I will do my best to not make this a marathon blog, but I haven't blogged in a while and there is so much to blog about... So here goes....
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Justin.... Oie, Justin. He just got his learner's permit for driving. He is in drivers ed, but hasn't had much time behind the wheel. Grandma took him out around the block Sunday, which was the extent of his abilities. He didn't know how to get the car out of park... THAT is how new he is. He must have asked me 30 times if I could take him out to drive. Every time I said no... I don't want him 'practicing' just yet... I want to TEACH him, which will involve a parking lot and a lot of distance between our car and something he could potentially hit.
So... Monday I come home from work and I go to the dining room table where the kids usually put there homework. Justin has some homework papers on the table, and also on TOP of the homework is a note. A 4-page note, passed in a class between him and his friend Matt.
In this note, Justin talks about how he called Matt at 6:30 this morning (WAY too early to use a phone and call someone's house!). He was calling Matt this morning to ask if he could ride with him to school instead of taking the bus. He knows he's not supposed to be going to school in any other way other than by bus, ESPECIALLY without clearing it through us. So... the letter goes on to describe how Justin, Kayte and Jonathan all got a ride to school Monday morning from Matt. Kayla didn't want to go because she "didn't want to get into trouble". GO KAYLA!
So, there were two mistakes here - one in that they called so early. Second being that they got a ride to school by Matt without asking us for permission. To add insult to injury, Justin also rode HOME with him. Rule-breaker #3. Sheesh.
Then his note goes on to make fun of Jonathan and Kayte because they were AFRAID while JUSTIN was DRIVING.
Okay, hold it for a second. I had to go back and read it again. Justin was DRIVING? Of COURSE they were scared.
Justin knows the law: He's allowed to drive only with a TWENTY ONE year old person in the seat NEXT to him and only during daylight hours. He didn't meet either one of those requirements. He broke the law.
Chris and I were furious. And, Justin has the gall to make fun of Jono and Kayte for being afraid? Then this boy, Matt, goes on to tell Justin that he needs to learn to drive FASTER and to PASS PEOPLE. Justin said he'd work on it.
Faster? Pass people? He's been in the drivers seat less than 15 minutes. He doesn't know how to get the car out of PARK. Passing? Speed? WHAT????
Chris and I took away his license and we called his drivers ed teacher. He's not driving at school either. Here in Tampa we have had a string of young kids in car accidents killing people. 15 year old kids that think nothing is ever going to happen to them, driving against the rules, crashing, and killing friends or innocent people walking down the street. It's all over the news here.
Justin not only put HIS life in danger, he put the lives of countless kids that were waiting at bus stops along the road that he passed, and he put the lives of my son and his sister in danger.
Gosh, I'm getting all fired up just thinking about it again!!
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So, Kayla in that one instance did the right thing, but she's not making a habit out of it. Not yet Anyways.
Two weeks ago she was going to the movies with her boyfriend. Oddly, Chris that same night had watched some of the same movie they went to see free online through some movie site.
The next day, we are on our way to church. It went something like this:
Tina: What movie did you see, Kayla?
Kayla: We went to see Mr. Woodcock.
Tina: Well, how weird is that? Uncle Chris watched that online last night. What was the movie about, Kayla?
Kayla: Um... I don't know.
Tina: What do you mean, you don't know?
Kayla: Ummm... I fell asleep.
Tina: What about the very beginning of the movie? What was that about?
Kayla: I fell asleep when I first go there and woke up after the end of the movie.
Tina: Uh... Yeah..... Right. Chris (Kayla's boyfriend) - what was the movie about?
Chris: Um... I don't know.
Tina: What do you mean you don't know?
Chris: I..... I.... I forgot.
Now... Do I have "IDIOT" stamped on my forehead somewhere? Come on!!
Of course we got them to admit they didn't go to the movies. They did... well... they did something else. I didn't push to find out what. We were just furious that BOTH of them lied.
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Mornings are SO MUCH BETTER around the Rhocchini house. Thanks to all who have commented or talked to me about what you think I should do. It really helped. It helped so much in fact that I've decided to take my lunches back into my own hands.
Typically when I come home for lunch, I arrive about 12:10 and have roughly 40 minutes to make and eat lunch and relax before going back to work. However, the first 10 minutes is spent cleaning up the kids' breakfast. Typically I find all kind of cups in the kitchen, bowls, cereal and sugar out. I'm one of those people who needs to clean first before I cook or eat. So, I clean up their mess, start the dishwasher or hand-wash if the dishwasher is full of clean dishes. THEN I worry about my lunch.
