Judge Not

So Sunday Kayte decides to tell me about something that happened to she and Justin on Friday when they were walking to the park on FRIDAY with friends.

Now, I'm going to say this story, and I don't mean to sound prejudice or whatever -- but -- I swear to you, this is another kind of thing that would never happen to Amanda and Jonathan. I don't know why. Because they are whiter than snow? No, I really don't think that has anything to do with it. I prefer to think it's because their friends are just different kinds of people. I mean, I've talked about it before, some of the kids that call here for Justin, Kayla and Kayte sound as if they've just robbed a liquor store - all "gangsta sounding". It's just a TOTALLY different world, I'm telling you. Anyways, the story....

Kayte and Justin are walking with friends to a park. They walk by a park bench where there is writing all over the bench. They notice a sharpie on the ground - they pick it up and try to write with it. It's out of ink, so they drop it. One of the boys walks away, going to his house, the others continue to the park to talk.

Just then a woman screeches her car and cuts off Kayte, nearly running her over. She slams on her brakes, jumps out of the car, and tells the kids that she is an undercover officer and wants to know "where is the bag with drugs in it". Kayte and the other kids have NO idea what the woman is talking about. Drugs? Bag? What??? She said that she saw them exchange drugs for money at the park bench, again explaining that she was an undercover officer, explaining the park was under camera surveillance, and asked where the drugs were. The kids started laughing, which infuriated the woman. The kids explained how they only picked up a sharpie that was out of ink, they didn't know anything about drugs.

The kids went to a friend's parent's house that lived nearby with a mom who is apparently even more protective than I am and she immediately called the police.

The police came out and they took a statement from the kids. Chris and I immediately knew that IF indeed this woman was an undercover narcotics officer she would never identify herself in that manner, nor would she nearly run the kids over with her car, and of course she wouldn't state there were hidden cameras on the property if indeed there were. The whole thing just smelled wrong. We figured it had to be a woman who lived in the neighborhood who was fed up with drug activity in her local park taking matters into her own hands.

The police, however, were not so nice to the kids when they got there. They kept asking them "did you fear for your life?" "Did you think this woman was going to kill you with her car?". When the kids said that, no, they didn't think she was trying to KILL them, the police officer began to put his pen and paper away. The other mother told the police officer that it TOTALLY was not the point, that the point was that this woman was out there harassing kids, claiming to be a police officer when she was NOT, and scared the hell out of the kids who were at the park doing NOTHING wrong. Don't you THINK the police would WANT to know when a person was PRETENDING to be a police officer? I would think so too. She told the officer to pull out his pen and little pad of paper and write down what happened. And he did. I really like this mom!!

I told Kayte that the next time she was almost run over at a park by a person claiming to be an undercover narcotics officer, and the police were called and she was questioned by a police officer, to PLEASE not wait for a couple days before she told me.

Too funny.

***********************

So.... Kayla! She has a new boyfriend. I don't know how long this one will last as he doesn't go to her school - but I REALLY like this kid. We met him at the High School Football game last Friday night. He as a super polite kid "yes ma'am" and "yes sir" the whole time, but not in such a way that he was putting on a 'show', you could just tell it came naturally to him.

The other day Kayla had dinner over his house/apartment. He lives with his Aunt and Uncle. I had her call so I could speak with them to make sure it was okay that she eat over and I spoke with the Uncle. Well, the Uncle was JUST as polite, if you can believe that. I told him what a great nephew he seemed to have, that his manners really impressed me.

When they finished dinner, he drove Kayla home and came in to see the house and meet us. He was blown away with our home. He kept saying over and over again how big it was. Kayla pulled me into a corner and said "Auntie Tina... The ONLY thing they had in their fridge was leftover ham and red bull. NOTHING ELSE!" The kid was so impressed with our house, how big it was, and how much food we had. Our fridge of course was overflowing with food leftover from Thanksgiving.

I think Kayla finds boyfriends like this right around this time of year to REMIND me of how VERY BLESSED I truly am. I mean, this young man was a very VERY nice kid. Polite. Manners. He works. He is happy. He briefly explained at the football game that he was in college, I believe playing football if I remember correctly, and was hurt, had knee surgery, needed $5,000 for something or another, and had to move in down here with his Aunt and Uncle because he didn't have it. Now he's sharing a family member's small apartment with nothing in the fridge but leftover ham and red bull.

But my goodness he was polite. And, having reminders like that of how very fortunate we are this time of year is so very important. It's so easy for me to see people who have SO MUCH this time of year and for me to feel -- inadequate. To wish you could give the kids more. To wish you could do more. To spend half the holiday simply WISHING. When we should spend the holiday season THANKING and remembering how grateful we really are.

***********************

Jonathan, I hope, will be going to Epcot Center with his school chorus tomorrow. He is in a HUGE chorus at school. If you've never heard the Gaither Chorus, it's really something. (Speaking of - Next Thursday, December 6th, is his Holiday Concert!)

