Gargantuan Update

Let me start off by talking about my last blog. I didn't intend to get anyone upset... the reason I love living in the USA is because we are ALL allowed to have our own views and opinions and still be friends. With regard to the reader who commented about my quote, citing that I didn't know enough about Rush and his views on women before quoting him... I'm just going to say this: I don't know much of anything about anyone whom I quote. I use the quote because I feel that it pertains to what I am saying or thinking at the moment. Just that simple. He talked about housing... I was (and am still) extremely frustrated about my housing concerns - so I used the quote. Nuff said about that!

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Things at home are going pretty well. Justin and Kayla both got their schedules for their Senior year, and both of them - although completely different - suit what they want to do their senior year.

Justin has mostly honors and AP classes. Kayla has pottery and other fun classes, two 'core classes' that she needs to graduate, and her last two periods of the day are OJT (credit for leaving school and going to work). Both kids are extremely happy.

Justin and Kayte are doing VERY well in school right now. Both are getting mostly A's and B's. Kayla needs to be reminded often to keep her grades up. Jonathan's report card was horrid, and he currently has a D and several C's.

The kids are THRILLED, however, because a friend of ours bought the kids a new computer. The last computer they had completely died earlier this week. It already had a ton of viruses and trojans on it... and Chris and I had decided to just leave it because we couldn't get them all off. But this time the hard drive actually failed.

The new computer they have now has a TON of parental controls. We LOVE it... if they can't get on the internet, we can just block that. Certain websites can be blocked. They can't install ANY programs without our approval. Hopefully these limitations will help them NOT infect this new computer.

Jonathan has been told that if he can keep his grades up, he will be allowed to, once again, play World of Warcraft -- with the understanding that he is NOT allowed to go overboard. We'll see how that works. I'm HOPING that it will motivate him.

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Kayla has been having a bit of a rough time. Julie told me the other day that Kayla got mad at her because Julie wouldn't take her out to dinner. This just SOUNDED odd. Julie called me upset because Kayla was "mad at her", and Julie didn't want her to be mad. Julie only had $20 to last the rest of the month (which, I might add, she got from us) and so Julie couldn't take her out to eat. I thought it was odd that Kayla would be upset with her over this, but Julie didn't want me to talk to Kayla about this.

I left it alone for a couple days, but at one point (when the time seemed right) I asked her why she got upset with her mom. She said that she was upset because when Julie talked to her, she was slurring. I told her that her mom thought it was about dinner, which Kayla said was completely wrong because she can eat anytime at McDonalds for free. We talked about it some more, and I realized that Kayla was very upset with Julie for some reason. According to Kayla, "she was never like this when daddy was alive". I told her that was not true. She wasn't like she was the first year after Ron died... but the way she is right now - doing pretty well, holding a job between hospital visits that are many months apart, although still taking a lot of meds - is exactly like she was when Ron was alive. I reminded her of when Julie shipped them up to Grandma's in Maryland to escape DCF possibly taking them away when they were young. Then how many times we would call up to Maryland and they would all lie about where Julie was - saying she was at the store or something when she was, in fact, in the hospital. Kayla remembers none of it. I remember Julie smoking weed at that time - throughout their young years as a matter of fact. I remember that Julie could never be 100% faithful to Ron when he was away so much. But Kayla doesn't remember any of that... and so she's angry with Julie.

I found a note in which she wrote "Dear Daddy" followed by how upset she was that he died and that her mom 'went crazy' afterwards. Overdosing and sleeping with multiple men. I didn't talk to her about the letter... nor did I read the whole thing completely enough to tell you any more than just that. I think it's good that she's putting her feelings into words. That's what I do here!

Then on Wednesday night, I had dinner almost done. Turkey, stuffing, corn... yummy. Literally 5 minutes before it was ready, Julie called. She asked if she could take Kayla to dinner. I told her I'd have to call her back (which I now remember I never did - oops). I called Kayla down and asked her if she wanted to go to dinner with her mom, or did she want to eat here - it was going to be ready in 5 minutes. She said she wanted to eat here... and so I asked why she told her mom to call me. Kayla said that she didn't tell her to call me - that her mom asked her if she wanted to go to eat, and that Kayla said "sure". According to Julie's story - Kayla said she wanted to go, but that I would never let her go out. (Funny... I so rarely tell her 'no'.) When Julie called I found the whole thing odd because of 1) the understanding that Julie didn't have any money before and 2) I knew Kayla was upset with Julie and I wondered if Kayla just can't talk to her about it.

