The Court Date

Whewwwwww.... today is almost over. Thank the Lord!

I went to the courthouse today at 10 am. Julie was already there, eating. She claimed she had a small headache and thought food might help. She also told me that she met this guy online through a dating service who was a Doctor at Tampa General Emergency Room who told her if she needed treatment or medications to come and see him. Odd place to pick up medical advice, and even more strange that she'd tell me this... but - hey, that's Julie, right? When she was finished eating , we went upstairs to the courtroom and waited outside to be called. There for the hearing was myself, Julie and her attorney, Dottie (the Guardian Ad Litem) and their attorney and the new Hillsborough Kids worker Jay.

While we waited, Julie talked to Dottie and Jay. She explained to them how she has been very depressed lately. She was on the Xanax and now Clonopin and knew neither would really work for her 'anxiety' long term, and she expressed a desire to 'go into the hospital' for treatment to help longer term. Dottie asked what she was having anxiety over and Julie explained about the robbery to her. Dottie suggested that Julie try counseling to learn some 'coping skills', but Julie said her psychiatrist, Dr. Vijapuri, wouldn't allow it. Dottie and I find that very hard to believe.

Julie explained over and over again that her depression that she is feeling now was NOT bipolar depression, but - as she put it- situational depression. She asked Jay for 'permission' to go into the hospital and it 'not be held against her'. Dottie and I both found this a really odd conversation. Dottie told me that she felt that Julie was "laying the groundwork" for prior behavior and hoping that by laying groundwork ahead of time she could avoid criticism. It's funny... Dottie who has been with us since the beginning saw right through what Julie was doing... Jay on the other hand fed right into what Julie was doing.

Julie also mentioned several times during the conversation how she was going to have unsupervised visits after this hearing. Dottie at one point pulled me aside and told me that the Guardian Ad Litem attorney was going to recommend that NOT happen right now.

Another odd thing Julie did while waiting was discuss her medications over and over again. How she had legitimate prescriptions for them so she was allowed to take them. She showed us the copies of the prescriptions several times. She explained how the doctor didn't put "no refills" and that she was tempted to give herself refills (writing it on the rx before turning it in to the pharmacy) but she didn't and she was VERY proud of this. This whole conversation made me uncomfortable (as it did Dottie as well) as I knew that all her prescriptions in the past were prescribed to her. One other thing to mention on her prescriptions is that she has a case plan set up with her doctors to where she is not ALLOWED to go anywhere else to seek treatment without their consent.

When they finally called us in, everyone but me was allowed to sit around a table with the Judge, a court reporter and some other lady who asked questions. I was not allowed to talk at all, nor was Julie unless it was through her attorney. While there, several issues came up which surprised me.

First of all, Julie's doctors report was NOT yet in so they were unable to do anything about unsupervised visits. Julie's attorney was quickly shut down on that item. The Judge asked Jay if he was familiar with the case, and Jay responded 'yes', although he was only on the case one month now. Well... it was quickly apparent that poor Jay wasn't as well-aware of things as he should have been, and the Judge called him on it multiple times.

The Guardian Ad Litem attorney was allowed to ask questions of the court. One of the requests was that the Hillsborough Kids office (DCF) help with transportation to therapy appointments for the kids. Then they mentioned that the kids hadn't been to therapy since July (this surprises me... I thought Kayla and Kayte had been more recently than that - back when the therapist recommended Kayla have an evaluation done by a psychiatrist... I'll need to look at that date). The judge was NOT happy about that. Then the Guardian Ad Litem attorney said that one of the reasons the kids weren't going to therapy was cost. The judge said "they should have Medicaid, this should be a non-issue". I'm BITING my lip so as not to blurt something out. Someone else stated that the kids had Tricare... but the judge said "they should have Medicaid too, I don't see what the problem is" and with that everyone was quiet. So OF COURSE I had to jump in and explain how Tricare was primary and Medicaid secondary, but no therapist takes BOTH so I was stuck with a per-kid per-visit co-payment. The judge then said "well, her relative caregiver funds should be used to pay for that". With that Jay explained that they weren't giving me ANY FUNDS for the kids and explained the kids get social security checks because their dad died. The judge said that he didn't care how much those checks were for, the SS checks were for the KIDS but that Ms. Rhodes needed money to care for the kids. He also said that he saw NO reason that there EVER be a reason that a relative caregiver not get relative caregiver funds. (We're talking about $200 or so a month). He said that he wanted Jay to put together a report showing supported legal findings by December 5th as to "why Ms. Rhodes should not get relative caregiver funds". He's rescheduled a hearing for 12/22 (Ron's birthday!) to discuss this again in court. You KNOW I have to be there for that one!