In his Concert Chorus alone there are 87 kids. Additionally there is an all female chorus of probably 70 girls. Their Choir Director is Debbie Connelly whom I know from Toast of Tampa. I sang with her for a long time and she has been in many GREAT quartets. She has 2 crowns from singing in quartets deemed the 'best in the world'. Yeah, she's a GREAT singer, and she's teaching kids. How awesome for Jonathan, huh?

The harmonies in their songs are incredible. They were invited to go to Epcot Center to sing with the Voices of Liberty, Epcot's professional singing group. The Voices of Liberty are another Singing Group that Chris and I know from our days singing barbershop. These people are more 'best of the best'. I'd say there are usually 10 professional singers in Voices of Liberty. Jonathan's 87 member chorus is going to sing, in Epcot, with these professional singers, in front of everyone at Epcot? Holy COW!

It actually took a lot of arm-twisting to get Jonathan to go. For some reason, he didn't practice his music or turn in any of the paperwork we gave to him. Heck, it only cost us $15 for the bus, but out of it get got in free this time, PLUS two tickets to get in free for the future. (One the school keeps for a future planned trip, one he can keep.) Why on EARTH would he not want to go? I dunno... But hopefully today he turned everything in because it's a great opportunity. I'll let you know later.

**********************

I've been debating on whether on not to blog about this. I don't want to come off as self-righteous by any means. Blogging, if it does nothing else for me, allows me to sit back and examine many sides of a situation. Sometimes I go into a blog thinking (bull-headed) one way and finish the blog thinking totally different. It's the main reason I love blogging. I enjoy thinking and examining things that much.

Last night we were with a group of fellow Christians. The subject came up about a person (not in the group) who was applying for a job, was 3 months pregnant and didn't tell them at the time of her interview. Nobody for sure knows why - did she KNOW she was pregnant? "How could she not know?" Someone said. Was she ethically and morally wrong? She's not required by law to disclose that she was pregnant, and by law, the employer doing the hiring isn't allowed to ask. There's a reason for that... Many times an employer wouldn't want to hire someone knowing they were pregnant. So, if you were pregnant, would you want to tell them at your interview? So, isn't it ethically wrong for the employer to ask, knowing that statistically your odds of being hired are then slim to none? Why was the woman, who followed the law and kept quiet (assuming she knew) morally wrong? Hmmmm....

I don't know why this has been on my mind all day today. I think because we - the group of us - judged this woman without knowing her or her circumstances. And it's bothered me all day that I judged her without knowing much about her.

Today my mind as I thought about this were two people in particular...

Jennifer who was FIVE MONTHS pregnant before she knew she was pregnant. How does that happen? Well, things were going on with her and she just assumed she was sick and gaining weight. She'd always had period problems. Had she been the one interviewing, she'd have flat out NOT KNOWN at three months. And us Christians would have had her judged and sentenced as a morally bad person.

Then I thought about one of the kids' friend's moms. She has teenage children, high school age, but has been wanting another child desperately. She just had a baby a few months ago. We didn't find out she was pregnant until she was 6 months pregnant. Why? Well, because - as she shared with us at that time - she had SO MANY miscarriages that she didn't want to 'share the good news' until she knew for sure that the baby was going to survive. Keeping a pregnancy secret at 3 months because you've had 6 miscarriages or more in the past couple of years has got to be a difficult decision. I'm sure it's one that she probably didn't make after the first few miscarriages - but probably one she made after heartaches after heartaches... It might have been the best way that SHE may have known to protect herself and her sanity, should she lose another baby.

Who is to say, if this person were the one who applied for the job and she kept a pregnancy to herself for this reason, that it was wrong? Me? Not me... Who am I to judge?

Judging is a bad idea, in my opinion. So many times I feel dirty after I hear people talk about things they are judging people for - in particular things I've done: Don't buy a lottery ticket. Don't go to Amscot. My boss is big on these things and preaches to me often times.

But ya know, I actually spent $12 the other day on scratch-off tickets. I haven't bought lotto tickets in YEARS. I spent $12 and won $28. I needed that more than you know. I am not a gambler... I don't have a problem... Don't judge. It's just a ticket.

And, yes, I went to Amscot right after Thanksgiving. If I didn't, we'd have no food for dinner tonight. Payday isn't till next week and things are not so well this time of year. (Bathroom remodels at Thanksgiving and Christmas? Some... But not many.) Am I a sinner? No, of course I am not. I am, however, providing for my family in the only way I know how, without going to a food bank.

So, I ask you all to take a little time to think before you judge. Or better yet... Don't judge at all. Leave judgment to God. He's really the only one that matters anyways, right? Compassion is a trait that I think many of us could strive towards a little more every day. Have compassion for your fellow men, and know that we will all be judged by Him when our time comes.

Luke 6:37
Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven.