for me as I was always very good at this stuff before. I already know both songs I have to sing to, so all I really have to learn is the choreography. Oh, did I mention that choreography used to come super easy to me as well? I used to teach choreo to the chorus as well, because I had a knack for learning it quickly and remembering exactly how it was taught, when it was changed, why it was changed and remembering both the old choreo and the new choreo. Odd really. So.... I can't wait to audition and get that out of the way.

The other step I will tell you that I have taken here at the house that has made things at home MUCH better is the cleaning that comes twice a month. The kids still have their daily chores... still have floors, clothes, laundry, dishes and things they are to do every day. The MAJOR change is the bathrooms. Our tubs and showers are always clean, and the 'big stuff' that I should be doing but rarely get to because I'm so busy with everything else is now being done twice a month. I've heard it from friends... "the kids should be doing all that".... but it's different. Like... they mop the floors, but not SUPER great. I used to come in from work and complain about the floors EVERY DAY. Because they would do them, but -- not all that great. Plus there is the baseboards, and build-up, and all the stuff us moms look for. Pretty much every day I cam home yelling and complaining about half-done chores.

Now that the cleaning folks come twice a month, the house starts clean - and it's MUCH easier to keep up. And... I RARELY complain about the kids doing chores. Not because they are not doing them, but because the house just looks so much better all the time. It's been wonderful.

What is it they say? Happy Wife - Happy Life. That is sooooo true in this case, for sure.

I better run for tonight... I just wanted to make sure to tell you all about Toast of Tampa.

Singing is a form of admitting that I'm alive.
Alfredo Kraus

Headaches

Not much to post right now, because I'm not feeling all that well. In my 40 years of existence, I have been to the emergency room only a few times, and only had to go to the doctors for a pain shot once for a severe migraine headache. That changed on Friday. After a migraine that had been ongoing for more than a week, I had had enough. All day Friday I sat at work in horrendous pain. I put my head down for most of the day, took a LOT of pills trying to make it go away on it's own - everything from Tylenol, Ibuprofen 800mg, to Ultram - nothing touched it. A friend had given me some Fioricet the week before which worked for 2 hours at a time, but the headache kept coming back. Frustrated and in terrible pain, I called Chris at 4:30 on Friday and asked him to please meet me at my office to drive me to the doctors.

My doctors office, which is usually open till at least 5:30 for walk-ins, wasn't seeing patients anymore on Friday afternoon when we arrived due to a shortage of doctors. We decided to go to the walk in clinic instead of the emergency room. At the clinic they gave me a shot of pain medicine and something for nausea which knocked me out for the rest of the night. I have slept pretty much the rest of Friday and all day Saturday.

We were to sing at Church for service at 6pm. At 5:30 or so, Chris wakes me up and says - "You better get up if you want to get to church in time to sing!" I jumped up, threw on clothes, a tiny bit of make-up, and we rushed off to church, just in time.

Please say a prayer for me with these headaches. I know why I have them... I ran out of my Topamax (preventative) and I shouldn't have run out. I let it lapse for a week or two, and didn't get it filled. That's when the migraine started. I now have the meds, so I should be fine. If nothing else, I have learned that the preventive medicine DOES indeed work!

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I received word yesterday from the VA that the kids apportionment was APPROVED! We should be getting our first monthly check in October. This is just great news, and I'm looking forward to having some wiggle room in the budget. With everything coming up for the kids... yearbooks.... class rings.... proms.... etc.... it'll be nice not having to worry about where that money is going to come from.

I should mention here that I seriously don't think we would have had our application so quickly had it not been for Senator Bill Nelson. I wrote to him and told him that the VA told me that they were going to take their sweet time - that they actually told me that these things are low priority and take a very long time! He wrote them a letter on 7/11 and in less than a week, things at the VA started rolling. Coincidence? I don't think so! So - kudos to Senator Nelson!

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Oh, for anyone who didn't get the last really long update blog via email, you should go back and read it. For some reason, Feedblitz didn't pick it up and send it out via email.

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I should run. I'm still not feeling all that well and should get to bed (as if I haven't slept enough in the past 2 days... I know... but still...). Please say a prayer for all of us. We are still going thorough a lot as a family and could use lots of prayers. Thanks.

