Who Knows? God Knows!

So often I do so much for the kids that I really truly begin to think that I do too much for them. Every morning I've been waking up at about 5:30am to make sure the high schoolers are up for school. If I still hear them up and in the house at 6:35 - I go to push them out the door (yell at them and tell them to get moving) - their bus comes at 6:40-ish. They tell me: "Auntie Tina, if you didn't get up, we'd still make it just fine, you worry too much." So... I decide to sleep in yesterday and let them get up on their own. Can you guess what I'm going to say??? Yepper... they overslept and Chris had to drive them to school. Grrrrrrr

Then there is the whole pushing at bedtime thing. We want them in bed, lights out, eyes shut at 10pm. In particular because Justin has such a hard time waking up at 5:30 in the morning, but also because we believe that well-rested kids do better in school. But - they do SO MUCH before bed: brush teeth, pick up their rooms, paint their nails, shower, etc - that they NEVER got to bed at 10pm. So we started telling them to go to their rooms at 9pm to get ready for bed... but they had to be IN bed by 10. It just hardly ever happens. I'm so tired of saying "go to BED" that it makes me sick just thinking about it. They don't understand that between 10 and 11 is Chris and my only time to be together quietly by ourselves for the day. And when 30 - 45 min of that is filled with my yelling "go to BED" - it's just not fun for us. I just hate it.

In the "I hate it" category as well.... towels. Each of them has a day they are to do their laundry during the week. Do I have to push them to do it on their day as well? Of course I do. Just this morning I finally got Kayte to take up the last of her clothes... she had ONE load to do on Monday. Course she didn't start them until Monday night.... didn't put them in the dryer until Tuesday night (cutting into Jonathan's laundry day) and I found the last of the load on top of the dryer this morning (Wednesday) and put it out for Kayte to finally finish bringing upstairs by 8 this morning. I probably told her to do her clothes 6 times in the last 2 days. It took a total of 3 days for the one load to get done... which is pretty typical of the kids doing their laundry. But...... the towel situation drives me nuts. This weekend, I couldn't find a clean towel to take a shower. I go to check the kids rooms, but I couldn't even open the door in Justin and Kayte's room there was so much CRAP in there. So I go into the room - frustrated and angry. I find TWENTY towels in their room dirty. TWENTY. How do 2 kids (who already had 2 laundry days this week) accumulate 20 towels in their room??

Don't get me wrong.... the kids do a LOT of stuff right. Each of them has a room downstairs that they are responsible for keeping the floors clean... and they do that often times with no pushing. But Lordy let me tell you... with four teenagers - when there is something difficult (like trying to get them to bed) - it's four times as hard as it was when I was raising Amanda. UGG

I have news on Julie. Last week Julie told me that she wanted to sell her house and move up here by us. Well... at first I thought this might be a great idea. I was the one who suggested it to her quite some time ago actually. My thinking was that Julie didn't need a 4 bedroom huge home way down in Riverview. She could sell it and live in an apartment or something up here closer to us... and she could be closer to the kids. As it is now it takes her 45 min to an hour one way to drive over. It would be really nice if she lived close enough to drive over on short notice... or maybe come over to watch Justin play baseball.... or who knows - maybe even attend a school football game with the kids or go to a parent/teacher conference with us. But Julie doesn't want to go smaller... I think that she believes that doing so would mean she's accepted that she's not going to get the kids back. I told her that even IF - best case scenario - she got better quickly and got the kids back in a year or two... she would have been closer to them for all that time and could look into getting something bigger if and when that happened. Of course, you all know that I don't really believe that to be possible... but who knows. Julie's hope was to sell her home and buy a large 4 bedroom home in Carrollwood and pay the same amount of money for the home. I don't think that's going to be possible, she only pays less than $900 a month now. And she doesn't pay taxes because of Ron's death or for some reason involving Ron. I've no idea if it's going to be a good financial decision for her to move. Ordinarily, people would put all the pros and cons out there and do some homework in researching different options, but... Julie isn't that savvy with this kind of thing. (Understatement) Anyways, it's something she's talking about doing, so I'll let you know how that progresses.

I think I told you that Julie is no longer talking to me or the kids right now... she wants some time for herself... to work on just herself without talking to the kids or to me. But she is talking to mom, so I do get some information second-hand. Apparently the psychiatrist treating her is going to go to court and try to get her in a Residential Treatment program. I'm assuming that this is the long term treatment that we've all been hoping Julie could get into since back in Jan of 06 when I first got the kids. Julie is not happy about it, but I think it might be good for her. No doubt - whatever she's been doing in the past has not worked - and trying anything new would be worth a try in my opinion. I talked to someone just a few minutes ago about this and they asked why Julie wouldn't want to give this a try. I said that I honestly felt that Julie still believes she's going to get her kids back in a few months. It's really so sad. Mom also told me that Julie thinks this residential treatment program will be someplace where she can come and go as she pleases. I can't imagine that's the case... but who knows. I just know that any kind of long-term treatment facility where Julie can just work on Julie would be perfect. I wish so much that it could be one of the nice places that I hear about on the news for stars and such or on Dr. Phil... but I'm pretty sure it's going to be a state-run facility who will take most all insurance or people with no insurance.

