God Was With Me

The staffing meeting today could NOT have gone any better than it did. It was downright perfect.

I started in the parking lot, in my car, and said a prayer asking God to come into my heart, to be with me as I spoke, that everything I said and did at the meeting would be what He would have me say and do. And boy-howdie did God come through for me.

The meeting started late. Julie and I had to wait for everyone else to get ready and to arrive. I might point out here that Julie looked horrible. She was wearing a very dirty Circle K top and shorts (she was on her way IN to work). And.......... she's ginormous. Maybe it was the clothes she was in... I swear her arms look as big around as my legs... if that's even possible. I was truly worried about her... wondering how her blood pressure is, how her blood sugar is.

When everyone was ready we went into a conference room with Natalia, Natalia's replacement (her last day is next Friday - and yes, the same Natalia that just started on our case a month or so ago), a supervisor from Hillsborough Kids, and Dottie's boss (from the guardian ad litem program). Julie brought all of her paperwork with her, documents showing her negative drug screens, pay stubs, parenting class certificate, and a letter from her boss. The letter from her boss was hand written and just stated that she worked full time (and occasionally overtime) at Circle K and that she made $8.50 an hour. The funny thing is the manner in which the letter was written... sentences starting with no capital letters, words misspelled. Funny actually. I came in with my letter (with copies for each person there) typed, typed documentation printed of all Julie's visits with me and copies of the kid's physicals. Of course, you know me - a little anal at times - my paperwork was sorted, stapled, highlighted in appropriate areas and put together in a neat little packet. Needless to say, they noted several times how great it was to have such 'excellent documentation'.

The supervisor started off by asking each person there for an update. Everyone (including myself) noted how well Julie was doing and what great progress she's made. I was asked about the last supervised visit, as she stated "I see here there was an incident at the last visit... tell me about that." I used that opportunity to open the door about the letter I had written. I didn't READ the letter there, but as I spoke I continued to reference the letter - stating 'details about this are in the letter you have'. You've all read the letter I had in my last blog and know what all I told them about - but I do want to tell you about Julie's reaction.

When the subject of the alcohol came up... Julie took over and said 'let me explain'... and she did. She apologized over and over again saying she shouldn't have done it. When it was my turn to add to what Julie had said, I explained how I had talked to Julie after the incident and she told me that - since my daughter at the age of 20 drank, it's okay for her kids to drink. I went on to say that when I told Julie there was a difference between a 20-year old and a 13, 14 and 15 year old, and at that time Julie told me "no there is not a difference". At that time, Julie became very defensive at the table... she said "Christ, she's nearly 16 years old, I don't see what the big deal is!" With that, all the workers sat there looking at each other with a stunned look on their face. I then said, "And this is what I'm talking about - Julie honestly and truthfully does not see anything wrong. In my opinion, Julie simply doesn't understand the difference between right and wrong." They clearly saw that today. Then Julie went into attack mode saying "You are sitting there like you are Polly Perfect and you are NOT. Let's talk about YOU while we are all talking!" At which time all the people there immediately stopped her and told her - they would NOT talk about Tina, that this meeting, this case plan, the reason they are all there is because of JULIE and they would NOT discuss anything else. There was no need to do so... I am not the one in the predicament that Julie is in. And just like that it stopped. That was really great.

I went on to express each one of my concerns... not in a 'list' kind of way... but in a general conversation kind of way. As we talked, one thing led into another and before you knew it, I had stated all of my concerns and how I felt about everything. As we talked, things would come up (like the window tinting and the tattoos) and Julie over and over again argued that "it's not ILLEGAL or it's no big deal!

The end result of our discussion was this: Every single worker in the room told Julie that - just because something is not illegal does not mean it's okay to do. That, at some point in her life, she would have to use good judgement. They also each explained to Julie that I had the best interest of both the kids AND Julie in mind... and that she should try to listen to me when I tell her things like I've been trying to tell her. Julie sat there......... clueless.

So the judgement was as expected: They are waiting for her Psychiatrist to finish his comprehensive mental exam. After that exam is done, they are going to hold ANOTHER staffing meeting to discuss unsupervised visits.

How do I feel about that? Well... if the doctor says that she can't parent - the reason will be her poor judgement skills and she shouldn't be allowed to have unsupervised visits. If the doctor says that she CAN parent again, I suppose I need to let the unsupervised visits happen and hope and pray Julie doesn't make poor judgement calls. If she does... it's all on her.

The really good thing is that - although at times Julie and I argued -- it was a sister argument, not an angry argument. When the meeting was over, we hugged and left. So... again... it could NOT have gone any better than it did today. I think God did truly hear my prayer and that he WAS with me today.

It's after 5 today and I've got to get home! I just wanted to quickly give you an update on today. Thank you so very much to everyone who said a prayer for me today.