Long Overdue Update

I'm sorry I haven't blogged in so long. It is not that I haven't had anything to blog about... Far from that actually. I have had TOO MUCH to blog about. Too much that I think I really can't share about over the blog. I know what you are thinking "geeez Tina, don't you tell your WHOLE LIFE STORY here?" Well, no, I don't. There is far more to my story than just here. I don't blog about the really personal stuff that I don't want the whole world knowing about. But I do blog about stuff that is bothering me so much that I feel as if I am going to explode or that I think I need help or prayers for. And THAT is where I am now.

It started with Julie and the unsupervised visits. I was torn SO MUCH in my last blog because I really wanted to let her have some unsupervised visits. But that would be breaking the court order. Yet, Julie has been SO GOOD since February, the last time she was found nearly dead. Since then... She's been really great. Sure, I'm still worried about her 'reasoning skills' - but for taking them to the movies or to the mall or something, I think -- I truly BELIEVE with all my heart that she would be fine.

We had a little 'disagreement' about her firs unsupervised visit. She wanted to go somplace that I didn't think was appropriate. But she was okay with my telling her no, and she found someplace different to go. I wondered if we were going to have issues with every unsupervised visit. Would she always try to go someplace inappropriate? Would I always have to tell her no? (Because I really hate saying no so much, I fell like a hard-ass.)

So, my heart had been really torn as to what to do. I wanted her to spend time with the kids alone. But, I am not a rule-breaker. I am a stickler for rules. Yet I have a HUGE HEART for these kids. So... I prayed about it... And it came to me....

I have a friend who works in the court system. Her husband is a judge. An honest-to-goodness-robe-wearing judge. They also know Julie really well. Little Kayte will often times go on trips with them. I will ask THEM their opinion. Will they take the kids away if I do this? They know Julie -- do they think it's a good idea?

Before bible study last week, I went to meet with them. I sat down, explained the WHOLE thing. They believe that - if I give Julie very SHORT periods of time, very STRICT rules, and make sure if she breaks the rules I take away the visits, that I'll be fine. They gave me suggestions about writing out rules, etc. Sure I "could" get in trouble, but the interest of the court is really in the child - and if we are always looking out for the interest of the child, I should be fine. I was sitting in a room, asking a Judge his opinion, and HE gave his approval, and I feel MUCH BETTER.

I go to bible study, and afterwards I share some of this with the group. I tell them that I was at first really worried, but that I was late tonight because I had been to actually speak with a judge about it. He told me that he thought it too was the right thing to do, given all the circumstances. I told them how I felt so much better about the whole thing, but still asked for prayer over the whole thing. One girl in the group piped up "I'm not praying for that!!" I tell you, it was hard to feel Christian right about then... That or laugh... I wasn't sure what to do.

Anyways....

Then, we've been struggling with Jonathan as of late. He has really not been doing very well. His head is stuck in his computer game, and if you just try to take it away or turn it off, he LITERALLY goes berserk.

Over the summer he began talking to a girl over this computer game. Then they exchanged cell phone numbers. This girl lives in either Chicago or Arizona (Jonathan says Chicago, her area code tells me Arizona). Wherever she lives, she's NOT local. Now they talk and text ALL THE TIME. We find him in his room talking to her at midnight, two in the morning, etc. He now has over a thousand text messages a month, mostly because of this girl. She says she loves him. He is quite obviously nuts about her. You see stuff on TV all the time about 'what not to do' with your kids and computers and phones -- this is a BIG NO-NO. Of course, just talking to Jonathan about it sets him off into another fit of depression or anger. We are trying to set rules and boundaries with him. But he is just in SUCH a horrible mood as of late, it’s difficult to talk to him.

Grades came in yesterday on Edline and Kayla, Justin and Kayte all seem to be doing okay - Jonathan, no so good. He was failing two classes and had a C in another class. When I mentioned to him that he needed to watch the zeros...they would lead to bad grades which would mean he would have the video game taken away... He then said: "Well then why the hell do I even play it? Zeros are impossible not to get. Screw this." -- In a text message. This is how he talks to me ALL THE TIME NOW.