I wasn't sure if I was going to blog about this next thing or not. I try to just keep it about how we are doing with the kids and Julie, not our personal lives... but this is really a cool story which somewhat involves us and the kids.

Chris and I did our taxes and had a little left over after paying bills to think about spending on something fun. It wasn't much.... not enough to fix the transmission on the Durango, but more than a trip for dinner and a movie. We thought if we could find a really good deal on a very inexpensive hot tub (something we've been wanting for years now) it would be a good investment and something we could enjoy for years to come. So the hunt began.... searching the papers for a cheap hot tub that wasn't in horrible condition. From experience we knew that it should have a nice lid with it... lids can be very expensive and a good lid will save you money on your electric bill. We thought we'd want one that could fit 3-4 people, but our price range seemed to allow for only a 2-person tub.

Then, in the paper, Chris finds one very cheap... and it is a large tub. He calls the guy... and they hit it off well. He tells Chris about the tub.... holds 7 people comfortably, it's BIG, has a waterfall, cool color lights, etc. Of course I think it's got to be a hunk of junk. They chat on the phone about it a couple of times, each time Chris talks to him he's certain the guy must have sold the tub by now. Then the guy tells Chris to come over and take a look at it - see if we want it. I go with him to play devil's advocate; I ain't spending money on a hunk-of-junk that's going to be a money-pit needing repairs. What we see when we get to the guys house was surreal.

It was beautiful. Simply, beautiful. Large, top-of-the-line everything, and included one of those tops that one person can take off with one hand. It can't be true... must be some kind of bait and switch.

We talk to the guy and he tells us the story. He's a devout Christian who used to build houses. The market isn't doing so well, so he just changed jobs. He and his wife needed some quick cash so they decide to sell the hot tub. He tells us that he talked to a dozen people or more, and that of all of them - he felt a 'calling' to talk to Chris. He tells us that he almost immediately realized that he way under priced the hot tub because his phone wouldn't stop ringing - he had to turn off the phone. He and his wife realized that they could simply tell everyone that the hot tub had been sold or was no longer for sale... then turn around next week and put it in the paper for WAY more money and make two or three times their money by just waiting the week. But -- he said -- he had this nagging gut feeling that he needed to sell this hot tub to Chris. He says "I know that it's just a hot tub... I know! But... I felt God telling me to sell it to Chris." And he didn't say it in a 'scary Christian' kind of way... he was sincere and you could see a subtle bit of embarrassment he had in telling us that God was telling him to talk to us. He said that even as of that morning, he and his wife discussed it again - saying that if they waited only one week they could double or triple profits... so they got on their knees and prayed about it. Again, his embarrassment showed on telling us that he was praying about a hot tub. He says that it was then that they both felt that God wanted them to sell the tub to us, if we wanted to buy it.

Buying it was a no-brainer. Of course we did... and in the process... we got to meet an awesome Christian couple who's openness to talk about praying, and openly talking about God and Jesus really moved me. When the guys came to move the hot tub (Rec Warehouse) he told us that this tub is still sold new in their stores for $8,000. And the lid alone will cost you $800. My gosh, isn't God just amazing?

So... I don't know what God's intentions are with the hot tub - but He obviously has plans. Maybe it's just as simple as giving the kids something to be really excited about during this tumultuous time. Maybe we're going to need to relax because God sees a bumpy road ahead for us. Maybe we were just supposed to meet this couple. Who knows??? Oh wait, I know... God knows.

The kids really are pumped about this hot tub. They LOVE it. Jonathan was in it last night and comes running into the house telling me that something is trapped inside/under the tub. Sure enough... I hear a faint little 'meow'. I open up the panels around the tub and out comes the cutest little black cross-eyed kitten. Boy, he must have been scared and hungry! I assume he'd gotten in there when the guy opened the panels to show Chris the motor and stuff underneath, and got trapped when he closed it back up. The little guy made the trip all the way from Brandon to North Tampa inside this tub. We left him on the porch last night but this morning he was nowhere to be found.

I should also take a moment here to brag about my awesome husband. He had that tub installed, ran some special kind of wires from our breaker box, underground, to the hot tub, in ONE day. He dismantled the screened in porch so the movers could get it on the porch, and within hours we had a hot tub with electricity and a fixed screened in porch. Simply AMAZING. Again... if any of ya'll need some side jobs done - he's incredible and fast. It's funny really because he charges by the hour, but works super fast. I'm always telling him to SLOW DOWN, but he says that he wants to be fast and fair. I remember my dad used to do that as well; work side jobs and people would think they couldn't afford him because he charged by the hour, but he was fast and good at what he did and always had repeat customers.

Please keep the kids in your prayers. They are going through a lot right now. I think they all now realize they are not going home. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult this must be for them. I've grown to love these kids as if they were my own and it hurts me to see them confused and hurting. On one hand feeling happy and safe, and on the other hand feeling as if they are backstabbing their mom by feeling this way. It's a horrible position to be in. So - please - pray for them.

"The secret of life then is to control your mental states, for if you will do this the rest will follow. To accept sickness, trouble, and failure as unavoidable, and perhaps inevitable, is folly, because it is this very acceptance by you that keeps these evils in existence. Man is not limited by his environment. He creates his environments by his beliefs and feelings. To suppose otherwise is like thinking that the tail can wag the dog." Emmet Fox