I decided the other day that... if I didn't have any breakfast items at home, they couldn't eat at home. The school serves free breakfast - but they enjoy eating at home more. Too bad. Because I told them that if they can't pick up after themselves, I was simply not going to buy any more cereal, pop tarts, or oatmeal. Nothing.
Jonathan says... "Well, if I clean up after myself and nobody else does, that's not fair. Then I'd have to pick up everyone else's stuff, and it's not fair because I didn't make the mess!" I said "welcome to my world, Jonathan."
They must not be too concerned though because even today at lunch I had to clean up after them. Maybe they think I'm not serious? I dunno... I don't care. They are not going starve, so I'm sticking to my guns on this one. **grin**
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Julie called last night. She's been in the hospital for a week or so now. She told me she wanted to tell me what 'really happened' as long as I didn't blog about it. I told her I could NOT promise that.
She went on anyways to tell me that she was in the hospital this time for overdosing trying to kill herself. I didn't sound surprised, I figured she had done so... she's been slurring so badly recently. We all knew she was overdosing.
She went on to explain, however, that this time was very different. This time she went to the pharmacy and got ALL of her refills on anything she could get her hands on. Then she went home and took all her meds. Not wimpy medicines, but rather, heavy-duty psychotropic medicines.
She went on to tell me roughly how much of each prescription she actually took. We are talking in the neighborhood of 400-500 pills folks. Holy COW.
You remember me blogging before about just the Klonopin overdose? She took I think 27 Klonopin and it was in her system for days afterwards. This time she took about 150 Klonopin, in addition to all her other psychiatric medications, Soma, Sleeping pills. Again, the total quantity I estimate to be between 400 and 500 pills. Can you even fathom that?
When she first arrived at the ER, she promised them she hadn't taken any pills since the night before. She lied. She did this on purpose so that they wouldn't use the charcoal to pump her stomach again. She said that she was so "out of it" at the ER that she had to be helped to the bathroom, and once there, had to be helped again to... finish up (if you catch my drift). She was shocked that the doctors believed her, and she truly thought she was going to die.
Now that the extent of what she had done is known, even the doctors agree that the medications she took should have "Killed an elephant". Julie's EKG upon arrival at the ER was out of whack, but now... Now everything seems to be just fine. No long-term damage. No ill-effects from the massive quantities of medication.
It is because of this that Julie now fully believes that she DID die. That she died, went to God who refused to take her, and that He sent her to live in "Hell on earth". That -- this is some sort of punishment for her.
It's really sad talking to her about it. She is so.... Clear - no medications messing her up. And she sounds good on the phone. She is speaking so well in fact that the past few days I've allowed her to talk to the kids without my supervision. And yet... Then she talks about how she died, God didn't want her, and she's forced to live in "Hell". It's truly sad.
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All of this with Julie makes me think of two things....
One being that maybe Julie really does need to live in a home. An assisted living home. She could maybe work outside and yet come home every evening. A nurse there could pass out her medications when she needs them. They talked to us about this when Julie was on the respirator... That maybe she simply wasn't capable of making it on her own without hurting herself. She could eat the meals they prepare for her so that her Diabetes doesn't get out of whack, and they could make sure she doesn't overdose on pills every day.
It may sound horribly drastic.... But if you could HEAR her NOW... While she is in the hospital. Sigh. She sounds great. Clear-headed. Non-medicated. I haven't even supervised her last few phone calls. Maybe her living in a home is the only way for her to live a long, full life.
Then I wonder if it's time to try removing parental rights from her. When I think of that, I want to vomit.
But... I keep thinking one of two things will happen: either she'll view it as a wake-up call and start acting better and stop abusing everything and start taking care of herself for the sake of her kids --- or --- I will look back in 10 years and know for sure that it was the right thing to do for the kids.
These kids have become hardened as a result of all of this. Used to be when Julie went into the hospital we'd hold a family meeting... We'd all gather in the living room and sit and talk about it. Openly discuss our feelings, what happened with their mom this time, how her thinking is just not 'right', and that through it all she loved them. Yet now... When she goes in... It's more like the kids say "Let me guess, she tried to kill herself again? Yeah, okay. Whatever. Can I go out and play now?"
It's sad.
I watch enough Dr. Phil to know that what she is doing, even from her home in Riverview with them living in Carrollwood, is damaging them. Every stupid comment. Every one of Julie's attempts to cry out for help. Every pill she pops. Every one is hurting them.
And I don't want to see them hurt.
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