I should also mention here that Julie has already called Karen to ask if she could go to the doctor to get pain pills. Karen told her that she needed to get non-narcotic pain pills if she got them. I'm hoping and praying this is nothing... but it's been my experience with Julie that once she goes looking for something for pain... it's all downhill. But she's doing so much better now, I hope she'll stay on the right track. I also know that Julie's been filling narcotics (a headache pill she's giving to Katie), and I hope she's not saving any for herself.
I got a call from Karen again today. She's still looking for the actual paperwork on whether the kids can or can not stay the night with friends. I told her... "I just find it odd that you would tell them that after you told me they were not allowed to go over their Aunt's or Nana's house to spend the night". She said "well, I know they can't do that but they can go over their friends house". WHAT? Here's the deal: If they want to sleep over a family member's house, the family members (everyone in the house) need to have background checks, fingerprinting done, and home inspection. But they are supposed to be allowed to go to friends houses to sleep over with none of this. WHAT? What the hell kind of backward-ass sense is that? Only the DCF could come up with crazy ass rules like that. Sorry for the curse words, but -- it just aggravates me when they don't make sense like that. Oh, and yes I asked why and how this came about. They already had the rule in place about what needed to be done for the kids to sleep over somewhere - but then someone said 'that's not really fair to teenagers who are trying to lead a normal life'... so they came up with the 'friends' rule. It makes no sense at all. And I'm going to wait until I see it in writing before I allow them to go somewhere else.
I had a little run-in with Kayla when I got home at lunch. She wanted to go to her friend Anna's house. Anna's a very nice girl, and she just broke up with her boyfriend (they've been dating since the 6th grade if you can believe it!). I said "is her mom there?" and of course Kayla said yes. So before we leave, I call Anna's house to ask her mom if it's okay for Kayla to come over for the afternoon... guess who's not home?? Yeah. So I tell Kayla we'll have to do it another time. If I had talked to this mom already and knew that it was okay with her for Kayla to be there with no adults, that would be one thing. But I hadn't talked to her... so I said she couldn't go. She - of course - was devastated.
When Amanda was their age, she was the only teenager. We set rules and she hated them, and she fought them, and she complained all the time... but it was just her. This is the hard thing about having 5 teenagers. Times that times 5! Holy hormones batman! Pass the Valium! Now.. I am kidding when I say that. Mom said something to me yesterday about how I usually sound so 'happy' and 'up' in my blog. I have changed a LOT since getting these kids. I think that if I didn't look for the positive in every aspect of my life it would be very dark and scary. And, who wants to live like that? I have found that if I trust God and just do what he's calling me to do... I may not see it at the time, but looking back - I can clearly see how it was the 'right' thing to do and how it was part of a bigger plan. And - because I believe that - instead of 'fighting it' and getting all upset when something bad happens, I feel a sense of serenity knowing how good it's going to look when I'm looking back. I'm not living in some fantasy world of wonderful things... I just choose to not have a negative outlook - most of the time anyways. I still 'vent' here using this blog as an outlet.
Speaking of negative venting.... here goes....
I just got a call from the kids. Picture this: I'm sitting at my desk at work. Boss is at the copier - maybe 8 feet away. The phone rings, I answer. It's the kids - SCREAMING. Apparently Kayla and Kayte were calling Jonathan a pig because he 'ate so much' and told him he was a slob. (Funny... you should see their room) Jonathan got furious and ended up breaking a glass. The girls took the opportunity of his broken glass to be a reason to call me and 'tell on him' so that's what they did. I can't being to explain the havoc that was happening on the other end of that phone call. The girls trying to 'tell on' Jonathan, Jonathan trying to tell me his side by screaming at me from another room. I had to physically hold the phone a foot away from my head because it was so loud. My boss just gives me 'the look'. I hang up on them... call Chris and ask if he can call them. Well, he's painting and can't make a call. I call them back and tell them to each get into a separate room and shut the door. No video games, computer, nothing.
