Cell Phone - Thugs - Alarms -- Oh My

I wanted to let you all know that we could still use more prayer. More prayer for strength and guidance that Chris and I do the 'right things' that God would have us do on a day to day basis.

Things here are continually crazy. The kids are acting like... well... teenagers. I know, I know -- they ARE teenagers. Well, there are FOUR of them, and they each come with ~ shall I say ~ unique problems. And it's just a bit overwhelming at times.

The funny thing is that lately I've felt sorry for my mom and my sister Katie whom I've been leaning on for support and advice (because I've not been blogging about it). They know how stressed I've been about the whole thing and I know they just wish there was something they could do or say to make it better. It's just not that simple.

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I told you last time about Kayla's big lie problem. It's been a constant problem for her.

Wednesday we had Kayla's boyfriend over for dinner. He and his little brother. Now, they are nice enough boys, really. Especially the younger brother. He has GREAT manners. But, something just isn't right with them, and I couldn't put my finger on it completely for a while.

At first, Kayla told me he was a great kid doing well in school. This is usually a requirement for dating a boy in our house. Must be a good kid and must be doing well in school. Well, then Kayla tells me he got in a fight at school, but the fight 'wasn't his fault'. But Kayla was there and she saw that he didn't really hit the boy. Then when the policeman was there, the police man said that Kayla's boyfriend bowed up to hit him (a 'battery on a police officer') but - again - Kayla said she was there and this 'never happened'. Now, I love Kayla, but she is NOT the most truthful person I know. As a matter of fact, it's the opposite. I've never known anyone who lies as much as Kayla does. So.... take that for what it's worth.

So.... now I fully believe that this boyfriend hit this boy at school and threatened to hit this officer, and was arrested for battery on a police officer. Not so bad - maybe. Then more and more truth starts coming out.

Kayla tells me that the boy now attends Chamberlain high school, because of the fight at Gaither. But then one day she asks if he can come over after school. He is at my house IMMEDIATELY after school. Odd since he attends Chamberlain. In emailing the mom, I find out that he doesn't attend school - at all. He's been kicked out and mom has to figure out what to do with him. Get him a job. Maybe get a GED.

Also the younger brother - who can't be more than 14 or 15 - is also kicked out of school. How sad is that? I have NO idea what he did. But in talking to Kayla about her boyfriend - I find out that her boyfriend has been arrested at least four times.

Arrested? Four times????

Ah geez.

So much for the good kid who attends school with her. What we found most sad is that Kayla lied and lied and lied and that truth just started coming out little by little. Then as it happened, she'd be caught in a lie - which of course is bad. But Kayla would say she didn't REALLY lie. Come on! How can you say you didn't lie when you FLAT OUT DID? Kayla is the worst liar on the planet and she is the only one who believes her lies. Maybe someone who doesn't know her might believe her.

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So, after the boys leave our house that night - we all sit down and talk. Chris talked to them all about the choice of friends. BAD choice of friends. There are thousands of choices... why choose to date someone with a police record? Not attending school? Someone who is failing? Someone who can't even attend school? Someone who is going nowhere in life? There are other kids who are doing well in school who have a promising life ahead of them.... CHOOSE THEM to date.

Kayte - thinking Kayla had made the mistake of NOT telling us about her boyfriend's mistakes up-front - tells us that she would like to take this time to tell us that she's thinking about bringing home a new boyfriend. But she'd like to tell us about him now. Up-front. To get it all out in the open.

Oh boy. This is going to be good, I can tell already.

She says.... Well, he's on probation now, and he's a really good kid, now. But he didn't used to be. You see, he was arrested when he was 14 for dealing Cocaine.

ARRESTED?

FOURTEEN?

COCAINE??

I didn't know what Cocaine was until I was an adult. At fourteen this kid was a dealer? If he was arrested for it at 14, I wonder at what age he REALLY started dealing?

Chris proceeded to go into "corrections officer" mode... telling her that he is only a good kid now BECAUSE he HAS to be because he has a PROBATION OFFICER. Chris told her that if the kid came to our house, Chris wanted to be able to pat him down, to ask him questions, and he wanted the name and phone number of his probation officer so that he could call him/her.

Kayte was, needless to say, NOT happy.

Chris and I tried sitting down with them and trying to get her to see -- what kind of a little KID would DEAL COCAINE? She didn't see anything wrong. Maybe it was wrong before, but for right now, he's better. And that's all that matters.

Of course, since this time -- I've now learned that she's not interested in dating him because he treats her like crap. This is the second boyfriend she's had that has done that, and that - to me - is concerning. Mentally abusive is what I would call it, actually. Kayte actually has a very low self-image. I guess that's something we'll have to work on with her. We keep telling her that she deserves better. But I think deep down, SHE doesn't believe it.

