Long Time No Blog

Long time no blog?

I know... I know....I've not blogged in a week or so now for two reasons, one being it's just been busy at the house and the kids are on the computers so much it's hard for me to find an hour or so alone when I can blog without interruptions. The other reason is that Julie has been doing so well that I'm almost afraid to blog. Afraid to say how hopeful I am only to be hurt/let down again. But - I have an hour or so right now... So here goes....

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So, Kayla is being punished for her bicycle she had stolen by her lack of good judgment a few weeks ago. We told her that she is to WALK every single day to and from work until she's saved enough money to go buy another family bike. Out thought process was that she would appreciate the bike ever-so-much when she was forced to walk for a couple of weeks in the hot sun in the late afternoons and in the dark at night. She's asked about taking the other really bad bike we have, but we told her no. She's gotten a ride home from work once and we told her that was not allowed either.


I get it that Kayla doesn't understand the logic behind our punishment... That we really want her to LEARN from it. She'll get that years from now, I know. So, Sunday night she came home from work about 9:15 at night. She rushes upstairs to shower and go to bed.


The next day, Chris notices a bike parked in a neighbor's bush just behind our house. This bush is on the other side of our back yard fence. The bike looked like it had been just THROWN into this bush.

Chris and I immediately felt that Kayla had borrowed that bike from someone and left it there. She was in a rush... didn't want to park the bike out front because she didn't want us to know she'd ridden a bike. We just FELT it.


Chris asked Kayla about the bike. She claimed to have no knowledge of the bike... didn't know who it belonged to. I should mention here that it was in our neighbor's yard. He is an older gentleman with kids in college and not at home. We were confident the bike was NOT his.


After Kayla denied knowing anything about the bike, I walked around the corner to examine it closer. It looked just like their friend KC's bike. Then, on the handlebars I see a McDonald's hat. Where does Kayla now work? McDonald's! She just started, so she has only ONE hat. I take the hat and walk up into her bedroom to ask her again about it.


I said "Kayla, is this your hat?" She said it was and wanted to know where I found it. I told her on the bicycle. Do you know that she had the audacity to continue to deny she knew anything about the bike.


Doorbell rings. It's KC. How ironic.

I ask her if that was her bike. YES. Did she loan it to Kayla? YES.


Oh.
My.
GOD.
Kayla!!!


After 30 minutes or so of constant head-slapping "come on Kayla, geez, everyone in this room KNOWS you are lying!" Kayla finally admitted it.


WHY DOES SHE LIE SO MUCH???


One of the greatest ideas I've had of late is that Kayla needs to write a journal... a lie journal. I think I've blogged about this before. I want her to write out every lie she can think of, what happened, why she lied, what she lied about, and what the outcome was. Maybe even add things like if she REALLY thought people believed her, because it's been my experience that many times when she lies it is SO blatant that EVERYONE in the room knows it's a lie. So... I think a journal would really help her. She enjoys writing so much, she would color the pages and draw on them. And I think it would be very therapeutic for her. Not to mention I'd love to read about them all.

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Julie is coming over for her visit tonight. I'm looking forward to it this time. She sounds really great. I'm just SO AFRAID of getting my hopes up too much.


She called the other day to say that her blood sugar had been below 150 for two days in a row. She was VERY excited about it. I asked her what she was doing differently. She said that she was taking her insulin the way she was supposed to. Huh... go figure. LOL


I know it sounds like a given, but Julie's brain just doesn't work that way.


Julie wrote the kids a card last week and brought it to her visit last Wednesday. The only kid who is not taking Julie's 'new' self very well is Kayla. Kayla is angry with Julie. Kayte is taking it okay but I think she doesn't believe it's going to last. Justin is Justin... supportive and loving as always.


In her letter she told the kids that she was never going to try to kill herself again. That she was sorry for all she put them through. Funny story about the card. I read it and it was hard not to laugh. The spelling and grammar was HORRID. First sentence "I'm sorry for all I put you threw" and it went downhill from there. I had flash-backs of my dad... How he would write the same way, often times doing exactly what Julie does, misspelling tons of words, leaving out punctuation and not capitalizing letters at the beginning of sentences. Dad didn't finish high school. I think he quit in the 9th grade. Julie didn't either, but she almost did - she left her Senior year. But I digress...


Kayla read the card and Julie asked what she thought. Kayla without even hesitating said "I think you misspelled a LOT of words." Yeah... That's my girl. It was sooooo funny.


For now, I remain hopeful about Julie. I am very happy that she is clear and non-drugged. She sounds so much better. I know her disease is still there, but I hope when she starts to get bad again she can seek help quickly from the right sources, not turn to food or drugs or anything else to fix her. Additionally, I'm not sure how I feel about her saying that she's not going to kill herself anymore. I don't think that she ever REALLY tried to kill herself.

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So, the other day my sister Katie called me. Her 4-year old daughter, Tatiana was in the car and they were on their way home from school. Apparently in school they learned about death. On the way home they passed a cemetery and it went downhill from there. Katie called me and Tatiana was crying uncontrollably. She asked her mom what happened to people when they died. Katie explained they went to heaven. Tatiana wanted to know if they could come back to visit, and Katie told her no. This made Tatiana even more upset, so Katie called me for advice.


"We don't believe in re-incarnation, do we???" Katie asked. "Uh... No we do not. We believe you die and go to heaven" I told her. I talked to Tatiana some and she was very upset about the fact that when someone died you couldn't see them again. She wanted to know if SHE died how come she couldn't see her mommy again. I told her that when you die, you only have to wait and EVERYONE comes to YOU, just like a birthday party. You wait, everyone just shows up! She really liked that answer and was much better.


This caused me to think about religions and faith. How can Katie not know if she believes in re-incarnation or not?


What did I believe???? Am I sure of what I believe?


So, at bible study this week we were discussing people being 'saved'. Accepting Jesus as their Savior and that being the only way a person could get to heaven.


Now, I believe that to a great extent. However, I don't believe that their idea of being 'saved' is the ONLY way to get to heaven. An example I gave to the guy running bible study was my Grandma. She died many many years ago. She was a devout Catholic and a VERY VERY good person. She was faithful, she didn't just go through the motions at the Catholic church as I often did, she did it with faith and belief.


She once told us that she died at the hospital once (an operation or something and her heart stopped). She told us that she saw 'the light' and she saw family waiting there for her. She was brought back to life and HATED it because -- she knew at that very moment that she WAS indeed going to heaven. Now... she would say... she's going to keep being really good so that when she really dies she goes to heaven.


Our faith in Church tells us you can't be 'good enough' to get to heaven. That it's like a slap in the face to say you are trying to be 'good enough' to get into heaven. But, I don't think Grandma was ever trying to be 'good enough' just to get into heaven. She was being holy, religious, and a good person because it was the RIGHT thing to do. It was what God wanted her to do. I fully believe my Grandmother is in heaven. Some in my faith... in my Church... would disagree with that. Because she didn't recite some doctrine inviting Jesus Christ formally into her heart she can't go to heaven. I really don't believe that.


So... What does that make me? A bad Methodist? A bad person? I dunno.....


I do know that what I believe in. I believe in God, that Jesus came to save us from our sins. I believe that when I die and go to heaven that I will find out that there was a LOT that I thought I knew for sure was right and it simply wasn't. But, I don't think it'll matter. I think God wants us to do well, love on another, honor Him, have faith, and to bring others to Him. The rest is just gravy.


Speaking of gravy... I'm home now and must get dinner started. Please remember to thank God for all your blessings.