Sunday, February 19, 2006

The Arrest

I started this blog because it seemed like every day something new happened. To be honest, I somewhat hoped that as I journaled my days I would see that it really wasn't all that bad. So far, I'm proving that wrong.

The day started great - Tatiana had a beautiful baptism - we were all there together. And, I'm proud to say we managed to get all 4 teens showered, dressed and ready to go - and were at the church by 9:30 as requested. Woo hoo! Julie being there was kind of weird. At Katie's house she pulled the kids into Katie's bedroom privately (which of course she's not allowed to do, I have to be there to supervise - so I invited myself and joined them). She just layed in Katie's bed and tried to cuddle with the kids as if they were babies. The kids didn't want to do it, but Julie somehow seemed to 'need' it. It's funny... I realized at that time that Julie being with her kids is not because the kids need her - it's because of Julie's needs.

Before I get into the 'arrest' I want to tell you a quick story that I forgot to blog from the other day. When the Guardian Ad Litem was here, we talked about how much the kids hate to read. I've had them read things to me aloud and - they are not good readers at all. While at the store the other day I saw some Judy Blume books. When Julie and I were kids, we used to read those books -- and LOVED them. Even Julie who hated reading and really hated anything about school - she too loved Judy Blume's books. So, I though - worth a try! Chris and I talked about the fact that they were 'easy reading' books, but - I'm not trying to challenge them. I want them to pick up a book and enjoy reading it. I think that might happen with these books. So we bought a few. I'll follow up on this story later when I see how the kids do.

Okay, on to the arrest. Are you sitting down?? After the baptism, Justin stayed with Katie to help clean up, and we dropped Jonathan off at his Quartet practice. We brought the two girls home. Chris and I were then going to run to Lowes to buy some stuff for the bathroom that we need to get started on. (Again, by "we" I really do mean my incredibly handsome, talented and handy-man husband, Chris) The girls asked if we could drop them off at the mall while we went to Lowes to shop, then pick them up after we were done at Lowes. Now... that was a very reasonable request as we have to drive right by the mall - so we agreed. Kayla brought her little backpack with her - she said she was using it as a 'purse'. What's odd about that is that Chris had a gut feeling when he dropped them off and he actually told Kayla not to shoplift - but not in those words. He said "what's in your backpack"? She said just makeup. He told her to make sure there was only makeup in there when we picked them up. We gave them $20 so they'd have some money, left my cellphone with them and we left.

We knew we wouldn't be long - just had to get a tub and pick out some tiles for the floor and walls. While shopping, the phone rang - it was Kayte. Chris saw who it was and said to me "Kayla got caught shoplifting". He answered the phone, and he was right. *heavy sigh* Here's what happened.

The girls were in this one store called "The Icing" - they sell all kinds of girlie-girl stuff. From hair stuff to purses, earrings to shoes. Kayte was in there with a friend from school, Kayla was alone in a corner. Kayla began putting hair barettes belonging to the store in her hair then took them out and stuffed them in her bra. Here's the kicker - the stupid things were only worth $3. They were, of course, watching her - and she was caught walking out. They called security, security called the police.

Here's where it gets hard because I was just told that Julie never told Gwen what happened before. This is not the first time Kayla has stolen things. She's stolen from family and friends plenty of times. And, she was caught shoplifting in a store once as well, taken to Juvie and booked. Regretfully the store later dropped the charges. I'm sorry Gwen, I don't know why Julie didn't tell you. I don't really know why Kayla does it, but we have talked about it at length. Her first day here, she had stolen some expensive hair gloss from Katie's house (she was staying there before she came here). We confronted her about it and she denied it for a long time. But it was so incredibly obvious she was lying. She just kept making up new lies, but they were transparent. Eventually she told the truth. She told me that she doesn't know why she lies and doesn't know why she takes things, she just does it. No doubt she needs help.

I am now waiting for a phone call from the police to tell me what they are going to do with her. Because it was her second offense, they immediately took her to Juvie. I keep thinking "what am I going to do with her when she gets home", and - I really don't know the answer to that. I've never dealt with this before. I mean, the fact that she just 'does it'.... I don't know how to help her. Kayte told me that she felt the only way to get Kayla to change was for her to feel she may go to prison for a long time if she ever does it again. Who knows....

Julie has called no less than 6 times since this happened. She 'feels bad', 'feels sad' and 'doesn't know what to do'. Okay, so when did this become about Julie? Yeah Julie, I really have time to think about how you are feeling right now. Jeez!

I'm supposed to have a conference tomorrow morning at the school about Justin and Kayte's grades with one of their teachers - but I'm going to cancel that. I suppose it would be impossible for me to get all the teachers in a room at one time to go over all 4 kids, huh. Now, on top of the State visits, my personal counselor visits, school conference visits, dentist visits, psychiatric visits (they will be going shortly), I now need to schedule some time off work for the court visits we'll need to make for Kayla. Grrrrreat.

Okay - funny thing just happened. Kayte came in here and wanted to know what I was doing. She's still on restriction so she can't be on the computer or the phone. I said, "why don't you go read that book I bought for you" (the Judy Blume book). She said, "good idea! I think I'll go read a book." She then said... "whoa.... that is something I have never said before!" I just laughed and laughed.

Thank you again for those who have given to us for these kids. Evie, Mom, Katie, and anyone who has us in their thoughts and prayers. Keep it coming... the prayers I mean... pray that Kayla will find her way.

I'll send a follow-up after I hear from the police. It might be tomorrow depending on how late it is tonight.

Love you all... Tina

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