It's impossible to talk to him right now too... Like... He was squinting the other day and Chris mentioned to him that he should really wear the contacts we bought for him (We went to Sams, had an eye exam, he needed glasses and he opted to get contacts instead.) Jonathan ARGUED that the VISION DOCTOR was flat-out WRONG, that we were WRONG, that everyone was WRONG, that - indeed - he had NO VISION PROBLEM what-so-ever. It's just that his vision is just a bit, unfocused. It's not blurry. It's not that he needs glasses or contacts. No, not at all. Nope - he doesn't have a vision problem. And you simply could NOT argue with him.

Some would say that I have the patience of a Saint I'm telling you - my patience with Jonathan is wearing thin on this whole thing. There is so much more to the story that I just can't go into here. Not because it's personal really but because there is just SO MUCH.

Then there is Kayla. Let's just say that she is - I think - really struggling to fit in with people. She seeks acceptance and love like a sponge and just keeps looking for it. She's just hanging out with a totally new group of people -- COMPLETELY different than what she had last year at this time. Last year her myspace page looked like a page from "Thugs-R-Us". Now... It is just... I don't know'. There are NO guys on her page and only a small handful as her friends. It's just -- a complete difference.

She'll be 18 in four months... And we are really trying to be there for her, love her, while still telling her firmly what we believe. It's tough. I maybe should try to feel thankful that she is not hanging out with thugs and gang members and doing drugs. I'm just not there yet.

Jonathan, Chris and I all went on a mini-vacation to "Labor Day Jamboree" which is a big Barbershop Event held in Orlando. Roughly 1,000 barbershoppers from around the country come to Florida to relax around the pool during the day, see a show in the evening, and sing tags around the pool all night and into the wee hours of the morning.

Chris and Jonathan's Father-Son quartet , Genetix, was asked to sing on this show. It was a big show... And his quartet being asked to sing on a show with the TOP THREE quartets in the WORLD (along with others) was an honor beyond words.

Let me tell you, the guys did GREAT. Jonathan and Paul (the other son - 14 years old) were given speaking parts. They were just NATURALS up there. And the quartet sounded SO GOOD, absolutely the BEST I have ever heard them sound.

Course the weekend had it's own frustrations... We didn't bring Jonathan's laptop on Friday because we wanted him to enjoy his time there. But he MOPED around all day and night, so we had Michelle bring it up Saturday for him. It rained all day Saturday, which meant we were stuck in the room pretty much all day. Jonathan of course played his game all day and night - whenever he possibly could. And usually there are more barbershoppers out by the pool singing tags. This year, that just didn't happen. I don't know if it was because of the hurricane, the weather, or what -- but we just didn't have as much fun as we have had in the past at the event.

It was good to get away though. It was also Chris and my 22nd wedding anniversary. Although I think I want to do something ELSE with him at some point - spending time with him and our 15-year old son who is just in a FUNK is just NOT ROMANTIC.

Speaking of marriage - Chris and I went on Friday and had our rings sized. My ring is actually okay now. I think it might be that I used to be 40 - 50 lbs heavier than I am now... Although I'm still not what I was when I was 18, the ring is fine. She told me if I went any bigger the ring might come off because I have no knuckles... Just really straight fingers. Chris's ring is being sized to fit him (ready to be picked up today). The two of us not wearing wedding bands has always bothered me greatly. Chris says "what does it matter what people think?" It's not really what people think... It's a symbol of our love, our commitment. It does show the world that we are together... But it binds us. I don’t know how to explain it... It just always bothered me – but now it's getting fixed.

Chris is on his way to take Jonathan to see Dr. Coniglio right now. He's the one who first diagnosed his Aspergers. We think he might need a medication change or something else... I don't know... But he needs something. Jonathan was SO SURE last night that nothing could make him feel better. I told him... What IF you could go to the doctor and they give you something, be it a pill or a diet or just something to do, but SOMETHING that makes you 1) have A's and B's in school 2) focus clearly all the time 3) would make you feel happy and 4) you wouldn't be afraid to make friends. He said such a thing would be totally impossible. (Again, his logic.) I told him that it WAS possible and he needed to give someone a try.