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Thursday I received my cell bill. All 279 pages of it. Kayla had talked her pretty-little-head-off all month long. She used up ALL her minutes, all our minutes, ALL our saved rollover minutes, and then kept going. More than $200 later, my cell phone bill, which for 5 of us is usually around $220 was this month over $500. Unbelievable.

After Chris and I discussed it, we decided to have Kayla to pay us the difference. She owed us $204.06 in overage charges. She just got paid, it shouldn't be a problem. However, she's already spent her money. On what, I don't know... but it's mostly gone. She has about $50 left. So, Chris and I decided to 'suspend' her service and we would turn it back on after she paid us for it.

Needless to say, Kayla was NOT happy. But, we figured this might teach her a lesson. Julie told me that I should have let her get the cell phone that has unlimited everything. But, I told Julie, we wanted her on our plan so we could control what hours she was on the phone - so she wasn't on the phone all hours of the day and night. She mentioned something about how we obviously couldn't control her now. Yeah, thanks for that. But, that's where discipline comes into play. And she WILL be disciplined, trust you-me. And ya know - and I explained this to Kayla - you HAVE to learn self-control. HAVE to. It will apply to so many aspects of your life.

Of course, Kayla did try to tell me that it was impossible for her to have talked for as many minutes as Cingular said she did - which is where printing 279 pages of a cell phone bill came in handy. I dropped all the pages in front of her and showed her each and every call - every text message - every EVERYTHING. Told her to go ahead and check it out. While she was at it, she could check out the highlighted areas in which I noted the times she was on the phone when she wasn't allowed to be on the phone. Midnight. 1am. Etc. Yeah... it's ALL on the bill. So... you can't get away with ANYTHING in this age of technology. Don't try me little girl.

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Oddly that night - Kayte decided to sleep with Kayla that night. At the time, I didn't wonder why. Looking back I'm kicking myself. Usually, Kayte and Justin sleep in the same room. Putting two and two together now, I realize that Kayla didn't have a cell phone and Kayte DID.

Hindsight. Gotta love Hindsight.

So after bedtime, Chris couldn't sleep. About 1:30 am he was up walking around downstairs in the dark. He hears some whispering - it's Kayla and Justin.

There - in the dark - is Kayla -- FULLY dressed, shoes on, jacket over her arm, hand on the front door, turned around whispering to Justin who is trying to tell her that "Uncle Chris is UP!" Kayla lets go of the front door, drops the jacket by the game room and proceeds to 'innocently' look for him. But he's already seen her. He catches her and scares the bejeezus out of her.

"What ARE you doing?" He asks her - as IF there is any question really.

"I got up to pee" she explains. Mind you - there are TWO bathrooms upstairs. A half bath downstairs. Which of course doesn't explain fully dressed, WITH shoes on and a jacket and out the front door.

Long story short, Kayla is really upset that "we don't believe her... again...." She mumbles stuff about how we NEVER believe her. She just got up to pee. Nothing more. It's not fair. Blah. Blah. Blah.

Now, we are NOT idiots. We were NOT born yesterday. What's the first thing I do?? That's right... I go to the Cingular website and look to see where little-miss-dressed-and-ready-to-pee might have called using Kayte's cell phone.

Sure as heck, there were outgoing and incoming calls - lots of them - between 10:30 pm and 1:30 am. How odd is that. BUT - not from Kayla's boyfriend. Who was this mystery person? I called the number. A guy answers the phone. I said, "Hey, did you call Kayla last night?" Yes... he says. I ask him WHY. He said, I was with Mario (Kayla's boyfriend) and he wanted to talk to Kayla, I was calling for him - he was using my cell phone.

Okay. Now THAT makes sense.

First person I called was Mario's mom telling her about the whole thing. Letting her know that Mario was not coming over any time soon. Not after his walk to my house at 1:30 am. Nor was Kayla going to HIS house any time soon. Nor will she be going ANYWHERE anytime soon for that matter.

Can you believe it???

Oh my GOSH.

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Friday morning we had ADT installed on the house here. Full alarm system - all the doors, windows, motion sensors, the whole she-bang. I'm EXTREMELY concerned with the kind of kids that Kayla, Justin and Kayte hang out with. It's mind-boggling.

They think nothing of sneaking out. Of going out with Cocaine dealers. Former dealer ... whatever. I guess in their minds, there is a difference. Going out with kids who have been arrested not once, not twice, not three times, FOUR times? And counting.... Justin has things going on that I've told you I can't blog about, but it rates in here with the above and the need for alarms. I'm telling ya, it's scary stuff.

Please keep us in your prayers.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
courage to change the things I can
and wisdom to know the difference.