Then they touched on the my-space episode with Kayla. The judge REALLY yelled at Jay for 'not having control over his relative caregiver (ME!) who obviously wasn't screening what the kids were doing on the internet'. OUCH. With that I spoke up again (against court rules) and told him that - it was an incident when Kayla moved in, and that since that time she has NO internet access any more. Wow.... tough stuff man.

So... the next court date where they will discuss the relative caregiver funds and possible unsupervised visits will be on December 22nd. I need to mark my calendar now.

One last thing happened on the way out. Even though absolutely nothing went Julie's way today.... her attorney - on the way out - told her that he thought she could have her kids back by May. Julie was ESTATIC to hear this. When I mentioned that I felt the kids needed to finish the school year with me, she wanted no part of it. She told me that the kids WOULD want to leave, even if they only had a month of school left, change schools and move in with her. I was beside myself that Julie would even think of pulling them out weeks before school ended. I remember how HARD it was for them to change to our school. Regardless of friends, the curriculum is totally different. It was just staggering to hear her talk about how she was going to do what she wanted to if she got them early. And just so it's clear how I feel about it, I will fight her tooth and nail if she tries to pull the kids out at the very end of the school year - should she get them back about that time.

So... you heard me talk earlier about her medications, headache, the doctor she met through a dating service, her talks of wanting permission to go to the hospital, depression, etc. Well, after the court date she apparently went to Tampa General Hospital ER and was treated. At about 3 pm she had slurred speech and seemed really out of it on the phone. By 5 she sounded much better and was on her way home. They apparently gave her something she needed. Don't know how that fits in with her case plan she had worked out with her doctors, but oh well. I was surprised that she didn't go in for the depression... but I am expecting that to happen soon. If I were a betting woman, I'd bet that she's waiting till after Thanksgiving. Let's hope I'm wrong.

She called the house here on her way home from the hospital........................... and I listened to the whole conversation with her kids with the phone muted. Bad Tina... I know. What's worse is that I recorded it.... not to 'hold against her' at all.... but rather, to just re-listen with an open mind and -- LOOK for a glimmer of a good mom in her words. What I heard was sad.

She talked for about an hour. Well... no... didn't talk - there was dead air for probably 45 minutes of the hour. The kids asked about getting cell phones when they moved back home. Julie asked what Justin had for lunch. Justin asked what she was doing for dinner. Julie told Kayla she wanted her to sew her roommate's baby a pillow for Christmas. Other than this.... it was just.............................................. odd. The whole thing................ odd. Julie wasn't at ALL motherly or concerned or interested in their day or what they were doing. She was .................. bored. The kids talked to her because they had to... they said the one or two things they needed to say.... and after that.... it was just awkward. I've re-listened to some of it to see if I was just being judgemental... and I'm telling you......... it's just WEIRD. Like.... she was just bored and lonely and needed to kill some time.

Quick update on Chris. He needs side-jobs BADLY. We've been talking about that a lot lately. So, yesterday - he got a call from someone to come do some emergency work. They had been burglarized and apparently the person kicked in their door. They needed the door secure enough to not get robbed again until their Homeowners could kick in and replace the door completely. Who was the call from? Pastor Matthew!! Our angel! I swear when he prays for us... it goes directly up to God's ear. He's been there for us so many times... from food through the church, marriage counseling, scholarships for the kids to do things in the church, and the powerful prayers he says often for us. I know what you are thinking mom and NO he did not charge our Pastor for the work done... after all he's done for us - how COULD we. Not to mention Karma. Think of the Karma that poor person who broke into the pastor's house has to deal with down the road! Ouch!!

Speaking of Pastor Matthew, he said something in his sermon two weeks ago that struck me. He said..... "If right now - your name popped up in God's mind - what would he think about you?" I had one of those things where one thing popped into my mind very quickly without even thinking about it. And it struck me that I thought of it so quickly and didn't hesitate (those who know me know that I tend to analyze to death), and yet, in analyzing what I thought I knew that it was accurate. (Well, accurate assuming I'd know what God were thinking!) Again the question: "If my name popped into God's mind right now, what would he think about you" - and immediately I thought "She tries".

Yep... I honestly believe that it's what God would think should my name come up in his head. Prefect? FAR from it. Good all the time? FAR from that as well. But I believe I try... I try so hard. Surely God has to know that.... right? But... do you think that counts as enough? I try to do the right thing all the time. Do right by my husband. Do right by these kids. Do right by my own kids. Do right by my mom. Do right by my in-laws. Do right in what I say and do with friends. Do right in the eyes of God. But................ is trying enough?

I sure hope so.