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It’s now a day later… Jonathan went to the doctors yesterday. He said he needed to exercise for 30 minutes every day. He didn’t want to change his medication or anything, just exercise. He’ll follow up with him in two weeks. We’ll see how he’s doing at that time.

I’m really not thrilled about the exercise only option… it’s difficult getting him to do ANYTHING right now, and to add to that I’m supposed to get him up to exercise now? Just more stuff to fight about, it would seem to me. But, I’ll give it a good-hearted try for two weeks.

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I should tell you what I did with all the kids cell phones today. I checked their usage online today and noticed they were all texting last night after hours.

Kayte had one text after 10, which was to her boyfriend at 11:33pm
Kayla had 39, from lots of people, her latest at 11:56pm
Jonathan had 45, all to/from one person, the latest at 12:23am
Justin had 75, from lots of people, his latest at 2:03am.

Two in the morning and someone is texting him? Three of Kayla’s texts were from her mom. So… I picked up my phone and I called some of these people. Mainly just the ones who called a TON of times – two girls for Justin, two girls for Kayla, and the one girl that Jonathan was talking to. I left messages for all of them telling them that phone calls or text messages after 10 were not allowed in our home, and that I would appreciate it if they would help by not sending text messages or calling after that time. The one little girl who was calling at 2 in the morning, I did say something extra to her… I asked her WHY she was up so late. I told her that SHE needed to be in BED because she had school.

Tonight I will take all cell phones at 10pm and charge them in my room. I will hold them all until their friends can manage themselves and the text messages stop. Kayla – of course – told me she thought I shouldn’t do that because she could just turn off her phone. Well… why didn’t she? Coulda, woulda, shoulda – but she didn’t. This isn’t a new problem. It’s something I’ve tolerated and I just AIN’T gonna tolerate it no more!

Justin too tried to talk his way into keeping his phone. His argument was that he had football practice until about 8 every night (not really, more like 7 or 7:30, but that’s what he said to make an argument) and so that only gave him from 8 till 10 to play games, talk on his phone and text. I told him that he could always quit football if it was interfering with his personal life too much for him. He said no… but he thought he should be allowed to use his cell in school. I told him – too bad – it’s against the rules. He said that rules are meant to be broken.

OIE

How did I get to be in a house with FOUR TEENAGERS??? And the ATTITUDE???

Their school has become very strict on cell phone use this year. If they SEE your cell phone, they will take it. If they take it, they will keep it for THREE days. At the end of school on the third day, you can go and pick it up.

I expected the kids would hate the new school policy. Or rather, their ENFORCEMENT of the policy that they have ALWAYS had. But – I didn’t expect that PARENTS would be calling and and going into the schools complaining. “I paid for my kids cell phone they should be able to use it.” Are you kidding me? These are adults? From what I have seen, it’s no wonder our kids are graduating and some can barely read. They sit in class and text or talk on phones all the time. And parents think them keeping them on for this purpose is a good idea? Just SAD.

I told the kids that if I caught them using their cells for inappropriate reasons at school (texting their friends for fun when they should be working) I would be totally willing to go into the school and sign something to give permission for the school to hold the cell phone till the end of the year. It serves them right.

Today Justin left his cell phone at home on accident. So, I took the cell to work with me to see who would call. First, one guy called him when he should have been in school. Then he’d get text messages throughout the day. I’d send text messages back “This is Justin’s Aunt. You shouldn’t be texting in school”. One girl actually texted him and asked to cheat off his paper via text message. Stupid.

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I heard great news from Julie. She got a new job working at a travel agency. She has regular hours, better pay, and if she sells great, she can make commission over her regular pay. This is really great for her, and I’m THRILLED for her.

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I’m exhausted… I’ve put a lot into this blog I know. I just feel completely overwhelmed at times. Things here are really difficult right now with the kids back at school and Jonathan being so… temperamental. I’m pouring a TREMENDOUS amount of energy, love and support into Jonathan. Chris and I both are. We could use tons of prayers for the household here. I know the other kids hate it when things aren’t ‘right’ here. So please, pray for us.