How long did I really think THAT was going to last? Not long. Less than 5 minutes later Kayte calls. Apparently 'everything is better now' oh and by the way, Anthony (the former boyfriend of Kayla that set the dumpster on fire) called and wanted the girls to go with him to his Aunt's house. She lives on a lake and they have a blast while there. I was thinking 'Are you fricking kidding me? My ears are still ringing from the last phone call and now, minutes later, everything is better and you want to go out with a friend?' but I simply said "NO". She then proceeds to explain to me why they should be allowed to go, because she really can't accept the answer of 'no' apparently. (Kayte now has the nickname in our house as the "attorney" for this very reason) I stopped her mid-sentence... I told her that there was going to be no discussion right now. I said no and that's it. She should stay in the room she's in until I get home tonight.
I did call back and talk to Jonathan about his role in the whole thing. He said that it hurt so bad that they were picking on him. I explained that it was never okay to get 'that' angry. Ever. I also explained that it was harder now to yell at the girls about their name-calling when he made a 'bigger show' of it... and now I had to yell at him!
I'm almost afraid to go home tonight - afraid of what I'll find. The funny thing is that when I left home after lunch today I wanted to tell them all to get out of the house... to go play outside... go to the park and throw a baseball... play basketball out front... jump on the trampoline... or just go swimming and enjoy the sunny day. They've been couped up too much inside and it's never healthy for teens to be inside that much. But dang those computers and video games... they've gotten into our kids heads and it's all they can think about. Sigh....
A good friend of mine has a daughter who has a brain tumor (I think Christal is 7 or 8 now). They can't cure her... she's trying Tea now to help stop the growth. I read her blogs... and it's utterly amazing their faith and strength. Two years ago, Chris was a hard-working mom who had all the normal worries that you and I experience every day... work... kids.... how to work overtime for extra cash without sacrificing family time... school. And one day it all changed. I thought it was a good thought to leave you with a snip from her blog today.
Today was pretty low-key, the usual laundry, dishes and whatnot. It was one of
those days that Christal just wanted to DO something. It started to pour down
buckets of rain. Christal said, "I want to go out there... (pointing outside)".
I said, "Out THERE? In the rain?" She said, "Yes." I thought, hmmmm... it's not
like there is something better to do, Kylie is asleep, we don't have anywhere to
be..... then said, "Do you want to change, or go out there just like this (in
our clothes)." She said, "Just like this." I said, "OK! Lets go." Grabbed her
hand, and out to the lanai we went. I think at first she might have thought, “I
can’t believe Mommy is letting me do something so crazy. And I didn’t even have
to ask TWICE!” I got ready to open the door and Christal was going CA-RAZY,
giggling and laughing. It's one of those laughs that I rarely hear her laugh.
It's reserved for when she's REEEEALLY excited. I opened the door and we went
out. It was one of those rains where the droplets were very BIG. I held her
hands so we could sorta dance around for a bit. Then we sat down on the glider
and let the rain completely soak us... kicking our feet up, swinging and
swinging, singing and singing, "We're SINING in the rain... just singin' in the
rain..." pretty much at the top of her/our lungs! I'm CERTAIN the neighbors had
to think we had lost our minds. :) Ya know, this family is prrrrretty close to
looney toones most all the time anyway, but this was nutty even for us. :) At my
age, I can honestly say I've never done this before. I think as adults we spend
our entire lives trying to NOT get wet… staying out of the rain… waiting in the
store until the rain slows to almost stopping, running as fast as we can as to
stay as dry as possible. Huh, to see a rain-storm through a child’s eyes.
Thinking back on it now, it was… liberating somehow… one of those “moments” with
Christal I’ll always remember. I thought while we were out there, God knows what
he’s doing… Kylie is sleeping! She had woken up a little bit just before we went
out there, but she fell back to sleep which she RARELY does once she wakes up.
Anywho… just a cool moment in the life. It didn’t last very long, 10-15 min or
so (as it goes with Florida rains)... but it’s time I won’t soon forget. We were
soaked completely through our clothes right to our skin, hair dripping... MAN,
that was fun.
Remember to thank God for you blessings... even the smallest of blessings like a rainstorm or spending extra time with your kids.
1 comment:
Tina, I worry for Jono. I truly believe that he needs both parents right now on a level other than the one necessary for the other kids. Maybe try to plan something he really loves and take him, without the others. Middle school as we all know is the WORST! Just sticking in my breadth of "raisin' kids" knowledge.
God Bless.
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