I told Kayla - if you want to go with your mom, go with her. If you want to eat here, eat here. But just tell your mom one way or the other. She ended up eating with us.

I'm unsure of this whole thing.... I THINK what is happening is that Julie is sensing something is wrong with Kayla, and Julie is trying to do anything she can to make Kayla feel better. I'm not sure what's going on with Kayla on this... she's been VERY self-absorbed lately. But I fear that Julie is going to overdo it trying to make things better. I told Julie... if she's going to get mad at you because you can't take her out to dinner - LET her get mad at you! It's more important that you not overspend on something as silly as dinner when we have so much food at home - the girl is NOT going hungry... let me tell ya!

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Kayla hasn't put money in the bank in 4 weeks. She has actually taken out $250 and then cashed her next paycheck and spent it all. Since she turned 18, she's been quite the party animal... going to Ybor with the girls. She has a TON of new clothes. I looked in her room the other day and there were at LEAST 10 shirts with new tags on them, most cost over $20 each. I didn't even look at the pants that went with them. Some of the shirts were cheap little $6 shirts... but lots were more expensive. Then, of course, there are the new shoes. Just -- trust me when I tell ya that Kayla has spent her money shopping, for sure.

We keep trying to remind her - if she wants a car, she HAS to save. She had over $1,000 when Gwen was here... she has a little over $800 now, 3 weeks later. But -- we are NOT harping on her... I just told her that I wanted to see her meet her OWN goals, and she couldn't do that spending a lot of money.

Ooooooooo.... a big thing here! --- When I went into her room and saw all the new clothes... I thought I would GENTLY talk to her about it. Not chastise her for spending a ton of money, because it IS her money -- but rather -- just tell her that I know she wants a car... and all the pretty clothes in the world are not going to buy her that car. USUALLY what would happen (because we HAVE had this conversation before) is that Kayla would tell me that she didn't buy all the clothes or shoes or whatever. I've told you before that she has probably $1,000 worth of shoes in her closet -- she has told me before that she gets $100 pairs or shoes for $10 which I KNOW can't be right. ** However ** This time, she told me "I know Auntie Tina. I should stop shopping." It wasn't until later when I was just sitting down thinking about it that I realized that she didn't lie to me or hide the fact that she had made these purchases. Last night, I told her about this and let her know that I was proud of her. :o)

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Another problem we had with - and I hate to say her again, but here goes: Kayla - is her going to her bank.

Kayla has always been very flirtatious. When she was younger (16 and 17) I got very upset when she was Myspace friends and talking in the evening (after 10) with her banker. A young, attractive, yet older banker. I told my sister Katie how upset I was (it was another SunTrust bank, and since Katie manages a branch, I talked to her about it).

Now she is 18. Her first check after turning 18... she goes into the bank and passes out her phone number, telling him that she's 18 now and so he could call her.

Katie calls me and tells me that Kayla not only did that, but also her boyfriend usually goes with her and he has severely intimidated the other tellers. Intimidated to the point where he is no longer welcome in their bank. Additionally, this other manager tells Katie, it's inappropriate for her to come into a bank - regardless of her 'legal' age - and use it as a place for her to flirt with people and pick up men. A bank is a professional location, and they deserved better than that. If Kayla couldn't "control herself" they were going to be forced to close her account.

WOW

So... Chris and I talked to Kayla. She said she would do better, but -- she didn't believe that she had done anything wrong. She said her boyfriend was only there once, and that she didn't just give him her phone number... that HE asked her for it. Regretfully, if she doesn't see anything she did as wrong, it'll be hard to change her behavior. I'm just going to let it go and if they close her account, she has to move her money and hopefully then learn a lesson. We'll see.

