I'm at my wits end with trying to understand how to best help Justin in school. Of course I check their grades ALL the time using the online program the school uses. As I told you yesterday, he had 4 D's. (End of the nine weeks is this Friday) Today I find out his English grade has now slipped to an F.
Yesterday I had sent an email to his Guidance Counselor hoping she could help me better help Justin. She called this afternoon right after I found out about Justin's F (perfect timing, huh?). First I had to explain the whole story to her in short-version... why the kids were with me... how they had done in past in school... etc. I had asked her in the email I sent to her yesterday if she felt Justin should be removed from his advanced classes. Well... he's only in one advanced class - Science. Here is what she told me:
Justin has very high standardized test scores, which shows that he IS capable of doing well in school in these areas. She told me that she felt a lot of it might be the situation he is in right now (because of his mom) and/or the adjustment to high school. She tells me that a lot of kids get shell-shocked when they go to high school and their first 9 weeks grades are horrible. She then told me "don't dwell on it".... and she told me that she is going to tell him the same thing "don't dwell on it". She tells me that - often times the kids are so freaked out their 2nd nine weeks because of their 1st 9 weeks grades that they do horribly the 2nd nine weeks as well.
Over and over again she told me to encourage him, to tell him how well he did on his testing and that 'he can do it!' and not to dwell on it.
But here's the thing... we told Justin that if any of his grades slipped down to an F we'd pull him from Baseball. But - is that the right thing to do? What if it is just the adjustment of everything and the added stress of being pulled from his home by DCF? What if taking baseball away sends him into a spiral of depression? What if it causes him to lose hope and/or faith in himself?
I told the guidance counselor how difficult it was since these were not my kids. When something comes up with Jonathan, I know exactly what's wrong and the most likely reason. I have that gut feeling and that natural motherly instinct. But I simply don't have it for Justin, Kayla and Kayte. UGG
I was thinking that.... maybe instead of pulling him from Baseball all together... I should bench him for the game this weekend - or until he gets his grade up. You know what I mean... have him GO to practice but not be able to play. This way it isn't pulling it from him entirely.... but it is showing him we are serious. But then... what IF he doesn't bring it up before the end of the nine weeks only 2 days away? Then what would we do?
I should add here that I do not feel Justin's poor grades are a result of Baseball. He only practices on Thursday nights - and that starts at 7:30. Then they have one game on Saturday morning. Additionally, the league is a fall league... where they just work on skills, there is no real focus on winning.
Of course, not only did I get this bad news and the guidance phone call, but then I get an email from his math teacher (has a D in her class). Here is what she told me:
It is apparent to me that he needs some 1 on 1 tutoring to bring his grades up. I am available everyday after school, we also have two other math teachers that stay after on Tues and Thurs for free tutoring.
One other thing that I find important.... Justin asks me to repeat almost everything I say....all directions, etc. In other words, his listening skills are very lacking. I would recommend to improve that to stop all repeating for him. He has come to rely on that. I talked to him about that today....so he knows we are not going to enable that any longer. I think you will see a big difference in a short time.
Speaking of having to repeat everything she says.... I also talked to the guidance counselor today about having Justin evaluated for his speech problem. She says they have a speech therapist in school once a week who would be happy to evaluate him. That's GREAT news, and I'll let you know how that goes. She asked me what kind of speech problem Justin had and the only thing I could tell her is that - he often times doesn't use his upper lip to talk at all. As a result, his speech is often times muffled and/or slurred. I told her that it's a running joke in our house now that we need to speak "Justin" to be able to understand him. Kayte understands Justin most of the time, so she interprets... course sometimes she doesn't understand him either. But again, I'm very happy a speech therapist is going to evaluate him.
Say a little prayer for us that things go okay tonight. I'm headed home in a few minutes and need to deal with all this stuff once there. Pray for patience and guidance.....
Of course if you have any advice, please feel free to use the "comments" link on the bottom of this post to send me your thoughts/suggestions.
1 comment:
Yes, you need to follow through and pull Justin from baseball, even if it is temporary. When I was in high school, I was a severe underachiever that didn't want to do classwork either and would have failed a lot more classes if I hadn't played football. I had to keep my GPA above a 1.5 or else I wasn't allowed to play. Since that was a county rule with no flexibility, I had to meet it. I always made it, often as getting it as close as I possibly could. If my parents had told me I needed a 3.0 or I couldn't play and had really meant it, I would have had a 3.0. They never even set a rule like that, but even if they had, they would have given me a second or third or fourth chance and I would have been able to get away with letting my grades slip and still play football. If you give a kid a soft boundary like that, they'll test it over and over just to see your reaction. If it's a hard boundary, they'll find out the reaction once and won't need to test it again.
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