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Speaking of learning lessons... Justin lost more money. This time, our friend Michelle gave him $50 cash for making honor roll. Justin brings it to the bowling alley where he took it out of his pocket to pay, but a friend told him not to pay, that he would get it. Justin THOUGHT he put it in his pants... but missed - apparently. $50 gone - that fast.

Sigh........... Justin!!!! :o)

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Chris is going away for the weekend. He is driving the bus full of high school kids to a retreat center. Usually our kids don't go on retreats ($100+ per kid = expensive!) - but this time... since Chris is going anyways.... we thought we'd try to sign at least Jonathan up. I almost had him completely signed up, THEN told him about it, and he freaked out!

Valentine's day is Saturday and he wanted to spend it with his girlfriend. Justin wanted to be with his girlfriend as well. Kayte works at Church and I assumed Kayla would never want to go... so -- none of our kids are going with him.

Yeah........... he'll be gone for Valentine's day. But... I think Valentines day is overrated. First of all... most of our marriage we were singing on Valentines day - he in a quartet with guys singing for girls... and me in a quartet with women singing for guys. All day... out making OTHER couples happy. Sometimes we'd meet up... I'd sing for him ~ then he'd sing for me.... it was cute. But we never got into Valentines day ourselves. For us... every day is Valentine's day: you shouldn't wait for that one day a year to show the person you love how much they mean to you.

We've had some good memories doing that. My most memorable was with my mom. We were driving around South Tampa and came to a neighborhood with TONS of cars, vans, catering trucks, TV crews, etc. Mom said "Hmmm... I wonder what all this is about? Let's go see." So - she parked her van and went to see what all the excitement was about.

There we were... four women dressed alike (in red and white) on Valentines Day. We came across a VERY nice yard with cameras and stuff on it. Mom asked someone what was going on and the guy told us that they were shooting a commercial with Joe Namath! Well, mom - being bold - asked if we could sing for him. They said "YES"!

We went on the set, and there he was... the most beautiful blue eyes I've seen (2nd only to my husband of course) and extremely tan. They had these BIG cameras on us... and microphones on these really long poles. Joe smiled the WHOLE time, then thanked us for coming. We had a picture taken with him, and off we went.

I'm sure Chris has his own memorable experiences. I remember him once telling me about the woman who opened the door to her house in a see-through nightie - then invited them IN to sing for her... and she didn't get changed. He said it was a wee bit hard to focus.... I can only imagine. :o)

Anyways, I'm booked tomorrow to do Singing Valentines with a quartet, if we get any orders. We are the last quartet signed up... so we'll see if they get lots of orders. I figured - Chris is out of town... I might as well go out and make some other people happy this Valentine's Day, right?

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Two weeks from now, Jonathan will be on a class trip to New York! Holy moly! How exciting for him!! His school chorus is going, and I'm so happy he is able to go with them. If he's anything like me... he is going to LOVE New York. I went to visit and didn't want to come home.

We just need to come up with a little more cash for his trip and go out and buy him some real winter clothes. I'm going to try Plato's closet first, and if they don't have anything - go to JC Pennys. Hopefully they'll have what he needs. One of the forecasts I saw had now flurries that week. Woooooooooooooooooow!!!!!

We are so blessed that he was able to do this. Some family members chipped in money for his trip... heck, even my boss threw in a little money! I'm sure it's something that he'll remember for a very long time.

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Well, I really should run. I have ANOTHER headache which I need to get rid of quickly. I've been sick for 2 weeks now with a cold and sinus headaches. I'm going to a Robinson High School Happy Hour down in South Tampa tonight. Apparently, tons of friends who went to RHS and are on Facebook have put together a monthly happy hour where anyone who went to RHS is welcome to come. This will be my first one attending (without Chris! BOO HISS!) and I'm really excited to see some old friends.

Sorry for the long time between blogs. I'll really try to be better!

The thought manifests as the word.
The word manifests as the deed.
The deed develops as habit.
And the habit hardens into character.
So watch the thought and its ways with care.
And let it spring from love,
Born out of concern for all beings.

Buddah